


Tell Me Lies

by selverya



Series: Of Frost and Fire [1]
Category: The Sims (Video Games)
Genre: Character Death, Crossdressing, Domestic Violence, Embedded Images, Gaslighting, Gen, Ghosts, Manipulation, Moral Ambiguity, Psychological Trauma, Self-Discovery, Transgender
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-08
Updated: 2020-06-14
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:42:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 122,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23063407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/selverya/pseuds/selverya
Summary: A pair of twins from France have settled in magic realm, seeking new directions for their lives. Both have grown from where they came from, into their own in their own rights. Things begin to change around them over time, and it quickly becomes apparent that there are things going on in the background, and there are people that seek to ruin the relative peace of the realm. As one begins to be able to hear the melodic song from somewhere deep within magic realm, the realm's own cry for help, it becomes apparent that they're caught up in something no one seems to understand, whether they like it or not, and must figure out how to fix it.
Series: Of Frost and Fire [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1824940
Comments: 25
Kudos: 16





	1. Prelude

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song association is Little Lies, Fleetwood Mac.

### Part I: Tell Me Lies

_France, 1763_

Rose was gone.

It was for the best, but now he had a thousand things to do, loose ends to tie up, projects to oversee. It was easier, when Rose was here, for him to think, to focus, but it was for the best that Rose was gone. There was only the sound of his boots hitting the ground, crunching the snow, his laboured breathing hanging in the air for a moment before vanishing. Eventually, Jean would find out what he'd done, and there'd undoubtedly be hell to pay. With any luck, it'd be someone else's hell.

It was the only plan Ezio could come up with. Jean wanted Rose. Jean's last wife had turned up somewhere out in the rural countryside, her skull bashed in and the scavengers already halfway through picking her bones clean. His wives before her, two of them, had similar fates, and the moment Jean Dussault decided he wanted Rose, Ezio had already decided he wasn't getting Rose. That was as complicated as that needed to be.

They were running, instead. Ezio had already sent Rose ahead of him. If Jean came by before they were ready, Ezio would much rather the idiot found him and not Rose. He needed to go back to the farm, get their parents ready to go, send the livestock somewhere... packing didn't even matter. Jean paid so little for managing his lands that they'd have better luck working anywhere else, no doubt. What little they had could be replaced, and it wasn't important enough.

All Ezio was concerned about was making sure the lives were seen to. The livestock were half meant to eventually be butchered and half for some other purpose, but they were still living creatures, and Ezio saw no reason to abandon them, not over Jean Dussault.

He already hated that name, but he had a feeling he may later hate it more.

Ezio slowed down as he came closer to the farm. He could see the smoke from the chimney. He glanced over one shoulder, skirting around the fence. One hand moved to open the gate. Someone's hand grabbed his; Ezio loosed a soft gasp and started slightly, grey eyes flicking up to meet blue ones.

Jean.

"Rosalie was supposed to meet me earlier this afternoon," Jean said, in his typical nasally tone. "You wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you?"

Ezio's gaze steeled, some of the tension in his shoulders relaxing. "I wouldn't," Ezio answered. But of course he knew. Rose was his twin, they shared everything with one another, and Rose's panic over that meeting may or may not have been the catalyst for all of this. This was a bit earlier for Jean to come snooping around. That was why he wanted Rose gone first. "Rose was here this afternoon. She should've met you."

"Don't lie to me, boy," Jean said, half snarling. "Rosalie tells you everything. So of course, one would presume she told you about this, and, where exactly she's hiding."

"Even if I did know," Ezio answered, eyes steeling even more, "I wouldn't tell you anything."

Jean's gaze narrowed, a puff of air releasing. It sounded annoyed, and this was the part where Ezio, if he was smart, would backtrack and change his mind. No one had ever said Ezio had a habit of doing the smart thing. He tended to do the right thing, instead, or at least, whatever kept Rose safer. "We can do this the easy way, or the hard way," Jean said smoothly. "I have ways of making you talk, whether you want to or not. I'd suggest, for your own sake, you knock this off. Where is Rose?"

Oh, Ezio knew that. It was no secret, though most of Mortain liked to pretend they had no idea. It was more pleasant that way. There were very few questions as to what had gotten hold of Jean's wives, and mostly, those questions were uttered merely to keep Jean's eyes off whoever was spreading his business around, not because anyone _believed_ them.

He had a reason not to bend.

"I'm not afraid of you," Ezio said, defiantly.

Jean snorted, his weight shifting. "We can fix that character flaw," he answered, "given enough time. This is your last chance, de Lorraine. Where is Rose?"

He said that like it was supposed to change his mind. Ezio would never change his mind, never. There was never an instance before, and would never be an instance in future, that Ezio had put himself before Rose. This snivelling little shit wasn't going to change that.

Ezio's nose twitched, nostrils flaring in indignance. How dare he think Ezio would turn on his own twin so easily? The moment Jean had taken his hands, Ezio had accepted he likely wasn't going to walk away from this alive.

But, Rose would be safe. Rose would be long out of France. It was worth it.

With that, Ezio's nose and lips twitched one more time, and he drew his head back, snatching his hands out of Jean's, and spat at his boots. "I would rather die than tell you anything," Ezio said, his tone low and snarling. He was definitely going to die for this. "No one gets to Rose without going through me first." And that was true, wasn't it? It was always Ezio fighting for Rose. That much, clearly, had not changed.

Jean blinked slowly, his weight shifting again, head tilting back. He looked like he needed a large cup of coffee, or something. Good. Ezio had irritated him. If Ezio knew anything about men, it was that when they were irritated, they were paying attention. The more time Jean spent on Ezio, the more time Rose had to get away.

"That's fine," Jean said. "We can arrange that." Jean shuffled to one side, and for a moment, Ezio was confused.

He picked up one of the firewood logs off the stack by the fence, tossed it in his hand, and then moved back to Ezio. The boy, and he was a boy, loosed another startled gasp, as Jean raised the log and slammed it into the side of his head. It'd be a few years before Ezio finally remembered spitting at Jean's boots.

* * *

_Power comes at a price. In your shadow, he will grow stronger, until one day, the shadow he casts is darker than yours. And then, where there were two shadows, only his will remain. You will have what you want, until the day comes that the shadow comes to destroy you._

* * *

Many years ago, some say hundreds, some surmise over a thousand, Magic Realm was created. Humans, of course, always are afraid of things they do not understand, wish to destroy things that are not like them, because different is strange and dangerous, and none were more strange and dangerous than spellcasters. Witches, warlocks, mages; humans have many names for spellcasters, and which name an individual uses is variant. Some prefer spellcaster, some would rather be called witch.

In ancient times, witches were the voices of the planet, the children of the forest, those who knew the natural world and how to care for it better than anyone else. The witches communed with the nature spirits with intent of forging lasting mutual relationships between those nature spirits and their tribes. The people loved their spellcasters, because through their spellcasters, they had knowledge, prosperity, and peace.

However, as the world began to change, so too had the peoples' ideas and perceptions of spellcasters, and magic as a whole. It began to be feared, magic, seen as something too vast and powerful to control, too chaotic. In time, spellcasters and their magic began to be driven out of villages and towns, and then, humans began to become violent towards them.

Several old, and powerful, magical lineages, the Five Families, came together seeking a solution, and a way of protecting and preserving the magical arts and bloodlines. Together, they designed and built a new world within a different dimension, free of human presence, where those of magical blood could freely learn and teach magic, watched over by the powerful All.

But this peace was, unfortunately, not to last.

Many years later, long after the Five Families have, in some cases, died out, blooded out, or at least vanished from public view, the Magic Realm, watched over by the three Sages, began to fall apart. Some call it a curse, others call it an inevitability, but a strange vortex has begun to tear at the fabric of Magic Realm's reality. The Sages, thus far, have managed to keep it steady, and prevent the vortex from tearing its way too far into the heart of Magic Realm, but the spellcasters are scared. This cannot last forever, and though the Sages insist otherwise, everyone knows the truth.

Magic Realm is doomed.

Worse, still, some speak of a screeching, so grating it is said to drive those who hear it temporarily insane, from somewhere deep within the furthest reaches of Magic Realm. No one knows what it is, or why it is heard, only that it is.

But some speak not of a grating screech, but of a beautiful, and mournful, song, crying for help. Whatever it is, only some can hear this song rather than the screech, and those that hear the song may yet hold the key to unlock the secrets of Magic Realm, and the vortex, that have been buried for centuries.

But what will they unbury? And what will unburying it destroy?


	2. Everything Goes Away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So uh, these two chapters were just rewritten, so if you read this before, you'll want to go back and re-read it. Some things got a bit more fleshed out and I tweaked a couple other things to move away from some cliches and commonly used material. I will tell you, the outlines have officially reached over 12,000 words and that's just the outlines and I've not even gotten into Throw Me Away's expanded outline yet. So yeah this one's going to be a monster, hopefully it's a nice ride.  
> Song association is Always Gold, Radical Face.

_Magic Realm, 1984_

The cycle had to continue. In Aine's absence, of course, life went on in Magic Realm. Nothing seemed to change, even. It was a little quieter, Morgyn awoke without a sense of urgency, and, that morning, Ezio said there was less oppression in the air. Morgyn hated to admit that he was right, but, he was right. She was gone, and with her, those expectations of hers that Morgyn never seemed able to meet.

It always felt like Morgyn was a constant disappointment to Aine. Nothing the blond ever did managed to be correct in her eyes, or so it seemed. Morgyn certainly wasn't privy to Aine's inner workings, and there was likely something to be glad for, there. Morgyn would've died to hear, just once, that Aine was proud of the blond, but it wasn't a secret. Aine wasn't _proud_ of Morgyn. Simply, the little blond farmer from France was less grating than everyone else.

Aine had gone in a hurry, and there were a lot of her things still left in Magic Realm. It left Morgyn with quite a number of boxes to go through. None of these things meant anything to Morgyn, and Aine was gone now, and couldn't explain anything. Sometimes, Morgyn would reach into a box, and pull out bits and pieces of the Aine that was before, the Aine that Morgyn never knew, and now, never would.

Ezio always said that people were given the life they had, because they could live it. Morgyn honestly felt like the blond's life was a mistake.

The good news was that there was virtually no chance the All would choose Morgyn to replace Aine as the Sage of Untamed Magic. That was stupid. Ezio was the stronger of them, and, more impressively, Ezio had learnt untamed magic on his own through trial and error. Aine had refused to teach him, and Ezio had refused to learn from her. It was just as well. Ezio was always on about the darkness in Aine's heart.

The point wasn't whether there _was_ darkness in Aine's heart. Morgyn couldn't say if there was or not. The point was whether Morgyn could do anything about it on the off-chance there was, and most likely, no, probably not. Morgyn had very little influence with her at all, and lacking in the kind of influence needed, that was unsurprising, if disappointing. Still, it meant Morgyn was her last student, but Ezio was the one that had learnt best.

If anyone was going to succeed Aine as Untamed Sage, most would expect Morgyn to, but Morgyn's money was on Ezio. He was, without too much doubt, stronger than Morgyn anyway. It wasn't like Morgyn was privy to how, exactly, the All chose the next Sage. Perhaps the how ultimately didn't matter.

The stack of boxes on the balcony where Aine did most of her work was quite tall. Morgyn frowned, mostly unconsciously, staring at the stack. Cardboard boxes with lids, boxes full of files, stacks of papers, old-looking and quite detailed, probably antique, wooden boxes here and there, Morgyn had a lot of work to do. Simeon was getting upset about the mess Aine had left behind. Aine was good at leaving behind messes, Morgyn had noticed. Unfortunately, it was very normal for Morgyn to be the one cleaning up those messes. By now, the blond had gotten used to it.

Morgyn reached for another box, and felt a joint pop. Perhaps a break was in order. With that, Morgyn frowned slightly, and then stretched towards the glass roof over the balcony. Several more pops sounded. Ezio would likely say that, getting accustomed to cleaning up Aine's messes was a bad thing. Morgyn had simply accepted it as a part of life.

Morgyn wasn't sure what to do without her. Aine did a lot to soothe Morgyn's weird and stupid ideas of not entirely being female. "Of course you're female," Aine would say, with that no-nonsense tone. "You were born a girl. What else would you be, a duck?" She was right, of course. Morgyn couldn't be anything but a woman, and it was preposterous to think otherwise. Ezio never said anything against it, but Morgyn could see it in his eyes. He hated it when Aine backed up Morgyn's belief that it was stupid and senseless to try and be anything else.

Morgyn didn't understand. Maybe, Morgyn never would, and it was difficult to say whether that was a personal character flaw or an inevitability. No one understood Ezio the way that Morgyn did, and yet, even so, there were ways and times in which Morgyn didn't understand him at all. There were ways, and times, in which Morgyn loving him to incomprehensible levels wasn't enough.

Of course, Morgyn had never told Ezio, but there were times when Aine spoke against him, too. Aine said much the same. There was darkness in Ezio's heart, and maybe Morgyn would never be enough to save him from it. Did Morgyn believe that? Sometimes. _Sometimes_ , Ezio scared Morgyn. But the only time Ezio ever showed that scary face was when it was in defence of Morgyn.

Morgyn wasn't scared _of_ Ezio. Morgyn was scared _for_ Ezio. And all Morgyn could do was hope, that in the end, nothing came of it. Ezio was a beautiful soul, but he was also very fragile. Only Drake knew that better than Morgyn did.

Morgyn released a sigh, one hand reaching out, prodding one of the boxes. It promptly lost its balance and crashed to the floor, throwing papers and trinkets all over the stone. The blond squeaked slightly, drawing back, and then loosing another sigh. Now there was a literal mess to deal with, too. And Morgyn had no one else to blame for it.

"Hey," a voice came from behind. Morgyn turned around to face Simeon, who was smiling just slightly. "How goes sorting things?"

"I just knocked over a box," Morgyn said, tone slightly drawling.

"Oh… well, uh, if you want a break, I just made coffee."

Morgyn blinked in surprise, and then smiled a bit. "Yeah, that sounds nice, thank you." Keisha and L. had spent the last six years ignoring Morgyn existed. It was nice at least one of them wasn't avoiding the blond. Ethren didn't avoid Morgyn, more… seemed to feel pity, or something. Morgyn didn't need pity. Morgyn needed a friend.

"Cool, well, it's uh, downstairs of course," Simeon said, gesturing towards the stairs and backing that way himself. "Come down whenever."

"I will," Morgyn answered.

Simeon looked a little awkward, turning down the hallway and walking off. And then, he turned back around, walking back past the archway with a sheepish look on his face, as he headed the right way to get to the stairs. Morgyn tried not to look too amused as he went.

Ezio had probably beat guys like him up for money once. Morgyn sighed, took one last look at the stack of boxes and papers, and stood up. No time like the present.

* * *

Spellcasters tended to be, how you say, _forgetful_. It was quite easy for them to forget that magic realm was not, in fact, their home. One would figure Ezio would be glad for this. It meant dozens of magical folk now had a place they were comfortable, and could be themselves. That was great and all, but Ezio _really_ wished they'd learn to put their books back on the shelves.

Of course, some of those that came to Magic Realm forgot they'd even borrowed a book from their shelves in the first place. Plenty of tomes had gone missing over the years, and Ezio was probably the one that knew the precise count of books that had gone missing since the 1800s (1,322). Ezio tried not to be annoyed by it, but was it really so hard to just put the books back on the shelf? One would _think_ that Ezio was asking for a miracle.

Eh, maybe he was.

His head tilted to one side, looking for the place on the shelf where the handful of books in his arms went. Ezio tisked under his breath, and then found where one of them went, slid the book into place, and moved on. There was a very large gap on one of the shelves now. Ezio had discovered, a few days ago, that all of their books on vampirism were missing.

Who on earth had any use for the entire collection of books about vampirism, that Ezio didn't know. Clearly they had some use for them, as every dang one was gone. Really, it was sort of perplexing. Ezio was very curious to know who took the collection and what for, but he supposed he'd never know. That'd just have to remain a mystery.

Several of the books in his arms went here. Gently, he slid them into place, making sure not to damage any of the covers. Ezio was probably kinder to the book collection at Magic Realm than he was to anyone or anything else. Save, perhaps, his boyfriend, and Morgyn. Oh, and, Ezio was rather kind to Drake, too. Some wondered why. Drake was a vampire, but Ezio had made him that way. Granted, it was an accident. Drake got himself seriously hurt blowing up a potion, and Ezio panicked.

The problem with magic when you were panicking, it was very hard to control, and Ezio wasn't trying to control it, anyway. He just didn't want Drake to die, and that was the magic's answer. It turned out, now he couldn't die at all, and it was Ezio's fault. It took Ezio and Morgyn _forever_ to figure out the potion that freezed ageing, but Ezio was determined. He cursed Drake with living forever. He'd live that with him.

Fate had other plans, though, as often it did. The peace they'd found together, the family they'd built with one another, these things were impermanent. Ezio was still impermanent. He couldn't say how he knew. He just did.

Ezio released a sigh, setting a few more books on the shelf where he knew they belonged. Strangely, as he pulled his hand back, his fingers brushed against a book beside one he placed on the shelf, and it felt like electricity shot through his hand. Even more strangely, he wasn't repelled by that sensation, but rather found himself interested to know _why_ it'd happened.

For a moment, he simply stared at the book. It wasn't a book that stood out, for sure. The cover was a basic leather-bound type, a rich brown in colour, ridges on the spine, but otherwise had no other markings on it. Ezio set the rest of the stack of books he had to return to the shelves onto the floor, at his feet, and then reached out, gently sliding the leather-bound book off the shelf. Before he knew what he was doing, he was leafing through the book, but, he quickly found himself faced with sigils and letters that he'd never seen before.

Many of these books were hundreds, if not _thousands_ of years old, and many of these books were also enchanted. There was a whole collection on the ground floor of books that were enchanted to only be able to be read by someone that was supposed to understand it, and what force decided whether someone was meant to understand something, that Ezio never figured out. Ezio's motto was, never trust anything if you didn't know how it could think.

It'd seem, this book wasn't meant for him. With that in mind, he gently closed, it and slid it back onto the shelf. A breeze from nowhere kicked up the moment his skin was no longer in contact with the leather, and just slightly, Ezio heard whispering.

_\- need to know -_

_\- take it back -_

_\- you are the key -_

_\- they are coming._

Ezio looked around, trying to find the source of these whispers, his eyes glancing from one side to the other. Then, just so, distantly, he could hear it. A piercing, melodic cry, the sound of it making his heart twist in pain. It wasn't a melody he'd heard before, a simple one, but somehow it sounded so heartbroken. His hands came up, balling into fists and pressing against his chest. He remembered the stories, of those that heard a grating screeching somewhere in Magic Realm. No one knew where from, but some heard a song.

Ezio turned around, searching the sky through the window. The swirls of colour and speckles of stars gave nothing away. The melody sounded again, from everywhere and nowhere at once, so much pain in its song, and then the whispering grew louder, and something sounded with a loud _thunk_.

He whirled around, just in time to catch the tail end of the leather-bound book falling off the shelf and hitting the floor behind him.

_\- take it -_

_\- yours -_

_\- TAKE IT._

Everyone knew there were spirits in Magic Realm, that had remained bound to this world. Maybe they knew something he didn't. Ezio looked around one last time, before one hand reached down for the book. As his hand touched the leather again, the cover shimmered, and strange, circular sigils burned themselves into the leather front. He recognised some of them, but he didn't remember where he'd seen these before.

It seemed he'd need to go looking for those sigils again. The sigils may have answers to what was in this book, and why, exactly, it was so determined to stay with him.

* * *

Aine had gone, and with her, the Sage of Untamed Magic. It was only a matter of time, then, until the All selected a new one, and L. was quite sure of who, exactly, would be chosen to replace her. Of course, L. believed that for a long time. Keisha had said as much, and L. never questioned her mentor's prophecies, particularly the ones Keisha didn't remember telling.

Getting Morgyn to believe the All would select the blond as the next Sage, that might yet be a little more difficult. No, that wasn't the problem, was it? The real problem was getting Morgyn to _accept_ it. It went without saying, of course, that Ezio would support Morgyn in anything, and replacing Aine as a Sage was merely one of the things that fell under the header of anything. As long as Morgyn's doubt remained, doubt that L. strongly believed Aine herself put in Morgyn's head, the blond would never truly be able to take Aine's place. But, that would be what the All decided. No one else would be good enough, because they wouldn't be Morgyn.

L. hadn't spoken to Morgyn in _years_. Aine was a little too much of a problem for L. and her mentor, Keisha. Keisha never explained what was wrong, and Ethren had gone to a lot of lengths to shield Simeon from the whole ordeal, but it was quite clear Aine was into things she shouldn't have been. Magic wasn't so simple as good or bad. Rather, it was all shades of grey, but there were things one shouldn't do no matter how grey they thought it was. Interfering with free will was one of those things.

Keisha and Aine had mutually decided to avoid one another. Sparks flew every time they were in the same room. Whatever spirits spoke to Keisha never did like Aine, and Aine didn't like the threat that Keisha posed. L. was much the same. L. was one of Morgyn's peers, to make matters even more dire, and had influence over the blond that Aine couldn't. Had L. chosen to, she could've eventually turned Morgyn against Aine, with or without Keisha's help.

It was for the best, but it did make this situation a little awkward. L. stood by one of the chairs on the balcony Aine had claimed as her own. All the Sages had their own areas of Magic Realm's headquarters that they claimed, this was nothing new. The boxes and boxes of Aine's things that Morgyn had been combing and sorting through for the last several days since her disappearance _were_ new. Apparently, Aine had placed a spell on them, so that they remained in the in-between, rather than taking up physical space in the Realm.

This worked, right up until Aine was gone, and the magic went with her.

For a moment, L. simply watched the blond go through the boxes, and then cleared her throat. Morgyn started slightly, dropping the books that were in one hand, and jerked around to look at L. "Oh."

L. snorted in amusement. "Well, don't sound _too_ glad to see me," L. said.

Morgyn looked a hair annoyed, in the eyes, but smiled anyway. "Sorry, yes, it's nice to see you. How are you?"

How was she? L. was practically having a party now that Aine was gone. She'd taken the oppressive edge out of the air, too. "Fine," L. answered. Telling Morgyn, who had loved Aine like family, that L. was pleased as punch now that she was gone, _probably_ wasn't good for negotiations. "How are you holding up?"

Morgyn blinked, turning back toward the boxes, and then stood up, brushing the dust off dark jeans, turning to face L. properly. "I've been better," Morgyn answered. "Strange that you're here, though. I would've figured you'd be partying somewhere."

Oh. Was L.'s excitement that obvious? Perhaps Morgyn knew her better than it seemed like. "I'm worried about you," L. said, resting one hand on her hip, shifting to lean a bit more on the back of the chair. "You and Aine were very close."

"I suppose," Morgyn said. "But there are things that are over now, and that time is one of those things. No sense dwelling on it. It just makes you bitter and angry."

"So it does," L. replied. "You'll be the next Sage, you know. We should try to get along, I think."

Morgyn snorted in disbelief. "Me?" Morgyn asked. "No, I won't. You've absolutely lost it."

"Please," L. replied. "Who else would the All choose but you?"

"Ezio," came Morgyn's immediate answer.

"You mean you hope beyond hope that it's not you," L. said.

Morgyn didn't answer with words, but the look on the blond's face made it clear enough.

L. sighed, glancing away for a moment, before purple eyes returned to green ones. "Becoming the next Sage may be your destiny, you know. There's a reason Aine favoured you as much as she did."

"I don't believe in destiny," Morgyn answered.

Well, that made two of them. Keisha didn't, either, and L. inherited it from her. So what was Morgyn's excuse? "Have you figured out who you are?" L. asked, instead.

Morgyn's head tilted to one side in confusion. "I'm Morgyn," was the flat response. "Who else would I be?"

"That's your name, yes," L. said, her weight shifting, hand raising off the chair so she could examine her nails, currently a dark, shiny purple. "But your name isn't who you are, not really. You're not quite female, anyway."

"Of course I am," Morgyn said, green eyes rolling. "What else would I be?"

L. snorted again, looking exasperated. She shouldn't have expected any other response. Of course that was what Morgyn replied with, and in Morgyn's position, maybe L. would say the same stupid things. It wasn't Morgyn's fault, and L. knew that. It was what it was.

"Now that Aine's gone," L. said, "it's time to get her out of your head, and remember how to listen to yourself."

Morgyn looked annoyed, but L. didn't leave the opportunity to push the matter, turning on her heel and heading back to her basement. The first step, after all, was merely planting the seed. It needed time to grow.

* * *

Something had changed a moment ago. Ezio frowned slightly, more to himself, setting the leather-bound book of many mysteries down on the table. He stood up, shuffling out of his room and down the stairs. Magic Realm had been home for so long, it was hard to imagine ever having another one, but someday, maybe he'd try making it somewhere else. For now, Morgyn needed to stay here, and Ezio wasn't far behind.

As he unlatched the door and headed outside into the slightly warm air, he realised what was different. It took a few moments more to find her, but when he did, he smiled brightly and ran over to her. "Lilith," he said, "I wasn't expecting you."

"It's sort of a surprise," Lilith answered, smiling in return. Wordlessly, she reached out and pulled Ezio over in a hug. "I heard about Aine. You must be in a good mood."

"Yes and no," Ezio answered, hugging her back. She smelled distinctly of some kind of flower, but Ezio never figured out which one. Morgyn smelled of valerian, he'd decided, but that was _probably_ because Morgyn spent way too long hanging around the valerian plants. "Morgyn's a depressed wreck, of course."

"Naturally," Lilith answered, separating to look at him. Lilith was defensive of the Embers, like they were family. Very distantly, they thought they were, but it was hard to say. Neither the Embers or the Vatores had spent a notable amount of time tracking their bloodlines, and that was all hundreds of years ago now.

"I'm glad Aine's gone, though." Ezio always said Aine would ruin Morgyn, and funny enough, he turned out to be right in that statement. The truly tragic part was that Morgyn seemed to have no idea how much damage Aine had done. Either Morgyn didn't know, or didn't care, and Ezio wasn't certain which was worse.

"So am I," Lilith agreed. "Maybe now, Morgyn can heal a little."

Ezio nodded. "With any luck," he answered. "Though knowing Morgyn, it'll just get shoved in a proverbial box and left to collect dust." He couldn't win that.

"Well, maybe you can heal, at least," Lilith answered.

Ezio made a face, looking very confused. "I don't need to heal from anything."

"Oh really? You know, you and I could start a club," Lilith argued, "it's called the 'I gave up most of my life for my stupid sibling' club. Not a great club, actually. The meetings are boring."

Ezio snorted, shaking his head. "I didn't give up my life for Morgyn."

"Do you hear yourself right now?" Lilith asked. "You've only stayed in Magic Realm all your life because Morgyn had to stay, prevented yourself from murdering Aine when you should've because Morgyn liked her, put all your feelings on hold indefinitely because Morgyn's always came first. You know, if I didn't know any better, I'd think you're Morgyn's keeper or something."

Ezio's expression flattened. "I think you're being dramatic."

"Am I?" Lilith asked, her head tilting slightly. "I love Morgyn, don't get me wrong, but I love you too. So which one of you do I be angry with? You for treating yourself like crap, or Morgyn for letting you?"

Ezio made a noise, features screwing up in amused exasperation. "Morgyn doesn't let me do anything."

"Of course," Lilith answered. "But Morgyn doesn't stop you, either."

"Things are fine," Ezio said. "And with Aine gone, it'll feel a lot less like I need to be paying way too much attention to Morgyn anyway." The things Aine put into Morgyn's head were _something_ , and Ezio didn't like a damn one of them.

"I guess," Lilith said. "Just remember that you can't bury your issues in Morgyn's and call it good enough. You can't fix you by fixing Morgyn. Okay?"

"Fine, okay," Ezio said. Whatever made her feel better. Ezio didn't think there was anything to be concerned about. He dealt with his issues, it was merely that he did it much slower. His problems weren't as pressing, that was all.

"Hey, you know, things have changed a lot in the normal world," Lilith said. "Technology and medicine in particular have progressed a good deal."

"Is that so?" Ezio asked.

"Yes," Lilith answered. She fidgeted for a moment, rocking a little on her heels. Ezio didn't like to talk about his health, but Ezio was a delicate, somewhat sickly person. Lilith could smell it, when something went wrong, but she didn't know _what_ was wrong. There was the chance that modern medicine had answers that the vampires didn't.

"I just, thought I'd mention it," Lilith went on. "They may have answers that the vampires don't."

Ezio snorted softly. "Last I remember of medicine and doctors, poison was being sold as a remedy."

"Yes, but that was a long time ago," Lilith said. "Look, I know it'll take some time before you're really comfortable with the idea, but medicine's different now. They have a much better understanding of how things work, and there are medicines that they make themselves now."

"Oh, that really makes me feel better," Ezio said, snorting.

"Ezio, listen to me," Lilith said, taking Ezio's shoulders. "If there is… even the slightest little chance that they have answers, that they can _help_ you, don't you want to try? Maybe you still won't have forever, but maybe they can help you feel better and do more things that you love to do. You could _dance_ again, really dance."

Ezio took a breath in, lips parting, and then grey eyes fell to the grass under them. Mist swirled around their ankles. He remembered, when he used to dance. The sheer control over his own body he'd had then, how enthralling it was. Because, back then, he had control over so very little. None of it mattered when he was dancing. He could move any way he wanted to. Push himself as hard as he felt like. It was something Jean couldn't take away from him.

"I'll think about it," Ezio answered.

Lilith smiled softly, reaching up and ruffling waves of black. "If you do decide you want answers," she said, reaching into a pocket and handing him a card. "Go see this person. She can help you."

* * *

The weather never did change here. When they first came here, Ezio had found it strange, but he'd gotten used to it. Nowadays, Drake didn't feel the weather anyway, so it wasn't any more strange than anything else. Morgyn didn't seem terribly bothered by it, either, so as usual, it was just him. He loosed a sigh, looking up at the stars. The day and night cycle was different here. Who knew if it was actually night?

"Did Lilith come up?" Ezio asked.

"Yeah," Morgyn answered. "She helped me with probably more boxes than I could've gotten through on my own this week."

"That's nice then," Ezio replied. "She seemed oddly distracted, was she like that with you?"

Morgyn glanced at Ezio, and then shrugged one shoulder lightly. "Lilith barely ever seems anything to me," Morgyn said. "But maybe a bit upset about something. She didn't tell you anything? She tells you everything."

"Not everything," Ezio argued. "But she didn't mention anything, no."

"If she didn't tell you, I won't feel bad she didn't tell me."

Ezio snorted, looking back up at the stars. She seemed more concerned about talking to Ezio about modern medical advancements. Ezio hadn't mentioned that to Morgyn, _or_ Drake, for that matter. It was probably something one or both of them were going to argue with him about, and he was having a hard enough time arguing with _himself_. It seemed like such a terrible idea, but maybe…

"Oh, L. came up, too," Morgyn said, jarring Ezio's thoughts.

"Really?" They hadn't spoken in years now, it seemed strange L. had suddenly changed that. On the other hand, if Ezio remembered, that was _also_ Aine's fault. One of the things that were Aine's fault Ezio had never told Morgyn about. There were some things about Aine that, if Morgyn knew, would break the blond's heart. Even if it would've ostensibly been for the best to tell Morgyn about these things, Ezio didn't like seeing Morgyn hurt, for any reason, and ultimately couldn't.

"She seemed pretty sure I'm going to end up Sage of Untamed Magic," Morgyn admitted quietly.

Ezio looked away from the stars, giving Morgyn a side glance, then looking ahead. "She's probably right."

"But you're stronger than me," Morgyn said.

"Am I?" Ezio asked. "I can barely stand up some days, Morgyn."

As always, at mention of that, Morgyn visibly recoiled and winced slightly. Ezio released a sigh, moving around in front of Morgyn as they both came to a stop.

"I know you don't like to think about it," he said. "But it doesn't change reality. I may magically be stronger, but physically, I am much weaker. That's not a very good quality in a teacher and guide. But you, you've got enough energy for us both."

"I can't _teach_ , Ezio," Morgyn said.

"And why not?"

"I have no patience!"

"You did just fine teaching me Necrocall," Ezio pointed out.

"That's different! You're you!"

"So pretend everyone is me."

"But everyone is not you," Morgyn answered, sounding perplexed, as if the blond couldn't fathom why he'd even suggest that.

"Oh for the love of god." Or the love of whatever higher power there was. A sigh escaped Ezio's lips, as he raised a hand to his head. "You'll do just fine," he said. "Remember why you wanted to stay here in the first place. It's possible that maybe, _just_ maybe, there are others that feel the same way. Morgyn this is home. And we all have to do what we can to protect it, or we're going to lose it. If that means being more patient, I think you can do it."

"What if I can't?" Morgyn asked.

"The All wouldn't choose you if it didn't think you could, Morgyn," Ezio answered.

Yes, well, the All wasn't exactly privy to what was in Morgyn's heart. The only reason Morgyn loved Magic Realm so much was because this was where Ezio was. Because here was where Ezio came back to Morgyn, where they finally found peace. Morgyn didn't _deserve_ to be the next Sage. Sages weren't so fucking _selfish_.

And yet, what was so wrong about being a little selfish from time to time?

"L. said something weird," Morgyn said, looking down at the grass.

"Did she?" Ezio asked. Obviously Morgyn didn't want to talk about being a sage anymore, and Ezio could play along. There were things in Morgyn's head that needed to come out, sometimes. Ezio always just played sponge and absorbed them, sometimes pointed out ways Morgyn hadn't thought about them.

"She seems to think I'm not female," Morgyn said. Then, the blond laughed a little. "That's preposterous, isn't it? What else would I be? You don't think I'm not a girl, right?"

Ezio arched one eyebrow upward, lips parting in mild surprise. And then he drew in a breath. "I've literally not called you 'she' since we were _nine_ , Morgyn," he said. "Of course I don't think you're a girl."

"But if I'm not a girl, then what am I?" That didn't make any sense. You were one or the other, right, you couldn't be anything else. There _was_ nothing else to be.

"Morgyn," Ezio said. "I think you're Morgyn."

Morgyn stared at him, for a long moment, in confusion and Ezio could see the beginnings of panic in those green eyes.

"No, no," he said, taking Morgyn's hands. "Look, it's fine if it doesn't make sense right now, okay? It doesn't have to right away. You can take the time and think about it, see how you feel about it, you don't need answers now."

"I just-"

"I know, I know it's weird, I mean what else is there besides male or female anyway, gender is stupid but that's another argument, Morgyn listen to me, you're just you. And there is nothing wrong with you."

"There's a _lot_ wrong with me," Morgyn argued, and Ezio could hear the tears in the words, "I feel like a _freak_."

"Morgyn, you're not a freak," Ezio said. "You're _you_."

"And me is so great," Morgyn said.

"Of course," Ezio said. "You're my twin. And I love you just the way you are, quirks and all."

"I think this is a bit beyond a quirk, Ezio."

"I think it just makes you different, that's all. There's nothing wrong with different."

Morgyn blinked. The tears spilled over, and Ezio smiled, reaching up and brushing the tear track away.

"How do you always know what to say?" Morgyn asked.

"Because, I'm part of you, I guess?" Ezio said. "Or because I've just known you all your life, something like that. I love you. I always will." Even now, he would always fight for Morgyn, even if he was fighting Morgyn.

"I love you, too," Morgyn answered, sniffling. The blond's head tilted down, watching their hands together. And then, a bright orange light came alive under them, and Morgyn loosed a quiet surprised gasp. Ezio did too, letting go and backing away. He knew what that was.

The light became brighter, swirling into a circular pattern with strange sigils in the design. As it became a column of bright, orange-red light, Ezio had to squint one eye closed and look away for a moment.

"NO!" Morgyn shrieked, as the light died.

"Morgyn, don't fight it," Ezio said.

"I don't _want_ it!" Morgyn answered.

Ezio sighed, reaching over and taking Morgyn's hands. "Remember what I just said," he said softly, tapping his forehead against Morgyn's. The blond huffed, but started to calm down. "I believe in you, Morgyn. I always have, and I always will."


	3. Dreams of Loneliness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun trivia, I live on the wild side, and I don't edit my crap before I post it. So this is the raw, straight out of my head insanity that ya'll get. Clearly it's decent because I've not gotten tomatoes thrown at me at least. Hahahaha. Poor Morgyn. I love you Morgyn.  
> These chapters also have associated songs. This one's is Dreams, Fleetwood Mac.

Caster's Alley was always a bit of a flurry of activity. Some came just to watch other spellcasters get into duels with one another (and friendly duels in Caster's Alley were fairly common), but it kept it feeling alive. Ezio wasn't as outgoing as Morgyn was, but he did like to know there were other people out there. It helped for not quite feeling so alone, and Ezio often did.

As he headed for the shop he was after, he passed a few spellcasters he recognised. Each one got a nod of his head, perhaps a smile for ones he really liked, but he tried not to show favouritism that way. He and Morgyn had been in magic realm probably the longest out of everyone here. They were like mayors without any of the power, but Ezio was alright with that. He didn't like power, on principle. Ezio was quite happy to stick to managing himself and not worrying too much about other people. That was so much responsibility, and Ezio _hated_ the mere idea of it.

Managing just himself and fretting about Morgyn was already more than enough.

He stopped behind someone talking to the vendor he needed, not too close, grey eyes glancing around, gently blowing some of his wavy black hair out of his face. He wasn't in a hurry, after all, Morgyn was probably doing Sage things by now. On the other hand, Morgyn really _wasn't_ all that patient, and maybe Ezio should be on stand-by to… throw ice at the blond when it inevitably became too much. On the other hand, Ezio couldn't bail Morgyn out of _everything_ forever, as tempting as it was to try. Sooner or later, Morgyn had to learn to swim without him.

As the person in front of him turned and left, Ezio stepped up to the counter with a soft smile on his face. "Good morning," he greeted. It was surprising Caleb was here, again, but he did tend to help out with the shops in Caster's Alley. There was a barrier around magic realm, protecting it from non-magical folk. Usually, that meant vampires, but Caleb and Lilith had dormant magic in their blood, and the barrier let them through.

Which, of course, they both used as an excuse to be helpful.

"Hey Ezio," Caleb answered, smiling slight in return. "What's on the list today?"

"I need some sage and mandrake," Ezio replied, "if you'd be so kind."

"Your mandrake's not doing so well?" Caleb asked, but he turned around to find what Ezio asked for.

Ezio snorted. "It refuses to grow," he answered. "Not sure why. It's not like magic realm has -" It was sharply loud, the sudden piercing song, and barely, within its melody, Ezio could hear the sound that others described as a shriek. He startled, grey eyes darting around. Now that he heard it again, it almost sounded like it wasn't just one voice, but several. Then he turned back to Caleb and smiled.

"You okay?" he asked.

"I'm fine," Ezio answered. "I just thought I heard someone call my name." Admitting that he was hearing the singing, that was probably not a good thing to do. Most of everyone that heard the song eventually disappeared, and no one knew how or why. They were just… gone.

Ezio didn't have any strange ideas of figuring it out and solving the mystery, but if he could learn something useful before he went, maybe he could pass it on to Morgyn and… maybe it'd stop happening.

"Hey, did Lilith happen to tell you what she's up to?" Caleb asked, setting the sage down in front of Ezio.

"She's up to something?" Ezio asked. That was news to him. As far as he knew, Lilith was just helping Morgyn with the junk on the balcony. If one asked Ezio, it could all be thrown away. Or launched into the in-between forever, fuck Aine.

"Hmm, yeah," Caleb said. "Or it seems that way. Forgotten Hollow's a bit shaken up, too, but I can't say why. They don't tell me anything."

"You're a cuddly little marshmallow, Caleb, of course they don't," Ezio answered.

"You're the king marshmallow, you know," Caleb replied, setting the mandrake down.

Ezio made a face, but reached into his pocket and handed Caleb enough to cover both. "I feel like that's Drake, actually." Drake was the one that taught him how to love. That it was okay to not always be an immovable object, even if it felt like he should be.

Caleb considered that for a moment. "Yeah, I guess so," he answered. "Hey, how's he doing anyway?"

"He lives at headquarters with the rest of us," Ezio answered. "You could always come see for yourself."

"That requires taking those freaky-deaky teleporting archway things," Caleb answered. "No thanks."

Ezio started to reply, but he heard something behind him that caught his attention.

"- where Aine went," someone was saying.

Ezio looked at Caleb, and then nodded at them, took the sage and mandrake, and shuffled off to sit on one of the benches. It was easy for him to blend in. He didn't stand out. Wavy black hair, grey eyes, glasses, and he didn't even own any clothes that weren't black or grey. No one could call him a loud presence. He was, however, somewhat tall.

"Everyone knows Morgyn's ambitions," someone else said, as Ezio settled down on a bench and looked like he was occupied with something else. "Why, I wouldn't be surprised if Morgyn _wanted_ the Sage position and did something to make Aine vacate it."

"Or she just _left_ ," someone else argued. "Aine isn't known for being terribly concerned with others. If she found something more interesting, she'd certainly go for it."

"Of course, Aine could've easily passed that to Morgyn, too."

"Morgyn's got Ezio," someone said. "Ezio would never let Morgyn do something so sketchy."

"Ezio can't follow Morgyn everywhere all the time. He could've missed something."

Well, that much was true. Even Ezio had to admit to that one.

"Remember what happened to Aine's mentor?" someone added. "Still no one's seen them since."

"Untamed Sages tend to disappear when they're replaced, anyway."

"Yes, but they don't often disappear _before_ they're replaced."

"It's none of our business. The All's already made its choice, and our job is merely to accept it."

"The All wouldn't choose someone of questionable character."

"It has before, remember the Mischief Sage from 1420?"

"That's a legend, no one believes that happened."

"Shit, that's Ezio," someone whispered.

"Is anyone else having trouble finding witch hazel?"

Great. They did give him a lot of information, though. It wasn't surprising to find out that these were the things everyone else was thinking. Now, though, he had to hope none of these rumours got back to Morgyn. The blond was already having a hard enough time with being Sage now, and had several more panic fits over the last few days. More, most likely, were incoming, and Ezio didn't need that adding to the problem.

He stood up, heading for the destroyed bridge. "Thank you," he said, as he passed the cluster of gossipers, and walked through the archway.

* * *

Louder than usual, Ezio stalked into headquarters, set the sage and mandrake down on the coffee table with a loud _bang_ , and very softly, snarled. Drake, sitting in one of the leather chairs nearby, reading a book, lowered the book to arch one eyebrow at him. Icy blue eyes, slightly glowing, looked a hair worried. Ezio never did that unless something was really bothering him, and anything that was enough to bother Ezio was quite something.

Either that, or it had something to do with Morgyn. Ezio never did stop trying to protect Morgyn from damned near everything.

"That doesn't sound terribly happy," Drake said, closing the book and setting it on the table beside the herbs.

Ezio's lips tilted to one side, and he released a long breath. "Not terribly," he answered. And then, Ezio looked up at Drake, bright platinum blond waves framing his face, eyes glowing softly and reflecting the light from the fireplace, the soft orange light notable against his pale skin, and he felt that pang in his heart like he always did, and looked back down at the table. Drake always did make him feel funny, and Ezio liked to think he didn't know why, that he hadn't thought about it, but he had.

Eventually, he sat down on the couch. "Sorry, just overheard a conversation in Caster's Alley," he said.

"I take it they didn't say anything good?" Drake asked.

"Apparently there's a rumour going around now that Morgyn did something to make Aine leave. Because presumably, Morgyn wanted the Sage position. You know, Morgyn almost had a _panic attack_ when the All made its choice. Morgyn didn't want it."

"I know that," Drake answered, head tilting to one side. "I guess no one else does."

"Well, now I have to hope that rumour doesn't get back to Morgyn, or I'll have to deal with _another_ freak-out and I'm running out of freak-out allowance."

Drake looked thoughtful for a moment, and then somewhat sad. "You can't stop people from talking," he said. "Eventually, Morgyn will hear it."

"Sure I can," Ezio said under his breath, his arms crossing over his chest as he fell back against the couch. "If I kill them all, they won't say anything at all."

"Ezio," Drake said, eyes slightly wide.

"What? I didn't say anything." Of course he didn't. And certainly, he didn't say that.

Drake released a sigh. There were times when he wondered about Ezio, but it was only ever when it had something to do with Morgyn. But of course, Ezio had lived almost his entire life so far protecting Morgyn. It was no wonder he didn't seem to know how to do anything else.

"Oh!" Ezio said, sitting back up with a slight gasp. "I know! I'll just make it out like _I_ did it!"

"Did what?" Drake asked.

"Made Aine go away," Ezio said. "If it was me then it can't have been Morgyn and the rumours will stop!"

"That'd just make it worse," Drake said. "If it gains traction and mutates into the wrong kind of rumour, you'll have killed her."

"So?" Ezio wasn't saying he _wanted_ to have killed Aine anyway, but that was beside the point.

"So," Drake started, "then you'll have done a very bad thing and probably have to answer for it, and then Morgyn wouldn't have you anymore. Over something stupid, no less. I don't think Morgyn can handle that, right now."

Ezio huffed, falling back against the couch again. For the record, he wasn't pouting, either. "I guess," he said. "Why are you my reason, anyway?"

"Because," Drake said, "only one of us can think when it comes to Morgyn."

Ezio sighed, one finger tapping rapidly against his arm. "I think what scares me the most is, those rumours might be right," he said softly. "Even if it wasn't for the reasons they think, Aine was abusive, and Morgyn is too free of a spirit. Sooner or later, Morgyn would've snapped. I can't say for sure that it wasn't Morgyn."

Drake released a breath. He hated to admit it, but Ezio was right. "Just like you snapped?" he asked.

"Yeah," Ezio answered. "Just like I snapped." The difference, of course, was that Ezio didn't kill Jean, just pissed him off. There was no telling whether Morgyn _had_ killed Aine or not. Ezio didn't want to believe it, but even without all that, Ezio knew there was darkness in Morgyn's heart. There always had been. And Ezio was never enough, to make it go away.

But Ezio was, in general, never enough. It shouldn't be surprising to him.

"I suppose we'll never know," Drake said. "I don't imagine Morgyn's going to tell anyone that anytime soon if it happened."

"I guess not." Ezio liked to think that was something Morgyn would tell him. But then, that would also require, if it went how Ezio thought it did, admitting that Ezio was right about Aine and Morgyn had spent a long time defending her. It was a bit jarring to suddenly have it flipped around, and Morgyn often didn't take very well to sudden massive changes.

Never mind that, Aine meant a lot to Morgyn. It was even harder to accept it when someone you cared for and looked up to wasn't as amazing as you believed. Ezio could understand that very well, probably better than Morgyn thought, but there were things neither of them ever said to the other.

"Hey," Drake said, leaning forward in his seat. "You can't fix everything. And I think this is one of those things Morgyn has to go through without you. Had to realise independently. It's not easy to deal with things like that."

Ezio knew that. And Morgyn was sometimes the kind of stubborn that rejected things others said merely because the blond didn't want to know it, didn't want to see it, and had to come to the realisation that it was true over time. Ezio just hated seeing Morgyn hurting. That was probably a personal problem.

"Whenever Morgyn's ready," Drake said, "you can talk then. But for now, just be here. There are things Morgyn can't do without you, even if you don't seem to do anything. And right now, I think Morgyn needs you more than ever before."

"I know," Ezio said, sighing. "It's just hard to watch Morgyn struggle and not be able to do anything."

"Oh, I know," Drake answered. "But I think if Morgyn really needs you, you're the first and probably only one that'll know."

No one knew Morgyn like Ezio did, just like no one knew Ezio like Morgyn did. He supposed it stood to reason. "How are you doing, anyway?" Ezio asked. He hadn't had the chance to ask for a while.

"Me? Fine," Drake answered. "Kassander and I are working on mist teleporting."

"Vampires can do that?"

"Sure," Drake said. The Essairs are really good at it, actually. Sandalio can stay in mist form for a long time. I'll learn to do that later, maybe, but first I have to get going into mist form down."

Ezio smiled a little. "You'll get it, though."

Drake turned just the slightest bit pink across the nose. Ezio thought it was the most adorable thing he'd ever seen, and smiled a little brighter. Drake smiled back, and Ezio had to stop himself from standing up and - and what? Ruining his life? As if he hadn't already done that.

"I should uh," Ezio started, taking the sage and mandrake off the table and standing up, "go make this potion probably. Why Mrs. Hannigen can't just make her _own_ potions, I don't know…"

"You make good potions," Drake answered.

Ezio smiled in embarrassment. If he said so. "I'll talk to you later?"

"Yeah," Drake said. "Good luck with the potion."

Ezio may need it, honestly. Though he was in a good mood now. But Drake always did put him in a good mood.

* * *

The scent of coffee was strong, and comforting. Morgyn drank coffee mostly because the aroma was very pleasant, even if making it wasn't always. Morgyn stood off to the side in the kitchen, listening to the water gurgle in the coffee pot. It was a simple drip system, but it was decent enough for what they needed it for. It was just there to make sure Morgyn didn't murder anyone in a fit of impetuous rage.

The morning routine kept some stability in Morgyn's life. It was a ritual that let Morgyn wind down and get ready for the day. Spending time talking to Ezio often had a very similar effect, but it was probably because it was Ezio. Few others had the ability to tolerate Morgyn's quirks long enough to have a real conversation. Of course, it'd go a lot better if Morgyn had any idea how to express anything that was in the blond's head. Ezio understood without anything being explained, and Drake usually could make logical jumps and figure it out, too. Maybe the problem was that Morgyn hadn't had to really _express_ anything to anyone in so long, the blond had forgotten how to make anything make sense to someone that wasn't Ezio or Drake.

Was that a bad thing? Surely Ezio didn't want to spend forever making sense of what was in Morgyn's head. The only person Morgyn knew to ask about that, though, wasn't terribly nice herself. Of course, Morgyn never knew L. to be _mean_ , not really. Many considered her to be, but in Morgyn's experience, she was just honest, and the truth, sometimes, had barbs. And, of course, sometimes she was a bit bluntly honest.

Okay, she _was_ a _little_ mean, but she usually meant well.

The coffee maker hissed and stopped dripping water. Morgyn reached over, sliding the two coffee cups on the counter closer to the coffee maker, and pouring both. One cup got two sugars and a cream, and the other, two sugars and no cream. Morgyn waved a hand, and both stirred themselves, and the blond took both and shuffled off towards the purple room L. tended to hang around in.

"Good morning," Morgyn greeted.

L. looked up from the cauldron, curious to hear Morgyn's voice. They still didn't _exactly_ get along, but they didn't hate one another, at least. "Good morning," L. replied, somehow managing to keep the confusion out of her tone.

"Two sugars, one cream," Morgyn said, holding one of the cups out to L.

L. looked surprised, taking the cup. "Thank you," she said. "Odd that you remember how I take my coffee."

"I did actually listen to you when you squawked, you know," Morgyn said, smiling slightly. "It's just strange that you and Keisha stopped talking to me. Did I say something?"

No, it wasn't Morgyn that said something. It was Aine, but, L. wasn't certain that Morgyn was ready for that information just now. Instead, L. shrugged. "Keisha had me pretty busy there at the end. I think I just lost track of time."

"You came across me on the bridge upstairs and purposely turned around and went back downstairs and used the stairs on the other side," Morgyn said, an eyebrow arching upward.

"Okay, well, maybe we were avoiding you," L. said. "It's not for you to worry about right now. The past is the past, right?"

Yes, normally, Morgyn would agree with that. Right now, it felt like there were things in the past that Morgyn didn't understand and _should_. Ezio tended to change his wording, make things sound like something they weren't to make Morgyn feel better about it, but L. would be as blunt and honest as Morgyn wanted. L. would tell the truth.

One thing at a time.

"I suppose," Morgyn said. "There are just some things that stick and some that don't, as well, even if it's really nonsensical what sticks and doesn't. I remember how you take your coffee, but, not something I said five minutes ago."

L. snorted loudly. That was the most relatable thing Morgyn had ever said. "That's true enough. Well, since you're here, you're welcome to stay."

"Thank you," Morgyn said. "How are you doing?"

L. thought about that for a moment, and then shrugged. "Simeon's freaking out about some of the books being missing, so I've had a day. I haven't killed him, though."

"I don't think you could," Morgyn said. "He's annoying, but he's ours, right?"

L. let out a short laugh. "I guess he is. So, what are you actually here for?"

Morgyn looked a bit surprised, and then snorted softly. "I can't want to talk to you?"

"No one subjects themselves to my presence if they don't want something," L. replied. "I'm not exactly the sort of person you sit down and do manicures with while talking about cute boys."

Okay, well, if L. was going to say it that way, then, Morgyn was not going to argue. She was the one that said it. "Maybe you're the only one being remotely nice to me right now." As sad as it was, besides Ezio and Drake, she was. Simeon seemed afraid of Morgyn for some reason, but then, Morgyn wasn't deaf. The blond had heard the rumours.

Were the rumours right? Maybe they were. Maybe they weren't. Morgyn wasn't saying anything about whether they were or weren't, because it was better not to say anything incriminating. Aine wasn't dead, though. She may yet come back.

Sometimes, Morgyn wished she would. Other times, Morgyn was glad she was gone. What did that even mean?

"If we're in a situation where _I'm_ the nicest person you know, you need better friends," L. said.

Morgyn tried not to laugh, but snorted lightly anyway.

"See, that's better," L. said. "Now, what are you really here for? Come on, I'll get it out of you one way or another. I have tricks."

That much was true. Morgyn's eyebrows raised, and the blond drew a breath in, taking a sip of coffee. "Well, you said something about now that Aine's gone, I need to get her out of my head," Morgyn answered.

"Uhuh?" L. asked. "Go on."

"I… I don't know how," Morgyn said. "She's always been the voice that I listen to."

"Ah," L. said, pausing a moment to take a drink of coffee and set the cup on the fireplace mantle. "You need to relearn how to listen to yourself."

"I don't even know what I sound like anymore," Morgyn said.

L. went quiet, looking at Morgyn. Morgyn tried not to squirm under her intense, violet gaze, but L.'s look was intense in general. She had several earrings, lavender hair cut so that the front was longer than the back, a septum piercing, several bracelets, bold purple makeup and black lipstick that went very well with her dusky skin tone… L. was beautiful, if one asked Morgyn. Thankfully, no one had.

"How do you feel, right now?" L. asked.

Morgyn wasn't expecting that question, and blinked once, twice, weight shifting in confusion. How _did_ Morgyn feel right now? Morgyn wasn't sure right away. "Well, kind of nervous, I think," Morgyn said, gaze shifting to the ceiling. "Been nervous since the All… a little worried, because now I won't always be there if Ezio needs me. He's got Drake, though, and I'm trying to trust that. I think I'm also a little excited. I didn't want to be sage, but, since I am, I guess I may as well find something good in it."

L. smiled slightly, and then crossed her arms. "Congratulations," she said. "You just listened to yourself."

* * *

Ezio always seemed to wake up just before the sun came out. Or at least, whatever that bright thing was in the sky. It was hard to say that was a sun. He sat up in bed, shook raven waves into place, and then got out of bed. Softly, he could hear the eerie melody echoing outside the walls. He hadn't had the time to sift through the mystery book, but he should take the time soon. It was probably enchanted that way, but it felt like it was pulling him to it.

He dressed, detangled his hair, and then headed out into the hallway. As he closed his door, Morgyn came out of the room across the hallway, blond waves a mess of tangles, pulling a plaid shirt on.

"Good morning," Ezio greeted.

"Hi, gotta go, bye," Morgyn said in a rush, bolting for the stairs.

"Wait, you're barely dressed," Ezio argued.

"No time!" Morgyn said. "I'm late!"

Ezio frowned, reaching over and grabbing Morgyn's hand, making the blond stop and look at him. "No," he said. "Simeon and L. are always late for everything. I'm not letting you get a head-start on driving yourself into the ground."

Morgyn looked annoyed at him, eyebrow arching, glancing back towards the stairs.

"Let me fix it," Ezio said.

Morgyn glanced between him and the stairs a few times.

"Please?"

"Oooh, fine," Morgyn said, deflating slightly.

"Thank you," Ezio said, pulling Morgyn into his room. Wordlessly, he grabbed a comb and his jar of coconut oil, sitting Morgyn down beside the bed. Ezio sat down behind the blond, and started working the oil into the blond waves. "I've never seen you so concerned about how others see you before."

"I am not," Morgyn argued.

"Is that so?" Ezio asked. Morgyn had just almost bolted down the stairs half-dressed, but Morgyn wasn't concerned about that.

"Okay, maybe I am a little."

"It's okay to care, you know," Ezio said. "Just remember, no one's judging you quite as harshly as you're judging yourself."

"If you say so," Morgyn mumbled.

Ezio laughed slightly. "I think I like this side of you."

Morgyn loosed a snort. "I don't," Morgyn said. "I'd rather not care what anyone thinks. It's less exhausting."

"You'll get used to being a Sage," Ezio said, working the comb into the tangles. "And then it won't matter so much. But right now, you want to make a good impression, so you're pushing yourself harder than usual."

Morgyn's lips twitched. "I was going to ask how you know that, but I guess I know how you know that."

Ezio laughed quietly. "It's my job," he said. "I'm supposed to know things about you that you really wish I didn't."

"I'm sorry," Morgyn said quietly.

"What for?" Ezio asked.

The blond loosed a sigh, head resting on a knee. "For being a giant bitchmonster sometimes. For being so easily confused. For needing you so much."

"That is also part of my job," Ezio answered. "I'm glad you still need me. I figured a few hundred years ago you'd have stopped."

"It's not good for you," Morgyn said.

Ezio drew in a breath, grey eyes glancing at the glass above his bed. It gave him a reason to live, but he wasn't going to tell Morgyn that. "It isn't _bad_ , Morgyn."

Morgyn went quiet, but Ezio could almost hear the blond thinking. Sometimes, Morgyn went quiet and people seemed to think of it as the blond being closed off. In Ezio's experience, Morgyn was just thinking about something, maybe too hard.

"How are things with Drake?" Morgyn asked eventually.

Ezio was a little surprised to hear the question. It'd been a while since Morgyn had asked about how things were with Drake. Like they were _dating_ or something, but they weren't. "Just fine," he answered.

"That's it?"

"What else is there? We don't hate each other or anything, haven't been fighting either…" Ezio wasn't sure what Morgyn was looking for. Well, no, never mind. Morgyn was probably _really_ asking…

"Have you told him?"

Ezio's shoulders dropped, and he paused in combing for a moment, then released a sigh. "Of course not."

"Why?"

"You know why."

"And I don't like it."

Well, life was full of things someone didn't like. "It'd be pointless," Ezio said. "I'm seeing someone anyway."

"So what?" Morgyn asked.

"What do you mean _so what_?"

"I mean so what," Morgyn repeated. "You're not exactly _happy_ with Jackson." And Morgyn would be quite happy if he just disappeared. Actually, come to think, Morgyn wondered if it was possible to trap someone in the in-between…

"I'm not _unhappy_ ," Ezio said.

"I'd rather you were happy. You're _never_ happy with any of these boys you start dating. You'd be happy with Drake."

Would he? It sounded so easy when Morgyn said it that way. But things weren't so simple between them. Ezio hadn't ever told Morgyn what happened in France. Ezio probably never would. There were things that Morgyn didn't need to know, and that was one of those things, because everything Ezio had lived through at that time, it was for Morgyn.

He'd do it all over again, if he had to, but Morgyn didn't understand.

Drake was both someone Ezio cared for very much, and someone Ezio was, even now, slightly afraid of. He tried not to let it show, because Drake didn't need to know that he was. That, sometimes he looked at Drake and saw Jean. He hated himself for it.

"There's no _point_ ," Ezio said.

"There's always a point to your feelings, Ezio," Morgyn said.

"Morgyn, honestly," Ezio said. "I'm just in his _way_."

"Oh Ezio," Morgyn said, tone sad. "No you're not, you're the one that gives him his strength."

No. Morgyn might think so, but their relationship couldn't be made so oversimplified and romanticised. That was a reality Ezio had accepted a long time ago, and maybe there was a part of Drake that resented Ezio too, for showing up one day and flipping his whole world upside down.

There were so many things about France that none of them had ever said. He had a feeling, sooner or later, those things would up and bite them all in the ass.

"I still have Jackson," Ezio said.

"And right now you're just using Jackson as an excuse," Morgyn said. "Is this why you keep dating everyone _but_ Drake?"

"Even if I'm _not_ in Drake's way, it doesn't stop me from feeling like I am. Like I'm holding him back from something, I made him a vampire for fuck's sake, now you want me to demand that he love me, too?"

"But he already does-"

"Just stop," Ezio said, flatly.

Morgyn did go quiet, though looked a little sadder. The only person that Ezio was standing in the way of was himself. But getting him to see it was proving more difficult than Morgyn had anticipated.

* * *

Morgyn had done it once before. Listening to what was in the blond's heart, rather than what Morgyn knew Aine would say, that is. It was a difficult habit to break. Every time Morgyn tried to hear the little voice inside that was _Morgyn_ , it was always Aine that came out instead. Morgyn was sick of it, really. That was what had driven Morgyn to ask L. of all people how to get Aine out of the blond's head, but no matter how much Morgyn tried, pacing around the blond's bedroom, it was still always Aine that Morgyn heard.

Of course, the only time the Aine voice in Morgyn's head silenced was around Ezio. But Morgyn couldn't keep using Ezio as a crutch that way, either. Ezio couldn't be constantly expected to make everything better, even if he did. He always talked about himself like he was a temporary, impermanent thing. Like someday, he could just up and go away, and Morgyn was always so terrified of him doing exactly that. Without Aine, _and_ without Ezio, Morgyn didn't know if the blond could make it.

Ezio liked to pretend that Drake didn't love him, and that he didn't love Drake, but Morgyn knew better. Drake would be just as lost without him as Morgyn would. Some might say that would be a grand thing to bond over, that they could help each other, but it wouldn't be the same. Feeling the same pain didn't necessarily make that pain go away.

Ezio was the better part of Morgyn. Everyone said it, and Morgyn knew it was true. There was darkness in Morgyn that only Ezio's light could keep from taking over.

Ugh, Morgyn wasn't good at inner reflection. No one had said anything about it recently, the whole not being entirely female thing, but Morgyn had been thinking about it, maybe too hard. Morgyn didn't understand it very well, and Ezio _said_ it didn't have to make sense, but Morgyn didn't _like it_ when things didn't make sense. It was hard not to obsess over it, when they didn't.

As Morgyn paced around the room, fingers tapping rapidly on either leg, the blond glanced at the dresser, and the mirror that was sitting on that dresser. And for a moment, Morgyn got caught up in staring at the person looking back from it. It felt like, for the first time, Morgyn actually _saw_ it, the reflection in the mirror. Something in Morgyn's chest squeezed and did a cartwheel, and nothing felt right. One manicured finger raised and tapped against Morgyn's nose, following the curve of the bridge. The blond could see Ezio there, in the lines of Morgyn's face. The two of them really _did_ look an awful lot alike. Morgyn wondered if looking like this caused Ezio as much trouble as it did Morgyn.

Even if it did, it wasn't as if Ezio would tell.

Green eyes cast down to the floor. In one swift movement, Morgyn moved over to the dresser, and turned the mirror face down on the wood. Whoever that person was, it didn't feel like Morgyn. It didn't feel _right_. That might well be what L. meant, of course, but Morgyn didn't know how to figure out if it was or not. Aside from outright _asking_ L., and Morgyn had mixed results from talking to L. directly.

What did it mean if you felt like you were in someone else's body? When Morgyn was younger, and Ezio wasn't here, people often accused Morgyn of trying too hard to be special. "There's nothing special about you," they'd say. "You're just like everyone else."

Maybe Morgyn was just like everyone else, but the blond had never _felt_ like it before, and didn't even now. If anything, even just L. questioning whether Morgyn was a woman or not, and Ezio agreeing, had managed to make Morgyn feel even _less_ like everyone else.

Ezio never had used gendered pronouns with Morgyn before, huh? The blond hadn't honestly thought about it before, but he was right. He hadn't called Morgyn 'she,' or anything else, in so long, Morgyn hadn't realised just how long. That was almost impressive, given they were French, and the Latinate Romance languages sure did love gendering random things.

Morgyn shuffled over to the bed, heavily falling onto it. It wasn't like Morgyn could _change_ anything. It was either that Morgyn was female, or looked terribly female and insisted on being called he. What else was there to be called, anyway? Were there other words? Maybe insisting against using pronouns at all would work, like how Ezio didn't use them, but he had to word things weirdly sometimes to avoid calling Morgyn by a pronoun. Asking others to do that, it seemed unfair and like too much.

And yet, that was the only way Morgyn was truly comfortable. When people just didn't use pronouns at all.

No. No, no, no. Morgyn would just put this craziness back out of mind and not think about it again. It wasn't like Morgyn hadn't spent the last few hundred years being a woman anyway, and yes, maybe it was somehow always so uncomfortable and strange, like a glove that went over your hand but didn't quite _fit_ , but Morgyn had gotten over it once, and could get over it again. Ezio would insist on thinking about it, or at the very least, still wouldn't use pronouns. No, L. would be the one that insisted on thinking about it, shove it under Morgyn's nose at every turn.

What did it fucking _matter_ how Morgyn felt, though? It wasn't like Morgyn could suddenly become not a woman anymore, and trying to make sense of it all was maybe just an exercise in futility, raising hopes that ultimately were just going to be let down.

Ugh. There was time to think about this later. Or maybe Morgyn would never think of it again and pretend that the conversations with L. and Ezio had never happened. That seemed far more likely.

Yes, that was a better idea. That decided, Morgyn smiled slightly, and stood up, heading downstairs. It was about dinner by now.


	4. Work It Out With My Charm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's Gonna Be Alright, Basixx

Straud Manor was always a bit of a foreboding sight. It wasn't as if Lilith was _afraid_ of the place, it just seemed a bit harsher than it needed to be, a fortress of secrets, just like the one who lived within its walls, if one could call this living. Lilith took a breath in, watching the lights through the windows. Vlad didn't even know what utilities _were_ , and stuck with good old fashioned candlesticks for lighting. Lilith was fairly sure he didn't even own a bookshelf to pass the time. That sounded rather boring, if one asked her. Thank the stars he never did.

Lilith flicked her black hair, straight and to her mid-back in length, over one shoulder, walking purposefully up to the door. As often it did, when Lilith reached the door, it opened on its own before she had a chance to knock. He loved to do that. Lilith thought he was corny.

She let herself in. The door closed behind her on its own, too, and Lilith walked through the foyer and into the living room. Vlad was, as it turned out, not there. She heard a quiet cough from upstairs. "Up here," Vlad called. Lilith turned up towards the sound of his voice, and then shuffled to the staircase, following it up to the next level.

He seemed to be writing something. Lilith knew better than to ask about what it was, because Vladslaus was not a very open person to begin with. Instead, she settled down in a chair nearby.

"You're awfully early today," Vladislaus said, toned off-handed, but Lilith never knew him to say anything he didn't find important in some way. He was an odd person to get used to. Caleb had a lot more trouble navigating his nuances, but then, Caleb was also a little bit easier to frustrate than she was. Lilith had virtually no emotions to speak of. When she had an emotional reaction to something, it was quiet, dim. Like it was barely there at all, as if someone _else_ was feeling it. Some found it unnerving. Lilith found it greatly useful, because it meant when something important happened, she was far more capable of thinking rationally. Caleb was the one that reacted emotionally.

The older sibling was born first, to protect the ones that came after.

"Caleb's run off somewhere," Lilith said, crossing her legs in her seat. "I figured I'd see how you're doing." Vladislaus was an odd character, liked to sit back and watch the flames rather than bother attempting to put them out, but it was just as well. One might see this as wanton, needless destruction, but Lilith thought, _aside_ from it being amusing to him, he was, in his way, teaching. As Lilith had learnt the hard way, the only one that could always be there when one needed somebody was yourself. It was better to teach someone to protect themselves, than to always be there to save them.

"He never stays in one place, does he?" Vladislaus asked. Lilith could tell, by the tone of his voice, that he didn't frankly care, so she didn't answer. "Miss Hell and Kat Cave have been awfully absent of late," he said.

Lilith snorted. "You know Miss Hell's rather ambitious," she replied. "Well, annoying more like."

"You should try to get along with her, Lilith," Vlad said.

"I have," Lilith answered. "She has no interest in getting along with me, and I have to admit, my personal interest drastically fell around the second or third sentence she said to me."

Vladislaus snorted, closing the book he was writing in and setting the pen down on the desk. "You girls always did confuse me," he said.

"Count yourself blessed that you're confused," Lilith grumbled.

Vladislaus went quiet, watching the fireplace from the balcony. After a long moment, Lilith said, "something feels wrong." Like something was changing, something big.

Vladislaus snorted. "Of course," he said. "That's because things are changing."

Lilith waited a moment for him to elaborate, but he didn't. Lilith tilted her head. "What do you mean?" she asked.

"What else would I mean, child?" Vladislaus snapped. "I mean, things are changing. That's what things _do_ , they change."

Lilith tried not to sigh too loudly. Vladislaus was never very good at saying what he meant. One had to word things in a very specific way, if they wanted a specific answer, Lilith knew this. It'd been too long since last she'd spoken with the grand master, it'd seem, because she'd seemingly forgotten it.

"Do you know what's changing?" she asked. That might do it.

Vladislaus seemed annoyed, shooting her a glance, but then he turned back to the fireplace. "There is a storm coming," he said. "What I don't know is, who will still be standing by the end of that storm. For the sake of Forgotten Hollow, and everyone in it, I do hope one of them is you."

A storm was coming, he said, like that made sense of everything. Lilith figured he meant the figurative sense of the word storm, of course. Perhaps a conflict between vampire covens. There were several of them, quite large and powerful ones, even. If Vladislaus felt like doing so, he could've made a coven out of Forgotten Hollow and its denizens, but he was… not terribly into people, much less leading them. His tolerance of her presence right now was almost surprising.

Still, that last part confused her, and she frowned slightly to herself, one hand raising to her lips. "Why?" she asked him.

Vladislaus glared at her. "If you haven't figured that out yet, you're a greater idiot of a child than I first thought you were," he said, and then, before Lilith could respond, he stood up and burst into mist. Lilith released a sigh, turning to the wall, resting her hand on the armrest and her chin in her palm. Vladislaus was sure annoying to deal with sometimes. Still, he was her sire, and as grating as he was, she needed him.

It wasn't like he was the only one that could teach her to master her powers as a vampire. He was just the most easily accessible. Lilith released another sigh, and stood up. She may as well go home. He'd be in a sour mood for a few hours.

* * *

"Again." The frustration in Morgyn's voice was almost palpable. Not far away, L. and Ezio were watching, as Morgyn at least attempted to walk another spellcaster through successfully casting an Inferniate. It was, of course, Morgyn's speciality (whenever someone got to casting Chillio for the first time, Ezio would likely need to help with that).

"What am I doing wrong?" the spellcaster asked.

Morgyn snorted softly. "That's for you to figure out. Now, again."

The spellcaster glanced at L. and Ezio, and then sighed, and tried again. While the young woman, dusky skin, bright blue eyes, and tightly-curly dark brown hair, managed to produce a burst of flame, it didn't sustain, and spluttered out.

Morgyn groaned in annoyance. "You're still not doing it right."

"Knowing what I'm doing _wrong_ would help," the woman answered.

"What do you _think_ you're doing wrong?" Morgyn asked.

"I don't know!"

The sound of frustration in her tone managed to make Ezio wince. L. glanced towards him, but he still stepped forward. "Alright, what Morgyn means is that you're trying too hard to make it a _big_ burst of flame, but fire needs to be left to be whatever it will be," he said.

Morgyn, however, unleashed an annoyed shriek, spun on one heel, and stalked off.

Ezio winced again. L. rolled her eyes, waving a hand to tell Ezio to stay, and turned to follow Morgyn. The blond moved up the stairs to the balcony, where Morgyn often was anyway, and rather immediately knocked over a stack of boxes.

Morgyn was rather prone to such outbursts. Only Ezio seemed to have any luck, preventing them. Of course, L. wasn't Ezio. Only he had a way of telling someone everything they were doing wrong without being a jerk about it.

No one had ever said L.'s name and the word 'kind' in the same sentence before, however, and that wasn't about to change now.

"You're being a complete and utter insufferable _asshole_ ," L. said, walking out onto the balcony. "I do hope you're aware of that. Want to talk about it?"

Morgyn snorted. "No," was the flat response. "I'd rather be left alone."

"Well it's either you talk to me, or you talk to your brother, and you know how delicate he can be," L. said. "Unfortunately, I don't think he's got the ability to push you, and right now I think you need to be. You've got just a little more attitude than I typically find to be tolerable, but that's okay, so do I. Talk to me."

Morgyn was quiet for a moment, then reached one leg out and slammed it into the side of another tower of boxes. It crashed to the floor. "There's nothing to talk about." That was Morgyn's story, and the blond was sticking to it, and L. could be a bitch about it if she wanted.

"Like hell," L. answered. "I can sit here badgering the fuck out of you until you talk to me. You and I both know your patience will eventually wane. I can get under your skin, nothing to it. Actually, you're quite easy to irritate, you might want to work on that."

"Don't you have anything better to do?" Morgyn asked.

"Of course not," L. said. "Mischief and mayhem are part of the job description. Irritating the Untamed Sage sounds like quite viable mischief and mayhem to me. Hey, maybe you'll set something on fire, I do so love random fires, all the chaos. Mmmm."

Morgyn's eyes closed for a moment. "You could sound just a little less pleased with that."

"Why?" L. asked. "Isn't it fun to you? The thrill of imminent danger, the potential for everything to go wrong, the rawness of not knowing the outcome for certain? No? Just me? Alright."

Morgyn turned slightly, giving L. a look, and then went back to watching the water. The sound of it was calming, and right now, it would be best if Morgyn calmed down. Ezio was far better suited to this.

"The only thing I can think," L. said, walking towards the balcony railing, clasping her hands together in front of her, "is that there's some _purpose_ to being an unmitigated bitch. What I can't figure out is what that purpose might be."

Morgyn's gaze glanced the other way.

L. tisked. "Of course," she said. "You know, it's almost like you're _purposely_ being a terrible teacher. I'm not sure why that'd be, either."

"Isn't it obvious?" Morgyn asked. "If I'm not good at this, then the All has to rescind its decision and choose someone else."

"Oh, dear I don't think that's how that'll turn out," L. said. "The All knows what's in your heart, Morgyn, probably far better than you do. The All knows everything. They say the All was created by volur, the practitioners of the art of weaving the future. There's likely very little, about you and your path, the All does not know."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" Morgyn asked. "Because honestly, it's just a little creepy."

"Of course it is," L. replied. "You've never learnt to let anyone but Ezio even this close. But there is always something that understands, Morgyn, even if it's not great at being good company. You're never alone as you think you are."

Morgyn was quiet. L. recognised it, the same as Ezio always did, when Morgyn was thinking deeply. L. found the process fascinating, how Morgyn could be totally silent, and yet so very loud.

Morgyn's weight shifted. "I don't want it to take him away from me," the blond said, softly.

L. tilted her head in curiosity. "You don't want what to take who away from you?"

"This Sage thing," Morgyn answered. "I don't want being a Sage to take Ezio away from me."

"Why would you think it'd do that?" L. asked. And she was genuinely curious. Morgyn's fears, though sometimes objectively silly, were important. It was another important piece to learning to listen to the voice inside.

"He can't follow me," Morgyn said. "And I can't always follow him. There'll be a lot of time we're apart, now. We both have other things to do, and I don't know if he'll be here tomorrow."

"Oh please," L. said, huffing. Morgyn looked a bit hurt in those green eyes, but L. didn't mind it. She hurt people, sometimes, but in hurting, they listened. "Right now you're being ridiculous. Anyone can go away at any time. Tomorrow is never, and will never be, a promise, you know that as well as I do. Sometimes, bad things happen. You can't sit down and refuse to move because something _might_ go wrong, or because the inevitable reality is that we're all human and humans _die_. We don't live, Morgyn, because we're alive. We live because someday, we won't be."

Morgyn was quiet again. Eventually, the blond released a sigh. "I should apologise to Stella, huh?"

"And perhaps Ezio," L. said. "It's somewhat unkind of you to use him as an excuse not to reach for your greatest potential." L. turned and went back towards the stairs. Morgyn, however, released another sigh. She was right. Morgyn was starting to learn that L. often was.

* * *

Very softly, Ezio could still hear it, that mysterious song that seemed to come from nowhere and everywhere at once. He still wasn't entirely certain what it was, but by now, he didn't believe it was malicious. He'd been wrong about things like that before, but he could feel it in his heart. Whatever it was, it was good, and it needed help. Why it'd chosen him, he didn't know. It wasn't as if he could ask it.

Ezio was quiet, but Drake kept glancing at him. Eventually, Ezio sighed. "What?" he asked.

Drake shrugged. "You just seem upset about something."

Sometimes, how well Drake could read him still managed to surprise him. He'd learnt all of Ezio's little nuances a long time ago, way back then in France, when Ezio was a stupid little boy, and Drake was his only friend. Gosh, he owed Drake his life many, many times over.

But there were times when, Ezio wasn't certain if he was glad for it, or if he wished Drake had let him die back then. Of course, Morgyn would be alone, maybe still stuck with only Aine for guidance, maybe without Ezio around, Aine could've done a lot more damage than she did.

Maybe the twin that remained would be a psychopath.

"Just thinking," Ezio said.

"Usually when you think, it's about something important," Drake answered, setting his book down in his lap. "What's going on?"

Ezio smiled slightly, glancing down at the wood floor. "Morgyn snapped earlier today. Seems to be having temper fits more often now."

"Morgyn's always having a temper fit about _something_ ," Drake said. "I don't think they're any more frequent than before."

"They feel like it," Ezio replied. "They feel more important, too. Like there's something really bothering Morgyn, but, nothing's ever said about it."

"You know Morgyn's like that," Drake said. "Introverted-extrovert, if that's even a thing you can possibly be."

It was a strange thought, for sure, but Ezio thought it was about right. Morgyn was so outgoing and enthusiastic, charismatic was the term, if he remembered right. And yet there were always things Morgyn never said, parts of the blond that were kept hidden away, sometimes even from him.

Ezio didn't always like it. But he supposed, he wasn't meant to, and it didn't matter, in this instance, what he liked or didn't.

"I know," he said. "It's just, something's bothering Morgyn and I keep asking, but never get an answer. Morgyn rarely ever keeps _me_ out, too. I'm not blind. Morgyn always says there's nothing wrong, but I can see it." He wasn't sure where to start, what it might be. It was possible that it was absolutely nothing, like Morgyn said, but Ezio was well convinced it was important. Maybe L. had said something again. Unsurprisingly, L. was quite good at messing with people's heads and making them think, and that wasn't always a good thing.

"Unfortunately, sometimes, Morgyn needs to do things without you," Drake said. "Maybe this is one of those things."

"Maybe," Ezio said. "I'm just really worried, that's all."

"As you always are," Drake said. "I know that's just something you'll do, too, worry about Morgyn. But you can't make all of Morgyn's problems your own."

Ezio snorted softly. "That's just how it works," he said. "Morgyn's problems are my problems."

"I understand there's always going to be an Ezio that exists where Morgyn does," Drake said quietly. "But there has to be an Ezio that exists where Ezio does." The stress, honestly, couldn't be good for him. They'd already seen what Ezio being under too much stress did, it wasn't anything good, and Drake _hated_ it.

Ezio looked confused for a moment, but then the light dawned in those grey eyes, and he nodded slightly, turning towards the floor in thought, the light shimmering in the blackness of his hair. Ezio was one of those people that was hard to look at, and also hard _not_ to look at, or at least, he was for Drake.

"I guess," Ezio said. "It's just habit now, I guess, to think about it, worry too much about Morgyn. What's my day if I haven't worried about Morgyn, I guess."

Drake smiled sadly. "That's my point."

Ezio knew it was. If their roles were reversed, if _Drake_ was the one with the slightly-chaotic sibling, Ezio would probably be telling him the same thing. He didn't know how to stop, how to step back and let Morgyn figure things out without him. They'd been together for so long now, and Ezio had always been so protective of the blond, it was difficult to change very old habits. Even if he could, Ezio wasn't certain that he wanted to.

Things were the way they were, or so some said. It was something like, nothing's really broken, so why bother changing? Change happens most of the time when something needs to be fixed, done differently, not _just because_.

But that was the fundamental difference, wasn't it? Drake saw Ezio's overprotectiveness of Morgyn as detrimental to him. Ezio didn't.

"Hey, try not to worry too much, either," Ezio said, smiling.

Drake snorted softly. "You and I both know that it's not that simple."

Yes, Ezio did know that. He still wondered, even now, hundreds of years later, he'd long lost count, why Drake cared. Maybe that was just going to be one of those many mysteries. Ezio cared about Drake, because he -

"If you ask enough, maybe eventually Morgyn will crack," Drake said. "Morgyn always did have trouble saying no to you, particularly repeatedly."

Yeah… Embers were stubborn, but Ezio was also an Ember. Well, sort of. Ezio was really more of a snowflake than an ember.

"I guess so," Ezio replied. "I just hate pushing Morgyn if I don't have to."

"You also know what happens when Morgyn bottles feelings," Drake said. "As much as I hate to admit it, you're right, and Morgyn probably needs to talk, and I think you're the only one that can make that happen."

"Glad you have so much faith in me," Ezio said, laughing quietly.

Drake glanced down at the floor. "I always have," he said.

Ezio blinked in surprise, and then turned bright red. Ezio had never thought about it before, mostly because it was embarrassing to think about, but he supposed it was true. He smiled slightly, drawing in a breath. "I should uh, go see if I can find Morgyn, I suppose," he said. "Thanks for listening to me."

"Of course," Drake said. "And good luck with Morgyn."

Ezio snorted. He'd need the luck, he was sure. With that, Ezio stood up, but he only made it a few steps before everything went black. Drake shot to his feet, catching Ezio as he fell to the floor and breaking the fall. For a moment, he was quiet, resting his head against Ezio's chest and listening. His heart was doing that weird erratic fluttering thing it did from time to time. Gently, Drake reached down and picked Ezio up off the floor, carrying him to his room. That conversation with Morgyn would have to wait.

* * *

Ezio had run off somewhere, and Morgyn had a social function to go to. He'd been on bed rest for several days now, and he was always excited to get up and _do_ things once he was feeling well enough to move around, but Morgyn needed some help finding something to wear, and the only help was gone. Morgyn was glad he was feeling better, though. It was always upsetting when he collapsed like that, and the worst part was, they had no idea why or how to fix it more permanently. Drake did _something_ , and eventually made it level back out. He called it a form of mind control, whatever that meant, but Morgyn trusted him, especially with Ezio.

So, here Morgyn was, rummaging through dressers and the closet, trying to find something that'd work. Morgyn was so picky about fashion in the first place, it was usually Ezio going 'you're really cute in that' that made Morgyn decide to go with something.

 _Sure_ , Morgyn could go ask literally anyone else. L. and Simeon, for instance. Morgyn just didn't trust anyone but Ezio not to make the blond look bad.

Morgyn picked up one of the many sweater dresses the blond owned, stood up, and held it up in front of the mirror. No. The blond tossed that one into the 'no' pile, reached down and picked up another, holding it up. Not that one, either.

A frustrated noise escaped, and Morgyn tossed the second sweater into the pile of not happening, flopping down on the floor and leaning against the bed frame. Morgyn tried imagining something that Ezio would like. They were twins, and they'd been around each other for so long, it seemed pretty likely that Morgyn could just, channel the inner Ezio, or something to that effect. Was that a thing? It should be.

But, nothing came to mind. The more Morgyn thought about it, the blurrier the mental image got. It was almost like Morgyn didn't actually have any idea what the blond looked like. There was the light skin, the blond hair that fell to the middle of the back, just past the bra strap, the green eyes. Yet the details were all out of focus, blurry and hazy like they were of someone Morgyn had only seen on the street once or twice, buying wands in Caster's Alley, feeding the stray familiars.

Green eyes flicked up to the mirror. The blond remembered what happened the _last_ time Morgyn had paid too much attention to the Morgyn in the mirror. That Morgyn felt like someone else. Like someone that had tried too hard to be something they weren't. Ah, yeah. That sounded about right.

Morgyn released a sigh, legs crossing on the floor. Apparently, the blond wasn't too much of an expert in the subject of Ezio fashion. Ezio was _probably_ out there in Caster's Alley playing with the dog familiars or something, and like L. had _implied_ , at least, they had separate lives now. Morgyn couldn't keep leaning on Ezio. Sooner or later, there wouldn't _be_ an Ezio to lean on, if the last few days were any indication. Morgyn might hate it, but there was no sense trying to fight inevitability, either.

The blond turned to face the door. Through the glass, Morgyn could see Ezio's door across the hall. Maybe wandering through Ezio's closet would help for getting an idea of what Ezio would suggest than going through Morgyn's own closet.

Morgyn stood up, going across the hall, and into Ezio's room. It smelled just slightly of mint, tea, and fresh paper, though there was some kind of herbal tonic scent in the air, too. Morgyn's fingers ran across the wood of Ezio's dresser, smiled at the photos sitting on it, old memories. The time Morgyn had pushed Ezio into the creek behind headquarters, duelling one another on the island just up a ways, baking a cake for their birthday one year… Morgyn's heart squeezed, and the blond turned away, shuffling for the closet.

As Morgyn pulled it open, the scent of mint and tea got stronger, the scent that was distinctly Ezio. Maybe it wasn't mint and tea. Who knew? Most things in Ezio's closet, naturally, were white, black, or grey. Morgyn had once thought he needed more colour in his closet, but the muted neutral shades really did it for him, and the palette kind of set off his eyes.

Morgyn was into _red_. Of course. Why it couldn't have been green, that the world may never know. At least red and blond went well together, there was that to be glad for. (Morgyn had set everyone that might say the blond looked like a Christmas tree on _fire_ by now, so such comments no longer occurred.)

Black was definitely Ezio's colour. Morgyn was fairly certain the blond couldn't pull black off. Just for fun, though, Morgyn pulled the red shirt the blond was in off, and squirmed into one of Ezio's black turtlenecks. Morgyn smiled slightly in amusement, and then turned around and looked up at the mirror over Ezio's dresser. The smile dropped. Morgyn turned back around, shrugging the grey blazer that went over it on, and looked back towards the mirror, and for a moment, forgot how to breathe.

It felt oddly correct, in a way nothing else had before. It was closer than before, at least. It still felt a bit wrong, but also very right. That was probably the most frustrating part. Morgyn didn't hate it, but also did and did not like it. Certainly, the blond wasn't as annoyed with it as Morgyn was with the huge amount of red and _frilly_ , it was kind of amazing how much _lace_ Morgyn owned.

Morgyn turned to the side, and frowned. Then, the blond pulled the turtleneck tighter, causing Morgyn's chest to go a little flatter. Oh. Morgyn frowned for a moment or two, thinking. And then the blond scurried back across the hallway, rummaging through the dresser. Morgyn pulled the turtleneck up and wrapped a scarf, relatively tightly, around the blond's chest, making it go even flatter. The turtleneck was pulled back down into place, and Morgyn looked up at the mirror, and turned to the side.

L. and Ezio were right.

There was no time for that right now. Morgyn frowned again, at the eyeliner and red lipstick, but Morgyn didn't have the time to fuss with it. It looked fine. Morgyn huffed, and then scurried back out and down the stairs. It was time to go, and Ezio would just have to deal with Morgyn borrowing one of his shirts.

* * *

The problem with being sick in magic realm, no one knew what was wrong, or how to fix it.

Ezio had been sick for a long time now, since not long after coming to magic realm in the first place. Things had seemed fine, and though he had some weird reactions to certain things, he was just like everyone else. Then, one day, it felt like something was trying to escape his chest, and he passed out. Drake always maintained that his heart became a rapidly beating, frantic mess, and he didn't understand why. Neither did anyone else.

It wasn't that magic didn't have the _ability_ to heal. Anything was possible with magic, Ezio and pretty much every other spellcaster believed that. The issue was that they'd never had a _reason_ to learn _how_.

Ezio had started playing with the idea of using magic to heal, had even figured out how to encourage a speedier natural healing process to heal scrapes, cuts, and minor burns, but he hadn't managed anything more complicated. It didn't help that Ezio had no idea what he was fighting. Something was wrong with his heart, that was all he knew, and he'd already learned, quite quickly, that it was difficult to fight 'something.'

Every time he thought about it, there was this sense of dread in the pit of his stomach. The sense that, he might be gone much sooner than he'd like. Of course, he could get hit by lightning or crushed by a meteor tomorrow, so it wasn't as if anything changed, it just felt like something did.

Even in fearing it, he did recognise that what he really feared was the unknown, was uncontrollable circumstances, of leaving Morgyn and Drake when they still needed him, not death. (Did Drake need him? That was a consideration to ponder some other time.)

For the first time in two hundred years, at least, Ezio stepped through the portal just outside magic headquarters. As he stepped out on the other side, in a small, sleepy village he didn't know the name of (something to do with shiny water), he was immediately aware that it was awfully cold, and then he saw the snow falling.

Ezio couldn't help it. A sudden breath released, as he smiled slowly but brightly at the sight and sound of the snowfall. Magic realm was always the same, it was difficult to track the seasons, but, as it turned out, it was white and cold and _winter_. He held his arms out, spun around slightly in the cool air. After a moment of enjoying the crisp air and watching his breath hang in front of him before vanishing, Ezio followed the pathway from the portal.

There were strange things he'd never seen before. There was a boat on the other side of the… was this a creek or a river? Ezio didn't know. The boat had something square-shaped and red and white on it, and Ezio wondered what that was and what it was for. There were tall black coloured poles with fires at the top, but he wasn't sure how the flame burned in the inside of those glass containers. If you cut off a fire's air source, it usually burnt out. The air smelled strange, like smoke and not. Ezio wasn't sure how to describe it, even in his own head.

Ezio smiled as he walked, taking in the sights, breathing in the fresh air, enjoying the brightness of the real sun, no matter how hidden behind clouds it may be. He wanted to stay forever, but, no. He had somewhere to be about now, and the trouble with being gone from this world for so long was, he hadn't the faintest idea where he was.

He supposed, he could ask someone, if he happened to find someone that knew how to get where he was going. There must be some sort of place that counted as a community gathering location, somewhere the village folk went when they were bored and wanted to blow some money. (People did still _do_ that, right?)

That thought in mind, Ezio moved forward through the snow. There were bridges over the water, the creek-river moving so rapidly that the water didn't have the chance to freeze. The snow made a soft hissing sound as it swirled around and fell to the ground. Some of the fires on the dark poles made strange buzzing sounds. He wasn't quite sure what for, but he supposed he didn't have to understand it.

Ezio liked to understand things. It made them easier to deal with and accept for him, and he was always curious anyway. Most of his outward curiosity, Jean had killed it, but there was still a little boy in him somewhere that had never stopped asking what, why, how? Just because he'd stopped listening to that boy and his incessant questions, it didn't mean he wasn't there.

Sometimes, though, understanding the semantics of something, it took all the fascination and _magic_ away from it. Sure, things could be understood, no problem. With enough time and research, observation, critical thinking, you could come to understand damned near anything, Ezio would bet.

But the thing about it, and the massive difference between Morgyn's approach to logical understanding and Ezio's, was that Ezio thought that, sometimes things weren't meant to be understood. They were meant to be _experienced_. Or… maybe it was the nigh consistent sense of his own imminent death that made him feel that way. Like he had to go out and _do_ things rather than just read about them in books and somehow convince himself he learnt something. He loved books, of course. But books weren't life.

That was a house… that was also a house… Ezio found himself admiring the masonry on the stone bridge as he crossed it, hearing the buzzing sound from the fires on the poles, the wind kicking up and howling slightly. If you listened to it long enough, it really did start to sound like wolves. He kept walking. There was another house. He wondered if he'd know a community space if he saw one. It'd be a shame if this little village didn't even have a _library_. You knew your little village was _extra little_ when you didn't even have a library, for shame.

Ah, there over the hill was another building, and it seemed to have some kind of sign in front of it. It didn't _look_ like a house, though he wasn't sure what all that blank space was around it. Well, no matter. Ezio took a breath in, and trudged a little more determinedly. Someone had to know how to get where he was going.


	5. Got Me Going Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is like a third me being sad, a third Morgyn, Drake, and L. being exasperated, and a third Morgyn looking fly af.  
> You Make Me Sick, P!nk

This didn't have what he was looking for, either. Ezio released a sigh, tossing the book he'd been reading onto the table. So far, he'd been through about half the books about different languages that he could find in headquarters, and none of them seemed to have the information he was looking for. None of them had writing anything _like_ the mysterious leather-bound book that insisted on staying with him. The only consolation was that he'd not had any trouble from it.

The idea of asking Simeon for help did cross his mind. Aside from himself, Simeon knew the books very well, too. There might be something that Ezio was missing, and having a second set of eyes, and a second brain, was helpful at times like these. Simeon might ask questions, though. He did that sometimes, and Ezio wasn't sure if he was ready to be answering those questions. He barely had answers to it himself. On the other hand, if he never started asking questions himself, he'd never get answers, and if he never got answers, then he'd never figure out what it was the book thought it wanted. He'd debate the semantics of whether or not this book was capable of thinking some _other_ time. In the meanwhile, he had a mystery to solve, and he had no clues to work from.

The idea of telling Morgyn about this had crossed his mind more than once. He and Morgyn were a pair for a reason, of course. They thought similarly, and yet differently, and having Morgyn around to bounce ideas off of would likely help his creative process, but Ezio didn't want to worry the blond, either. Morgyn had plenty of other things to worry about right now, that was perhaps asking too much. Or perhaps Ezio was being overprotective again, that was possible, too. Ezio didn't how to not be protective of Morgyn, though. Maybe he couldn't.

The black haired man released a sigh, and slid down in his seat, his hands dropping into his lap. Ezio was running out of ideas. He needed some kind of guidance because he wasn't getting anywhere on his own, but thus far, the mystery leather-bound book had been silent. Maybe he wasn't meant to understand right this second, maybe it was waiting for something, but Ezio was a curious type, and the trouble with Embers was that they so very rarely had any caution. They tended to dive headlong into whatever for quite silly reasons, actually, and this was an intriguing mystery if Ezio had ever seen one. Of _course_ he was going to dive headlong into this one, or try.

The book, of course, had other ideas, though.

As he stared at his nails, he heard footsteps behind him, and turned to his left. Nothing was there, and he looked confused for a split second before he heard laughing on the right side. Ezio turned then, and ended up looking right at a rose, petals bright red, in a dusky-skinned hand. Grey eyes alighted and looked up to meet Jackson's gaze. He always looked like he was in on some secret that no one else was, this weird glint of mischievousness in his eyes. Ezio may be a little broken and still not find him very physically attractive, but he did love his eyes.

"Jackson, when did you get back?" he asked.

"Not that long ago," Jackson answered, and then he moved the rose a little closer. "It's for you."

"Oh," Ezio said, almost breathlessly, reaching up to take the flower. He turned it around in his hand, watching the patterns in the petals and the way the light fell over the grooves in it. "Thank you."

"Only the best for my baby, of course," Jackson said, his eyes twinkling. The man, his own hair black, thicker eyebrows than Ezio's, and similarly grey eyes, a light dusting of freckles on his skin, leaned over the chair to kiss Ezio's hair, and then settled down on the armrest. "How are you?" he asked.

"It's been a good week," Ezio answered. It had been. He hadn't collapsed but that once, and that was probably because he'd stood up too quick. That happened sometimes. "Weren't you staying in Selvadorada for another week?"

Jackson snorted, reaching over and taking Ezio's hand. "I was," he said. "And then I got a little homesick, so I came back early. Besides, you know I miss you when I'm gone."

Ezio smiled shyly, glancing down at the rose in his hand.

"Hey, I managed to avoid the bugs this time," Jackson said.

"That's good," Ezio answered, glancing up at him.

"It's all thanks to you," Jackson said, reaching over and tilting Ezio's head up. "You sure you're okay?"

"Yeah," Ezio said. "Like I said, it's been a good week."

"I worry, you know," Jackson said. "Someday, you gotta get better babe. Then we can go together, and I can introduce you to my mystical skeleton friends. I think you'd like them."

Ezio _did_ tend to like things like that. Ezio was always about learning, though he believed that life couldn't be lived in the pages of a book, because there were a lot of things he'd never have the chance to experience. He pretended otherwise, but it was mostly to make Morgyn feel better, not because he believed it.

Oh! "Oh right, Morgyn was promoted to Sage of Untamed Magic," Ezio said.

"Oh, was she?" Jackson asked. He didn't notice it, when Ezio flinched slightly at the pronoun. "Congratulations to Morgyn, though it's a bit surprising she ended up with it."

"Morgyn is the strongest untamed mage," Ezio answered, trying not to look annoyed.

"You are," Jackson said.

"No," Ezio answered. "Morgyn is." He'd gone over that with Morgyn, though. A Sage that couldn't stay upright some days, occasionally wasn't awake for the better part of a week, that wouldn't be any good for anyone, Ezio knew that and had no illusions about it. Morgyn still seemed to believe otherwise, but Ezio thought it was less that Morgyn _believed_ otherwise, and more than Morgyn _hoped_ otherwise.

Ezio did love the blond, but sometimes Morgyn was oh so deceptive to none other than Morgyn.

"You are," Jackson said softly, leaning over to nudge his forehead against Ezio's.

"I'm not that strong," Ezio replied.

"Sure you are," Jackson answered, and then sat back up. "Hey, I'm going to go get a vase for that okay? Don't go anywhere." Jackson leaned over, his lips meeting Ezio's for a brief moment, and then he hopped off the armrest and went into the kitchen.

Like always, the spark wasn't there, and Ezio tried not to look disappointed as Jackson wandered off. How long did it take for it to be there? He didn't know. The weirdest part was, Ezio had more of a reaction to Drake smiling at him, than he did to his boyfriend kissing him. Maybe… no. He didn't need Morgyn telling him Jackson was no good for him even in his _head_. He was trying, and that was the important part. Ezio could be patient.

* * *

It looked right on the side table. That wasn't where Ezio wanted it to be, necessarily, but if he moved it outside of his room, it had a high chance of being knocked over by a stray spell. Stray spells were always ricocheting around downstairs, and it was somewhat amazing that they didn't have to replace everything down there every two days. Well, there was a reason they'd invented the Repairio spell, no? For a moment, Ezio got lost admiring the rose in its little vase, and then sat down on the bed. Jackson was over by the closet, rummaging through his luggage and changing clothes. It was nice to have him back, even if Ezio didn't entirely know what he felt about Jackson being back.

Sometimes, the alone time was nice. Jackson was the sort of man that was outgoing and loud, and Morgyn was already exhausting on that front. Ezio wasn't necessarily _introverted_ , he liked people well enough, he just sometimes needed to be left alone for a bit. Maybe that _was_ introversion, huh.

Anyway, Ezio wanted to be happy that Jackson was here, but mostly he was a hair disappointed he wouldn't have any more alone time. Grey eyes flicked to the leather-bound book of mysteries on the dresser. It kept shimmering strangely in the light, but Jackson hadn't noticed, and Ezio wasn't sure how to explain it, so he wouldn't bother trying to. Sometimes, it was easier not to fumble with things like that. When Ezio had more answers and understood it himself better, he'd try then. Then again, Jackson rarely ever seemed that interested in the strange rambles that Ezio got onto sometimes. There were times Ezio rocketed off on some stray nerdy subject, and he could see Jackson's eyes haze over. Well, some people weren't interested in sciences and language. Ezio was the weird one, most likely.

Ezio laid down on the bed, watching Jackson. After a moment, Jackson glanced back at him, smiled, and turned back to getting his shirt changed. "Like what you see?" Jackson asked. His words had that playful tone he usually took when talking about things like that.

Ezio didn't answer verbally, just smiled slightly. Truth be told, no, he didn't. Ezio never _disliked_ it, he just didn't find Jackson that attractive. He found nobody that attractive, though. Once, Ezio and Morgyn were standing around in Caster's Alley, talking to Caleb, and someone squeaked in the background about how Caleb was hot. Ezio had blinked at it, looked more seriously at Caleb, and not understood at _all_. Sure, he was aesthetically pleasant, but that wasn't the same thing as _hot_ , or at least, it wasn't as far as Ezio understood it. Maybe he was understanding the word wrong.

Ugh, the rules of attraction were about as stupid as gender was.

"I can't stay long," Jackson said suddenly, pulling the new shirt on.

Ezio blinked, his eyes widening slightly, expression falling flat. And then, as always he did when Jackson said things like that, he looked sad. But this was nothing new. Jackson could never stay long. It was always he was here for maybe a few days, and then he went right back to _somewhere_. Littlehaven, San Myshuno, Selvadorada, Shang Simla, Granite Falls, Sulani, Isla Paradiso, it was always _somewhere_. Ezio was trying not to wonder about it. It hurt less when he didn't.

"I see," he said softly.

"Hey, don't make that face," Jackson said, leaning over the bed to catch Ezio's lips with his own for a moment. "It'll just be another couple weeks. You'll barely even miss me."

"I already miss you," Ezio said. "I was hoping you could stay for a little longer than usual this time."

"Ahh, I can't," Jackson answered. "I've got an opportunity to go to Sulani, they're doing underwater diving to check out Mua Pel'am and study the volcano, and they need me. I may never get this chance again, Ez, I got to."

Ezio understood that. He wanted to be angry about it, be angry that Jackson would rather spend time underwater with a fucking _volcano_ than with him, but, Jackson was just a free spirit. And being able to spend the time in Sulani studying the volcano, that was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Really, Ezio was being an asshole, he should be _happy_ for Jackson. The more he thought about it, though, the sadder he was.

"Someday, I want to see Sulani too," Ezio said.

"Maybe someday," Jackson said, shifting around to sit down next to Ezio. "Just not this time. You know your heart _probably_ wouldn't like hanging around a volcano, and you shouldn't get so stressed out." Idly, one hand reached out and rested on Ezio's back, tracing little circles there against his shirt.

"I know," Ezio replied. Of course, he was doing a little better now. It occurred to him, right then, that Jackson had the most exposure to the world outside magic realm of all of Ezio's boyfriends. It stood to reason, he should know that world as well as the Vatores. So why hadn't _he_ mentioned… no. No, that was silly, Jackson probably just didn't know how medical advancements were doing now, and Lilith had to know because she was always at the hospital getting plasma packs nowadays. (Caleb didn't like biting people.)

"Like I said, it won't be that long, I promise," Jackson said. "And I'll bring you pictures of course."

Ezio didn't care about the pictures. "Okay." Ezio went quiet for a moment, and then looked back up at Jackson. "Do we have time to do something together before you go?"

"Of course," Jackson said. "Anything you want, babe. Though… I have an idea."

"Yeah?" Ezio asked.

Jackson smirked like he'd just learnt the secrets of the universe, leaning over and kissing Ezio, trailing kisses across his jaw, nudging him over. Ezio didn't protest any, moving where Jackson wanted him to. That wasn't what he meant. Ezio didn't bother saying anything, and as Jackson's hand trailed down his leg, he got the feeling that this relationship was going to be a lot of whatever it was that Jackson wanted.

* * *

If the sound of Jackson's voice beyond Ezio's door that morning were anything to go by, Ezio wasn't coming down anytime soon. For the most part, it was easy to forget that Jackson even existed at all. He came in like a tornado, ripped some things up, disrupted the natural flow of life, and then went again, and Morgyn had long gotten used to it. He was a momentary distraction, a slight problem for a short period of time. Morgyn glared at the coffee pot as it spluttered its water and brewed the bean juice that kept Morgyn's head on straight. The blond would need a lot of it to prevent from breaking Jackson's neck.

With any luck, he'd decide to go bother someone else today. Of course, Ezio probably would want him to stay, but Morgyn was always very glad to see him go somewhere else.

"Morning," Drake greeted, wandering in to make a plasma fruit smoothie. It was easier, people asked fewer questions about a smoothie.

Morgyn didn't answer with words, simply grunted.

"What's up?" Drake asked. Clearly, Morgyn was upset about something.

The blond snorted. " _He's_ here."

Ah. Yes, Drake had noticed that. He tried not to think about it too much. There were some bonuses to being a vampire and having such great hearing, and there were a number of drawbacks, too. "That he is," Drake said, dropping what he needed for his smoothie into the blender.

"He always puts me in a bad mood," Morgyn said. "How are you holding up?"

"Much better than you are, apparently," Drake replied.

"I just don't like him."

"You don't have to explain yourself to me, you know," Drake said. He understood. Simply, it was better for him in the long run not to squint at Ezio's boyfriends too much, unless he had a reason to believe they were actively harmful. That was Ezio's business, after all, not his. Besides, it hurt a little less.

"I don't know, sometimes it seems like you're judging me," Morgyn answered. The coffee pot spluttered and stopped, releasing a hiss, and Morgyn poured a cup.

Drake arched an eyebrow, glancing over one shoulder at the blond before turning back to the blender. "I'm not judging you," he said.

"No, but I can tell you think this isn't any of my business," Morgyn said, sitting down at the table with a sigh. "And you know what, you're right. Ezio's a grown man, he can make his own choices, and trip into his own hurts. I just _hate_ it."

"Oh, you're not the only one," Drake murmured. "But you said it yourself. Ezio is a grown man. It's not up to us to try and make his decisions for him."

Morgyn loosed a sigh, weight shifting. "I don't want to make his decisions."

"Don't you?" Drake asked, turning to the blond. "I know you mean well, but this is the part where we give him the space to be himself, even if we think he's making the wrong choices."

Morgyn sighed again, but didn't argue that point. Drake was right, and the blond knew it. "The hardest part is accepting that he is making the wrong choices and letting him do it."

"I learnt not to pay too much attention to it," Drake said.

"Unfortunately, I can't shut it out. Ezio's my twin, we share everything." Morgyn paused a moment, sipping the coffee, and then made a face. "Okay, not exactly _everything_ , but close."

"I was going to say…" Drake said. "For what it's worth, though, Ezio seems to like Jackson. I suppose that's all I need to know."

Morgyn snorted, loudly. "He doesn't _like_ Jackson, you and I both know that," the blond argued. "Ezio doesn't like _anyone_ , he just tolerates them, and he's _literally_ too nice to tell anyone to fuck off." As far as Morgyn was concerned, Ezio only dated because he got asked, and was too nice to turn people down, not because he was personally interested in dating. People took advantage of it, that was all. Morgyn was sick of watching it happen, but Ezio would be Ezio. Morgyn wasn't sure if the blond wanted him to start saying no, or if Morgyn was glad he was so kind. No, more often than not, Morgyn wished he wasn't so kind.

"I don't know what Jackson wants," Morgyn went on, "but he's not getting it."

Drake cast a glance at Morgyn, and then turned back to the blender. "You shouldn't chase him off," Drake said. "Sooner or later, Ezio's going to hate you for it."

Morgyn snorted derisively, turning to the opposite wall.

"At least wait until he's done something _offensive_ ," Drake said.

"He _did_ do something offensive," Morgyn murmured into the coffee cup. "He _exists_."

"Morgyn," Drake said, sighing.

"What?" The blond took a drink of coffee. "The worst that happens is that Ezio hates me. Honestly, I'd rather Ezio never speaks to me again, than some idiot screws him over. _Again_. I might remind you of his great track-record at picking the _worst_ possible guys to go out with. Do you remember Dan?"

Drake grunted.

"And do you remember Greg? That guy was terrible!"

"Yeah, I remember him," Drake said.

"Oh, and _Tyler_!"

"Okay, stop, stop it," Drake interrupted. "I get it, he's bad at boyfriends."

"No, he's probably bad at _people_ ," Morgyn said. "I suppose that doesn't make much of a difference, though. The point is, I'm _tired_ of this, Drake. And if I have to make a few sacrifices to make it stop, that's worth it to me."

Drake was quiet for a moment, blending the smoothie together. As he stared at the mixture, though, a thought occurred to him, and he turned up to look at Morgyn. "I know you think you can handle it now," he said. "But what about when your righteous anger goes away? Will you still be able to handle it then?"

"Oh please don't get philosophical on me," Morgyn grumbled. "Look, that's my problem, isn't it?"

"Of course," Drake said. "But don't permanently hurt Ezio, and yourself, over something that is temporary."

Morgyn stared at him, jaw setting, and then released a sigh. "What is it with everyone and questioning me these days?"

"It's good for you," Drake replied. "You should be thinking about things like this a little harder than usual."

"You could just ask him out," Morgyn said. "That'd solve this whole mess really quick."

"Okay, and with that, we are done here," Drake said, heading out the doorway, smoothie in hand.

Morgyn released another sigh. These two idiots were such idiots.

* * *

Strangely, when Jackson was staying at headquarters, everyone started avoiding Ezio. It wasn't like they were avoiding _Ezio_ , he wasn't stupid. They were avoiding _Jackson_ , he knew that much. Of course, it didn't make him feel any better about it, but he supposed no one expected it to. Ezio still didn't understand the strange dislike of Jackson. He hadn't done anything wrong, and, technically neither had any of Ezio's other boyfriends. At least, _Ezio_ didn't think so. Clearly everyone else disagreed. He decided a long time ago they could disagree if they wanted, it wasn't like Ezio cared that much.

Still, it'd be nice, if his friends were a bit more supportive. Ezio was used to them deciding they didn't like his choices in partner. Of course, Ezio knew that he didn't _choose_ them, they seemed to choose him. Someday, he was sure, he could come to love one, or at least, that was the hope.

He sat in the kitchen, drinking a cup of tea. Distantly, he could hear the sound of the rushing water outside, occasional fizzles and bangs from someone doing magic somewhere. These were normal sounds to him, by now, sounds that he barely paid any attention to because they were so common now. L. passed by the entryway, nodded at him and smiled as she went. L. was never very nice, it was somewhat concerning when she was, but he was getting used to that, too.

And then Morgyn scooted through the doorway, settling down in the chair beside him. "Hey," the blond greeted. "How are you?"

Ezio smiled a little and shrugged one shoulder. "I'm okay." He was in a good mood, actually, despite the slight ache from last night. There was always that ache after.

"How long is he staying this time?" Morgyn asked.

Ezio shot the blond a very annoyed look, and then turned back down to his tea. "A week," Ezio answered softly.

That wasn't very long. Morgyn could be glad for that much, though inevitably Ezio was going to be rather displeased by it. He always took it so hard, and Jackson didn't seem to have any idea how much of a prick he was being. Either that or he knew very well, and didn't care. Morgyn wasn't so certain which one it was, and most days, didn't entirely care. That wasn't the point.

"Look, Morgyn," Ezio started, "I know you don't like Jackson, but I wasn't really asking you to like him. Just to accept that I do."

Morgyn took a breath in, head tilting slightly. "I'll accept it when you choose someone better," the blond answered.

Ezio snorted slightly, giving Morgyn a very confused look. "What is better, exactly?" he asked. Morgyn seemed to have some kind of idea of what sort of person Ezio should be dating, and in spite of his better judgement, he was curious what kind of person that was.

First of all, anyone but Jackson, but Morgyn didn't say that. "I don't know how you tolerate that loser, that's all."

Ezio arched an eyebrow. "He's not a loser. Why don't you like him? He hasn't done anything to earn this."

He wasn't Drake, for starters. They'd been over that about a _thousand_ times, and Ezio always had some odd excuse or another, usually different excuses, not to talk to Drake about his long-standing feelings. Morgyn was very sure that Ezio and Drake had been in love with each other since the day they showed up out of the blue in magic realm, hand in hand.

Ezio didn't want to separate from Drake, so they were never far apart for at least the first week. Morgyn didn't like it then, but had come to accept it, because Drake knew Ezio in ways that Morgyn never would. It wasn't to say the blond _couldn't_ , of course. They were twins, and Morgyn could come to understand anything, given time and explanations. But Ezio couldn't bring himself to _give_ those explanations, and Morgyn would never demand them.

At this point, Drake was the only person Morgyn could accept Ezio dating. Because Drake loved him more than was logical, and Ezio needed him more than was logical.

"I just don't," Morgyn answered, as if that was enough of an answer.

"Damn it, Morgyn," Ezio murmured under his breath, setting his teacup down on the table. "We can't keep doing this. _You_ can't keep doing this, _why_ do you keep doing this, anyway?"

"I just explained why," Morgyn said, arms crossing in front of the blond. "It isn't my fault if you don't like the explanation and don't want to accept it. But you can lie to me, and you can lie to Drake, but you can't lie to yourself. You _know_ that none of these boyfriends of yours have been really good for you. And I mean _really_ good for you, none of them have ever made you happy. You walk into a room Drake is in and you light up like a jack-o-lantern someone put a lit candle into. Ezio, you're _brighter_ when he's there, that's what I want for you. Even if it's not _Drake_ you ever accept, but I really wish it would be, I just-"

"Morgyn, stop it," Ezio said, standing up and setting his teacup in the sink. "It's not like I'm unhappy."

Yes, he was. Ezio would argue that point until he turned blue, and Morgyn knew what stressing him out did. The blond took another breath in, head tilting to the side, and then looked down at the floor.

"You're not happy, either," Morgyn said softly.

"Sure I am," Ezio said.

"Not being unhappy is not the same thing as being happy," Morgyn argued.

Ezio didn't have an argument for that. He had no idea what happiness even _was_ to begin with. Well, maybe he had a slight idea. He remembered so little of France, but there were bits and pieces, snatches of Drake teaching him letters and what sound they made, split second moments of Ezio teaching Drake to dance in turn, that almost made his heart feel like it was going to burst for how much he wanted those moments back.

But that was gone, now, and there was no sense in wanting that back. If he spent too long looking behind him, he couldn't move forward.

"I appreciate that you mean well," Ezio said, standing up straighter. "And I still love you and I always will. But mind your own fucking business." Ezio didn't wait for a response, instead stalking out of the kitchen and leaving Morgyn to the blond's turbulent thoughts.

Green eyes closed, and Morgyn let out a sigh, hand raising to press against the bridge of the blond's nose. That had gone spectacularly.

* * *

Something was very wrong.

There were times, many, actually, throughout the course of history, where the world experienced a great upheaval, and a sudden massive change. Humans used many different words to refer to these periods, but he liked to refer to them as age shifts. These shifts were important, and almost always were headed by a destroyer.

All throughout time, in all ages, there were people that were great influencers, whose purpose in life was to cause great change, and that change can be either good, or bad. Especially terrifying were times when more than one destroyer was present in an era at one time, and, gods forbid, were not necessarily working towards the same goals. These were periods of intense chaos and confusion, times that took a good deal of effort and probably _years_ to recover and rebuild from.

He had lived through many of these times, and many Destroyers, and if he was interpreting the future correctly, he would live through many more of them.

The man, light-skinned, some might say sun-kissed, with a dusting of freckles across his nose, short slightly messy pale blond hair falling to just below his ears, and vibrant icy blue eyes, tapped one finger against the chess piece as he held it, scanning the board for a place to put it down. Once you picked up a chess piece, you committed to moving that piece and couldn't place it back where it was. Quietly, his other hand tapped rapidly against one leg, the other bouncing under the chair. The movement caused the pieces on the board to vibrate slightly, but not enough to distract him from his pondering.

Not far behind him, near the windows, was a very tall, board-shouldered man, slightly darker in skin tone than the blond, wavy brown hair falling to his shoulders, grey eyes watching the snow fall beyond the glass. The blond set the piece down on the board, and the leg that was still no longer was. The brown-haired man by the window released a sigh, glancing at the blond.

"You're nervous," he said. The tone made it quite obvious it was not quite a question, but was intended to open the door, if the blond wished to discuss what was on his mind.

Instead, the blond reached for another piece. Then, the blond tilted his head, frowning at the board. Something was wrong. No, if he thought about it, the blond knew _what_ was wrong, this feeling, it was familiar to him by now…

"What's wrong?" the brunet asked softly. The blond got like this from time to time, where it seemed like he was more in his head than he was anywhere else, and sometimes the brunet had to try perhaps too hard to get his attention.

Still, the blond did not answer, setting the chess piece in his hand back down. He knew what was wrong. What he didn't know was how the course of destiny would go. One could argue that destroyers were designed to defy the course of destiny anyway, if there was a such thing as destiny (the blond was not fond of the theory), and so the course of destiny made precisely no difference whatsoever. That argument would not entirely be incorrect, but the blond had reservations. First of all, he was not entirely certain which human was the destroyer, or if there were more than one.

These agents of change were unpredictable. There was never any promise that the change they wrought would be _good_. When a destroyer was born, it was as if the whole world held its breath, waiting for them to decide if they were going to bring about positive reform and forward movement, or if they were going to plunge the world into darkness, for no reason other than that they could.

The blond picked up another piece, tapping the side of it softly. The brunet simply watched in fascinated interest. The blond reached out to set the piece down, but the very edge of the wood tapped against another piece, causing it to fall. The blond dropped the piece in his hand. "Faex," the blond swore. It was Latin, long dead by now, but still the language the blond used instinctively. Icy blue eyes fell to the board. The king had been knocked over.

That didn't bode well.

The brunet released a sigh, unfolding his arms and moving over to the chess board. He knelt down beside the blond, reaching over to take both of his hands. The blond turned to face him, and the brunet could see the struggle in his eyes, the way he thought too hard about whatever was in his mind. What did he _see_? "What's wrong?" he asked instead.

And for a moment, the blond's vibrant eyes glazed over, turning hazy and unfocused, and the brunet feared he'd lost him in some vision or another, but then those eyes blinked, and focused again. "A destroyer is awakening," he said quietly.

The brunet blinked, unconsciously tightening his grip on the blond's hands. "Are you sure?" he asked, just as quiet, eyebrows furrowing in concern.

"Yes," the blond replied. "We must prepare. There is a storm coming, and I don't know what damage it will do."

The other man drew a breath in, turning down to look at the floor.

"We will endure," the blond said. "We always do."

Yes, they always did. The brunet knew that. But every time was a little harder on the blond. This one, he was never a fighter, never intended to be. He was intended to love, the brunet knew that, and his ability to love was destroyed by those around him. It was a miracle he could, now, but he was stronger than he looked. Even so, he weakened, a little at a time, every day, and every storm. The brunet wondered how many more storms it'd be, before the blond couldn't endure anymore, and was finally gone.

He said none of that. The blond didn't need that. Instead, the brunet nodded. "Of course."


	6. It's Just a Shame

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this so tired I couldn't see straight. I make no promises as to its content. Also I use that pose of Morgyn's like all the time. Amazing.  
> I also expanded the mini-bios, and changed the old ones, so going back a couple chapters to re-look at those is a good idea. c:  
> That's All, Genesis

Record players were wonderful inventions. Most of the time, the Vatore siblings had a minor disagreement about technology and how useful it was, but record players were on the list of things they both could agree were wonderful inventions. Lilith smiled to herself, gently setting the vinyl record on the turn table, and then setting the needle in its grooves. Caleb, reading a book across the room, smiled slightly as Fleetwood Mac began to play from the table speakers, and Lilith smiled even brighter. Very few things put her in a good mood, after all, and seeing her in a good mood consequently put Caleb in a good mood.

When they were kids, Lilith had more of an emotional range. Caleb remembered her being a sassy little girl, intelligent enough to outwit very powerful men that were supposed to be well-educated. Caleb loved it when she did that, but others didn't take so kindly to it. Caleb wasn't stupid. He could figure it out.

He wished he _was_ stupid, sometimes.

"Fleetwood Mac is one of those bands that never gets old," Lilith said with a sigh, settling down on the couch. She was going through their photo albums, arranging the pictures in them so that they had labels and were in vague chronological order. Lilith remembered so very little, that things like that mattered to her. There were a few pictures of the Embers in there, too, some of Drake. They still didn't know if they were blood related to one another, but that didn't matter much. The Vatores and the Embers had adopted one another.

"Yeah," Caleb agreed. "Their songs are definitely repeatable."

"I'm so glad you're nothing like Vladislaus," Lilith said, snorting softly.

Caleb arched an eyebrow, glancing at his sister over the edge of his book. "What did Vladislaus do now?" he asked.

"Why do you assume he did something?" Lilith asked.

"You never complain about Vlad unless he's upset you somehow."

That wasn't true. Was it? It wasn't like Lilith thought about it too much. Most of the time, she hardly remembered her own reactions to anything. It was strange, and Caleb occasionally seemed a little concerned about it, but Lilith never was. It was life, that was all. She'd gotten used to it, and sooner or later, so would he. Vlad hardly bothered her, either. Sometimes he was annoying, but whenever she felt annoyance at him, it was very barely. Most of the time, when Lilith felt something, it was very barely.

"You know something's going on," Lilith said. "I went to talk to Vlad about it, and he was, of course, very Vlad."

Caleb loosed a snort. "I'm sure he was."

"It annoyed me," Lilith said, slipping a photo into one of the sleeves.

"He probably has a very good idea of what's going on," Caleb said.

"I know," Lilith answered. "And it seems kind of important, don't you think? Why would he be hiding something like that?"

"Who knows?" Caleb asked, shrugging slightly. "Vladislaus never made any sense to me in the first place. You're the one that hangs around him the most. I'd figure he'd make more sense to you than me."

"Sometimes," Lilith murmured, looking for where the photo in her hand went. "Other times, he's a grating exercise in frustration, and to say the least of it, I'm frustrated."

Caleb loosed a sigh, setting the book down. "I know you are," he said. "But you know how Vlad tends to be. Maybe he just thinks you're not ready to know whatever it is that's going on. He's weirdly protective of the Hollow, even if he is so in strange ways." Lilith had decided a long time ago, that if Vlad wasn't relatively decent a vampire to exist around, then they weren't staying here. Caleb trusted her judgement. "Maybe he thinks it'd be a distraction," Caleb suggested. "You do tend to get overzealous about certain things." And sometimes, those things were more or less inconsequential at the time. He loved his sister, but she had strange reactions to things, too.

"I guess," Lilith said, setting the stack of photos on the table. "He said something about a storm coming, and that he isn't sure who will survive it, but he hopes one of them that does is me, or something. Does that make sense to you?" Because it made absolutely none to her.

"Sure," Caleb answered. Vlad was always fond of her, even if she was, in some ways, grating. Caleb might not _like_ Vladislaus, but he could also see that in his way, he did care, and he did like most of his offspring. He even seemed to like Miss Hell to some extent, though she was almost completely unlikeable if one asked Caleb…

"What?" Lilith asked. "I don't get it."

Caleb snorted in amusement, smiling a bit. "Hey, that's probably why he hasn't told you anything then," he said.

"You're not going to explain?" Lilith asked.

"Of course I won't," Caleb answered. "It's more fun to watch you flail around. I like it when you don't get something. Makes you seem less like a super vampire." Caleb never told her, of course, but he'd had something of an inferiority complex with her since they were kids. Becoming vampires just made it even worse, because she was even good at being a _vampire_ , and Caleb was terrible at it. He didn't know what he was good at, just yet. Lilith always said he was good at music, but music didn't tend to pay the bills. Maybe it did now, it wasn't like Caleb paid that much attention to it.

"Shut up," Lilith said softly, rolling her eyes. She stood up, then, heading into the kitchen.

Caleb smiled to himself. He wouldn't trade the relationship he and his sister had for anything, but sometimes, he wished she was a little more open, not with him, but with herself. Because it wasn't Caleb that needed to understand what was in her heart, she was the one that needed to, and didn't.

* * *

They'd had this conversation probably about fifteen thousand times by now. If it wasn't one boyfriend that Morgyn took offence to, it was another one. Actually, in hindsight, it seemed to be damned near every boyfriend or girlfriend Ezio had ever had, though Morgyn seemed to not mind the girlfriends. Was there some kind of pattern to this? Ezio didn't know. Ezio had two girlfriends, and four boyfriends. One girlfriend moved about three weeks after they started dating. That wasn't much time at all, and they didn't know one another very well by then, so it didn't bother him much. They were decent friends, at least, so it was unfortunate to lose one of those. He thought then, even if they were just friends, he could've lived with ending up marrying a friend. The second girlfriend was many years later, and she decided they made better friends. She married someone else and had a family, and they'd just naturally drifted apart.

And then there were the boyfriends. One of them disappeared in quite a hurry, and Ezio had no idea Morgyn had anything to do with it, but it turned out, yep, that was Morgyn's doing. Another one went protesting a war, and never came back. Ezio would probably never have answers for that one. The third one had relocated to Lunar Lakes… wherever that was. The fourth one Morgyn had also chased off.

The most frustrating part was that Morgyn never explained why. The blond simply inexplicably hated anyone that got anywhere near him. Unless they were Drake. Morgyn decidedly didn't hate Drake, and Ezio was glad for that. Then again, back then, that was the only thing Ezio was willing to fight Morgyn over. Morgyn had tried to hate Drake because he was a Dussault, and Ezio had hissed over it and then had a panic attack, and apparently Morgyn had decided that was enough of a reason to try and like him. Nowadays, Ezio hissed over more things (sometimes quite literally), and it probably wasn't as notable when he did it. And so, Morgyn still hated Jackson, no matter how many times Ezio hissed about it.

He just wanted to understand it. Ezio wasn't unreasonable, but Morgyn wouldn't explain.

Drake was a complication. The only person that knew him better than Drake was Morgyn, and Ezio was very aware of that. They'd been a little family, in a sense, ever since Ezio and Drake had escaped France, and things had been a little complicated at first, but they'd adjusted to it, and come to really care about each other. Ezio wouldn't be happy anywhere else, and Drake had a strange way of making him feel… _right_. Among other things, and Ezio never figured out what those other things were, because they were feelings and reactions that only Drake inspired.

It was probably no wonder that, every time Ezio and Morgyn got into a fight, one or the other eventually ended up talking to Drake. He was probably more privy to their arguments and the reasons behind them than they were. Drake was reading something at the dining room table, when Ezio sat down across from it and looked up at him.

"I heard," Drake said.

"I don't get it," Ezio answered. It was completely unsurprising that he'd heard already.

"You know Morgyn's too logical for this," Drake replied. "There's a reason, even if Morgyn's not exactly sharing."

"I know that," Ezio said. "Morgyn didn't happen to tell you what that reason is…?"

"Of course not," Drake replied. "Morgyn likes me, but maybe not quite that much."

Ezio sighed, slumping against the table slightly.

"If it's any consolation, Morgyn's probably just afraid of hurting your feelings," Drake said.

Ezio frowned. "It's not like my feelings are easy to hurt," he said.

Drake gave him a look.

"… _as_ easy to hurt…" Admittedly, he could be awfully emotional sometimes. But Morgyn was the logical one, the one that shoved everything that _might_ be an emotion down, stuffed them into proverbial boxes and threw them into corners to be forgotten about until Morgyn felt being depressed. Ezio couldn't shove his emotions down. He _was_ his emotions. He was just also very good at controlling them, now. That was a very different tale a few hundred years ago, but that time was gone now.

"You can't make Morgyn tell you," Drake said.

"I just want to understand." Things were always much easier to deal with, particularly for the Embers, when those things made sense. And perhaps their lives were a constant back and forth with one Ember trying to protect the other one, but the semantics of what the other thought they needed to protect from, that was important to them. Yes, there were times Ezio had fangs and it was always for Morgyn, and there were times when he had fangs and didn't explain what'd made him bare them, too.

Funny how the traits they shared were the ones that drove each other nuts.

"Tell Morgyn that then," Drake said. "It's hard to understand something when you're not open about it. And maybe you need to show some willingness to be open before Morgyn will."

"That'll go great," Ezio said.

"You never know how it'll go until you do it."

He supposed that was true. Drake wordlessly set the book he'd been reading neatly on the table. The light overhead flashed across the cover, throwing a rainbow at the wall for a split second. Ezio squinted from the brightness, and frowned slightly, at the sudden strong urge to reach across the table and hold onto Drake's hand. But that was always what Ezio did when he felt lost. He held onto Drake.

"Do you hate Jackson, too?" Ezio asked quietly.

Drake was quiet, watching Ezio for a moment, and then his gaze fell to the glass table. "I don't think it matters," he said.

"It matters to me," Ezio answered. "Please? I trust you. I only trust Morgyn more than I trust you, and right now I don't know what to think about how Morgyn feels about it." But for all that Drake was also an Ember, in his way, he was probably the most stable and level-headed of them.

Drake took a breath in, released it. "I don't _hate_ him," Drake said. "But I don't like him, no." He never stayed very long, he seemed to be hiding something, and whenever he and Morgyn were in the same room as one another, Jackson got excited for some reason, and Drake had never figured out why, just decided he didn't like it. Never mind that, for all that he wasn't there long, Ezio was quieter after he'd been there, and it was getting worse over time. No. Drake decidedly did not like Jackson.

"Thank you," Ezio said. "For being honest with me."

Drake smiled slightly. "It doesn't matter," he said. "I won't tell you what to do with it."

Yes, Ezio knew that. Drake never did tell him what to do. And that was why Ezio tended to listen to him.

* * *

Ezio never stayed angry with Morgyn for too long. There was never any real concern that he'd stay angry for a notable amount of time, but truthfully, that wasn't even his anger, anyway. Morgyn had only ever seen Ezio's anger once, and quite frankly, nothing else before or since had been as terrifying. It wasn't like Morgyn was going to admit that. That there was something in Ezio that terrified the blond, but it was still the truth. Instead, Morgyn was just careful how far the blond pushed Ezio. It was likely that Morgyn couldn't push him too far, but Morgyn didn't want to find out otherwise the hard way.

There were some things that were worth the risk, though.

Against Drake's advice and Morgyn's better judgement, when Jackson wandered into the kitchen that morning, Morgyn was already leaning against a counter, arms folded, the blond probably looking rather cross. A smarter person, or a less angry one, might not have been in the kitchen when he came in. Morgyn _wanted_ him to make a mistake. If Drake thought Morgyn should have a reason to want to get rid of him, then Morgyn could probably find one. It wasn't like Morgyn didn't already have a reason. Ezio just wouldn't like nor accept those reasons.

Incessantly badger one out of him, find one, same difference.

"Good morning, Morgyn," Jackson greeted. He looked amused about something, moving around the kitchen to make tea. Morgyn was, as usual, staring at the coffee pot while it brewed anti-Morgyn-murder liquid.

"No," Morgyn said.

Jackson snorted. "What do you mean no?"

"I mean, no," Morgyn said. "If I had my way, you wouldn't even be here at all, so I'd suggest you don't talk to me and make it worse." As far as Morgyn was concerned, he should've never been let anywhere near here, but magic headquarters was for everyone that was a spellcaster, and unfortunately, Jackson happened to be one of those. He didn't have it in his blood, though, and none of them had turned him into a spellcaster. If Morgyn had to guess, Ezio had done it. Why on earth Ezio had given him _magic_ , that Morgyn didn't know.

He was finally free of the stupid fucking ghosts driving him mad, and now he had to deal with _Jackson_. Things were almost perfect for Ezio. Morgyn just had to deal with this one.

"Is that a threat?" Jackson asked. "Because I don't think you want to be threatening me."

"Is _that_ a threat?" Morgyn asked in return. "Because I don't think _you_ want to be threatening _me_."

"Ezio's not going to be terribly pleased to hear about this one," Jackson said.

Morgyn's head tilted, slowly, nostrils flaring a slight bit. "Don't presume to use my brother as a _weapon_ against me."

"Why?" Jackson asked. "You afraid I might win that little war? I go to bed with him, Morgyn."

"He would never choose you over me," Morgyn said.

"Want to bet?" Jackson asked, notably smirking.

Morgyn didn't respond, simply eye-rolled at his audacity.

"What, you scared?"

"Not at all," Morgyn replied, pouring a cup of coffee. "I've taken down worse than you over the years. Unfortunately for you, one of us is permanent here, and it's not you. Keep pushing my buttons. You might just learn why my name is _Ember_." Morgyn practically threw the coffee pot back into the machine, turned on a heel and stalked out of the kitchen, Jackson looking amused the entire way. He was definitely up to something. Ezio must've warned him that Morgyn tended to chase off his boyfriends anymore, clearly that interaction was expected. It didn't make Morgyn any happier about it, that was sure.

Of course, going back to war with Ezio about his dumb boyfriend _probably_ wouldn't end well, and now Jackson could tell Ezio that the blond had threatened him and not be lying. It wasn't like Morgyn regretted anything that was said, however. The mother fucker was playing with fire, and there were reasons we didn't do that. Apparently his parents had never taught him that, but he was about to find out on his own.

Morgyn set the coffee cup down on a table on the balcony that was the Untamed Sage's domain, and stared out over the back of headquarters, watching the water rush off the edge of the island. The tapping sound of L.'s heels sounded long before her voice did, but this time, Morgyn had sensed her coming, anyway.

"So now we're threatening other spellcasters?" L. asked.

"I don't like him," Morgyn said.

"I wasn't asking that," L. replied. "There are some behavioural standards that we stick to around here."

"I am the untamed sage," Morgyn added. "They're not known for following rules."

L. tisked. "And look where that mindset got Aine," she said, raising her hand to look at her nails.

Morgyn turned around to glare daggers at her. As always, L. was entirely unbothered. "He's hurting Ezio."

"Are you sure about that? Or do you just not like him and desperately want a reason to hate him?"

"You've _seen_ what Ezio is like when he leaves," Morgyn said.

"Which could just as easily be that he misses him," L. replied. "Look, I know you're convinced that he's the cause of it, that it's a reaction to something he's doing, I get it. I know you've got it in your heart that he's the bad guy. But don't become a bad guy yourself trying to get rid of him. There are ways of dealing with these sorts of things and they're all a lot more delicate than this."

Morgyn scoffed, turning back around to stare at the water. Once again, L. was right and Morgyn _hated_ it. It wasn't like Morgyn knew any other way of doing battle, though, and Jackson was… he needed to do something _stupid_ , really and truly stupid, or Ezio was never going to see sense, might even convince himself he loved this one, maybe even _actually_ fall in love with him. No. Morgyn had to stop this before it was too late.

"So what else do I do?" Morgyn asked. "Just sit around and wait for it to go horribly?"

"Of course not," L. replied, snorting. "But you do need to wait. The thing about small men with ulterior motives, eventually they become arrogant and show their colours."

"Sometimes, that's too late," Morgyn said.

"Yes," L. replied. "And there isn't anything for that. But this isn't how you deal with that, either." L. went quiet a moment, turning away. "Sometimes Morgyn, all you can do is be there when the glass castle comes down," she added, and then turned around and walked away.

* * *

Roses were hard to find around here. For the most part, Ezio never minded that, because roses were kind of overdone and cliche anyway. Instead, he'd ended up with some lavender, which had another side effect of being nicely aromatic, bluebells, and lilies. Ezio never did figure out what kinds of flowers, if any, Jackson liked, so he just went with ones he liked, ones he commonly heard that others favoured. Ezio set the vase down on the table, a little ways back from the candles, and then reached over and rearranged them a bit. He wondered, then, what Jackson's favourite colour was, too. If he had to guess, it was _probably_ gold. He sure wore a lot of gold.

Ezio didn't _dislike_ gold, but he was really more of a silver kind of guy, though his favourite colour was purple, and it looked terrible on him. That was why he never wore it. His head tilted to one side, looking at the flowers, and then he reached over and rearranged them again. No, that still wasn't quite right either… it took a few more tries before he realised that if he kept messing with them, Jackson would be back, and the flowers' arrangement would still not feel right.

He was nervous. Ezio tended to get obsessive about inane things when he was nervous.

He should check on the salmon, anyway, he figured, so he left the flowers alone, scooted the candle a little further away from the vase, and then headed into the kitchen. What time Jackson came back from these errands was usually somewhat random, but he hoped he'd timed it correctly. All he _could_ do was hope, though, but he was used to that. The way Ezio had it figured, they should have some time for something like this, spending time together doing something a little mundane but kind of romantic all the same, and maybe if they did more things like that, Morgyn would have less reason to complain. He pulled the oven open, peeking at the fish; it looked done. That in mind, he waved a hand, taking it out without touching it, and then shuffled around getting it plated and ready to go.

As he scurried back over to the table he'd set up for them, the door opened and closed, and Ezio's heart leapt into his throat. It was probably someone else, but Ezio still turned around and went out to look. The first thing Ezio noticed was the gold of Jackson's jacket, and then he smiled. "Welcome back," he said.

"Hey baby," Jackson answered, pausing beside Ezio long enough to kiss his temple, and then headed for the stairs. "I'm heading to bed."

"Already?" Ezio asked, turning around.

"Yeah?" Jackson asked, pausing and raising an eyebrow at him. "Why?"

"I just…" Ezio paused, wondering if he should even mention it at all, but his grey eyes flicked to the table, and Jackson followed his gaze.

"Dinner, oh, I'm way too tired and ate out at the Alley, you go ahead." Jackson smiled slightly and then went up the stairs.

And Ezio tried not to look too crushed as he went. It was meant to be a surprise, but, with someone as busy as Jackson, it probably would've been a better idea to ask first. Ezio turned back to the table. Well, there was no sense in letting all that effort go to waste, he guessed. It wasn't like he could usually tolerate to do so much at once. He had to be careful how active he was, and what kinds of strenuous things and how long he got caught up in. Setting just this up had taken the better part of the day, but that was just as well. Yeah, he should've asked first.

Ezio turned down towards the floor, and then shuffled over to the table, taking a seat. He wasn't really hungry, now, but he was already here, and there was no sense in being too upset about something that was probably his own fault. Jackson was rarely ever around during the day, even when he was at magic realm. That was probably part of why Ezio missed him so much, but it wasn't fair of him to demand so much of his time, either. Jackson was a busy person, because he had a lot of business partners and arrangements to deal with. Come to think of it though, he never did figure out what Jackson did for a living, exactly.

He supposed it didn't matter.

Finally, he reached over and made a small plate for himself. As he stood up to blow out the candles, he heard shuffling on the stairs, and turned around to find Jackson heading back down. He went around Ezio, and sat in the chair on the other side.

"Sorry, babe," he said. "It occurred to me on the way up there, you probably meant this as a date… so, ah, here I am. That was pretty stupid. What'd you make?"

Ezio stared at him for a moment, and then smiled shyly. "Salmon," he said, quite softly. Jackson coming back down was markedly unexpected, though Ezio wasn't really happy. That wasn't the first time Jackson had blown him off, and it probably wouldn't be the last. The more time went on, the harder it became to defend him from Morgyn's accusations, that he wasn't any good for him, that he didn't have any real interest in Ezio at all.

So what was he to him? And did he dare to ask? Jackson had a temper sometimes, and Ezio didn't like to set it off. It might be best not to say anything at all.

"I came," Jackson said. "And this is really good. What's with the face?"

"What?" Ezio asked. "Nothing. I'm not making a face." At least, he didn't _think_ he was making a face. (Was he making a face?)

"Right, okay," Jackson said. "So now you're going to be a little whingy bitch."

Ezio looked down at the table. There was no sense in answering that, so, Ezio didn't. He didn't know that he _was_ being a whingy bitch. (Was he?) He was so out of the loop with these sorts of things, but it was no wonder. He only dated because people asked him, not because he wanted to. He had far more important things to worry about than dating, and yet here he was, dating.

He trusted Drake. A lot more than he trusted Jackson, at least. But he wouldn't tell Jackson that talking to Drake was making him wonder about him. About _them_. Why did Jackson ask him out, anyway?

"You're not still upset about me leaving, are you?" Jackson asked. "Since you're already being a little bitch, may as well get that out of the way too."

Ezio shook his head. "I'm not." Of course he was. Jackson never stayed. What was so wrong with him that-

"Good," Jackson replied. "You won't even notice that I'm gone."

No, Ezio didn't think he would notice. Because Jackson was _always_ gone.

* * *

The sprite didn't seem interested in slowing down anytime soon. The white witch was keeping up well enough, and sometimes the sprite would hang back and wait. The forest was quiet, save for the crunching of snow beneath the white witch's boots. Well, she supposed no one could call her a witch, anymore. The forest spirits were kind enough to assist her when she needed it, but her magic was gone now, and had been for a long time. It was no thanks to a former comrade. Someone that, given time, Keisha could've called a friend, but that person would've never called her a friend in turn. It was all water under the bridge, now.

Keisha moved slightly to one side, to avoid a set of rocks. Granite Falls was beautiful in the winter, one of her favourite places, but that was why she'd stayed here for as long as she had. People came and went in Granite Falls. No one was permanent a fixture, and meeting different people from around the world, and being exposed to many different cultures over time, it gave Keisha enough mental and social stimulation to keep her happy. She was never lonely here, anyway, because the forest spirits kept her company. Plus the sprites were friendly. Most of the time, anyway.

The sprite took another sharp turn, and Keisha dutifully followed, making sure not to stray too far behind. The sprite looked a bit impatient at her, and Keisha giggled. "Do you remember what happened last time you broke your wing?" she asked.

The sprite, a sparkling pink colour, dropped in altitude slightly. Keisha recognised it as a sign of embarrassment. She was starting to understand sprite body language. The former sage wasn't sure how she felt about that.

The world was changing. As a shaman, Keisha was in tune with the natural rhythm of life, and of death. Something had shifted some time ago, and she'd never learnt the outcome of that. It didn't feel different, now. It felt like the same thing, as if the promise that was made so long ago was finally being realised. She wasn't sure what that meant either, but it was very likely to be important, judging by the tension in the air. Something had changed, and now the whole world was holding its breath, waiting to change with it.

The sprite had stopped, not far. Keisha trudged up to meet it, and looked down at what it was hovering above. Ah, it was a snapdragon plant. These made beautiful centrepieces, but were also useful in certain potions. Despite her magic being stripped, Keisha still brewed potions, among other things. Tinctures and salves, ointments and the like, these sold very well to the travellers that came to Granite Falls. Some of them were tragically silly enough to come without having taken any precautions or stocked up on anything.

Ah, but that was what the forest hermit was for, after all. To see to it that the forest, and those that visited it, were taken care of, even if they _were_ a little woefully underprepared and perhaps a bit dense.

Keisha paused, looking up at the tree that was beside the snapdragons. There were strange markings on the bark, purplish in hue, and it took Keisha a moment to recognise them. As soon as they started to be familiar, the sprite squeaked and suddenly took off. Keisha whipped around. "Wait!" she cried, but the sprite was already long gone. Keisha scrambled after it, moving as fast as her clumsy human legs would let her go.

Naturally, the sprite got where it was going long before she did. Keisha came up beside it, and it was swirling in frantic circles in midair. Whatever the sprite had found had startled it a notable amount, but Keisha wasn't certain - oh, no, she remembered the last time a sprite acted this way. Keisha's purple eyes darted around, one dusky-skinned hand brushing white hair back from her face, to find the flower that was calling the sprite.

Her eyes landed on it, and Keisha stepped closer to it, eyes alight with dazzled fascination. It looked like it was made of darkness and glass, black and purple smoke swirling around its shimmering purple body, like there was metallic glitter inside it, a beautiful violet bloom, there at the base of a tree. These were Etiana's flowers, and Etiana's flowers brought messages from the gods.

Keisha stared at the flower for a long moment, and then turned to the sprite. "Shall we activate it?" she asked.

The sprite stopped flying in circles, and nodded enthusiastically.

If an Etiana flower was not intended for you, it would not activate. Keisha had no doubt that enabling it would work, if it was meant to. That in mind, her hand reached out, and tapped one of the petals. It shimmered blue, and then ice shot everywhere, snaking up the tree and covering it in a thick layer of icy blue, across the snow, and even across Keisha's boots. It chilled everything to its core, and drastically changed the appearance of the forest around them.

And then the voices began.

"Do not _presume_ to understand me or my motivations."

"You don't know what it's like to hurt. Not yet."

"It doesn't change the reality."

"If you look back, you won't be able to move forward."

Some of the voices, Keisha swore she recognised, swore she'd heard before, but names weren't coming to mind. She turned, watching the images in the ice across the snow, but they were hazy, unfocused, and hard to make out.

"Master all sides of yourself. Even your own darkness."

"He was the only thing standing in my way."

"Can you kill your own brother?"

None of these things made sense. Keisha grimaced. Despite none of what was being said making any sense, none of the images being clear enough to make out, Keisha couldn't help the growing sense of dread.

"I don't teach the easy way."

"I _made_ him what he is."

"We're not going to die."

"Nothing will ever hurt you again."

"Now, we do it _my_ way."

"I will take you with me!"

"You must fall in order to rise."

"I may be the only chance you have to save him."

"I will _never_ put myself before you."

"It isn't the things that hurt that matter, it is what we do with the hurt."

"What have I done to us?"

"It could destroy you. It could destroy everything."

"Please… come back to me… come home…"

As quick as the visions began, the ice receded, and the flower disappeared in a puff of smoke. Even so, Keisha was quite certain it'd take a few days to be rid of the chill that had set into her bones. She wasn't sure what that all had meant. But she never was, the first time a vision came to her. Things were changing, and perhaps quite rapidly. She turned to her sprite friend, and smiled.

"Let's go home," she said. "And make hot cocoa."

It was easier than fretting about it all.


	7. Your Love Is Gonna Drown

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> L. goes on a rampage against the gender dichotomy. It's a long rampage full of vague science bc Im gbh I dunno what they knew and didn't in the 80s, and my own experience with it, and it may be a lil loosey goosey. Don't tell me I'm wrong, go write your own crap. Otherwise, enjoy.  
> I hate my own writing these days. I'm like inches away from giving up on this thing, ngl. I have probably eight copies of the outlines for this thing and every dang copy is slightly different because I can never be happy with anything I come up with and I can't tell you if it's depression, OCD/anxiety, stress, or I just actually feel that way right now. Who knows.  
> In any case, look, I hate to be that guy, but comments really do help me a lot. I like knowing what people find interesting and what they think about things because it helps me become a better writer and all that crap ya'll have probably heard a thousand times already so super thanks if you are commenting and please consider doing it if you aren't. Even if it's just a long line of AHHHHHHHHHHH I'll love you anyway. And share with your friends if you like my work.  
> I decided to slightly tweak the transition from this part to the TMA rewrite, and I wanna say I'm very VERY sorry, I'm gonna break everyone's heart, but you know. I'm not that sorry.  
> Also, I'm not saying things with Jackson get REALLY bad before the end of this I'm just saying he made me put the domestic violence tag back in. c": Ezio also makes bad choices but he kind of explains why he makes these bad choices, so that's nice I guess.  
> This one got a song change like 3 times, but I finally settled on Marching Bands of Manhattan, Death Cab for Cutie.

Shelving books seemed to be his thing. Simeon used to help, but now that he was one of the Sages, he didn't have enough time to bother with it, and it fell to Ezio. Ezio didn't mind. He didn't have anything else to be doing right now. It turned out shelving books was a good excuse not to get caught up in conversations he had no interest in. Morgyn was the outgoing one. He smiled and nodded until the other party got bored and went away. Some would say it was a bad way of handling social encounters, but Ezio had never learnt a better way. Ezio didn't like being rude, even without meaning to. Feigning interest where there was none might be rude, too. Ezio tried not to think about it too much. He didn't need to be having a crisis over it, because that was the least of his problems.

Amid putting books back onto the shelf, he sensed something change. Ezio glanced at the window, but decided not to set the books down. Lilith could find him fine on her own, and that would be the better outcome. He had an arm full of books, and no interest in dropping them. He wondered if Morgyn had said something to Caleb about Jackson being here. Recruiting Lilith to badger him about Jackson seemed right up the blond's alley. Morgyn tended to attempt to overwhelm opponents. Ezio wasn't going to fall to that. This was why Ezio kept winning duels with the sage. Morgyn was the stronger of the two, but Ezio won. It was kind of embarrassing when your half-crippled brother kept whipping your ass.

"Hey Ezio," Lilith's voice came. She didn't wait for a response before taking one of the stacks of books, and going to shelving them. "You look like you could use a hand."

"Hey," he answered. "I could use the help, yeah. Simeon's busy of course." Simeon was the nicest of the sages. L. had that attitude problem, and Morgyn was right behind her, even Ezio could admit that. He loved Morgyn, but the blond was on one these days. It wasn't surprising that Simeon was the busiest of the three.

"Yeah, I'm sure he is," Lilith answered. "He's the nice one."

Ezio snorted.

"Caleb's busy in Caster's Alley, so I figured I'd stop in and see how you're doing," Lilith explained. "I have good timing I see."

"Yeah," Ezio agreed, tone distracted. He spent a few moments looking for the spot the book in his right hand went. Once he found it, he slid the book into place, released a quiet sigh, and then started looking for the next book's place.

Lilith watched him for a moment, and then smiled a little. "Jackson's here, is he?" she asked.

Ezio glanced at her, and then turned back to the bookshelves. "How'd you guess that?"

"Your mood," Lilith said. "There's a special mood you get into when Jackson's here."

"Morgyn didn't talk to you?" Ezio asked.

"Recently?" Lilith asked in return. "No. I'm not sure we've spoken in a while. Why?"

Ezio shrugged one shoulder. "Morgyn doesn't like Jackson," he said. "It's exactly like Morgyn to recruit help in talking me into breaking up with him."

Lilith laughed. "Yeah, Morgyn does try to do that overwhelming thing. Morgyn's not said anything to me, though. What's up?"

"I don't know," Ezio said, sighing. After a moment, he set the stack of books in his hands down on the floor, and sat down. "I'm trying to understand, but Morgyn's not interested in explaining anything. That usually means the idiot _can't_. You know how much trouble Morgyn has with wording things sometimes. I don't know what else to do."

Lilith was quiet for a moment, thinking. She glanced at him over her shoulder, slid a book onto the bookshelf, and then set her stack of books down as well. "Even if Morgyn can't explain it," she said, "you know as well as I do. Morgyn doesn't dislike people for no reason. It's possible, in this instance, the only thing to do is trust that Morgyn's heart is in the right place."

Ezio snorted. "It's hard to do that when it feels like Morgyn's trying to sabotage any shred of happiness I can find."

"Oh, you know that's not true," Lilith said. "This is awfully persistent for wanting to sabotage you, though. Morgyn might be onto something."

Ezio sighed, his feet shuffling on the wood floor. One arm rested across his knees, the other holding his chin up. "You know, I found out that Drake doesn't like him, either."

Lilith's dark brown eyes narrowed, her head tilting a bit. "I trust Drake," she said. "He tends to like everyone, too. It's pretty telling that he doesn't like Jackson."

Ezio looked up at Lilith. Grey eyes turned to the wall, for a moment. He released another sigh. "So what do you think?" he asked.

"I don't have an opinion," Lilith answered.

"Sure you do," Ezio said. "Everyone seems to have an opinion on my love life anymore. You know, I tried doing something nice for the two of us. I made dinner, set everything up, it took me _hours_. Jackson comes back and immediately goes to bed. Then, he comes back down, and expects everything to be okay. I was still hurt. I tried not to let it show, he calls me a whingy bitch, and we eat in silence. To say the least, I learn never to do _that_ again."

Lilith's eyes saddened, as she listened to the story. At the end, she sighed. "Oh honey," she said. "You deserve better than that. For the record, having feelings isn't being whingy. Someday, you'll find someone that appreciates all that effort. It's not Jackson, that's all." It was a shame it wasn't Jackson. He had no idea what he was missing, what he could have if he learnt not to be a jerk. That was his problem, though, not hers. It wasn't even Ezio's problem.

"Everyone says that," Ezio said, groaning. "I don't know what better _is_."

Lilith snorted softly. "A good start could be someone that doesn't make you so sad. Ezio, how many times does Jackson have to see Selvadorada before you understand that it's possible it isn't Selvadorada he leaves for?"

Ezio looked confused, for a moment, grey eyes casting to the floor. What else would he be leaving for? There were many things that came to mind, reasons that he may be leaving. If Ezio thought about it for a moment longer, he could come up with reasons for him not to want to stay here, no matter how much Jackson liked him. It was possible that Jackson _didn't_ like him, just like Morgyn always said. He could want something. Ezio didn't know _what_ he might want, but it didn't mean there wasn't another reason. Ezio turned to look at Lilith. She might have a better idea than he would.

Lilith, though, shook her head. "Don't look at me," she said. "I don't date."

That was true. In all the time Ezio knew her, she'd never dated anyone. That was Caleb's thing, though he never stayed with any of them very long. Ezio had to wonder why _that_ was, too, but he'd have to be blind not to know. Caleb liked Morgyn. Simply, he also liked spoiling people. He was a romantic at heart.

"Why is that, anyway?" Ezio asked.

Lilith shrugged a shoulder. "I haven't found anyone I like. Well, I did have a crush on you," she said. "That crush is still there, kind of. You're pretty cute."

Ezio couldn't help the confused blink, grey eyes widening in surprise. That was news to him. On the other hand, he was always surprised to find others had a crush on him. He didn't consider himself to be much of a catch.

"Hey," Lilith said, "it doesn't mean I want to date you. I think you're cute. That's it. Besides, you're already in love with Drake."

Ezio snorted. "Is it that obvious?" he asked.

"It is if you're anyone but Drake, I guess," Lilith answered.

No. Ezio thought Drake knew, too. He was ignoring it, that was all. Ezio would wonder why, but he'd decided a long time ago not to. It was less painful that way. "I do love him," Ezio said quietly. "I love him more than is logical, sometimes. But it's not fair to ask him to love me back."

"And why's that?" Lilith asked. She was curious. Drake and Ezio had so clearly been in love with one another for such a long time, the words hardly meant anything anymore. It was unlikely they needed to be said at all. The absolute avoidance of it was interesting to her, though.

"It's always me," Ezio said. "It's always me that needs him. It's never the other way around. And whatever it is that he's meant for, I'd rather he found it, rather than spent too long on me."

Lilith smiled to herself. Sometimes, Ezio was rather dense. It was hard to say if it was intentional or not. "Ezio," she said, shifting her weight. "You might be surprised. I'm willing to bet he needs you, too, possibly more than even he knows. You don't spend this long with someone only to walk away from them without a second thought. Love isn't something you earn. It isn't something people can be deserving or undeserving of. Love is for everyone. You just need to learn to accept it."

Ezio looked down at the floor again. He never did learn how to do that. It was one thing with Morgyn. Ezio didn't know how to push Morgyn out, not entirely, and even if he could figure it out, he didn't want to. He'd lost Morgyn once, he wasn't going to do it again, not because of his own stupid choices. Drake had been a constant for so long, there was barely any concern that someday he wouldn't be, and this was stupid, too. Everything went away, someday. Even Drake. Ezio had never shoved Drake out, but neither had he ever truly let him in.

"I don't know how," Ezio said quietly.

Lilith smiled. "Sure you do," she said. "You need to stop listening to this," her hand raised and tapped her head. "And start listening to this." Her hand lowered, tapping her chest. "Even when you don't know how to love, how to accept it, your heart does. That's what it was made for. Let it do what it was made to do."

* * *

Morgyn's students were starting to get awfully close to setting things not meant to be on fire ablaze. Most teachers would be upset with this outcome, but Morgyn was excited. It meant _something_ was sinking in, even if that wasn't quite what the sage had hoped would sink in. Morgyn supposed that didn't matter. There were times to be picky about which victories one managed to win, and that time was not now. It was a victory, and Morgyn should be glad for any kind of victory in these early days. The blond still maintained there was a marked lack of teaching talent here, but Morgyn had already been vetoed a few times by now, and wasn't interested in another one to add to the list.

All things considered, Morgyn _could_ be worse at this, the blond had to give them that much. Ezio was biased, and seemed to believe that Morgyn could do no wrong. Everyone else's stances were harder to explain. Morgyn had nothing for that one, save perhaps a misguided idea that the blond couldn't be any worse than the raven-haired predecessor. There were a few truths about Aine and her disappearance that Morgyn had yet to explain to anyone. There was the chance, now that Morgyn thought about it, that part of why the blond couldn't get Aine out of Morgyn's head had more to do with the guilt.

It was surprising. The All had _definitely_ seen that, or at least felt it. Why, exactly, the stupid thing had still chosen Morgyn as Aine's replacement, that much the blond couldn't figure out. That was probably the worst part, not knowing why it was Morgyn had inherited something the blond didn't even want after _that_ decision. Of course, left alone, Aine would've done a _lot_ of damage, Morgyn knew that, and it was why, despite internal reservations and some hesitation, Morgyn had ultimately acted.

Morgyn _didn't_ know where Aine was. But Morgyn might have had more to do with her disappearance than the blond had admitted to. And for whatever reason, the All had not given Morgyn much time to be upset about it. it was probably for the best. Morgyn didn't do well without something to use as a distraction, something to keep the mind, and preferably the hands, busy.

The sound of porcelain tapping against glass startled Morgyn out of the blond's thoughts. Morgyn turned around, finding L. setting a cup onto one of the coffee tables, and then folding elegantly down into a chair. Morgyn had always envied her the grace with which she moved. Morgyn moved more deliberately, not fluidly, and it looked jerky and unrefined.

"I wasn't expecting you," Morgyn said.

"Oh, most don't," L. answered. "To say the least of it, dear, I'm an experience. I tend to simply _happen_ , and everyone else adapts."

Morgyn snorted. _That_ was a mental image for the ages. The blond might also someday borrow that experience descriptor. Morgyn could sure be an experience sometimes, too. "If you say so," the blond said.

"Have you figured out what to do with Ezio?" L. asked.

Morgyn frowned slightly, shuffling over to settle into the other seat. The movement, as Morgyn expected, wasn't as fluid as L.'s movements. The blond reached out and took the cup. It seemed, for all that L. was surprised to find Morgyn remembered how she takes her coffee, L. remembered how Morgyn takes it, in turn.

"It's been on my mind," Morgyn answered, taking a drink. "But no."

"I didn't figure you had," L. said, her legs crossing. "You can't keep trying to protect him from everything, though. You're doing both of you a disservice. Ezio's stronger than you give him credit for. He _can_ defend himself, you know."

"Of course he _can_ ," Morgyn said. "He defeats me in duels every time we get into them, and not because I let him, either. The problem is that he _doesn't_."

L. was quiet for a moment, considering that. Morgyn wasn't wrong. Ezio seemed to have teeth when it came to everyone but himself, and L. wondered why from time to time. Ultimately, however, it was none of her business. Ezio had pains that L. would never understand, she'd known that for a long time. It was easy to see it, in his eyes, in the care with which he spoke sometimes. He knew what it was like to hurt, and took great care not to cause hurt for others. The world needed more people like him, yet at the same time, a world like this one could very easily destroy him.

It was no wonder Morgyn was so protective of him, but this was something L. had never wondered about.

"So you decided you would be his sword," L. said.

"Someone needs to be," Morgyn replied, shrugging.

"I find Drake often is," L. said. Drake was the first one to rise to Ezio's defence, should Morgyn be absent, and at times, even when Morgyn _was_ there. L. didn't think Drake could operate in any other manner. His life, too, seemed to have been built around Ezio, but he was another matter. Drake was a different, but similar problem, one that L. would worry about later. One disaster at a time.

"Of course he is," Morgyn said. "I think he'd forget how to _breathe_ if Ezio wasn't there to remind him how, and funny enough that wouldn't even kill him." It would be markedly uncomfortable, however. Morgyn fell silent, for a moment, watching the coffee in the cup. "I think I'm afraid of losing him," the blond admitted.

L. looked mildly impressed. "I know that," she said. "You're getting better at listening to yourself, though. That deserves congratulations."

"Does it?" Morgyn asked, green eyes flicking over to L.

She snorted. "It does," she said. "It takes some people many times longer to even _begin_ figuring this part out. I should think you started to listen to yourself long before Aine was gone. It's good. It means you're not completely lost without her, and can learn to move forward on your own."

"It's mostly Ezio that I cling to," Morgyn said. "Even when she was here, Ezio was the one I listened to." Though Ezio never did like her, he didn't speak against her or contradict anything she said unless he felt very strongly about it. It meant, even in the depths of Morgyn's hero worship of her, when Ezio contradicted her, Morgyn listened anyway.

L. smiled. It was a good thing Ezio was a positive influence. Morgyn was the wild one, not Ezio. Twins were born together for a reason, everyone believed that. Varying cultures around the world had many different fascinating explanations for why twins were possible. L. always figured, personally, that they were born together so that they were never alone. Some souls were so susceptible to the cold grip of loneliness that they split in two for fear of it. L. had met many people over the years, many of them siblings, but she had never met a pair of siblings that clung to one another as tightly as the Embers did.

She wondered if they knew where they came from. One thing at a time, though.

"You can't stop Ezio from living what life he has because you're afraid of losing him," L. said, one hand swirling her coffee around in the cup. Morgyn looked down at the floor. "It's not fair to him, nor to you, for that matter. You have your own problems anyway."

The blond snorted, looking up at L. "What, you mean that I'm apparently a crossdresser?"

L. didn't even try not to roll her eyes, gaze turning up to the glass above the balcony. "No, I mean that you're not female," L. said. "There's no such thing as crossdressing, Morgyn, clothing doesn't have a gender. It's just a term very small, insecure men made up to make themselves feel better validated and _properly_ masculine, when the reality is they don't even know what masculinity is. That's the problem with people that don't know what something means trying to define it. More often than not, they simply make themselves look like jackasses, and make life harder for the rest of us. It's quite tragic, really."

Morgyn stared at her for a moment. "You know, sometimes I get weirdly accustomed to you being relatively kind to me, and then you remind me that behind your pretty smile lie a number of poison daggers."

"Oh sweetie, poison is so last century," L. said, smirking. "We skip the games and go straight to stabbing nowadays. You think my smile is pretty?"

Morgyn snorted lightly, setting the coffee cup down on the table. "I do," Morgyn said. "I think most peoples' smiles are pretty. There's a way people light up when they smile, _truly_ smile, it's got a strange way of making everyone else feel a bit lighter, I think. Yours does, too. Sometimes it's more concerning than anything, but I think it'd be more concerning if you didn't smile at all." Morgyn paused for a moment, and then looked up at L. "I want to argue with you, about what you said about crossdressing. But you're literally not wrong."

"You want to argue because society tells you that you should," L. said. "But you don't really believe it, that's why you have no argument to make. A lot of things are like that. A lot of people believing the same thing is a very tricky ordeal. Statistics and logic tell you that they should be correct, but more often than not, they are _very_ wrong. These kinds of ideologies and mindsets are based on outdated standards from the days humans were arranged in roving tribes. These mindsets were rooted in different is dangerous, a concept that preserved many a tribe over the centuries, to be sure, but is no longer valid in modern society, and isn't necessarily valid in the context of how someone _looks_ , anyway. Some people are simply better at outgrowing these things than others."

Morgyn thought about that, for a moment. "So what am I?" Morgyn asked. "Male?" There still wasn't anything but male or female.

"There's something called genderqueer," L. explained. "It is the concept that one's gender identity and expression is not constrained by the male-female dichotomy, but rather that it exists outside of it. I believe you're somewhere in that grey area."

Morgyn must have made some kind of face, because L. snorted.

"That sounds unnatural, no?" L. asked. "I can see it in your face. Most react the same way the first time they hear things like this, but you are not the first to exist outside the societal gender dichotomy, and you won't be the last. Consider that gender itself is a societal construct. It is used as a mutually intelligible means of communicating to other humans what exactly is in your pants. Why we feel the need to identify ourselves by such arbitrary means is for someone better than me to understand, because I think I never will. Grating individuals typically of the masculine persuasion, though this is frequently perpetrated by people of other genders, constructed social roles and expectations that were to be filled by either side of the gender dichotomy. Existence outside of, or challenging of these constructed social roles and expectations, are persecuted, because humans like their little labels and dislike it when things go in unexpected ways, but nature does not and has never stayed within these arbitrarily placed lines.

"It is not eschewing of the gender dichotomy that is unnatural. It is attempting to enforce it like it is the way things are meant to be. Nature tells us otherwise. There are many creatures out there that display no true gender whatsoever, that reproduce without sex at all, that shift fluidly and sometimes biologically between one sex and another as needed. The idea that gender and its expression is a simple matter of a this-way or a that-way sounds like something you'd teach a child as an introduction to the concept of gender itself before getting into the complexities later. It's almost as if humanity collectively decided that the vast expanse of possibilities with gender and gender expression blew their poor little minds, and they all gave up on it."

Morgyn was quiet a moment, waiting to see if L. had anything else to say. When she was quiet for a few moments longer, Morgyn released a breath. "You have some feelings about this."

"I do," L. said. "We all want ways of identifying ourselves and expressing uniquely, and finding healthy ways to do so that feel right is important. But none of us are quite as unique as we'd like to believe. It's a good thing. It means none of us are ever as alone as we feel, either."

* * *

As he usually wasn't, Jackson wasn't there after breakfast. Most of the time, even when he was spending time in magic realm, he was a rare sight. Ezio liked to internally complain about the sudden lack of personal time when Jackson was around, but for the most part, Ezio wouldn't even notice the difference. Sometimes, he thought he made these things up in his head, these problems that didn't exist, so that he had something else to focus on and think about.

Truth be told, Ezio didn't know how relationships were supposed to work. He had no examples. Morgyn had never been in a relationship before, and Ezio didn't remember their parents anymore. There were small snatches of them here and there, but their names were long gone, and all Ezio had retained were split second memories of their mother singing, and that their father always smelled strongly of evergreens. He knew that relationships were about compromise. That you had to give a little and get a little, and the two were best kept in balance. Even if he didn't _love_ someone, it didn't mean they weren't deserving of his trying to make things work, so even when it felt like everything was going wrong, Ezio still tried to make it work. He believed that, any two people could, if they tried. He may not have understood a lot of things, but what Ezio did understand of love told him that it wasn't some magical event. Love was something you worked towards, something that had to be tried for.

Morgyn would tell him that he was too kind and too patient. But these were things that Ezio wanted in return. It didn't seem fair to demand those things and then not be willing to offer them. Besides, the world could always use a little more kindness and a little more patience.

This morning, he'd come down for breakfast, spent a little time talking with Morgyn before they both had things to do, and then it was putting away more books. It seemed that was all he ever did, putting away books, but Ezio enjoyed the time to himself, just him and the books. He loved books, because everyone had a story to tell, and they were all worth writing down and remembering. By remembering, humans learnt and changed, and with any luck, became better. That was a bit optimistic, wasn't it?

Between one stack of books and another, Ezio sat down on the floor, taking a break. L. wandered past the entryway, nodding and waving at him as she went. He smiled in return, watched her go, and then a thought crossed his mind. L. was one of those people that others considered to be an unpleasant person to talk to. People called her mean and rude, but in Ezio's experience, she was simply honest, and true it was that sometimes, honesty was painful. But Ezio could use some honesty, about now.

He shot up onto his feet, scurrying out the doorway. "Wait, L.," he said.

She paused in the hallway, turning to face him as he scrambled to stand beside her. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Ezio answered. "I was wondering if you had a second, to talk." Even when L. and Morgyn weren't speaking, she talked to Ezio sometimes, and they were decently friendly, at least. And she'd tell him the truth, nothing else in there, no extra feelings, no other circumstances, just the truth. Right now, Ezio very much needed the truth, even if he didn't like it.

"Sure," L. answered. "Are you sure you're alright?"

"I'm fine," Ezio repeated. "I thought maybe you'd have a better idea than I do, why Morgyn doesn't like Jackson."

L.'s eyes flashed slightly in perhaps annoyance, but Ezio couldn't quite decide. "I see," she said. "Besides the fact that he's a slick mother fucker, seems to be aware that he is, does occasionally very skeevy things, says other things that throw up a lot of red flags, and is pretty much never here despite you being here? Nope, not a clue. Why?"

Ezio let out a snort. That was quite blunt, actually, but that was precisely the response he was looking for, too. "You too?" he asked.

L. released a sigh, reaching over and resting a hand against Ezio's arm. "If you keep hearing something, sometimes it doesn't mean anything at all. People think the same thing all the time, it doesn't make them right. But it does mean that they may be seeing something that you're not."

Ezio looked down at the floor. He wondered why he didn't think about this before. It was possible that he didn't want to, because it meant facing the reality that things weren't as great as he believed, because it meant making tough decisions that he wasn't sure he could handle. He couldn't keep running to Morgyn and Drake when he couldn't deal with something. They would let him, yes, but he needed to learn to do it on his own, or he would never stop needing them. They both deserved a life he wasn't a major part of. He wanted that for them, even if they didn't.

"You know Morgyn wouldn't put you through this if Morgyn didn't believe very strongly that it was the right thing," L. said. "And I know it won't be easy, but if you ever need me, I'm here too, and always willing to listen. Or punch someone, I might be decent at punching someone. Needs more testing."

Ezio snorted in amusement. "Thanks, L."

"You're one of the better humans, Ezio," L. said. "Don't let some stupid boy drag you down." There were plenty of boys in the world, and some of them weren't stupid.

"I'm not," Ezio said.

That one remained to be seen, but, L. didn't argue that. "Just remember that Morgyn needs you."

Ezio looked up at her. "I don't think so. Morgyn could be things that I'll only ever dream of, Morgyn doesn't need me."

"Oh, yes," L. argued. "Yes Morgyn does need you. Quite bluntly, sometimes, you are the only thing standing between Morgyn and the abyss of utter destruction, and I'm not certain if it will be Morgyn's destruction, or ours."

Ezio tilted his head. "That's a bit dramatic, don't you think?" Sure, Morgyn had a temper, occasionally made some rash decisions, dove headlong into things without thinking, but Ezio didn't believe Morgyn had it in there to destroy too many things. And even if Morgyn _did_ have a notably destructive side, sometimes destruction was a good thing. Clearing out a forest's underbrush paved the way for the forest to grow stronger. Tearing down old things made way for new ones. Destruction wasn't _bad_ , necessarily.

"You and I both know it's not," L. said. "You may close your eyes to it, but it doesn't change the reality. Morgyn is a terribly destructive force, and that force must be focused and honed, or it will go out of control and destroy everything. You've seen it before. The side of Morgyn that has more trouble deciding _what_ to destroy rather than whether to."

Ezio released a sigh, running a hand through his hair. "Honestly, Morgyn loves life too much, loves people. _I_ have more likelihood of losing it than Morgyn does." Ezio didn't have the same attachment to people, had been through hell and come back, and the problem with people like that, that had been to hell and back, they brought back with them the knowledge that they could make it. That, despite other people and life itself trying to tear them down, they'd survive, and when they realised that, they learnt there was nothing to be afraid of. Ezio wasn't much, but he was a survivor. Despite so many attempts to tear him down so far, he'd stood up again after all of them.

"You?" L. asked, snorting. "I can't see it."

Ezio arched an eyebrow, looking a hair exasperated, and released a soft puff of air. "L., it's me that needs Morgyn," he said. "When I'm strong, it's because of Morgyn. When I don't run, it's because of Morgyn. Morgyn doesn't need me. I need Morgyn." Maybe there were times when Morgyn started to get tired, and needed him. But Morgyn had Caleb, too. That wasn't something only Ezio could do, and it was sad to him, how Morgyn had become convinced that Ezio was necessary, but it was holding the blond back. If Ezio had to guess, it had something to do with him, too, why Morgyn didn't want to be a Sage. Ezio was only in the way.

"Thanks for listening," Ezio said, reaching over and resting a hand against L.'s wrist for a moment. "I have a bunch of books to put back, so I'll let you get back to what you were doing."

Ezio went back down the hall, returning to the bookshelves. L. crossed her arms. He had no idea what he meant to Morgyn.

* * *

The worst part was that L. was right, and Ezio knew it. He didn't want to, but he'd been thinking about it since he and L. had their talk. He knew Morgyn wouldn't fight him so hard, if the blond didn't believe that it was the right thing to do and there was no other way. Ezio's stress levels had to be carefully managed. Getting him too worked up and stressed out, if Drake was to be believed, could kill him, and Morgyn wouldn't risk that without very good reason. The question, then, was not whether Morgyn was right or not, it was whether Ezio saw a reason to bother trying to make things right.

Ezio presumably wouldn't live long. He'd never admit it out loud, with words, but maybe part of why he dated was because he didn't want to be alone for the rest of his life. Perhaps it wasn't fair, using someone else's lust against them like that, but it was a relatively fair trade. He got companionship, no matter how sparse it was, and all he had to do was lie still from time to time. Someday, maybe he'd want more than that. Maybe he did already, and had only convinced himself this was good enough. He may never know. It wasn't like really it mattered.

He sat in bed, reading a book. He was usually reading a book, if he wasn't downstairs putting books away or playing with the chess board, so when Jackson came in, he wasn't surprised in the least. Jackson paused long enough to shuffle over to Ezio, kiss his temple, and then went into the bathroom. "Sorry I'm late today," he said.

Was he late? If he hadn't said anything, Ezio wouldn't have noticed. "It's fine."

"I got caught up helping in Caster's Alley," he said, ducking through the bathroom doorway. "They had one of the cat familiars get stuck in the rafters. Caleb wasn't out there today, so I was the only really tall one out there."

"You could've levitated it," Ezio said.

There was a notable pause of silence. "… I did not think of that," Jackson said quietly. "Yeah, but it's more fun to climb the rafters," he said, louder that time.

Ezio laughed quietly under his breath. "You didn't hurt yourself at least, right?" he asked.

"Nah," Jackson answered. "And the fluff ball is safely back on the ground. You'd think if a cat can get up there, it can get back down, right?"

Ezio snorted. "You would occasionally be wrong," he said. Unless, of course, the cat was perfectly capable of getting down, and simply did not want to at the time. Cats rarely ever did something they didn't decide they _wanted_ to do.

"Apparently," Jackson said. He peeked through the doorway at Ezio. "How's your day been, babe?"

Quiet. Boring. Something of a mess. "Fine," Ezio said. "Mostly spent it downstairs putting books back."

"Again?" Jackson asked.

"Of course," Ezio answered. "No one can remember to put their books back when they're done. I'm starting to consider an elastic spell that will pull the books back onto the shelf where they're supposed to be if they're off it too long or something."

"You think you can do that?" Jackson asked.

"Sure," Ezio replied. "Would require some testing so it doesn't pull the book back while it's being read, of course, but I think I could do it after a while. I have enough time on my hands anyway." The only thing he did was read, sleep, play chess, and put books back. Then Jackson came back, and he did whatever it was Jackson wanted to do. Speaking of, Ezio reached over onto the side table to grab the bookmark on it, and slide it into the pages. He'd be busy with something else here in a minute, he was sure. The book was closed, and set onto the table.

"Sounds like something to mess with I guess," Jackson said. "Morgyn and I spoke the other day."

"Did you?" Ezio asked.

"And she threatened me."

Ezio arched an eyebrow, resting his head against a hand. So what did Jackson do to elicit that? Morgyn was a little chaotic sometimes, but the blond didn't just threaten people without a good reason to do so. The only logical conclusion, thus, was that Jackson had done something to deserve it. Of course, even _hinting_ that he believed it was Jackson's fault might set off his temper. He should word things delicately. "I see," he said. "That's not really great."

"No," Jackson said. "I'm not terribly afraid of her, actually, so it didn't bother me that much, but you might want to mention it. Not everyone is me."

No, Ezio didn't suppose everyone _was_ Jackson. "Don't worry so much about Morgyn," he said.

"Oh, I don't," Jackson answered, shuffling out of the bathroom wearing something else. Jackson slipped into bed, his arms wrapping around Ezio's waist, lips pressing against Ezio's neck gently. "I do wonder how a woman got so mouthy though," he said. "Maybe she needs a boyfriend."

Jackson completely missed it, when Ezio's jaw set and his nostrils flared in annoyance. That was a disgusting mindset, to begin with, and beyond that, perhaps it didn't matter what gender Morgyn was. It was a disgusting mindset. It didn't need qualifiers. Ezio could feel frost spreading through his hair. He took a breath in, focusing on the magic and pulling the ice out, and it disappeared.

"I'll talk to Morgyn later," Ezio said. "Morgyn's just got a temper is all. Can we talk about something else?" It was either they changed the subject, or Ezio was going to end up freezing Jackson on accident. It wasn't every day Ezio lost control of his magic.

"Whatever you want, baby," Jackson murmured against Ezio's skin. "We can talk about how _hot_ you are…" Kisses trailed across Ezio's shoulder.

Ezio never did respond to it, but still Jackson tried, and Ezio wasn't sure if that was a show of stubbornness, narcissism, or something else entirely. "Am I?" Ezio asked, his voice instinctively dropping into that lower register, paired with vocal vibrations that almost sounded like a purr, or at least as close to it as a human throat could make.

"You definitely are," Jackson answered, his eyes already sparkling with desire.

See how easy that was? All Ezio had to do was hold still from time to time, make some choice noises, and loneliness wasn't a problem.

* * *

Ezio was too busy rearranging the bookshelves again, though this time he was using magic for something. Morgyn hadn't stopped to ask. If Ezio wanted to talk about it, he could decide to on his own, and Morgyn had, unfortunately, other things to be doing. The blond was getting better at teaching, now that the initial fear reaction of never having time for Ezio anymore had come and gone. It was still there, in the back of the blond's mind, but it was easier to ignore it now that some time had passed.

How long had Morgyn been a Sage for, anyway? Now that the blond was thinking about it, there was no answer for that. Morgyn supposed it didn't matter too much. There was time to wonder about that later. Knowing L., the Sage of Mischief Magic would remind Morgyn how long the blond had been a sage when she threw a surprise anniversary party or something like that next year. Morgyn did and did not like surprise parties. Parties were nice. Surprises tended to be terrible.

The blond waited patiently in Caster's Alley, for Caleb to be done talking to whoever that was. Morgyn was, at least, never in enough of a hurry to demand attention right that second, and could wait. Besides, it was nice to be outside of headquarters. After a point, that place got stuffy and oppressive. Or perhaps Morgyn was just a free spirit and hated the feeling of being tied down. By anything. Unless that thing was Ezio, so it'd seem.

The cats were running around chasing each other on the other side of the Alley. Caster's Alley, aside from being a lovely row of shops, also acted as an unofficial duelling grounds, and the place where stray familiars came. Many of them were feline or canine, but there were several that were magical in nature. Leaf-nosed bats liked to hide in the upper floors of the shops, though they didn't as much anymore, now that the vortex had moved further in and started to destroy the upper floors. Morgyn wondered about the vortex, as did most in magic realm. Somehow the sages kept it away from the core of the realm, but it wasn't enough now, and eventually, it wouldn't be enough at all.

"Morgyn," Caleb's voice called. "Nice to see you."

Right. Morgyn was next in line. The blond looked away from the other shops, and turned to face Caleb. It was a gimmick that the shop owners out here liked to do, turning everyone into spectral visions. It was supposed to draw in business, but it just managed to be gimmicky. He looked okay. Caleb was probably Morgyn's best friend. That only started because Ezio and Lilith talked a lot. By nature, it eventually led to Caleb and Morgyn talking a lot, and he was the only one that didn't look at Morgyn like the blond was the hottest thing on two legs.

Funny, though; Morgyn kind of wished he _was_ attracted to the blond. He was at least respectful about things like that, and someone being respectful for once would be a nice change of pace.

"Hey," Morgyn greeted back. "Yeah, nice to be seen. Sorry, I've been way busy."

"No, hey, congratulations on the promotion of a sort, oh!" Caleb ducked out for a moment, and then came back with a small bag of sage. "Ezio came by and bought some sage and mandrake, and I shorted him on accident, if you could bring that to him that'd be great. What'd you need?"

"Uh." That was a great question. Somehow, the light had caught Caleb's eyes and made them shine for a second, and Morgyn had… what was Morgyn here for? No, wait, that was stupid, Morgyn was stupid, "Um, valerian," the blond said, making a face, green eyes screwing shut in annoyance-embarrassment.

Caleb laughed slightly. "Valerian it is, coming right up," he said, shuffling back around.

The sudden absence of him was both welcome and strange. Sometimes, being around him did things like that. Sometimes it felt like the blond had eaten a bolt of lightning, just being around him. And his presence made Morgyn both more tense, and less. It was kind of stupid. Morgyn both loved the effect Caleb had on the blond, and hated it. Still, just like with Ezio, Morgyn never felt like Caleb was making premature judgements, or had come to conclusions without Morgyn's input.

Caleb came back, and handed Morgyn a small bundle of valerian. Morgyn smiled. "Thanks," the blond said, handing Caleb a few coins in return.

"No wonder you smell like those," Caleb said. "Always using them for something."

Morgyn snorted. "Well, you know, everyone likes love potions and age freezing."

"You don't actually _make_ either of those for people, do you?"

"When I was younger and more of an asshole," Morgyn said, "I used to bottle up water and red food colouring, and tell them it was my special love potion. I made a decent amount of money that way, though Aine got annoyed by it."

"Did anyone ever figure it out?" Caleb asked.

"Nope," Morgyn answered. "Sometimes you just need a little confidence, that's all. Most people that ask for love potions, they just want what they believe to be a backup, they don't _need_ it."

Morgyn fiddled with the valerian flowers, arranging them neatly in their container. Caleb was quiet for a moment, and Morgyn eventually looked up at him to find him staring at the blond with a weird intensity in his gaze. "… what?" Morgyn asked.

"Nothing, sorry," Caleb said, looking down at the counter. "I was just thinking about something. How are you adjusting to being sage now anyway?"

"It's been rocky," Morgyn answered, just glad he wasn't staring at the blond like that anymore. Some of the tension in Morgyn's shoulders relaxed. "Ezio thinks I'm doing fine, but I think I've ruined a few peoples' lives by now."

Caleb snorted. "You wouldn't be you if you didn't."

"I should be offended, probably, but you're right," Morgyn said, laughing. "Well, Jackson's by now, so I've been avoiding Ezio a bit. He'll be gone soon anyway, he always is."

"Yeah, Jackson never stays long," Caleb said.

"Thankfully. I hate him."

"That's a bit strong, isn't it?" Caleb asked.

"No," Morgyn answered. "Not strong enough. Ezio adores him for some reason, but all I see is a guy that wants something and isn't afraid to play with fire to get it."

Caleb made a face. "You might be biased," he said.

"I'm not," Morgyn answered. "He's up to something, I just can't figure out what. Of course, this means I'm almost constantly at war with Ezio when he's around, because Ezio adores him and I hate him. … you don't think I'm being a bitch, do you?" Morgyn asked, pausing in the arrangement of the valerian flowers to look up at Caleb.

"I. Wow." That was an unexpected question. How was he supposed to answer that without getting himself set on _fire_? "… I… Think you love Ezio very much, and are being protective of him. Which isn't a bad thing!" he hastily added, holding his hands up. "But sometimes you gotta step back, too?" Was that the right thing to say? That was always hard to guess with Morgyn. The right thing to say seemed to depend on the day.

"Ugh," Morgyn said, groaning slightly. "You're right, and I know it."

"Maybe try being honest with Ezio about why you don't like Jackson," Caleb suggested.

"I would," Morgyn said. "If I knew why myself. He just rubs me all the wrong ways, and I can't tell my brother Hey I hate your boyfriend because reasons and hunches, that sounds stupid."

"Does it?" Caleb asked. "I think he might understand better than you think."

"This is big, Caleb," Morgyn said. "I need a solid argument, not feelings and intuition."

"Your intuition is rarely ever wrong, though."

"I know. That's why I'm not ignoring it," Morgyn said, leaning against the counter. "Hey, Caleb?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think there's a such thing as crossdressing?"

Caleb was so startled, he _laughed_. Morgyn looked a little hurt. "No! No sorry," Caleb said, "I'm not laughing at you, it's just I wasn't expecting that question, wow." It wasn't every day that question was asked, after all.

"So?" Morgyn asked. "Do you?"

"No, definitely not," Caleb said. "But I mean, I steal Lilith's eyeliner from time to time so maybe I'm not the best guy to ask. And I daresay her eyeliner looks great on me."

Morgyn laughed. "I guess," the blond said. "Oh, anyway, sorry, I gotta go. Thanks." Morgyn gave one more smile, and then ran off for the portal that led back to headquarters. Caleb loosed a long sigh. He didn't know if Morgyn would ever see him as more than a friend, but even just this much… it was enough.

Morgyn smiled the whole way back to headquarters. Caleb was oddly charming, and had a way of making the blond smile even when Morgyn was in the worst of moods. It was a shame he didn't seem to be interested. If he asked the blond out, Morgyn was sure he'd get a yes.


	8. It's Got What It Takes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Greatest apologies to those that can no longer comment, I had to turn that off. If you'd like, you can contact me on Tumblr instead, my username is spiira - I usually post notifications about my updates on Tumblr. Should you have negative feedback, that is fine too, but please be respectful about it, and don't talk down to me. I'm always willing to accept that I may be wrong, I do make a lot of mistakes and misremember things. However, I expect that same courtesy in return. I'm not here to argue with people, and there is a big difference between arguing and debating. The moment it crosses that line into arguing, I'm done. I'm glad we have strong feelings about things and want to discuss them; but there are good ways and bad ways to do so. Ya'll really gonna lose your minds when we get to the church scene at this rate, jeez.  
> I did want to take a moment to thank those that are still supporting me despite how rocky and messy 2020 has been for me. I can't thank you enough, you know who you are. There's been a lot of nonstop drama since January and I'm not going to lie, I'm probably right on the edge of a breakdown, like I don't think I've been okay since September of 2018 tbh, but I'm still here, and I'm still fighting as best I can, even if, in fighting, I realise I need to step away from something.  
> Now, there is more science in this, but it's astronomy. I'm going to be honest, I don't know what they knew in the 80s and did not about this one, so I'm just going with it, and it may be a little inaccurate for the time frame. (I did sort of go overboard because I'm an astronomy nerd, and so is Ezio.) Do I care? Not really. I'm not here to write a college dissertation or a scientific paper about whatever. I'm here to tell a story about a couple of fictional people trying to live their lives, find their way, and make sense of the things they're experiencing. Whether the conclusions they come to are wrong or not is really not the point, and I think debating this is taking this a little too seriously. Please understand the purpose of entertainment media, and why I'm writing a fictional novel, and not articles for a science publication. No one is saying that the science and history in this is absolutely 100% correct. I'm sure there are holes in it. It's been a while since I thought about some of these subjects. The author note at the start of last chapter outright said I'm probably fucking wrong somewhere, I don't care enough, go write your own story, right off the bat, I mean come on.  
> If this story isn't enjoyable to you, this simply isn't the story, and I'm probably not the writer, for you. I'm actually very well-known for purposely fucking up science, history, and canon, for story purposes or for the sake of clarity. I believe things can't possibly be 100% accurate. History and science are always changing anyway. What is wrong today may be right tomorrow, and vice versa. But I get some people can't find enjoyment in that kind of thing. And you know what? That's perfectly okay. My work isn't for everyone, and I know that. If you stop reading it, I wish you the best, and I thank you for giving it a chance anyway.  
> This is the only time I'm going to directly address this shit, don't worry. Finally, off the soap box, this has no images right now barring the mini-bio at the end. I will fix it later, maybe. If I wanna enough. On with the show. (Okay, I did fix it, we'll pretend magic HQ didn't suddenly change in chapter 8 okay? xD)  
> Oh. Why Can't This Be Love, Van Halen.

For once, it was absolutely silent. Ezio had come down for breakfast, Morgyn not far behind, over there making coffee, and neither had said a word to the other. Ezio wasn't sure how to feel about it. There were so many questions in his head, things he wanted to say to Morgyn, things he wanted to talk about. The problem was, as often it was, was that he didn't know how to word it all in the right way. Words were necessary parts of human culture, but were often oh so inefficient for the job they were designed for.

When they were young, sometimes, it felt like Morgyn had simply read his mind, or that he'd simply read Morgyn's mind. He always figured that wasn't what had actually happened, that they simply knew one another well enough to make logical jumps and extrapolate what was most likely going on in the other's mind. Either way, he found that he missed being able to tell what Morgyn was thinking just by looking at the blond in this moment. No, maybe he still could. It hadn't been _that_ long since last he'd done so.

Ezio raised one arm, resting it on the table, his chin in his palm, watching Morgyn wait for the coffee maker. One manicured finger tapped rapidly against Morgyn's arm, and the blond kept shifting weight. That seemed mostly like impatience. He supposed he could just _ask_ … what had they come to, that they needed to _ask_ each other what they felt? Maybe that was a strange thing to base things on, but it heightened the feeling they were growing apart, and it was _probably_ Jackson's fault.

Ezio knew that. It wasn't like he had some kind of idea in his head that Jackson was this perfect little angel, rather the opposite. Everyone made mistakes, of course, though. Holding those mistakes against Jackson seemed like a pretty terrible thing to do, so Ezio tried not to. He did wonder, sometimes. There were days when it felt like Jackson was hiding something, or at least it felt like there was something Jackson wasn't telling him, maybe that wasn't _necessarily_ hiding it. And every time he thought these things out loud, it felt like Drake and Morgyn judged him and told him he was making excuses for him. Maybe he was.

Maybe Ezio just desperately wanted someone to stay, maybe he just wanted to feel like someone besides Morgyn and Drake cared about him, that he was important, for once in his life. Why didn't Morgyn understand that?

"Hey," he said quietly.

Morgyn's green eyes flicked back to look at him. "Hi."

This was so awkward, and Ezio didn't know what to do right now. "How're you?"

"Fine," Morgyn said. "L's got me thinking about some things, sorry I'm a little quiet. You're doing okay too?"

Ezio smiled a little. "Yeah," he answered. "Jackson and I were talking the other night, and he mentioned you two spoke the other day. Wanna tell me what that was about?"

Morgyn glanced at Ezio again, and then turned back to the coffee pot. "You don't like talking about those sorts of things."

Ezio released a sigh, his hand falling onto the table. Morgyn looked back at the sound for a moment. "You tried to chase him off."

"So what if I did?" Morgyn asked.

Ezio didn't know. What was that supposed to mean? What was the _purpose_ of this, exactly? How did Ezio ask and get an actual response? He didn't know the answer to any of those questions. They were miscommunicating, probably. They'd never miscommunicated before, not this badly at least. Ezio didn't know what to do, what move to make here. It was kind of delicate, because he didn't want to set either of them off, but they couldn't just _ignore_ all of this, either.

"I just want to understand _why_ , Morgyn," Ezio said quietly.

Morgyn turned to the floor. Wasn't that the problem of the century? Caleb had suggested being honest about why Morgyn felt the way the blond felt, but truth be told, it wasn't like Morgyn had an answer. The blond had said as much at the time, and the answer hadn't changed at all. But Morgyn was right. Ezio wouldn't accept feelings and hunches, and those weren't solid things to make arguments with, either, especially not something like this.

Ezio wanted to be happy. And Morgyn wanted Ezio to be happy, but whatever happy was… it wasn't this. Ezio wasn't going to find it with Jackson, Morgyn believed that.

"It'd be nice to explain it to you," Morgyn said, fidgeting slightly, glancing at the wall, like it had some answers for the blond. "I want to. But I can't even explain it to myself. He's hurting you. I don't know what makes me think that, why I'm so sure of it, but there it is. I don't think he's in this for you, Ezio. I think he wants something else, and you're just a stepping stone to get to whatever that something else is I and I can't tell you why I feel _that_ way, either, I just _do_." And that wasn't good enough.

Ezio's lips flattened for a moment, and then levelled back out. That was more of an explanation than he'd gotten every other time he asked. Still, he could see Morgyn's point. Convictions that had no evidence were hard to back up. Then, Ezio didn't exactly let Morgyn see everything. There were times and interactions he felt the need to hide from Morgyn and Drake, and something in his head whispered that the reason why was because he knew it was wrong. No. Now wasn't the time to think about that sort of thing.

"It's probably because he's never really here," Morgyn said, one finger tapping against an arm again. "Even when he _is here_ , he's not here. He hardly seems to listen to you, he's got no interest in anything you're doing, and he's physically absent any time he gets the chance to be. It's really just ridiculous."

Ezio frowned. "No, you're wrong about that."

"Am I?" Morgyn asked.

"Yes," Ezio answered. "He shows interest in stuff I'm doing all the time." Ezio couldn't think of anything right _now_ , but he did… right?

"Oh really?" Morgyn asked, head tilting back in disbelief. "Well if he does, go talk about a book or ramble about the stars or something at Drake. Watch his reaction. How he lights up when you do, and how he hangs on every word you say even when he doesn't really understand it. And then do the same thing to Jackson." Morgyn turned around, pouring a cup of coffee, and setting the decanter back into the machine.

"And if you don't understand the damned difference, the point I'm trying to make, I don't know what to say." Morgyn turned on a heel, heading up the stairs that lead to the balcony.

* * *

No one had said anything, that morning, when Morgyn came down wearing no makeup to speak of. The sage's hair was loose and let mostly alone. Morgyn had combed it, but not bothered trying to get it to lay a little smoother than usual. Even Ezio hadn't said anything, but Morgyn wasn't surprised by that. Actually, Morgyn was fairly sure that Ezio hadn't even noticed. They weren't speaking again, but Morgyn figured they wouldn't be. Ezio had to work through whatever was in his heart, and Morgyn was convinced that the blond only had Jean to blame for all of this. For Ezio not understanding what was right in front of him. Because, see, it didn't hurt him. Relationships that didn't cause direct pain were, in his opinion, good. That seemed to be the _only_ standard Ezio had, and it drove Morgyn about _nuts_.

Morgyn shook that off. Now wasn't the time for that. The sage instead focused on not falling off the island switching from one to another. The blond stepped through the portal, and stepped out of another into Caster's Alley. Morgyn _loved_ Caster's Alley. Everyone always came here eventually, and the hustle and bustle of activity was interesting and fun to the blond. Ezio wasn't what one would call a _people person_. Actually, when he'd first come to magic realm, Morgyn remembered, he was jumpy and flighty. Back then, Drake had a much higher rate of hissing at people seemingly randomly, though it usually had something to do with Ezio squealing at someone. Ezio had gotten better, over time, about not losing it every time someone startled him, and Drake hissing at people had dropped in frequency. Morgyn understood it; the blond also hated it when Ezio got like that, often had an overwhelming urge to punch someone every time he squealed like that, but Drake was something else.

It meant that when Ezio and Drake had gotten to the realm, Morgyn had stopped spending quite as much time out in Caster's Alley. It was also a nice place to hide from Aine, as Morgyn figured out, but for some reason it always seemed like Aine reworded things around Ezio, in ways that she wouldn't normally say them. Morgyn always wondered about that, but supposed there was no sense in pondering it too long. There were answers to secrets that Aine took with her when she went. It was for the best, likely.

"Hey Caleb," Morgyn greeted, catching Caleb to one side. For once, he wasn't working the stands, and Morgyn had to stop from staring at him. The blond had forgotten what he looked like in actual clothes. His eyes were lined in eyeliner today. He really did steal Lilith's eyeliner from time to time, his nails painted black, a shard of… glass, perhaps, hanging from one ear. Morgyn had never asked what that was, but he insisted on hanging onto it. It looked good on him, though. Well, actually Morgyn was relatively sure that a potato sack would look good on him. He wore a pair of slacks and a dark coloured shirt with a grey jacket over it, though, and he looked really good in turtlenecks.

"Hey Morgyn," Caleb answered. "You look nice today."

Morgyn could feel the heat rush, and tried to ignore it. "You think so?" Morgyn asked. "Thanks."

Caleb loosed a snort. "You always look nice," he said.

Morgyn probably turned the colour of a chili pepper, and turned away. Caleb loosed an amused sounding snort, but didn't draw attention to it. Morgyn wasn't very good at taking compliments. They seemed to throw the blond off, Caleb had noticed, and he tried not to give them too easily. Sometimes, it was hard not to.

"I think some people wear too much makeup, you know?" he said. "It's kind of nice when someone's not wearing any."

It took Morgyn a few moments to answer, looking up at him and biting one lip, trying to fight the blush back down. Eventually, the blond's weight shifted, head tilting to one side. "Do you think I wear too much?"

Caleb thought about it. "Eh, that's really subjective," he said. "Honestly, you probably shouldn't care much what I think anyway. I just think you're pretty enough without it."

Oh, Morgyn wasn't ready for that answer, either, okay. "I see," Morgyn said.

"Hey, try not to worry about it so much," Caleb said. "How do you feel about it? Do _you_ think you wear too much?"

Wasn't that the question of the century? Morgyn didn't know how the blond felt about _literally anything_ right now. Whether Morgyn wore too much makeup or not was honestly the _least_ of the blond's problems. Mostly, Morgyn was worried about Ezio, and it made it difficult to focus on anything else, difficult to hear that little voice on the inside that L had taught the blond how to hear. Ezio was right, of course he was, about Aine and her influence. If it wasn't for Aine, maybe Morgyn would've figured this all out a long time ago. It was hard to say for certain, but that was certainly how it felt like.

Morgyn's arms crossed, and the blond shrugged a little, pulling the sweater tighter around the sage's shoulders unconsciously. "I don't know." After a moment, Morgyn added, "Sometimes I don't know why I wear it at all, other times it feels like I need it. Like it's a mask that keeps all the confusing and upsetting things in my head from coming out and I can be whatever I need to be." Like as long as it was there, no one would ever see the real Morgyn, whoever that was.

Caleb smiled sadly, glancing down at the stone under them. It was a shield, wasn't it? Like a security blanket, and Caleb couldn't say that Morgyn didn't need it. It was weird, though, that Morgyn didn't have that shield, and Caleb was the person Morgyn had come to. Caleb often was the one Morgyn went to, now that he thought about it. He didn't want to _overthink_ it, however, so he left it there.

"If you don't see a reason to wear it," he said, "then don't."

Morgyn released a snorting laugh. "That sounds so simple when you say it like that. It doesn't _feel_ that simple." Morgyn went quiet, watching the light reflect on the stone. "What do you do if, some days, it feels like 'why do I do this?' and then other days it feels right?"

Caleb shrugged a shoulder. "So do it some days, and not others. What feels right, right now?" he asked.

"This does," Morgyn said. "I don't want people to see me differently."

Caleb smiled, reaching over and prying Morgyn's hands off the blond's arms and taking them in his own. "No one's going to see you differently," Caleb said. "Well, no one _important_ , anyway. Look, you didn't just suddenly morph into someone else, you know? You're still you. And the people that matter, they won't think of you differently because you just don't wear makeup sometimes. Because they see you, and not who they want you to be."

Morgyn's gaze dropped back to the stone. Man, the blond was really struggling with this one. It was so weird to see Morgyn struggling with something, that Caleb honestly didn't know what to do with it. Sometimes, it was easy to forget that Morgyn had fears and insecurities too.

"Hey," he said, tugging gently on Morgyn's hands. Green eyes looked up at grey. "I know this is rough, but I'm not going anywhere, and I can't imagine Ezio is either. It's okay if this takes some time to figure out."

"Is it?" Morgyn asked. "I'm two hundred and… uhh come to think I don't know. I'm two hundred and something, I feel like I should have figured this out already by now."

Caleb snorted softly. "As if you had the space to."

No, Morgyn didn't figure the blond did.

Caleb realised he hadn't let go of Morgyn's hands, and abruptly dropped them. Morgyn couldn't help but notice how cold they felt after he let go, and pulled them back against the blond's body. It was warmer.

"Sorry, I don't know why I came to bother you," Morgyn said.

"No, it's fine," Caleb answered immediately. "It's nice to see you again, I kind of missed you after the All uh, you know."

Yeah, Morgyn did know. "Thanks, for listening," Morgyn said.

"Any time," Caleb answered.

"I should uh, I should go probably, Elise is getting better at Inferniate, we might have something on _fire_ this century," the blond said, turning towards the portal. "So I'll see you later?"

"Yeah," Caleb said. "Good luck." Morgyn headed for the portal, and Caleb turned away. And then turned right back around. "Wait, Morgyn," he called.

Immediately, Morgyn turned around. "Yes?"

What on earth was Caleb thinking? "I… uh, could you tell Ezio that I hope he's doing okay?"

Oh. Morgyn tried not to look disappointed, and just nodded. "Yeah, sure." Yeah… Morgyn nodded again, and then turned back to the portal. Elise probably wasn't going to be setting anything on fire alone.

* * *

It was official. He was Ezio the book returner. It was either that, or he had a serious lack of interest in socialising anymore. That sounded about right, if he had to take a guess. He sighed slightly, somewhere between sliding one book back onto the shelf and another. He tilted his head to the side slightly, his neck cracked in odd places, and Ezio _might've_ glanced at the wall like it'd insulted his mother. And then there was a pale hand reaching around him to slide a book onto the shelf.

He turned to look up and see who it was, and Drake smiled at him. "Sorry," he said. "I didn't want to disturb you."

Oh. "Oh." Ezio snorted. "Of course you're the only one that can put the stupid books back when you're done with them. You'd think I was asking them to build a rocket with a couple of wooden crates, eesh."

"That bad still?" Drake asked.

Ezio wordlessly gestured at the small pile of books beside him. It was around ten or eleven books deep, so it could have, and certainly had, been worse. Ezio might be being dramatic about this one for the sake of it, but _damn it_ , sometimes, he just wanted to complain.

"That's a number," Drake said, kneeling down beside him. "Want some help?"

"I got it, it's okay," Ezio answered. "You've probably got more important things to do than help me with some stupid books, anyway."

"Not today," Drake answered.

"Really?" Ezio asked, tilting his head. "You don't have to go see the Essairs or something?"

"Nope," Drake said. "Kassander's busy with something, and I'm not sure what Sandalio's doing. Probably work, he does that a lot." It did tend to pay the bills, of course. "They have another one, Hasan, but I've never seen him before." Actually, Drake wasn't sure how he was an Essair in the first place. He'd never asked.

"Oh." Ezio was a little pleased about that. Then, he remembered what Morgyn said. _And if you don't understand the damned difference, the point I'm trying to make, I don't know what to say._ Ezio looked thoughtful for a moment, and then asked, "Soo… feel like keeping me company at least?"

Drake smiled. "Sure." It was a silly question, in his opinion, but Ezio always asked things like that. Drake was never upset to spend time with Ezio, rather the opposite. It was disappointing when Jackson was by. Ezio was usually busy doing other things, and they didn't speak much. It was for the best, though. Ezio had a boyfriend.

"Morgyn's always too busy to sit and shelve books with me," Ezio said. "I'm glad Morgyn got promoted, I really am, but sometimes I miss the dolt."

"I think that's normal, Ezio," Drake said.

Ezio went quiet, thinking, and then slid another book onto the shelf. "I think we're drifting apart."

Drake tilted his head. "What makes you think that?"

Ezio released a sigh. "Morgyn came downstairs for breakfast the other day, and we didn't say anything to one another."

Ahh. Drake snorted. "Ezio, you know being upset with each other isn't quite the same thing as drifting apart, right?"

"Isn't it?" Ezio asked.

"No, it isn't. You two get angry with each other all the time, I've never seen it keep you apart for long. Actually, it seems to bring you closer together. You'll get through this one, just like you get through everything."

Maybe he was right. Ezio did think something about how Drake was awfully privy to their affairs, huh? Apparently he was quite right.

"What've you been doing, anyway?" Drake asked.

Ezio snorted. "Oh you know, nerdy stuff," he said. Grey eyes glanced at Drake, saw the interest in that look on his face, like he hoped Ezio would talk more about it. It wasn't anything _interesting_ , he didn't think. Still, he remembered what Morgyn had said. There was so much of him that wanted to deny it, reject it right out of hand. Of _course_ Jackson had interest in things he did. But there was that tiny little voice… "I was trying to figure out if the comets here are real ones," he said.

"I don't think they are, actually," Drake said. "I don't think anything here is notably real. The sun doesn't bother me the way it should, at least."

That much was true. Ezio snorted. "Yeah, I remember that. I got caught up in remembering what I know about comets, and I think they're _technically_ the same thing actually. All comets are is some kind of large object, usually made of ice, some rock and dust. I think these things that fall from our sky are probably some kind of rock particles, maybe pieces of the islands that have come apart due to damage from the vortex, and I guess they fall from somewhere."

"Is that possible?" Drake asked.

"Well theoretically it is," Ezio answered. "I don't quite understand how the vortex works, but if it was suspending these pieces of the islands in the sky somewhere, which is theoretically not a sky anyway and thus logically it might have an end somewhere, then it might lose command of those particles and -" Ezio paused, looking at Drake. Morgyn was right. He could see it, in Drake's eyes, he wasn't quite following what Ezio meant, but still, he hung on every word Ezio said.

"… And…?" Drake prompted.

"Sorry, right, might lose command of the particles and drop them, and then they'd fall. Comets of course get too close to a star, and start warming up, and this causes the release of gases, it's called outgassing. It produces a miniature visible atmosphere called a coma, and sometimes a bow shock. I'm not sure what exactly would cause it to start warming and outgassing here, but I suppose just the act of falling might theoretically cause a warm-up thanks to air resistance. I mean whatever's up there can't actually be a vacuum like in space, because there's not enough mass down here to trap an atmosphere." That was really something he'd have to experiment with to find answers for.

"What's the bright stuff that streaks after a comet, anyway?" Drake asked.

"Oh, that's a comet tail," Ezio answered. "When a comet gets close to the sun, solar radiation causes it to start vaporising and stream out of it. There's two different tails a comet can have, the dust tail, and the gas tail, and I think you can see both of them if you're lucky."

"Wait, comets have two tails?" Drake asked. "And what's a bow shock?"

"Yeah, you remember what I said about outgassing, right? I mean it's gotta go somewhere. The dust tail is caused by the materials in the comet nuclei vaporising, and these materials carry dust with them. And the bow shock is the term for the little barrier looking thing in front of comets sometimes. The closer to the sun the comet gets, the higher the outgassing rate goes, which makes the coma expand, the sunlight ionises gases in the coma, and solar wind passes through and forms the bow shock. The dust tail usually goes away from it in kind of a curve, but the gas tail, also called the ion tail, points away from the sun, because it's more strongly affected by solar wind." Ezio paused, sliding a book onto the shelf, and looked up at Drake. "… I'm sorry, that was a lot of rambling."

Strangely, Drake was smiling. "I didn't mind," Drake said. "You know a lot of stuff about what's up there. I've never thought about it too much, but I like hearing about it from you."

Ezio did have to wonder why that was. He was afraid to ask, so, he didn't.

"What's solar wind?" Drake asked suddenly.

Ezio smiled. Apparently, today Drake was thinking about what was up there.

* * *

He'd read this book probably six times by now, but it was always something of an adventure to re-read it. Often, Ezio found that the first time he read a book, he paid attention to certain things, and then on subsequent re-reads, he discovered things that he missed the first time around, _really_ paid attention to the content. It was like discovering an old friend again, learning new things about someone you'd known for years. Ezio didn't need people. He had books.

He'd propped his head up on one hand, the other flipping the pages as needed. Eventually, his wrist would start to hurt, but it wasn't like it mattered to him right now. He could deal with that when it happened, and right now, he was too busy being caught up with the main character of the story he was reading. This character wasn't necessarily a _good_ one. Most would tell him that reading things with main characters that weren't necessarily _good_ was going to turn his head all kinds of screwy and mess up his sense of morality. He'd been reading books like this one since books like this had existed, however, and he was still quite sane and knew which way was right, thank you.

Well, _mostly_ he knew which way was right. Morals weren't necessarily clear cut and straight-forward. That was what made them difficult, and fascinating.

He tilted his head to the other side, and it popped softly, just as the door opened. Jackson wandered in, leaned over the bed to press a kiss to Ezio's temple, and he headed for the closet.

"Welcome back," Ezio said. Silently, he reached over and pulled the bookmark off the side table, and tucked it between the pages.

"Hey, yeah, thanks," Jackson said in response.

"How was your day?" Ezio asked. Usually, Jackson got to it first, but today, Ezio was half waiting for him to come back. He'd spent five hours talking to Drake about comet anatomy, and solar wind, and how stars worked, and random other things like black holes and the stray knowledge of exoplanets Ezio had here and there. Drake never stopped smiling.

He wanted to know what Jackson was going to do, even as he was afraid to find out.

"Fine enough," Jackson answered, shuffling into the closet to change. "I spent most of it out in Glimmerbrook, actually. It's pretty in the winter. Not my thing, I hate the cold, eugh, but it's nice once in a while."

"Yeah," Ezio answered. "I think I'd get sick of it eventually." Magic realm was already too much of the same thing to him as it was. He'd managed to tolerate it for a couple hundred years, at least, he supposed that deserved something of a congratulations.

"How's your day been?" Jackson asked.

"Alright," Ezio said. He hesitated a moment, listening to the sound of the hangers rattling in the closet. "I had help putting the books away today, and we spent some time talking about comets."

"That sounds nice," Jackson said.

"He had a lot of questions though," Ezio went on. "I think I ended up telling him at least most of the stuff I know about astronomy in general. I swear I've told him that stuff before though. Maybe he forgot or something. Anyway, I forgot how much I love astronomy. If I had the ability to, I think I'd become an astronaut. I hear some time ago we finally managed to do an untethered space walk, and that sounds like a lot of fun to me. You have to go through some training and stuff to be able to function without gravity and all that, but I've had some interest in doing that since I was really young and had no idea what a star was."

"That's cool," Jackson said from the closet.

Ezio's heart sank, but he took a breath in. "I was telling Drake about comets earlier because there were some theories as to when a certain comet was going to come back, or at least what we think is the same comet. There are a bunch of historical records and stories about this comet, and based on what we know about the comet itself and comparisons to the mentions in historical record, we think it's the same one. That'd mean that comets probably have some kind of a highly elliptical orbit around the sun, if they can be seen from our planet multiple times over the course of a long period of time. I actually wonder if comets start to outgas closer to the sun and then as they fly back into deep space become inactive again and regain some of the gases and debris they're comprised -"

"Hey Ezio," Jackson said, "have you seen the black tie I had right here? I need it tomorrow."

Ezio fell silent. He could feel the sting of disappointment, and almost started to cry, but he pulled it back. "It's in the top drawer of the dresser," he said softly.

"Thanks," Jackson replied, moving to look through the dresser.

_And if you don't understand the damned difference, the point I'm trying to make, I don't know what to say._

Why was Morgyn _always_ right? And why was it always a lie, when Ezio thought he'd found some shred of happiness? Ezio stood up, smoothing the bed-sheets out, and moved to the door. He needed to be anywhere else right now.

"Hey, baby, weren't you saying something?" Jackson asked. "Something about astronauts."

Ezio paused by the door, his hand on the doorknob. "Don't worry about it, Jackson," he said. "It wasn't important." The last thing Ezio needed right now was Jackson getting on his case about being upset, so he quickly opened the door, stepped out into the hall, and closed the door behind him. Jackson was just busy, that was all. He didn't necessarily have the time to bother with Ezio and his stupid ideas of being an astronaut. Like hell that'd ever happen, anyway. Ezio never got anything he wanted, thanks to whatever was wrong with his heart, and what he did get, he had to fight tooth and nail for.

Maybe he was tired of fighting. Now wasn't the time to be being so damned dramatic over nothing. Ezio released a sigh, and then headed down the stairs. He could use some tea.

* * *

A distinct _fwump_ sounded as Morgyn dropped the handful of clothing onto the blond's bed. It was mostly comprised of grey, white, and black, and might be mostly Ezio's clothes, but Morgyn had decided that today, _none_ of the blond's varying clothes felt right. The _last_ time that had happened, something in Ezio's closet had felt more correct, so maybe that would hold true today, too.

Morgyn reached into the pile, and pulled out one of the shirts the blond had nicked. Not that one. Morgyn tossed that one at the pillows, pulling another one out. That one might work. Morgyn turned around to face the mirror, held it up. It looked like it would _fit_ at least. Morgyn wasn't sure if that was what felt like it'd be right today, or not. That in mind, though, the blond shuffled into the closet, changing really quickly, and then came back to look at it. It wasn't a very tight fit, but it had a way of dampening the blond's curves, and _that_ felt right. Morgyn would have to find something else to do with the chest issue. The blond could keep using scarves, but eventually, that'd get annoying, or become too impractical.

Morgyn turned back around, shuffling through the pile of Ezio's shirts again, just in case a different one jumped out and seemed like it'd suit better.

Amid Morgyn rummaging through Ezio's clothes, someone knocked on the door. Morgyn looked up. "Come in," the blond answered. The door opened, and L stepped in, closing the door behind her gently.

"You're a bit late," L said. Her violet eyes fell onto the clothing pile, noted the particular colour schemes, and smiled knowingly. "… I see. You can't figure out what to wear."

"I want something that's not quite _masculine_ , but not really girly, either," Morgyn answered. L seemed to have a better grasp of this crap than the blond did, maybe something would make sense to her. "I don't like my curves today."

"Well, what you're wearing looks okay," L said. "Grey isn't really your colour, though, but I suppose that's what happens when you borrow your brother's clothes. I'd say you could ask Drake, but he wears a lot of black and grey too. Hmm. We have boring men around here."

Despite the annoyance, Morgyn snorted. L always did know how to make Morgyn laugh. Much like it did for Caleb, it seemed to work even when the blond was in a bad mood. Morgyn wondered if there was a trick to that, or if it was a simple matter of Morgyn liking them, as people, having a bond to speak of with them. Caleb was the only person Morgyn really talked to most of the time, besides Aine.

Aine never had that ability, though.

"What's wrong?" L asked.

Green eyes looked up at L, and then Morgyn loosed a groan, and dropped face-first into the pile of clothing on the bed. "I feel so _weird_ today," Morgyn answered, the words muffled.

L understood them anyway, gently settling down beside the blond on the bed. "I imagine you do," she said.

Morgyn's head raised and the blond loosed a huff. "When does it… you know, start making _sense_?"

"You can't rush these things, Morgyn," L said, her tone slightly chiding. "You'll probably have to try a few things before anything starts to feel remotely right. It's a process, not something you can do overnight."

"I hate it already," Morgyn grumbled.

"I know you do," L replied. "This was bound to happen. There aren't a lot of words in use for these kinds of things. Expressing how you feel is something that's important to everyone, but also very hard. Sometimes it feels like words just aren't enough. I figure that's why humans love music so much. You know, I've yet to find someone that doesn't at least have a few songs they _like_." As she spoke, L picked a shirt out of the pile, holding it up in front of Morgyn. "They may not _love_ music in general, but they don't _hate_ it. You hate your curves today?"

"Yes," Morgyn grumbled in response.

"Oh come on now, how old are you?" L asked, reaching out and lightly smacking Morgyn's arm. The blond had slouched against the foot of the bed. "Come on, sit up, look at least _kind of_ awake, we'll figure this out."

Morgyn sighed, but sat up. "I don't really want to be girly, but I kind of want to wear a skirt. That's really stupid."

"Why?" L asked.

"Because," Morgyn argued, "I can't do both, you know? I either be really girly or I don't."

"Remember what I said?" L asked. "Clothes don't have a gender. You can mix and match them any way you want to. People might look at you a little funny, but at least they've got something to look at, right? Clothing, like a lot of things, are a form of expression, and whatever that expression means to you, that's what's important. Someday, other people will get with the programme, or they won't. That's no business of yours. I think you're looking at this a little too black and white, too, for lack of better phrasing. Why _can't_ it be some kind of shade of grey? It doesn't always have to be a this-way or a that-way. Maybe sometimes it's a sliding scale. A spectrum, like colours perhaps, and where you land on the scale varies. Sometimes you may be really blue, and other times you're more of a cyan-green."

Morgyn arched an eyebrow. "I don't think gender's a spectrum."

"Why not?" L asked. "It's an expression. It can be anything you want it to be. Besides, you're not the first person to decide your gender expression on a certain day isn't quite male or female. Somewhere in-between, maybe both, who knows. The point is, obviously it isn't a binary. Stop thinking of it as a binary."

Morgyn's lips scrunched to one side. "I guess."

"You _guess_ ," L said, snorting. "Here, this looks like it'll hide your curves, and you can wear a skirt under it. I think you'd be pretty cute, and hopefully, feel a little better." L stood up, shuffling back out the door and closing it behind her. Morgyn listened to her heels tapping down the hallway. It wasn't a binary, huh? Morgyn was still having a hard time making sense of gender not being a binary. Maybe the blond would never get it. Morgyn looked at the shirt in the blond's hand, released a sigh, and then stood up to find a skirt that would match.


	9. The Sacrifice of Hiding in a Lie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Domestic violence is a rough thing to deal with, it's pretty rough to come to terms with, and honestly, I want to give a shout-out to all of those that are dealing with something like this in real-life, right now, with no way out because of the pandemic. My heart is with you. I don't know you, but I love you. Please do what you need to to get yourself somewhere safe.  
> Pushing Me Away, Linkin Park.

"Do we have to stay here?" the woman asked. Long brown hair was loosely tied back behind her, henna tattoos decorating dusky-skinned hands that held a fluffy Burmese cat, one eye green and the other blue. The woman's grey eyes looked up at the tall, narrow house. She wasn't sure if she could make anything of this mess.

"You don't," the other woman answered. They looked alike, in the facial structure, but she was a little darker, and had black hair, resting over her shoulder, and violet eyes. "If you want to, you're free to go your own way. We have business with the Count, that is all."

The brown-haired woman frowned. "Sarnai, I don't think you should be getting involved with -"

Sarnai snorted. "It's the Count that ought be afraid of us," she said. Sarnai tossed her head back, moving some of the ebony strands out of her face, and then walked across the courtyard, towards the large mansion on the hill.

The brown-haired woman released a sigh, setting the cat down. "Watch the house for me, okay Kit?"

She only got a confused head tilt in response, but she knew Kit had understood. He always did. She turned, then, and scurried after Sarnai.

"You should stay home for this, Lakshmi," Sarnai said, violet eyes glancing behind her as Lakshmi scurried up.

"I think I won't, thank you," Lakshmi answered. Sarnai hadn't been in her right mind for a few years now. Every time Lakshmi thought she was used to it, something _else_ Sarnai did threw her off. Sometimes, she spoke in a language Lakshmi didn't understand, but it was too methodical and orderly to be random gibberish. When Lakshmi asked her to repeat it, she even managed to fully repeat exactly what she'd just said in that strange language, but repetition didn't magically give Lakshmi the ability to understand. Lakshmi didn't understand what had changed in her sister, either. But there were some things perhaps she never would understand. Even so, it didn't stop her from trying. Something had changed, drastically, and Lakshmi wanted to know what was different. She wouldn't figure it out staying at home.

"Suit yourself," Sarnai said, shrugging. Sarnai's nonchalant manner did nothing to ease the anxiety coiling in Lakshmi's stomach as she followed her sister up the walkway. Why was this house so separate from the rest? Maybe it was an important site.

The two women made it to the house, and through the gigantic entry gate. Lakshmi spent a moment looking at it, turning around as they walked under it to look at the iron work and detailing. It was pretty, if you were into that. Lakshmi turned back around, scurrying after Sarnai as the black-haired woman marched up to the door and knocked loudly. Lakshmi cast an uncertain sideways gaze at her sister, but didn't say anything. Sarnai rarely ever listened to her now, anyway.

The door opened on its own, and, as they walked in, Lakshmi noticed a tall, pale man with sharp features, blue eyes, and white hair standing in the entry. Beside him stood a slightly less pale, black haired woman with dark brown eyes. Lakshmi immediately knew, just from looking at them, they were both vampires, and fairly powerful ones.

"I assume, Sitkamose?" the man asked. The woman shifted nervously beside him, glancing at him for a moment, but she didn't say anything, at least, not out loud. It was said vampires could learn to be telepathic among each other. Lakshmi had never seen it in person. At least, she hadn't seen it as far as she knew. The man glanced at the black-haired woman in return but only for a split second.

"Of course," Sarnai answered.

Lakshmi had to wonder what a Sitkamose was. Sometimes, Sarnai said that in the slurs of that language Lakshmi didn't understand. Did this man know what language that was and what she said? She was afraid to ask. Perhaps, too afraid to ask _ever_.

"There's official business to attend to, it would seem," Sarnai said, shuffling to the side to trace the stone of one of the statues in the entryway.

"Official business?" the man asked.

"Vlad I wouldn't trust -" the woman started, but the man, Vlad, cut her off.

"Silence, Lilith," he said.

Lilith, it would seem, did not take that command very well. Her body stiffened considerably, and Lakshmi thought she saw her nostrils flare in annoyance, before she turned back to face the sisters. The annoyance was clear in her eyes, even as she stayed her tongue.

"There is a spellcaster," Sarnai said, her tone airy, but Lakshmi recognised the bands of amusement in her tone - she'd heard the exchange with Lilith. "And this spellcaster has an offer for you, if you're willing to hear it out."

"I don't make a habit of interacting with _spellcasters_ , of all things," Vlad responded cooly. "The spellcasters mind their own business, and we mind ours. That is how it's been for _centuries_ , give me a good reason why that should change now."

Sarnai smirked. "The spellcaster needs Forgotten Hollow's strength," she said, walking back to the centre of the entryway, just in front of Lakshmi. "Of course, the spellcaster doesn't expect this for free, no. In return for the Hollow's strength, she's offered to make our lives as vampires easier, and offer cures for those who wish for it."

The idea was clearly preposterous, judging by how bewildered, and perhaps a touch _offended_ , Lilith looked. If Vlad felt anything in response to this declaration, it didn't show, not in his face, nor in his body. Lakshmi couldn't quite make out the glittering in his eyes from this distance.

"It sounds terribly pretty," Sarnai went on, her weight shifting. "But we wouldn't trust it if we were you. You remember what happened the _last_ time anyone trusted the spellcasters."

"If that legend is even to be believed," Vlad said, his tone slightly drawling. "We've no evidence the vanir even exist at all, much less that the legends are true. Still, I had no intention of trusting anyone. The Hollow isn't mine to barter with. We continue to have no reason to get involved in the affairs of spellcasters."

"Your answer is no?" Sarnai asked.

"What else would it be?" Vlad asked. Forgotten Hollow was barely unified as it was, a hodge-podge mish-mash of strays that Vladislaus had taken in over the centuries, but it wasn't as if he _commanded_ them. The Hollow was not an army, and unfortunately for this spellcaster, it sounded like that was what they wanted. An army of vampires. Vladislaus almost became giddy at the thought of what one could do with an army of vampires, but, no. That was far too much effort.

Sarnai snorted softly, her weight shifting again. "We think, should you turn this alliance down, you might yet regret it later."

Vladislaus' gaze narrowed. "I have regretted a great many things in my life," he said. "Absolutely _none_ of them have killed me."

Lakshmi glanced at Sarnai. Sarnai simply looked amused, the light in those violet eyes dancing with anticipation. "This is our sister," she said, turning to look at Lakshmi for a moment. "She will be living here with us."

"Good to know," Vlad said.

"Welcome to the Hollow," Lilith murmured.

Lakshmi started to answer, but Sarnai cut her off. "We'll go. We only came to tell you of the spellcaster's offer. It was good to see you again." Sarnai turned on her heel, walking back towards the door.

Lakshmi scurried after her, but then Sarnai stopped abruptly.

"Vladislaus," Sarnai said, not turning around. "Remember that there is a first time for everything."

Lakshmi glanced behind them for but a split second, before following Sarnai out the door.

"What the fuck was that?" Lilith asked, as soon as the sisters were out of range.

Vladislaus rolled his eyes. "There is a storm coming, remember?" Vlad answered. "This is that storm. Do you remember anything I say to you, child?"

"Yes," Lilith answered. "… mostly."

Vlad snorted. "At least you're honest," he said, turning and heading into the manor.

Lilith could see it, though, as he moved. Despite brushing off the woman's words, he was clearly affected by them, and thinking about them.

"You're not seriously considering it, are you?" she asked.

"The spellcasters are at war with one another, Lilith," Vlad answered. "Unfortunately, as often we are, it is entirely possible the vampires will be caught in the crossfire. Now, you and I know that there are vampires here that cannot handle a conflict of that sort of magnitude. Your brother, for instance, would likely be lost. No one in magic realm seems aware of this particular threat, however, so we have time, but there are dangerous things at play here."

"I have friends in magic realm," Lilith said. "I could warn them-"

"Don't," Vlad interrupted. "The spellcasters and their problems aren't _our_ problems, there is a nice, thick line between the two, don't go mixing them up now."

"They're my _friends_ ," Lilith replied, her tone offended.

"Are they?" Vlad asked. "Of course it's all well and good to think such things, but I wonder… if they feel the same on the matter. If, when push comes to shove, they won't turn on you."

"Of course not," Lilith answered. "Not everyone is _you_!"

Vladislaus' eyes narrowed again. "I understand that you have a strong attachment to these spellcasters of yours, but the fact of the matter is this has potential to pit our two races against one another, and I highly doubt anything you can do will stop it, particularly if they decide to use that All of theirs to its greatest potential. As it happens, as well, they have no idea what is going on, and neither do we know that much either. It is best to let this one lie. Alerting them too early, when we don't have all the information yet anyway, would only end in whoever this is withdrawing to the shadows. No, Lilith. It is best to feign ignorance here, that your enemy runs his mouth far too much."

* * *

The coffee pot spat and gurgled, unleashing the last bit of its bean-juice. Was that a juice? Probably, quite technically, it wasn't a juice at all, but bean juice sounded nice in Morgyn's head, so the blond was going to keep it. The sage reached over, pouring a cup, and then turned around. And _yelped_ , nearly dropping the cup.

Caleb, sitting at one of the stools at the bar, instinctively reached over the counter to steady Morgyn, laughing. "I'm sorry," he said. "I didn't mean to startle you."

"How did you _do_ that?" Morgyn asked. "I'm usually much better at picking up on vampire signatures right behind me."

"Well, you do kind of live with Drake, you know?" Caleb said.

Morgyn had to admit he had a point with that. The blond shrugged and then took a drink of coffee and set the cup down on the counter. Today was a makeup day, but what Morgyn was wearing wasn't notably feminine. "I suppose," Morgyn answered. "Oh, I didn't get a chance last we spoke, how have you been?"

Caleb smiled slightly. "I'm doing better now," he said.

"You weren't doing so well before?" Morgyn asked.

That wasn't what Caleb meant. He laughed slightly, releasing a huff of air, smiling, and shook his head. He meant that things were a bit better now that Morgyn was back, but maybe he shouldn't say that. "Stuff's a bit weird back home," he said instead. "Lilith's probably involved in it, because she can't keep her snoot to herself sometimes. I worry about her a lot."

"Yeah, I know that feeling," Morgyn said. Morgyn knew it all too damned well, but they'd already spent far too long on Morgyn's problems of late. "Congratulations on finally being free from the Alley, though. Seems like everyone wants your help out there."

"Of course," Caleb said, snorting. "Everyone knows me, and I don't have to _sleep_."

Morgyn snorted. "I have to wonder why no one bothers Drake about it."

"Probably because he's a bit better at telling people to fuck off than I am," Caleb said.

"You should work on that," Morgyn said, taking another drink of coffee.

Caleb didn't think he would. It also gave him a good excuse to be _here_ , and of course… Morgyn was here. "Yeah, so I should," he said. "How's everything with Ezio? He's doing okay?"

Morgyn released a sigh, setting the coffee cup down. "He's been stable at least," Morgyn answered. Whatever was wrong with his heart, it came and went. Sometimes he'd go long stretches of time being okay, and then one day it'd all come crashing down again, right around when Morgyn and Drake stopped worrying about it so much and started to forget that there was anything wrong with him at all. It was almost infuriating how he was okay and then he wasn't, just like that, no rhyme or reason. Morgyn was sure there was _some_ reason, somewhere, but hadn't found it.

"And with Jackson?" Caleb asked.

"He's still here," Morgyn answered. "Except that he's never here at all. Ezio's still okay with this. I told him to do one of his nerdy rambles at Drake and then Jackson and watch the difference between them, but I don't know if he ever did or not. He's _convinced_ there's nothing wrong with his relationship with Jackson, but it feels like _everything_ is. I just, I can't find it."

"You'll figure it out," Caleb said quietly. "I don't know anyone smarter than you. Except maybe Ezio, but he's too personally invested in this to see its flaws, I should think."

That sounded about right. Morgyn released a sigh, tapping on the counter. Then, a thought crossed the blond's mind. "You're always in Caster's Alley," Morgyn said. "That's where Jackson _supposedly_ hangs out…"

Caleb distinctly did not like the sound of where this was going. "I… s-um. Yes?"

"So?" Morgyn asked. "You've gotta know _something_ useful to the cause."

"Cause? What cause? Never mind." Maybe that wasn't the important part. "Yes, I know some things, I've heard some shit, I've seen stuff, but I'm not telling _you_ anything."

"What?" Morgyn answered. "Why?"

Caleb shifted in his seat, releasing a sigh. "Morgyn, look," he said. "I know your heart's in the right place. I know you mean well. But there is a line here, and I think you've crossed it."

Morgyn's green eyes stared into Caleb's grey ones, for a long moment. And then the blond released a sigh, arms crossing. "You think I should butt out and mind my own business, huh?"

"I wasn't going to use those words, exactly, but yes," Caleb answered.

"I don't want to see him get hurt again," Morgyn said.

"I know that," Caleb replied. "But Morgyn, at this rate you're not going to see it merely because he shoved you out of his life. From his point of view, right now, you're just being a busy-body that hates all of his boyfriends for no reason. You and I know you have a reason, but he needs to know that, too, and you can't make him see it if he doesn't want to. And you, Morgyn, are the one person that shouldn't be hurting him."

Morgyn looked like the blond was just about ready to unleash on him and argue, but then, all the steam released at once, and Morgyn deflated.

Caleb raised his hands. "Hey, I know that's how you deal with things, you communicate in disruption, I get it," he said. "But Ezio _doesn't_." Morgyn was trying to make a point, he understood that, and probably some part of Ezio understood that, too. Caleb had a hard time imagining he didn't after this long living with Morgyn. But in situations like this one, Morgyn had to come down to Ezio's level, not expect Ezio to rise to the blond's. Ezio didn't understand disruption and chaos the same way. And Caleb thought that this _being_ a disruption like Morgyn usually created made it easier for Ezio to ignore it. Of course Morgyn was being disruptive. Morgyn always _was_ , it didn't necessarily mean anything.

Morgyn's head tilted to one side. Caleb was right, and Morgyn knew it. That was the worst part, wasn't it? Knowing that the choices the blond was making were wrong for this situation, and yet not being able to stop making them. Everything in Morgyn said to fight it. It wasn't always like that. Once, it was Morgyn that was the quiet one, that didn't make any waves, and Ezio that fought everything that breathed wrong. Morgyn wondered when that changed. And then Morgyn figured it didn't matter. Ezio lost his freedom to give Morgyn the same. Maybe that was why, whenever there were times when Morgyn _knew_ Ezio wouldn't fight, and _needed_ to, Morgyn rose to the occasion instead.

"I don't know how to let go of it," Morgyn said.

Caleb took a breath in. "Focus on other things," he said. "Don't walk away entirely. Ezio's going to need you, when he finally understands. But give him the space to figure it out on his own. You can say that the tree is there all you want. Until he turns around and _looks_ at it, it's all just words."

* * *

Mornings were always busy, because everyone seemed to think Morgyn was a morning person (admittedly, the blond kind of was), and tended to ask all of their questions first thing in the morning. Not that it was terribly easy to tell when it was morning around here, anyway. By afternoon, things started to level out, and Morgyn came down for a cup of coffee, as a nice afternoon pick-me-up.

Ezio was down, it'd seem, sitting at one of the tables and reading something, a cup of tea and half of a sandwich sitting on the wood beside him.

"What're you reading?" Morgyn asked, bustling around the kitchen making coffee.

" _The Restaurant at the End of the World_ ," Ezio answered idly.

Morgyn raised an eyebrow, turning towards him. "Haven't you read that six times?"

"Eight," Ezio corrected, "but I keep finding stuff I missed in it."

"We should go to the bookstore and get you more books," Morgyn said, filling the water container for the coffee pot.

"That's okay," Ezio said. "I've got plenty of books, I just like reading this one." The truth was, Ezio had a lot more books than what were on his shelves in his room. Jackson didn't like them taking up so much space, and the fifth time he'd tripped over a stack of books about Nordic mythology, he'd thrown quite the hissy fit and insisted they be moved somewhere else, or, as he said, he'd deal with it himself and they were ending up in a fireplace. Ezio had moved them into the basement storage the next day, with Drake's help, but digging them back up just to read them was more trouble than it was worth.

"If you say so," Morgyn said. "You can borrow some of mine if you want. Lord knows I have _way_ too many of them, some of them I think I haven't even read yet, I just got them on the off chance I'd have some time to read them."

Ezio made a face, laying his head on the back of the chair to look at Morgyn, slightly upside down. "Maybe _you_ should read them," Ezio said. "They're your books, not mine. I have my own."

"Yeah, where _did_ the rest of your books go, anyway?"

If he told the truth, Morgyn would undoubtedly go off on another tangent about Jackson, and Ezio wasn't in the mood for another one of those. Ezio shrugged. "I moved them to storage," he said.

"Oh." Morgyn wondered why, but the blond didn't ask. What was that thing Caleb said, about stepping back and giving Ezio the space to… figure out Jackson was up to no good, Morgyn thought it was, but maybe it'd be nice if Ezio started talking to the blond again. It was all shallow, now. Morgyn understood why, but missed the days when they talked like there was nothing in their way. That time might be over. Morgyn wanted it back.

"How's the sage thing going?" Ezio asked.

Morgyn snorted softly. "Fine enough," the blond answered. "Elise is figuring out Inferniate finally. Thank you, for helping with her."

"Nah," Ezio said. "You're not always good with words, Morgyn, but you've got a passion that I lack. You just have to believe you can do it too. You need to see yourself the way _I_ see you."

Morgyn snorted again. "I don't think I ever will. I don't know what you see in me." The same thing Morgyn saw in Ezio, maybe? It couldn't be, because Ezio and Morgyn were so different, they were almost like night and day. What was interesting was, much like the sun and the moon did, Ezio and Morgyn traded places off and on. Sometimes, Morgyn was the strong one. Other times, Ezio was. It'd been like that, a seemingly endless cycle, for two hundred years now, and yet if anything changed, Morgyn would feel very lost.

When Ezio was gone, who else would be the sun, when Morgyn needed to be the moon?

"I know," Ezio said, resting his arm between the pages of the book, that he didn't lose his place. "I don't know what you see in me, either."

Morgyn smiled. "Maybe we're not supposed to understand."

"Yeah, maybe not." It wasn't like Ezio was privy to the universe's grand design, whatever that was. Most of the time, he didn't want to be, either. "I think you're doing better, though. No one's gotten set on _fire_ , that's a decent start."

Morgyn snorted. "Ha ha, aren't you funny." He had a point, Morgyn supposed. The blond did have a habit of setting people that were annoying on fire. It never caused permanent damage, anyway. "Hey," Morgyn said. "I love you. You know that, right?"

Ezio glanced down at his lap. "I know. I love you, too."

"I just wanted to make sure you know," Morgyn said. The coffee pot began gurgling, and Morgyn turned around to pour a cup. "Have fun reading your book," Morgyn said, shuffling around towards the staircase. As Morgyn headed out into the centre courtyard, Jackson passed by the doorway, and Morgyn stopped.

Ezio looked up at the blond. "What's wrong?" he asked. That was a very abrupt stop, and those were unlike Morgyn. Typically, if the blond stopped suddenly like that, it meant something had crossed the blond's mind.

"When is Jackson leaving?" Morgyn asked.

Ezio wasn't expecting that question, but in hindsight, he didn't know why. "A few days," Ezio answered.

Morgyn's eyebrows furrowed together, and the blond turned to look at him. "In a few days?" Morgyn repeated. "But that's so _soon_."

Ezio's features scrunched up in confusion. "I figured you'd be happy he's going away so quick."

Internally, yes, Morgyn was very glad Jackson wasn't going to be around much longer, but also thought that was utter _bullshit_. "He should stay a little longer," Morgyn said. "He's never here for longer than maybe five days, I think. Doesn't he want to spend time with you? This looks really bad, I hope you know. … Ezio, haven't you ever wondered why-"

"Stop it," Ezio interrupted. "I don't want to hear this again."

Morgyn went quiet, watching him. "Ezio, I just want you to be _happy_."

Ezio snorted. "I'd be a lot happier if you stopped trying to ruin what little bit of happiness I do have."

Morgyn fell silent again. The blond could understand why it felt like that, but that _wasn't_ what Morgyn was doing. Of course, Morgyn remembered what Caleb had said. And he was right then, and he was right now. "Ezio, I-"

"Elise isn't going to figure Inferniate out on her own," Ezio interrupted.

There was another pause of silence. "I guess she won't," Morgyn said quietly, and then turned back to the courtyard, and moved for the stairs. Ezio closed his eyes for a moment, breathing in. Would it always end this way?

* * *

"We'll be taking a trip around the main island first," Jackson said, presently lying in Ezio's lap. "The trip out to Mua Pel'am has to be careful, the island's already in a bad way thanks to tourism, and if I had to guess, maybe a little something to do with the monsoons washing up ocean debris."

For the most part, Ezio wasn't listening. He got a long lecture about Sulani's ecosystem and how Mua Pel'am conservation was important, and the volcano was whatever the volcano was, and so on, every time Jackson went to Sulani. It was interesting the first few times, but Jackson never did seem to know anything new about it, simply repeating the things he'd already said ad infinitum, and rehashing things they'd already gone over wasn't enough to keep Ezio's attention. Come to think of it, he wondered how many times Jackson had seen specifically Mua Pel'am. In hindsight, Ezio couldn't remember how many times Jackson had gone to Sulani to help study the volcano or the water conditions, but it felt like he'd heard that song several times already.

He didn't ask.

Ezio was trying to be nice about Morgyn's strange concern about his love life. Obviously, there was something Morgyn was seeing that was concerning the blond, and Ezio tried not to brush those things Morgyn saw off like they were nothing. When they were kids, Morgyn's intuition had rarely ever been wrong. Admittedly, Ezio's hadn't been wrong very often, either, but there wasn't anything setting his off here. Unless it was that feeling of dread that just got stronger as the days went on, but Ezio thought that feeling of dread was connected to something else. What, he couldn't say.

Something big was coming, he was sure, and Ezio was afraid to know what it was. So afraid that his mind would focus on absolutely _anything_ but that. Talking about this kind of thing seemed like a moot point. Morgyn couldn't tell him what it was he was feeling, nor could Drake, any more than Ezio could tell himself. Maybe he was just having a hard time controlling his anxiety.

"Ezio," Jackson said, shaking him slightly.

Right, Jackson was talking. "Yes? Sorry."

"Are you okay?" Jackson asked. "I lost you there for a second, what's wrong?"

What _wasn't_ wrong? "Nothing," Ezio said. "I just thought of something and kind of spaced out, I'm sorry."

"Your heart's-"

"It's fine, not that," Ezio said.

"Are you sure about that?" Jackson asked. "I mean the last time you had an episode, you spaced out for several minutes. It's kind of scary, baby."

Some part of Ezio melted. That was sweet, in its way. Jackson _did_ care. Maybe it was just that he didn't necessarily know how to express it right. It wasn't fair for Ezio to use him having a life that Ezio wasn't part of against him. That might be it. Ezio was kind of jealous, that Jackson had a life that he wasn't in. That made a lot of sense. Oooh, and that had to be what Morgyn and Drake were picking up on. Ezio's upset about Jackson having things that he wasn't involved in.

See? Everything was fine. Ezio shook his head lightly, scooting over and hugging Jackson. "I don't mean to scare you," he said, the words muffled slightly by Jackson's shirt.

"It's okay," Jackson said, wrapping his arms around Ezio's form. Sometimes, Ezio managed to look smaller than Jackson, but he was a bit stockier in build, actually. Jackson simply had notably broader shoulders, that was all, and the effect made Ezio look smaller. "What were you thinking about?"

Ezio glanced up at him, and then shrugged a shoulder. "Just some stuff," he said.

Jackson raised an eyebrow. "You're not still upset about me leaving are you?" he asked.

"No," Ezio said. "It's not that."

"Then what is it?"

"Don't worry about it, Jackson," Ezio said. "It doesn't matter. I should probably pay attention to you anyway right? You're not staying long." It was easy to get comfortable with Jackson here, but that wasn't how anything worked. He'd go away again, like always he did. Jackson was a bit like the wind. Whenever Ezio thought he'd caught him, he slipped through his fingers again. Ezio hated it, of course, but he didn't have a right to try stopping Jackson from living the life he had that Ezio wasn't in, and, probably, _couldn't_ be in anyway.

But he wasn't getting any better. Jackson said it a lot, that he should hurry up and get better, so that he could go to Sulani with him. But that wasn't going to happen, and Ezio knew it, somewhere in him. Maybe Morgyn and Drake knew it too, maybe Jackson knew, but nobody wanted to say it. They didn't have forever.

"I guess," Jackson said. "It does matter to me, though. Come on, you can talk to me, you know? I want that for us." Jackson reached down, taking Ezio's hands in his, gently kissing the knuckles.

And Ezio melted a little more. This was the Jackson he'd thought he could fall in love with, if he tried. He smiled a little. "Sometimes," he said, "it feels like you're hiding something from me." It was quiet, that if Jackson wanted, he could pretend he hadn't heard it.

Instead, Jackson's eyes softened, and he leaned over and kissed Ezio's hair. "What would I be hiding from you, babe?" he asked.

"That's my question, too," Ezio said.

"You've got nothing to worry about," Jackson said. "You and me, we're gonna be forever, okay? And someday work will slow down, and I'll be able to stay, and we can do all the little dinner dates you want, and watch all the movies, and I'll get you a room just for your books, alright, and you can stack those mother fuckers to the ceiling if it makes you happy."

That sounded nice. Ezio wanted a library of his own, full of all the books he'd ever read, or meant to read, arranged neatly on floor to ceiling shelves. Could one imagine how large the curtains would have to be, for the windows, because he wanted them so tall. The ceiling would be _way_ up there, so that the rows and rows of books would seem to go on forever. There'd be no room for anything else, save for a fireplace, some cosy chairs, and the windows that went to the sky. Even in his own head, it was beautiful, and his heart almost hurt with longing at imagining it.

"You promise?" Ezio asked.

Jackson smiled. "Of course," he answered, then leaned over and kissed Ezio's cheek. And then his jaw. And then down his neck… Ezio could feel Jackson's fingers slip under his shirt, and like it knew it was supposed to, he could kind of feel his body reacting, but it was distant. Like it wasn't his body that was reacting, not really. He'd never spent the time to directly assess how this sort of thing really made him feel, because he never had the time to. Jackson wasn't the first one to be so touchy; it seemed like a guy thing, or at least guys that Ezio dates thing, because they all did it at some point. They were never malicious about it, but how quickly things went from zero to sauna made it difficult for him to sort through what he wanted.

He should do that some other time, probably, but he'd much rather not think about it.

Somewhere in between making those little noises that drove Jackson crazy, and Jackson trying to extricate him from his clothes, Ezio realised that Jackson had never directly said he promised.

Ezio squirmed slightly under Jackson's weight. After a moment, he gently pushed Jackson back up, off of him. "I think I'm gonna go downstairs," he said. "To read or something. Good night." Ezio slipped out from under him, reaching up to fix his hair, and then moved for the door.

Jackson snorted softly, and then growled under his breath, turning around and grabbing Ezio's wrist. Jackson pulled him back over to the bed. Ezio squeaked and fell against him to prevent hitting the floor. "Who said you could walk away from me?" Jackson asked, his tone low.

Fear suddenly shot through Ezio's body, but despite his flight instinct trying to kick in, making him breathe quicker, he managed not to do anything more than meet Jackson's similarly coloured gaze. And then the pain registered. "Jackson," he said almost breathlessly, "you're hurting me."

Jackson blinked, looking at the hand still holding Ezio's wrist. His hand was shaking with the force he was holding onto Ezio's wrist with, and as Jackson registered this, he immediately let go. Ezio backed away, holding his wrist against his chest, eyeing Jackson warily.

"Sorry," Jackson said softly. "I'm just tired. I'll head to bed, you have fun reading."

"Yeah," Ezio breathed. "I will. I'll see you tomorrow."

Before Jackson could respond, Ezio turned on his heel and went out the door, quickly heading to the staircase. The door shut behind him, and Jackson thought, he should go make sure Ezio was okay, at least, and stood up to do that. As he reached the door, though, he suddenly got the feeling he shouldn't, and stopped, watching the light from the windows across the hall. He got the strange feeling he was being watched, grey eyes glancing either direction outside the door. As his gaze fell on the black and glass door not far away, however, he caught sight of Drake, watching him through the glass. The expression on his face was hard to read, but as Jackson gazed back at him, Drake's head bowed slightly. There was unspoken threat in the vibrant blue of his eyes.

Jackson shrugged just slightly at him, more to himself, and headed back to bed. It could wait until the morning.

* * *

Fortunately, it didn't seem anyone was downstairs right now. L liked to stay up until ungodly hours of the night, but Morgyn was already asleep, it seemed, and Ezio wasn't sure off-hand where Drake was. Maybe he was upstairs working on a novel or something. Ezio just hoped he hadn't heard that. It wasn't like Drake would say anything. Drake was many things, but confrontational generally wasn't one of them. That was Morgyn's gig. Drake simply calmly stated his concern, and left it at that. As he put it, there was no sense in pushing the matter, because force tended to inspire resistance.

He was right, of course. It was hard not to fight back, when Morgyn got into one of those Morgyn-moods. Ezio did love the blond, endlessly, but there were times when even Ezio couldn't deal with Morgyn's various tendencies. Dealing with it got tiring after a point, but that was the kind of person that Morgyn was, and Ezio would never dream of asking Morgyn to change for him. Morgyn wasn't always like that. It was nice to see Morgyn had outgrown the shell the blond had lived in when they were kids, was starting to figure out who the hell Morgyn was. And now that Aine was gone, even more of that self-discovery and personal growth thing could happen.

He was glad for it. He'd never in a thousand years ask it to stop on account of him.

Ezio slipped into the library, holding his arm out into the light given off by the crystal lamp. It was a soft, but warm white, easily highlighting the marks Jackson had left on his wrist. It looked like it might bruise later. Ezio frowned a little. Well, he'd tell anyone that asked he'd slammed his wrist into the bedframe while he was sleeping. He'd done it a few times before, no one should ask too many questions. Fortunately, Ezio didn't wear clothing that was particularly revealing in the first place; he might be able to just hide it outright. If it hurt tomorrow, though, someone might notice that much.

Damn it.

Ezio paced around for a moment. The nervous energy was building as it was, and he couldn't really afford to have a meltdown right this moment. Drake could smell that kind of thing, as he'd figured out some time after turning Drake into a vampire in the first place. It was a confusing situation, but Drake was, as it happened, far more in tune with Ezio than anyone else, and could probably already smell his anxiety, if the blond was anywhere nearby. Ezio hoped he wasn't. He wasn't into answering questions, because if someone asked him what was wrong right now, he had a feeling he'd have an utter meltdown, and that wouldn't be good for convincing someone there wasn't anything wrong.

It took a few minutes of pacing, but eventually, his heart rate slowed down, and his breathing evened out. Ezio turned and moved around one of the tables, settling down in one of the two chairs by the fireplace. He loved the crackling of fire. The sound of it was calming to him in a weird way, and he found he could often zone out to the sound of it and crickets, if he tried. He smiled a little bit, listening to the sound. Then, he felt like someone, or something, was watching him. He got used to that from Drake doing it a lot. Every time he turned around, it seemed like, Drake was staring at him.

He looked up, though, and nothing was there in the room but him. He leaned over a little, in his seat, glancing up at the bridge, but he didn't see anyone up there, either. And then he heard the whispering.

Why now?

Ever since he was a child, he could hear, and see, spirits of those that had passed on. Morgyn never developed the ability, but Ezio had it innately from a very young age. He'd seen some things that would probably make others throw up or pass out. His mind wasn't always his own. He didn't just see and hear them, he could feel them in ways that even those that learnt to be mediums couldn't. He felt their fear, their despair, their pain. Sometimes, it was so intense, it was hard for him to figure out where he ended and they began, because it all felt the same to him. They shared their emotions, and their memories.

The legends in magic realm said that the necromancers were once a large sect, given the gift of passing easily between the dawnlands, or the lands of the living, and the dusklands, the lands of the dead. Sometimes they brought a piece of one into another, messing up the balance of the worlds, and the stories tell of how the gods sent them a curse, intended to wipe them out and restore balance. This curse was their stronger connection with spirits. It drove most of them mad, over time. And now, Ezio was the only living necromancer left, at least, as far as they knew. There could be others, somewhere, suppressing their abilities, hoping beyond all hope that they were just like everyone else. Just like Ezio did, once.

He stood up, following the sound of whispering. In magic realm, there were spirits too, but they were notably calmer. They weren't trapped here, or frantic, or upset they were dead in the first place. No, they'd stayed here for a reason, and had come to terms with that reason. They didn't need help. They _gave_ help, much of the time. And if, when one was alone, they listened to the silence, at times, the silence spoke.

The whispering abruptly stopped, so Ezio stopped walking. As he stood there, waiting to see why the whispering wanted him right there, a thunk sounded from above, and something slid off one of the bookshelves, and hit the floor with a loud _thunk_. Ezio couldn't help jumping slightly, but then he bent down to look at what had fallen. His mystery book, it would seem. He smiled slightly. "Now you're stalking me, huh?" he asked it. He sat down on the floor, gathering his legs under him and reaching over to pull the book into his lap. His wrist twinged in pain at the motion, but he only winced slightly. He never did really go through the book. Idly, he opened it, flipping through the pages and looking at them more seriously. There were dozens of images and designs, usually circular patterns and spirals, on the pages. He couldn't tell what language the writing was meant to be in, but some of the images looked like ink copies of wood carvings, and some of the glyphs and designs were almost familiar. He wasn't sure what that was supposed to mean, but it was perhaps a gateway into getting this thing translated and making sense of what it wanted from him sometime this century.

Ezio looked up at the bookshelves he was sitting at the base of. As it happened, these were the shelves with the language books on them, as he recalled. There were dozens of books about different magical languages, the ones the gnomes used, the varying fae languages, the merfolks' tongue, which only really made sense underwater anyway if he remembered right, there were bits about every non-magical language known to mankind, fabled and forgotten languages the spellcasters and ancient druids supposedly used once upon a long time ago, mystical systems from East Asia and Polynesia.

If any set of bookshelves in this place could help him make sense of this book, it'd be these here. Ezio's jaw set, and he scooted across the floor, pulling several language books down.


	10. He's Been Telling Lies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All hail the Great Wall of Books. If you kind of don't hate Jackson *as much* as before by the end of this, that's valid. You're allowed. I know it seems like things are cut and dry here, that Jackson is very clearly and obviously the "bad guy," but remember that people are complex beings and have complex motivations. No one is ever 100% good or bad, they're some combination, and Jackson has his reasons for the way he acts. Not necessarily *good* reasons, but reasons nonetheless. I'm not saying he's the sympathetic one here, of course. He's made some serious mistakes, he's probably going to make a few more, and he's basically being an asshole. I'm just saying that asshole isn't quite as permanent or all-encompassing a personality trait as some people would like to believe.  
> Also, I love how quickly Ezio devolves into Science, it's kind of amazing.  
> If anyone is curious, while I just happen to have a habit of creating things that inexplicably sing, particularly very powerful things that sing, the inspiration for the singing and screeching in magic realm is actually found in magic realm itself. If you zoom out in magic realm far enough, with the ambient sounds on, you get this almost roaring background noise to start coming through. It is immensely unnerving somehow, and I wanted to do something with it.  
> Cold Hearted, Paula Abdul.

It was stupid. And stupid. And Morgyn was stupid. And this was stupid and everything was stupid, stupid, _stupid_.

Morgyn was angry. Primarily, the blond was angry at no one else but the blond. It turned out, Caleb was right, and Morgyn had messed up, _again_ , and Ezio had said absolutely nothing to the blond that morning. He'd _glared_ , though. Morgyn should be glad for that much, at least Ezio hadn't completely shut down on the sage, but it still stung. Morgyn meant well. Of course, then Morgyn remembered that often the road to hell was paved in good intentions, or however the saying went. It was true.

With Ezio not speaking to the blond, things felt a little more hopeless than Morgyn knew what to do with. As always the blond did at times like these, when talking to Ezio about it was somehow not possible, Morgyn slipped out of headquarters sometime after nightfall in the other world. Caleb would likely be busy, but hopefully, not too busy to exchange a few words, and maybe offer a proverbial smack upside the head. Sometimes, Morgyn definitely needed one of those.

Wordlessly, Morgyn slipped into line at the stand Caleb was working today. Caleb's grey eyes glanced at the blond for a moment, but then turned back to the customer he was already speaking with, and Morgyn snorted softly. As the interaction wrapped up, and the other spellcaster shuffled away with their purchases, Morgyn looked up at Caleb. Caleb met Morgyn's gaze, and then smiled softly.

"You messed up, didn't you?" he asked.

Morgyn didn't answer verbally, simply nodded. There was no point trying to pretend otherwise. It was probably written all over Morgyn's face. Ezio had decided not to speak to Morgyn on more than one occasion by now. The blond was rash, tended to make hasty decisions that maybe weren't the best decisions, and was intensely defensive of Ezio. The combination tended to end in a lot of trouble for both of the Ember twins, it was no secret to anyone. This kind of thing happened in cycles, it seemed like. There was no fury as intense as that of one of the Embers felt for the other, no storm as intense as one twin raging at the other.

Every time they fought like this, they grew closer together, their bond stronger for it. It was simply figuring out how to weather the storm, because every storm was difficult. It was always Ezio that Morgyn leaned on, of course. Without him, Morgyn didn't know what to do, who to turn to. Morgyn was going to be completely useless without him, at least for a while.

The blond tried not to think things like that, but it was hard not to. The reminder that Ezio could go at any time was always lingering in the back of Morgyn's mind. It coloured everything Morgyn did. How could it not?

"Here," Caleb said, setting something down on the counter with a smile.

Morgyn's head tilted, eyes glancing up to see what it was. A mug of cocoa sat on the counter, complete with marshmallows. "Thank you," Morgyn said, reaching up and taking it, holding it like it could fix everything.

"Chocolate's good for the soul," Caleb said. "Ey Tanya," he called, turning around and walking into the back. A few moments later, he came out the side, and walked up to stand beside Morgyn. The blond smiled softly, moving toward one of the benches. Caleb wordlessly followed.

"You were right, you know," Morgyn said, settling down.

Caleb sat down beside the blond. "Was I?" he asked.

"What you said the last time we talked. Ezio's not speaking to me right now."

Caleb didn't look surprised. "It's not unsalvageable," Caleb answered, looking out at the pieces of stone and rock in the sky. "You should apologise, though. And you need to mean it. Interfering with someone's autonomy isn't how you help them, and you should know that by now."

"I can't help it," Morgyn mumbled into the cup.

"Yes you can," Caleb answered. "I know you've got no sense when it comes to Ezio, but that's a temporary condition, not a state of being. You can learn to curb your innate reactions the same as anyone else can. Hey, if a vampire can manage not to rip throats out every night, you can start using your head instead of reacting with your heart. I believe in you."

Morgyn looked up at him through a sideways glance. Caleb always did believe in the blond. Just like with Ezio, Morgyn never understood why. All the same, it was comforting somehow. _Someone_ believed in the blond. That someone should've been Aine, for a long time, but it never was. It didn't matter. Morgyn had Ezio and Caleb now, and Aine was gone. It was for the best, anyway. Aine was no good for Morgyn. Morgyn was no good for anyone.

"I guess you're right," Morgyn said, sighing softly. "It just feels hopeless right now."

"I'm sure it does," Caleb answered. "But you know, you and Ezio have been through a lot worse than some stupid boy. Maybe it's just one stressor too many. Not so much the thing itself as the thing in combination with all the other things. I have a hard time imagining there isn't _some_ stress in Ezio's relationship with Jackson, plus whatever he's dealing with outside of that. Tack on your incidental attacking his choices, and I can see that just being the unfortunate thing that tipped the scales too far the wrong way. Just, something he can't deal with right now."

Morgyn glanced at Caleb sideways again, and then released a sigh. He was probably right. "So, I'm stressing him out."

"Essentially, yes," Caleb answered. "Everything does, you know? Living is being stressed. Some people have different limits to the amount of stress, and the kinds of stress, they can handle. But you're a controllable factor, something Ezio has influence over to some extent. He can tell you to fuck off, and it might hurt your feelings a little, but you won't walk away forever over it. Jackson's a whole other story, though."

Morgyn was quiet a moment, drinking some of the cocoa, licking the marshmallow foam off, and thinking. "Apologise, and mean it," Morgyn said.

"Don't pull away entirely, like I said," Caleb said. "Ezio will still need you later, and maybe for other things. And don't stop watching Jackson, just retreat some. Channel your inner Drake, right? Jackson's probably on high alert because you're paying attention anyway. Funny enough, backing away has the added bonus of making him think he's won. When your opponent thinks his victory is assured, he tends to get arrogant, and make very costly mistakes. You won't have to explain anything to Ezio by the end. Jackson will have explained it first."

Morgyn looked at him, making a very bewildered expression.

"What?" Caleb asked.

"I'm just surprised you thought that far," Morgyn said.

Caleb shrugged one shoulder. "I may not like warfare, but I do know the rules to these kinds of things. Unfortunately, I think it's safe to say we're at war with Jackson, in a kind of weird way. He is a threat to Ezio, though. We don't take well to those round these parts, do we?"

"Not really," Morgyn said, smiling in amusement. There he went again, making the blond smile even when Morgyn was in a terrible mood.

"Hey," Caleb said, gently bumping against Morgyn's shoulder. "We'll win this one. We have to. But we're going to have to play smarter than him, and not end up divided. Go tell Ezio you're sorry, and back out of this outwardly. We've got eyes and ears everywhere, mm? We don't have to make noise. There's a lot to be said for stealth, Morgyn."

"I'm not terribly _good_ at it," Morgyn said.

"It's okay," Caleb answered. "There's time to learn."

* * *

The stack of books around him had been rising over the last few hours. He could feel the slight ache in his back that said he'd been sitting encircled by stacks of books on this floor for far too long, but he remembered _why_ he loved this kind of thing. Sometimes the thrill wasn't in discovery, but in the journey towards it, the excitement of learning new things and having some sense of purpose to speak of. His life had been far too long by now, and he still struggled with finding a sense of purpose and progress. This was how he did it.

Ezio paused, setting the book in his hand on top of one of the stacks, and then stretching out. His back snapped in several places, but he was getting closer to finding what language his leather-bound enigma was written in, or so it felt like. Perhaps, it was more accurately, so Ezio _hoped_.

"That is a number of books," he heard an effeminate voice say, somewhere beyond the stacks.

Ezio sat up, looking a bit like a meerkat as he did so, finding a puff of wavy blond and green eyes. "Yes," he said, and then ducked back down below the stacks like they were the Great Wall of China and Morgyn was the Huns.

Morgyn was quiet for a moment, and then the blond settled down on the floor, legs tucking under the sage. Morgyn then reached up and set a steaming cup onto one of the stacks wordlessly.

Ezio glanced up at the cup. "What's this?" he asked.

"Green and mint tea, two sugars, splash of milk," Morgyn answered.

That was Ezio's favourite tea. He didn't drink coffee, it wasn't good for his heart, but he made up for it with varying teas and tisanes. What would Morgyn bring him tea for? Ezio had been quite clear about them not talking right now. After last night, Ezio wasn't sure if he could handle more of Morgyn's bitching about Jackson, anyway, and their conversations _always_ went back to that.

Ezio drew a breath in, reached for it, and then remembered that was his injured wrist, and took the cup with the other hand. "Come to complain some more?" Ezio asked, softly blowing on the tea.

"No," Morgyn answered, and then drew a breath in. "It's a peace offering."

Ezio's grey eyes peeked over the Great Wall of Books.

"I'm sorry," Morgyn said. "You're right. I don't have any say in your relationship with Jackson, and your decisions are your decisions and I have no right to question them. I don't mean to be bossy about it, either. I just worry about you, a lot. Ezio, I just don't like seeing you get hurt, and I don't want to lose you. Especially not over some stupid boy."

Grey eyes softened, and Ezio looked back down at the teacup in his hands. He set it down on the wood under him, drew a breath in, and reached over the Great Wall of Books to rest his hand on Morgyn's hair. "I love you, you idiot," he said. "You're not ever going to lose me over a stupid boy."

Morgyn had to wonder about that. Of course, the blond was afraid to _say it_ , too, so the sage didn't, reaching up to take Ezio's hand. It was a little bit awkward, thanks to the Great Wall of Books, and Morgyn's gaze fell to it. The stacks were arranged in a semi-circle around Ezio, his back to one of the chairs. "Sooo… what's with the literary wall?" Morgyn asked.

Oh, right. "I'm trying to translate a book," Ezio said. "The spirits think I need to read it, but I don't know what language it's in, so I've been searching through all the language books we have."

Morgyn's gaze narrowed in concern. "The spirits are talking to you again?" When had that happened? The last time the spirits were talking to him, Ezio had about halfway lost his fucking mind. Some spirits were easier to deal with than others, of course, they weren't as strong or intense, and what they wanted was simple, but Morgyn had watched one too many psychotic spirit drive Ezio halfway to madness, reduce him to a spluttery mess curled in a ball on the floor, to be entirely happy with the knowledge they were _talking_ to him again.

The spirits in magic realm had been here for generations, far longer than Morgyn and Ezio had been here. Morgyn didn't know _how_ old they were, just that they were ancient, probably as old as magic realm itself in many cases. They were comfortable in the fact they were dead, and while they'd been interested in Ezio for a while at the start, it wasn't as overwhelming as the things he'd seen and lived through when they were kids.

Morgyn still had nightmares about the night Ezio discovered he had an affinity for ice magic. He'd frozen _everything_ , half the river, stopped the water wheels for the fact they were coated in an inch of ice out of nowhere, and his eyes… they may as well have been red for all the rage in them. Morgyn didn't know _who_ he was that night, but that wasn't Ezio. Every incident even _halfway_ that intense seemed like it took years off his life, and Morgyn couldn't _fight_ those demons, only pray that Ezio always could.

Ezio was too emotional. He took each one into his heart, held them too closely, and god forbid he fucking lost one.

Still, Caleb was incidentally right about this, too. This wasn't Morgyn's place, either. All Morgyn could do was be here, and hope. Hope that it was always enough, because Morgyn had no idea what the blond would do if it wasn't someday.

"Calm down," Ezio said, smiling a little bit, lightly squeezing Morgyn's hand. "I think the book's calling them, and they're calling me. It's kind of a roundabout way of achieving anything, but I'd say it works out." Morgyn didn't _like_ it when Ezio talked about spirits and ghosts. He tried not to.

Morgyn would always worry about that. Instead of saying that, though, Morgyn smiled. "Okay," the blond said softly. "You'll figure it out. What else have you been doing?" It'd been a while since they'd had an actual conversation, one that didn't inevitably go back to Jackson.

Maybe it was time they remembered who they were, apart and together, when Jackson didn't matter.

* * *

The Great Wall of Books had shortened somewhat in the time since yesterday. Ezio had tossed a sizeable number of the books back onto the shelves where they belonged, once he was certain that they weren't going to be of any use to him and his endeavours. It seemed rather hypocritical to complain about others being unable to put their books back onto the shelf, and then fail to do so himself once he was sure he didn't need them.

His bitching must've been circulating, because he was having slightly less issue with it.

Ezio flipped through the book in his hand, comparing the writing in it to the writing in the leather-bound enigma. Like too many of the other systems, the writing in the leather book looked _almost_ like the writing in the book he was comparing, but it still wasn't quite right. He may be getting close, but he had the feeling he was looking in the wrong place. Short of leaving magic realm to venture out into the wide world for another reason, he had nothing.

He should tell Morgyn and Drake about that. Drake had probably smelled it, even if he didn't know what it was he was picking up on. Ezio wasn't ready to explain it, yet. He was still getting used to not having to defend Jackson every ten minutes as it was, and that much had worn him down.

Ezio released a sigh, leaning backward. He bumped against the chair behind him, and unfortunately for him, it had wheels and moved. Ezio hit the floor, loudly, and cursed. As he moved to sit back up, holding his head, a pale hand reached down towards him. Drake, of course it was.

"Thanks," Ezio said, taking the offered hand, and Drake pulled him back upright.

"Are you alright?" Drake asked, looking concerned.

"I'm fine," Ezio replied. "Just lost my pride down there somewhere, is all." His wrist still hurt, but if Drake hadn't noticed that, Ezio wasn't going to-Drake glanced at his injured wrist. Drake didn't say anything, though. Ezio decided to stick to the decision not to volunteer anything. Ezio had a sneaking suspicion that Drake had heard more of that exchange than Ezio would've rather he had, but there wasn't anything for it.

"Well, it's good you didn't hit your head too hard," Drake said.

"Yeah, so it is," Ezio answered.

"Aside from the fall, how are you doing?"

Ezio tried not to let it show on his face, when embarrassment and vague panic flickered through his mind. Drake had _definitely_ heard everything. Should he say something? He was afraid to. It was kind of pathetic, wasn't it, how even now Ezio couldn't deal with his own problems on his own. That was why, wasn't it? Why Morgyn always nosed into his business. Because Ezio couldn't deal with his business on his own.

Drake had just asked a question. Ezio shook his head. "I'm fine," he repeated. "Just kind of caught up in trying to figure out what language this is, that's all."

That look Drake got sometimes, when he knew Ezio wasn't saying something important but didn't want to call him on it, flickered through his eyes. Like always he didn't, Drake didn't say it. "You've been at it for a while now," Drake said. "You've not been forgetting to eat or anything, right?"

"I haven't," Ezio said. Er, at least he didn't think he had been. He turned a little to the side, doing the maths, trying to remember the last time he ate was. Morgyn brought tea, but that wasn't quite the same thing. He glanced up at the clock on the wall.

"You haven't eaten in too long," Drake said, his tone firm and final. If Ezio had to _do math_ to figure out when he ate last, that was too long. "Come on," Drake said, standing. "I'll make something, you clearly need a break."

Ezio groaned. "I'm getting close, though!"

"You said that five hours ago."

Had he? That wasn't the point. Ezio loosed another grunt, but he stood up, carefully stepping around the Great Wall of Books. As he moved around the side, he kicked something the wrong way, and slipped. Drake reached out and caught him. Ezio loosed an annoyed snort, but he stayed there, resting against Drake for a moment. Okay, maybe he was a _little_ bit dizzy. It didn't mean anything, especially not that Drake was right and he needed to eat.

Except, that was probably precisely what it meant.

"See, you're losing your balance," he said.

"I am not," Ezio grumbled. He wasn't in a hurry to stand on his own, though.

Drake looked exasperated. He'd been living with the Embers too long. They were both utter disasters, just in different ways. Still, he was happy like this, too. Sometimes they needed to be mothered, that was all, and as it turned out, Drake was kind of domestic. At least, he was domestic with Embers.

Ezio. He was domestic with Ezio.

"Is your head still spinning?" Drake asked quietly.

Ezio mutely nodded. Drake could tell by the way he was clinging to his arm, and leaning too heavily on him. What was he going to do with him, really? At the moment, getting him to eat something seemed like it was around the top of the list.

"I'm going to pick you up," he said.

"Okay," Ezio answered softly.

Drake fluidly moved Ezio around, got his arms under him, and lifted him up. Most likely, he'd need to make something small so that the dizziness stopped, and Ezio could eat without getting nauseous from it. If he ended up getting sick, that wasn't much help.

"I hate it when you do this," Drake said, under his breath.

Ezio snorted softly. "I hate it when I do this, too." He just lost track of time a little too easily. Sometimes, when he felt okay, it was hard to remember that he _wasn't_ okay, that he still had to be careful what he did, because he could very easily end up on a fast track to being stuck in bed. He hated those times even more. He _was_ still an Ember, and Embers weren't good at staying still. Admittedly, he'd had so much on his mind recently, this may not entirely be his fault. It might simply be that now things were going to go badly for a while.

They were both quiet, for a moment, Drake shuffling towards the kitchen, probably to set him down in one of the chairs just inside the plant room. At some point, Ezio squeaked, and started to cry. "I hate this," he whispered.

He wasn't talking about the dizziness, was he? Of course not. Drake sighed. "I know." Unfortunately, he couldn't always make it better. Something Drake could do with his vampiric powers managed to stave off the worst of it, but for how long, Drake wondered. He never wondered aloud, in case the universe took it as a dare.

* * *

Ezio had another episode. It wasn't anything terrible, at least, he just needed to eat and rest, but Morgyn's nerves were frayed worse than they'd already been, to say the least of it. Normally, by now, the blond would be asleep, but currently Morgyn was moving the Great Wall of Books from the library out of the way, and it was taking some work, even _with_ Drake's help. He kept going upstairs to check on Ezio. Whatever he was doing with his vampire powers was making these things last less time than they could've, but it felt like it wasn't working as well as it used to.

It was just Morgyn's paranoia. That had to be it.

Morgyn sat at the breakfast bar in the kitchen, one hand idly stirring the cup of tea sitting on the countertop in front of the blond. Drake was upstairs again, and Morgyn had decided that taking a break was probably for the best. They'd moved half the Great Wall of Books, and Morgyn was wondering how Ezio had _built_ the dang thing in the first place. There were books in there about every language they knew anything about in there, even obscure writing systems and languages from Polynesia. Morgyn thought Polynesia was _probably_ a bit of a stretch, but Ezio hadn't shown the blond this book he was trying to translate anyway. What did the blond know about it?

It was another thing Ezio was shoving Morgyn out of, but at this point, that was understandable and Morgyn had no room to complain. Ezio didn't start this. As always, though, he was pretty determined to end it.

As Morgyn stirred the tea, watching the light outside the windows above the stoves, the blond heard something crash out in the courtyard. Then came the very loud laughter. That laughter sounded familiar, though Morgyn couldn't immediately say why. Morgyn picked up the teacup and stood, shuffling out into the courtyard hallway. Jackson was standing in the entry, having apparently knocked over one of the hallway tables. Some of the glass bits on the wood floor had broken.

Morgyn arched an eyebrow. The blond would _never_ see what Ezio saw in this idiot. Instead of saying that, Morgyn wordlessly waved a hand. The table righted itself, the glass pieces fusing back together and refilling with their contents, the books neatly stacking on the surface.

"Mmmmooooorrrrgynnnn," Jackson said, like he had to think too hard about it to say it.

"Yes," Morgyn answered, chin turning up. "That is indeed my name. Don't wear it out."

"Haaave I ever told youuuu, that I loooove how _sassy_ you are?" Jackson said.

Morgyn's eyes narrowed at the slurring he was doing. Was he _drunk_? To be fair, he could've gotten high off blowing up too many potions. Some people did that. "No, you don't," Morgyn answered.

"You're right," Jackson said, laughing between the words. "It drives me batshit insane, actually. How _did_ you get so _mouthy_ anyway? Aintchoo like… hundred somefin?"

Morgyn raised one brown eyebrow. "You should ask Ezio that question," Morgyn said. It was, after all, with Ezio's encouragement that Morgyn had discovered any semblance of a backbone, any kind of freedom. Part of why Morgyn was so defensive of him was because he'd gone to hell and come back, just to show Morgyn what it was like to fly. The blond was coming to understand, through L's grating emotional management coaching, that this was called _guilt_. If one asked Morgyn, the blond had no reason to feel that way, but Morgyn was also coming to understand, emotions didn't follow any kind of logic to speak of, and trying to apply logic to them was merely an exercise in frustration.

"I did!" Jackson squeaked. "Did I? I think I did."

Morgyn's raised eyebrow went a little higher.

"Don'judge me," Jackson said, his tone lowering. "Yoooou don'know what it's like to deal witchur brother, you have noooo idears, how _depressing_ he is. You you ought to get him a thera… Ther… Thinger. Fuck. Person to talk to. _I_ need a thera… Whatever it is. You know iffff youuus got drunk more offen, I fink you'd be less of a _prick_."

Morgyn snorted softly, arms crossing. "You should stay downstairs tonight, in one of the guest rooms," the blond said evenly. "I don't want you anywhere near Ezio this drunk, and if you try going that way, I _will_ set you on fire." Ezio had already had a fairly stressful day, he didn't need to deal with a drunken Jackson, too.

"PFFFFTtttth," came Jackson's response, perhaps what was meant to be blowing raspberries and didn't quite make it. "I'll stay wifyou then," he decided.

"No, you won't," Morgyn immediately replied.

"You don'tell me whatta do, mmmmkay?" Jackson said, swaying on his feet slightly as he pointed at the blond. "Is fine. I ain'care nuffin about Ezio _anyway_ , he's boring, and prudish, an'e likes to talk about _dumb stuff_ , like the stars'er whatever. I want _you_ now. Yeah. _Yeah_."

Morgyn wasn't sure if he was _stating_ this as a fact, or trying to convince himself it was true, because it sounded somewhat like the latter. The blond eyed him for a moment. "Then why not break up with Ezio?"

Surprisingly, Jackson went quiet, his drunken smile fading. And Morgyn, for a fleeting moment, was convinced there was the tell-tale glitter of tears in his eyes before he looked down at the wood floor. "I love him, you know?" Jackson said quietly. "He don'love me, not like I love him, I know that. I thought maybe someday'e could, maybe. I'unno what I'm doin'wrong. Maybe nothin'. Maybe everythin'. I can'do it anymore. I can'watch'im die."

"He's not dying," Morgyn said.

"Oh bull fuckin' _shit_ , Morgyn," Jackson said, suddenly looking up, his tone almost a snarl. But there was pain in his eyes, not anger. "Yoooou annat fuggin vampire'a his can say all ya wanna he ain't dyin but I can _see_ it and I can't _stand it_. Ezio is _dying_ and I can't _fix_ that Morgyn I don't know how and it _hurts_! The only thing I _can_ do is run away from it, I don'know what _else_ to fuggin do!" Morgyn stayed quiet. A tear slipped down Jackson's cheek, and he looked back down at the floor, breathing in. "But you know that already, dontchu." It wasn't that Morgyn was stronger than Jackson was. It was that Morgyn couldn't walk away from Ezio.

Morgyn stared at him. Jackson eventually breathed in again, straightened up.

"I'll getchu someday," he said. "You know nobody gets to yooou without goin' through Ezio anyway. Ya look jus'like'im. Maybe I won'even notice the difference."

Green eyes narrowed. That wasn't how that worked. Morgyn almost felt _pity_ for him, and then he went and ruined it. "I think you should go to bed," Morgyn said.

"Yup, probably," Jackson said, laughing a bit. "Yanno I wasn'ever good at doin' what I was supposed to do. But maybe jus'this once." Jackson reached over to tap Morgyn's nose with a finger; the blond effortlessly pushed a wrist against his, making him miss. Jackson looked amused. "Cause ya ask me so nicely."

Jackson went around Morgyn, heading for the stairs. Morgyn's eyes slid closed, the blond taking a breath in. He smelled like vanilla and bourbon.

"How did you not set him on fire?" Drake asked, as he came downstairs. Drake could guess how, by the end, but there were a few points in that discussion that _should_ have set Morgyn off.

"Emotions are to be felt," Morgyn replied. "Not make your decisions for you." Green eyes looked up at the vampire, finding him smiling slightly. "What?" the blond asked.

"You're getting better at that, that's all," Drake said.

"Yeah well," Morgyn said, walking back towards the kitchen. "Don't write home yet."

* * *

Morgyn and Drake had brought his Great Wall of Books upstairs to his room. For once, Jackson wasn't complaining about the stacks of books, but then, Jackson wasn't here, either. Morgyn said he wasn't feeling well, and had thought better of coming up last night, in case he adversely affected Ezio. It was one of those excuses that looked fine, checked out okay, but _felt_ wrong.

It felt like an excuse that was, perhaps merely coincidentally, fully believable.

Just softly, in the background of the sounds of rushing water and the strange noises the sky made, Ezio could hear the singing. Sometimes, it was louder. Other times, it was barely there. Even other times, it was so loud and strong he could swear he could hear the screeching in it, it made his teeth start hurting and gave him a headache, and there was nothing he could do to possibly block it out. He even heard it outside magic realm, sometimes, louder when he happened to use magic out there.

He had a theory, that it was possible the All was calling to him, like it apparently had called to so many others, but he did have to wonder why. Of course, this wondering led him to considering what the All even _was_. No one had seen it before. The sages supposedly protected it, by chance, in protecting magic realm in general, but even the sages didn't know where it was, or _what_ it was. As far as he knew, there was nothing else out there in magic realm that wasn't inanimate or human. The ancient spellcasters had _created_ magic realm, they should know everything that was here, because presumably it was put there by them.

He hadn't seen an actual ghost in a long time. They simply whispered, now, to get his attention. Sometimes he could make out what they were saying, but a lot of the time they were completely indecipherable and random sounds. If he could _find_ one, he'd ask them what they thought, if there were things in magic realm that hadn't been put there by the spellcasters, yet at the same time, he was afraid of the answer. He wasn't sure he could _handle_ the answer, not right now. He was still fairly weak from his heart acting up again. Drake had done whatever Drake does to make it calm down, but it was a bandaid, a temporary fix for a not so temporary problem.

What happened, anyway, when the not so temporary problem became too great for the temporary fix to handle anymore? No one said it. Everyone was afraid to, pretended that nothing was weird or strange about this, but he could feel it. Every time, he slipped a little more than the last time. Someday, he'd slip too far for Drake to pull him back from.

Ezio wasn't sure if he was afraid to die. He'd helped a lot of souls over the years, come to terms with their death, finish things that were left unfinished, find some sense of closure and peace. Death wasn't something to be afraid of, he knew that better than most. It was merely the next step, the next part of one's journey.

_And I'm not certain if it will be Morgyn's destruction or ours._

No. What Ezio was afraid of, was leaving Morgyn alone. That idiot didn't do well that way.

Jackson was leaving soon. Ezio released a sigh, shoving the book in his hands out of his lap, and then stood up. If he was careful, he could pace around without too much trouble, and sometimes, the physical movement helped. Other times it hurt, and Ezio didn't know why it helped sometimes and hurt others. There were many things like that. He'd hoped, by now, he'd have good news to give everyone, but that hadn't happened yet. Sometimes life felt like a long string of waiting for _something_ ; dinner to be done, the coffee pot to finish, the morning, someone to wake up, to find the words for something, for good news, for the pain to stop, for something in life to make some _sense_. Ezio had been waiting for something for so long, he'd forgotten what all he was waiting for.

Embers weren't good at waiting.

As he passed by the window, he could see the sparkles of starlight, or at least, whatever _passed_ as starlight in this place, through the glass panes. He paused in his movement, watching them sparkle. They always looked like they knew some secret everyone else didn't. There were a lot of stories about the stars, myths passed on through time, and Ezio's favourite was the idea that each star was a soul that had passed on. That up there, in the sparkling diamonds scattered haphazardly across inky blackness, were those that had gone before, watching over everyone else. He knew how death worked, and knew enough about stars, at least enough to know that souls becoming stars was unlikely, but wasn't it a comforting thought? Ezio liked these kinds of story, because it said a lot about how humans tended toward feeling better, not understanding reality. In its way, that, too, was fascinating to him.

Maybe Ezio was always looking at the stars, because he hoped that, somewhere up there, he'd find out who he was, and who he was meant to be.

Ezio sighed, reaching up and nudging his glasses back up his nose. For some reason, they always slid down the bridge of his nose. Ezio liked glasses, they were nice inventions, and it was great to be able to see again (admittedly, he had no idea how little he was seeing until he could see it again). As he watched the stars glittering in the sky, the maybe-comet-like things falling randomly, his gaze was drawn to a particular set of stars. A small cluster, it looked like, close together, but rather than merely sparkling, the more Ezio watched them, the more convinced he was that they were _moving_ , and they were doing so in concert.

One side of the cluster, towards the top of the vague shape they made, moved slightly differently. Ezio tilted his head, watching the cluster, trying to follow the movements of the shape. What _was_ that? The top part, there were two protrusions it looked like, and Ezio was _quite_ sure they were moving like they were _wings_. Like the entire cluster surrounded an invisible shape that was _flying_ through the sky. He could think of a few organic things that emitted light, usually in some form of bioluminescence for one reason or another, but he couldn't think of any advantage a _bird_ would have to emitting light. Unless the point wasn't the light emissions, but rather the mimicry of the stars. Perhaps it was some kind of camouflage intended to prevent predators from seeing it when it flew at night.

Then, he blinked, and the cluster was gone. Ezio looked around, hoping to find it again, but just like that, it was gone. And Ezio started to wonder if he'd ever even seen it at all.


	11. All The Things We Are

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be upfront about it. Remember that thing about how I'm well-known for messing up [insert thing here] for story reasons? Yeah. So I haven't outright said what is wrong with Ezio. Actually, in the original write ups, ya'll weren't even supposed to know there was anything wrong with him at all until the end, that's why it wasn't apparent in the original TMA (but I promise I had it planned even back there). I know what it is, or at least what I based it on, but I didn't want to say what it is supposed to be so that no one looks at it and goes "xyz doesn't work like that!" because you know what, okay, maybe it isn't known to work that way, but you can't really generalise that way with illnesses. Even normal bodily functions, like pregnancy and puberty, work differently for everyone, what makes anyone think that illnesses, the definition of something not working right, will work the same for everyone? Exactly. However, some people will still argue with me I'm sure and tell me I'm portraying xyz wrong. So, decide for yourself what you think he has. I really don't flippin care. Basically I have a set of symptoms I've decided he experiences and they may be based on real-life disorders and illnesses, *maybe*. Chances are, at least a quarter of it is just for drama value. c:  
> In other news, this chapter has no images because I really don't feel like making the poses right now. Tbh. Secondly, this chapter also made me cry about three or four times. So. That's a thing that you know now.  
> I love L. Like, so much. I chose her to fill the gap Aine left behind because she is a mean Sim, and I think Morgyn is stubborn enough to really need someone that won't hesitate to say what they really think and not dance around anything or sugar coat things. Plus, she's really good at emotions, and Morgyn is legendary status shit at them. Like, I didn't give Morgyn that trait okay. Morgyn decided that Morgyn has 500 feelings and sucks at every single one.  
> I have more mini-bios to go through, but since none of the ones left have roles in TML, I'm waiting until TMA, so for now, enjoy random edits and scenery caps at the end of chapters for a while.  
> Every Time You Go, Ellie Goulding

"He's usually not this late," Morgyn said, fingers rapping against one arm.

Drake grunted from where he was sitting at one of the tables. Morgyn had been pacing around and saying something to that effect for probably the last twenty minutes. It was starting to get annoying, but that was most likely because Drake's paranoia was starting to play off Morgyn's. They had an interesting talent at sitting here going in circles and making each other anxious. They could do it for hours if left to their own devices.

Ezio hadn't come downstairs just yet. It was concerning, because, as Morgyn had said, he wasn't usually this late coming down in the morning. His stability depended on a careful balance of several factors; namely sleep, regular diet, and some mild exercise, and while it wasn't perfect, it was even worse without that careful balancing, so when one of these things appeared to supercede the others, it became worrisome. It was nearing nine in the morning, a good four hours after Ezio _normally_ woke up, and Ezio was nowhere to be found. Drake couldn't sense any distress. That didn't mean anything, though.

"Maybe one of us should go upstairs," Morgyn said, having gone back to wearing paths into the kitchen floor.

Drake released a sigh. Morgyn might be onto something there, but it was hard to say how long wasn't long enough to wait, or if they'd already waited too long. He could just as easily be up there reading through that great wall of books of his, and they were down here worrying over nothing. Of course, Drake still knew that even though he didn't _sense_ anything concerning, it didn't mean there _wasn't_ anything concerning. He'd thought, already, more than once, that it was possible he was getting used to these things that went wrong, and was beginning to be unable to sense them as well. He tried not to think about it much.

"Nine is a little late," Drake agreed. "Maybe one of us _should_ go check on him."

"Maybe," Morgyn said. "He might just be reading. He's probably just reading."

"Do you want to go or not?" Drake asked.

Morgyn didn't answer with words, instead jiggling a leg and whining.

Drake released another sigh. Before he could say anything, however, he caught the scent of vanilla and bourbon, and Jackson wandered in looking like something a cat dragged in. Drake snorted softly to himself, turning to the book on the table.

"Jackson," Morgyn started, "have you seen Ezio this morning?"

Jackson made a face, headed for the coffee pot. "No?" he replied, though the word sounded confused. "Is he not down yet?"

"He's not," Morgyn answered, the frown on the blond's face deepening. It was good Jackson hadn't spoken to Ezio yet. Morgyn didn't think Ezio needed to know Jackson had been drunk as all get out last night, and the blond had no intention of telling him what Jackson had said, either. That was between Ezio and Jackson, and Morgyn had done enough nosing into Ezio's business. Even if the blond still thought this relationship wasn't going to work out, maybe that was for Morgyn to know and them to figure out.

In the meantime, they had a bigger problem.

"I'll go up," Morgyn said. "If he's up there, I'll figure out what's going on. Stay here in case he turns up before I get back."

"Okay," Drake answered.

"Hang in there," Morgyn said, and scurried up the stairs.

Drake huffed in mild amusement. Morgyn was the one having the panic. The blond was never good at curbing emotional reactions. Even practicing with L was turning out to take a bit of time.

Jackson snorted, pouring a cup of coffee and sitting at the other end of the table. "He's probably just sleeping in," Jackson said.

Drake glanced up at him, his expression flat. Oh sure, maybe if it was _anyone else_ , Drake might buy that. Sometimes, Jackson seemed to wilfully close his eyes to the reality that was right in front of his face. Then, Drake supposed now he and Morgyn knew why Jackson did that. His own inability to deal with this shit wasn't Ezio's problem, however, nor was it Drake's, but Ezio was the one that got hurt for it. Nothing Jackson said last night had changed Drake's opinion of him, and somehow, Drake didn't imagine it changed Morgyn's, either.

"Ezio doesn't _sleep in_ ," Drake said, his tone level. "If you spent longer than two hours at a time around him, you'd know that. But you don't do that. That'd almost be too much."

Jackson's eyes narrowed at the vampire. Both were silent for a moment, and then Jackson took a drink of coffee, setting the cup down on the table. "You don't like me, do you?"

If it took Jackson _this_ long to figure out Drake didn't _like_ him, that was something. Drake's poker face must've gotten better over the years. Either that, or Drake was getting used to disliking Ezio's boyfriends. One of the two.

"That's okay," Jackson said, shifting in his seat to rest one arm on the table. "I can't say I like you, either."

Drake snorted softly. "I'm sorry, I seem to have no fucks left for that one."

Jackson rolled his eyes. It didn't matter any to him anyway, whether the stupid vampire liked him or not. Jackson stood up, picking his coffee up. "I don't know how you guys do this," he grumbled, taking a drink of it as he went out the doorway. If Drake had to take a guess, probably to spend the day in Caster's Alley, like he always did. Valid his reasons may be, Drake didn't think there was a real _excuse_ for not being here when Ezio ostensibly needed him the most. That was none of his business, he supposed. Jackson would either figure it out, or he wouldn't, and which it was wasn't Drake's problem.

At least Ezio wasn't alone. He and Morgyn were here, and Jackson either got with the programme, or didn't. Whether he did or didn't was not Drake's problem.

* * *

Morgyn _really_ wanted to tear into that mother fucker and give him a piece of the blond's mind, perhaps _several_ pieces. How unfair did he have to be, anyway? It wasn't like Ezio wanted to deal with his heart condition either, the only difference was Jackson could run away from it, and Ezio couldn't. At the time, Morgyn had almost felt sorry for the guy. The blond knew, quite well, how hard it was to watch this. It wasn't like Morgyn was a stranger to the feeling of helplessness and frustration that it tended to inspire.

Frankly, the only reason _Morgyn_ hadn't tried to run from it, tempting though it was, was because Morgyn was aware that whatever the blond was feeling, Ezio was feeling it worse. He had no choice. Morgyn did. Jackson may not have figured that out, or maybe he had and simply didn't find it to be worth it (Jackson _loved him_ , he said, that was laughable). Neither option was a good one, in Morgyn's opinion.

The blond shook that off. It didn't matter right now. Right now, Ezio was more important, and Morgyn could just be late helping Elise today, or L could do it, or _something_. For someone that wasn't any good at Untamed Magic, L seemed to have a decent grasp on its usage in theory, at least, and that'd be fine enough for right now. Frankly, concern about the blond's status as a Sage didn't even cross Morgyn's mind at all. Ezio was more important. Instead, the blond shuffled up the stairs, moving around the side and tapping on the wood of Ezio's door. He didn't answer.

"Ezio?" Morgyn called. "Ezio, are you in here?" Morgyn paused a moment, listening. It was absolutely silent, for a moment, and then a loud crash sounded from the bathroom. Morgyn didn't wait, shoving the door open and scooting around the stack of books beside the door and pulling the bathroom door open. Ezio was leaning too heavily on the bathroom counter, breathing erratic and heavy. The floor was coated in glass behind the door where one of the glass jars full of cotton balls had hit the tiling. Morgyn stepped around it, reaching out to pull Ezio away from the counter.

"Come on, not today," the blond said quietly. "We can try again tomorrow, you need to go back to bed." He clearly needed more rest or _something_ , and Morgyn started sorting out what to bring up for him to eat, but one thing at a time.

It took a moment, but Ezio reached out with one hand, taking hold of Morgyn's arm for stability, and let go of the counter. Like the blond had said to, he started towards the door, Morgyn gently guiding him around the glass shards. Morgyn then frowned and waved a hand at it, the glass pulling back together, the cotton balls going back to their place in the jar as it reformed. One foot gently nudged the reformed jar closer to the counter, out of the way, as the two of them meandered past it.

As soon as they were clear of the bathroom door, Morgyn moved a heeled foot and nudged the door closed behind them. "Do you want anything right this second?" Morgyn asked.

Ezio just breathed for a moment, and then shook his head.

"Okay," Morgyn answered. "We're almost there, you can do it."

It was always at times like these, that just how strong Ezio was became obvious. It was awe-inspiring, at least to Morgyn, watching him struggle just to stand, but then the blond said something like that, his jaw set, his eyes hardened with determination, and he made it the last little bit. This time, however, he breathed in, jaw set, eyes hardened… and he shook his head. "Can't," he whispered, "not today." And just like that, Ezio wobbled slightly, and then collapsed against Morgyn's side.

The blond wasn't expecting that, unfortunately, and squeaked, and they both crashed to the floor. "Ezio, no, come on," Morgyn said, nudging him a little to the side. "Come on, yes you can."

Ezio didn't answer. After a few seconds, he stopped breathing for a moment, then unleashed a pained grunt, and curled up against Morgyn's shoulder.

"Oh, oh you're in pain, oh no, okay, alright." Things hadn't gotten this bad in a long time now, and Morgyn did not miss it. The blond blinked rapidly for a moment, trying not to break apart just yet. Morgyn had to get Ezio taken care of and Drake up here, first. Magic used to help calm this down, at least a little, but it'd stopped working so well, and only whatever Drake did made it quit now. They were running out of options.

"Okay, okay, I'll get you up," Morgyn said, nodding, not really to Ezio, and then shifted around under him, and attempted to get him up off the floor. That did not work well, and Morgyn went right back down onto the floor and huffed. "I forgot how heavy you are." Most of Ezio's body weight was muscle. He looked somewhat pudgy, sometimes, but it was all muscle, more that he had a stocky sort of build from years of hard work. Morgyn was spared that, thanks to being born female. "Drake! _Drake_!" He was the only one that could get Ezio up off the floor when he couldn't hold his own weight anymore. Certainly, Morgyn's delicate little lean muscles weren't going to do it.

He seemed to be waiting for that, because Drake came in only a few moments later in a burst of black mist.

"I can't get him up on my own," Morgyn explained.

Drake didn't ask anything else, just reached down and gathered Ezio up into his arms, and moved him across the room. As Drake got Ezio settled down in bed, Morgyn stood up and moved around the other side.

"He's in pain," Morgyn said.

"Yeah, I can see that," Drake answered, reaching down and brushing some of Ezio's hair out of his eyes. He was still breathing all wrong, his skin clammy and pale.

Ezio smiled slightly, reaching up and taking Drake's hand.

Drake smiled back, a bit, his eyes closing to focus on calming Ezio's heart back down. Ezio's other hand reached for Morgyn, and the blond took it, kneeling down on the floor. Ezio's breathing evened out, but as Morgyn looked up, the blond realised it was because Ezio had fainted. That wasn't a good sign.

"Drake -"

"I know," he answered, somewhat distractedly.

Morgyn took a breath in, features scrunching up in concern. The sting of tears came back, but Morgyn fought it off again. They were quiet, Morgyn trying to calm down, Drake focusing on making everything better. Morgyn hated this part. Drake probably did, too.

"Do you want anything?" Morgyn asked.

"A fifth of vodka," Drake answered, snorting quietly.

"I don't think that's a good idea," Morgyn said.

"Yeah," Drake replied. "Probably isn't. You got any miracles?"

Morgyn snorted, reaching up with the hand Ezio wasn't holding to very gently pet his cheek. "I wish I did." They could use a miracle, now.

* * *

The worst of it had passed. Morgyn was glad for it, and somehow had managed not to break down into tears, at least, nowhere near Drake. As much as they understood one another's feelings about it, when things like this happened, it was best not to share. Morgyn always figured, their frustration and panic would ultimately feed in a cycle, and perhaps it'd merely make everything worse. When Ezio wasn't having one of these breakdowns, when it _wasn't_ obvious that Jackson was right, and Ezio _was_ dying, whether they liked it or not, that seemed like a better time to face these issues and talk about things.

Yet, when things were going well and everything was okay, neither wanted to taint the peace with the emotions they stuffed into a proverbial corner and pretended weren't there. They both _hated_ this. There was no doubt about it. And maybe nothing really _needed_ to be said. Because they turned to look at one another, and understood.

Morgyn quietly pulled Ezio's door open, careful not to drop anything. There was a tall cup with a lid in one hand, the other hand carrying a bowl of lukewarm water and a washcloth. The blond reached out with a foot, and pulled the door closed, before moving over to one of Ezio's side tables and setting the water down. Drake was draped half over Ezio, still clinging to his hand, like if he held on tightly enough, Ezio would get better. Morgyn gently rested a hand on his shoulder.

Drake sat up. Morgyn wordlessly handed him the lidded cup; it was a plasma fruit smoothie. Usually, after one of these, Drake needed the plasma, because he wore himself down a good deal doing it. Drake took the cup, and Morgyn picked the bowl of water up again, moving around to the other side and setting it down at that side table instead. Drake had already claimed one side, Morgyn would take the other.

"How is he?" Morgyn asked softly. The blond picked up the washcloth, squeezing the excess water out, and gently pressed it against Ezio's forehead. He was still doing that clammy skin thing that he did sometimes.

"He's stable," Drake answered, taking a drink of the smoothie. "That's the best I can hope for at the moment."

Morgyn glanced sideways at him, then turned back to Ezio. The blond would have to comb through his hair later; it was getting too tangled, and if left alone, it'd eventually become enough of a mess, neither of them would easily be able to smooth it back out. He looked so peaceful like this, but if he was conscious, he might still be in pain.

No one in magic realm, or outside of it, as far as Morgyn knew, had learnt to heal with magic. They never needed it. The question wasn't _whether_ healing with magic could be done or not, the question was how _difficult_ it'd be to figure out. Morgyn occasionally had thoughts in the direction of learning how to, but the problem was Morgyn was missing _something_. An understanding of something, magic, how the human body worked, both? It was difficult to say.

Either way, Morgyn wasn't getting anywhere with it, and didn't have the time to devote to it. There was even less of that time thing, now that Morgyn was a Sage, but the blond hadn't been getting anywhere _before_. There was no sense in being upset about it now.

Sometimes, it just seemed hopeless, and at those times, Morgyn couldn't stand the crushing weight of it. Ezio wasn't getting better. He was getting worse.

"How are _you_ doing?" Morgyn asked, setting the washcloth back into the water, and squeezing the excess out.

Drake snorted, glancing down at the floor. He didn't answer for a moment, took another drink of the smoothie. "I hate this," he said quietly. "You know, every time this happens, I think my heart almost stops too."

Morgyn snorted softly, lips scrunching to one side. "Yeah, mine too," the blond said. Someday, Ezio was going to be gone. Morgyn tried not to think about it. It wasn't that special, anyway, _everyone_ was dying every day, that was what humans _did_. All the same, it was a constant threat, and Morgyn could feel it drawing closer every day, every time one of these episodes happened. Morgyn might hate it, but it was what it was. An inevitability that Morgyn would be better off not expending the effort to fight, and yet every part of the blond wanted to.

When he was gone, Morgyn didn't know what the hell the blond would do. For so long, they'd been each other's best friend, the light they both followed when the night was too dark. Morgyn couldn't imagine ever being that close to someone again. Morgyn didn't think the blond ever would be.

Morgyn set the cloth back into the water, and then reached over and rested a hand against Ezio's cheek for a moment. The sting of tears came back, and Morgyn's hand dropped into the blond's lap, a breath was drawn in, shaky and uncertain.

"I thought this would get easier," Morgyn whispered. It seemed like it was getting harder. Maybe because, with each day that was like this, it was more and more obvious that Ezio was getting worse, and neither Morgyn or Drake knew how to stop it. Ezio was like a train that had fallen sideways across the train tracks, but the momentum was keeping it moving, scraping, _grinding_ across the tracks to that destructive end somewhere further up ahead. If Morgyn had a choice, the blond would go to war with death itself if it meant Ezio never went anywhere Morgyn couldn't follow him. But that would be terribly inefficient, wouldn't it? Death came for everyone, eventually. Ezio, and Morgyn, would inevitably be no exception.

"I wish it would," Drake said.

"I'm glad you're here," Morgyn said, leaning over and resting a cheek against Ezio's hand. "I'm glad you're here, and you can fix this." It made things a little more tolerable, knowing that it wasn't the end of everything. Ezio could get better, and Morgyn just had to get Drake.

Drake fell quiet, for a moment. "I don't think I can for much longer," he said, his voice quiet.

Morgyn sat back up. "What?" What was that supposed to mean?

"It's getting harder to do this," Drake explained. "Ezio's responding to it less and less easily. It's almost like it's learning to fight me."

"You don't think he'd -"

"No," Drake interrupted. "No, it's not him. S'just getting harder. Almost like it's progressing beyond me. Like I don't understand enough about what's going on to fix it, because flukes and happenstance aren't good enough anymore." Drake turned down to the floor again. Ezio needed _something_ , and whatever that something was, Drake didn't think either he or Morgyn had it anymore. Maybe they never did, they just had something that was good enough at the time. And now it simply _wasn't_.

Morgyn's vision blurred, looking at him. "What's that supposed to mean?" Morgyn asked, voice barely a whisper.

Drake didn't answer right away, shifting in his seat.

"Drake, what's that _mean_?" It was louder that time. Drake still didn't answer, like he didn't know what words to use. "He's not going to d -"

" _No_ ," Drake said, tone sharp. "No," he repeated, quieter, and then he took a breath in. "I don't know. Maybe." Even if he didn't _like_ it, he didn't want to lie to Morgyn, either.

Morgyn didn't answer. Then, a sob escaped, and then blond stood up and rushed out the door.

* * *

Down the stairs, heels clicking on the wood loudly due to the speed at which Morgyn flew down them, across the courtyard with the trees and the flowers. One of the floating candles moved out of Morgyn's way, as the blond cut across the middle, skipping the stairs and simply jumping right over them. Morgyn didn't even pause long enough to open the door that led outside, flinging a hand at it. The door crashed open, slamming into the cabinet to the side of it, the glass in both the cabinet and the door cracking.

Not far away, Simeon and L jumped slightly at the sound. The two sages exchanged a glance. L held her hand up, indicating the caster she was speaking with should wait a moment, and she shuffled over to Simeon. "What was that?" L asked.

"Looks like Morgyn," Simeon answered, looking out the window. Simeon gave L a look. "You're better at dealing with it when Morgyn has a moment."

L sighed, and then turned around and followed the blond out the door.

It didn't matter where Morgyn ended up. The blond just needed to be anywhere but there, listening to Ezio breathe weird, knowing that Drake was right even as everything in the sage rebelled against it. These, too, were demons Morgyn didn't know how to fight. When did the blond get powerful enough to stop feeling so helpless?

Morgyn stopped somewhere random, arms wrapping around the blond's frame. The world was a blur that didn't matter anymore, the pain strong enough it was suffocating. Morgyn's hands went up to the sage's face, not bothering to wipe the tears that were falling too fast away, but instead trying to block the rest of the world out. Morgyn fell heavily into the grass, unleashed a strangled cry, and curled up. It wasn't like Morgyn didn't _know_ this. Morgyn and Drake may not have ever put words to it before, but they knew, both of them. It still hurt, more than anything had ever hurt before, to hear someone put words to it. Knowing it, and hearing it, seemed to be two very different things.

The blond didn't hear it, when heeled shoes rustled through the grass towards the sage, and stopped beside Morgyn. L didn't expect Morgyn to respond like that, and wasn't surprised when the blond didn't register anything different. L didn't say anything. Words were useless here. Instead, the older woman knelt down in the grass beside Morgyn, gently reaching over and resting her arms around the blond.

Morgyn startled slightly, but then registered who it was, turned around, and fell into L's arms. The tears wouldn't slow, but the pain had gripped the blond's heart and not let go. Morgyn had been fighting it so long, now that it had started, it seemed impossible to stop it. Morgyn didn't care anymore.

L didn't ask anything, simply shifted around, gently petting Morgyn's hair, rocking just slightly. She wouldn't say pointless things like it'd all be okay, because right now, maybe it wouldn't be. Everything went away, and all things faded with time, but now, when it was fresh and it hurt the most, no, it wouldn't be okay.

It took some time, as all things did. Steadily, Morgyn calmed down a little, the sobs and hiccups became less pronounced, and the blond seemed to be able to breathe again. L leaned to one side, wiping the blackened tear tracks from Morgyn's cheeks. "What was that?" she asked softly.

Morgyn looked away. "Ezio," was the short response.

"Ah," L said. From time to time, Ezio's something or other acted up. Everyone that spent a lot of time in magic realm knew it, and frankly, L had known for a long time now that Ezio was dying. The problem, of course, in this instance was that Morgyn had yet to come to terms with and accept it. How could the blond, anyway? Ezio was the other half of Morgyn, just as Morgyn was the other half of Ezio. L didn't know what would happen, when Ezio finally passed on, but she was willing to bet Morgyn would never be the same again.

"There has to be something," Morgyn said. "I can't just _sit here_ and wait for it to happen, I have to do _something_."

"And what is that, exactly?" L asked. "Morgyn, sometimes these things just _happen_ , and there's nothing -"

" _No_!" Morgyn snapped. "Don't _tell me that_!"

L went quiet, releasing a quiet breath. She reached over, brushing Morgyn's hair back.

"Please, just tell me it'll be okay," Morgyn whispered.

L's gaze softened. "Someday," she whispered back, "it _will_ be okay." But there would be days in between, days that Morgyn most _certainly_ was _not_ okay, and neither was anything in the blond's life okay. There would be days where Morgyn didn't know what to do without Ezio, that were unbearably painful for the hole where Ezio used to be. There would be days where Morgyn almost couldn't be bothered to move forward because Ezio wasn't there. Maybe that loss would never really go away. Maybe Morgyn would just get used to it.

Morgyn's features scrunched up in hurt again, the blond's gaze turning down to the grass. "I don't know what I'll do without him," Morgyn whispered.

"I know," L said. "He's not gone yet, you know."

"It hurts just the same," Morgyn said. "I don't know what would hurt more, having this last bit of time with him and watching him come apart, or not being able to say goodbye and build good memories before he goes."

"Comparing hurt like that isn't a very fair thing to do," L said. "Pain is pain. And pain hurts. People will use that against you, sometimes. Try to tell you that because, objectively, something you went through wasn't as bad as something they did, the hurt you experience from it is overdramatic and invalid. Don't ever fall to that idea, even to yourself, in ways that seem harmless. Hurt is hurt."

Morgyn didn't answer, simply curled up further.

L released a sigh. "Maybe you should stay upstairs and read today," she said.

"No," Morgyn answered. "I need the distraction."

"Is it a distraction, or are you running from it?" L asked.

Morgyn didn't answer right away. Morgyn didn't _know_ the answer right away. It seemed logical that Morgyn was running from it, in a way. The blond did have a habit of running from things that didn't make sense, or that the sage didn't like, and nothing was more uncomfortable for Morgyn than emotions. This was especially true in the case of the emotional muddle that the blond felt about Ezio and his illness, whatever it was. Then, the blond sat up, brushing tears away, and sniffling. "Yes," the blond said. Most likely, if Morgyn had to take a guess, it was a little bit of both a distraction, and running away from it. Morgyn still didn't like Jackson, but he was right about one thing. Sometimes, the only thing to do was run away from it.

"There's no telling how much longer Ezio will make it, Morgyn," L said. "He could make it several more years. He's been like this for so long already."

"I know," Morgyn said. "At the same time, that's why it's so likely that he's going to slip. Because he's already made it so long, and you've seen it, he's getting worse and worse over time. Drake… Drake said he doesn't know if he can keep fixing it anymore. And then what do we do?"

L didn't have an answer for that.

Morgyn took a breath, looking back down at the grass. "Sometimes, all I can handle is the next step. Whatever seems to be the best immediate next decision. Because any further than that, and it all just seems too overwhelming. And maybe that means I'm running from it. But it keeps me moving, all the same."

L was quiet, for a moment, and then reached over and took Morgyn's hands. "One step at a time, right?" she asked.

Morgyn looked up at her. "Yeah," the blond said. "One step at a time."

* * *

Ezio was awake, now. Morgyn was glad for it, even if it was a little concerning. Morgyn supposed, if it was too early for him to be awake, he wouldn't be, but Morgyn had known human bodies and brains to be very stupid at times. The blond couldn't do anything more than hope and trust that Ezio's body knew what it was doing and what it needed, but Morgyn still worried. Still, it was easier to feed him and make sure he was getting enough water when he was awake to eat and drink things himself.

Drake was taking a break, out on the dueling island meditating in peace. The morning's tasks fell instead to Morgyn, and Ezio was going to be in bed for a few more days, probably. Jackson had decided, to Morgyn's annoyance, to suspend his leaving for Sulani a few days, until Ezio felt better and could see him off. It was probably for the best, because if he took off while Ezio was still stuck in bed, Morgyn would probably be tempted to fry him for that, too. Then again, just about _anything_ Jackson did would make Morgyn want to fry him. Bluntly put, Morgyn was disappointed that past Morgyn hadn't done it.

Morgyn secretly wondered if a drunken Jackson would burn easier than a sober one. (Probably not.)

In any case, Morgyn had gotten breakfast together, since Ezio couldn't come downstairs for it, and headed up the stairs. Ezio should be honoured or something, it wasn't every day one got breakfast in bed brought up to them by Morgyn of all people. Well, Ezio was special like that. Morgyn turned the corner, tapping softly on the wood of Ezio's door.

"Come in," Ezio answered. His voice was a little quieter than usual, but otherwise he sounded okay.

Morgyn got the door open, and closed it. "Good morning," Morgyn greeted, trying to sound more cheerful than the blond felt. "I've got breakfast, I hope you have an appetite."

Ezio snorted softly. "A bit of one, at least," he answered. "Good morning."

"Well, there's toast, some grapes and apple slices, scrambled egg whites, and green tea, two sugars, splash of milk. No mint this time, though."

"That's okay," Ezio answered, sitting up.

Morgyn carefully leaned over and set the tray in Ezio's lap, making sure it wasn't going to spill, and then pulled his desk chair out and sat down. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired all the time," Ezio replied, munching on the apples. "I just woke up, but I think I could lay down and go back to sleep."

"Yeah, you're usually tired after episodes like that one." It was a fairly serious incident. Morgyn was still trying not to think about it. The particular weird way he'd been breathing was highly alarming and Morgyn wasn't sure the blond would be able to get over it anytime soon.

"It was a bad one?" Ezio asked.

"You don't remember?"

"Not really, no," Ezio said. "I remember getting up and thinking something about the bathroom, but I don't remember what I went in there for, or anything after that."

Morgyn frowned a bit. He'd apparently been more out of it than Morgyn had thought. Either that, or Drake had done something so that he wouldn't remember. Of course, he had blacked out, that could've caused it but… Morgyn didn't know enough about these things to figure that out. The lacking understanding was becoming more and more frustrating.

"Well, you collapsed against the counter," Morgyn said. "I came up when one of the glass jars crashed to the floor, and tried to get you back to bed, and you couldn't hold your own weight. I had to get Drake to come get you, because you collapsed onto me in such a way I couldn't get you off me on my own."

"Sorry about that," Ezio said, wincing slightly.

"It's not your fault," Morgyn answered. "You passed out after that, but Drake got it calmed down and you slept."

"I see," Ezio said. "Thanks, for breakfast, by the way. You didn't have to."

"I know," Morgyn said. "It's easier on you not to have to come down. You should stay in bed and rest, and until you really _feel_ better this time, okay? Your books will still be there when you do, they're not going anywhere, promise."

Ezio sighed. Morgyn was right, and he knew it. He simply nodded once, popping a grape into his mouth. He seemed to pull into himself a little, as he chewed.

Morgyn frowned, and then started to wonder what Jackson had done that morning. No. There was no sense in jumping to conclusions. Maybe it had nothing to do with Jackson at all, and if Morgyn was pissed off, it was hard to think straight and be of any use. "What's on your mind?" Morgyn asked, instead.

Ezio glanced up at the blond, and then shrugged. "Just some stuff."

Morgyn smiled a little. "You can tell me anything, you know?"

"I know," Ezio answered. "It's just." He paused, releasing a breath. "I think I have to figure them out myself, first, before I can explain them to you."

"Ohh," Morgyn said. "I understand. Whenever you do, I'm here, if you want to talk, okay?"

"Yeah," Ezio said, smiling at the blond.

"I'll let you eat," Morgyn said, standing up and sliding the chair back into place. "If you need anything, I'll be out on the balcony right over there. Drake's at the duelling ground, so he may be a bit harder to get the attention of."

"Okay," Ezio answered. Interestingly, as Morgyn stood up, Ezio noticed that Morgyn's hair was loose and a little frizzier than usual, and the blond wasn't wearing makeup. "Hey, no makeup again?"

Morgyn paused, and smiled. "Yeah, not today," the blond answered. "Sometimes, being less girly is a nice feeling."

"You do seem more relaxed like that," Ezio said.

"I feel it, too," Morgyn said. "I raided your closet the other day, by the way. I borrowed a bunch of your shirts. I'll bring them back later. I'll even wash them first, how nice of me, right?"

Ezio laughed softly. "Oh dear, that's almost too much. You're always welcome to raid my closet though. Not like I care."

"If you're sure about that," Morgyn said.

"Yeah, I don't mind. If you're comfortable with it, that's good. If you're _happier_ , then that's even better. Have a good day, okay?"

"I'll try," Morgyn said, turning to leave. The blond stopped again, partway to the door. "Oh, I almost forgot," Morgyn said, turning back around. "I have some things to do in the normal world later, so I won't be here the day after tomorrow. You'll have to depend on Drake and L, I guess."

The normal world? What would Morgyn need to do outside magic realm? Ezio went out there all the time now, though. He couldn't say anything, and yet for some reason, he got the strongest feeling of dread.

"Okay," he said. He knew better than to try talking Morgyn out of something, anyway. It was needless stress right now. Morgyn was perfectly capable of self-defence, and would likely be just fine. Maybe his nerves were just running away with him.

Morgyn smiled again, and then headed out the door. The dread that settled in the pit of Ezio's stomach became stronger, but he ignored it. He should just focus on feeling better.


	12. God Knows I'm Not Dying

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go, let's get this show on the road.  
> This one really just kind of speaks for itself. So. Much. Symbolism. In this thing. I don't even. Understand your bad guys folks, it makes them easier and more believable to write.  
> I needed this out of my head, really, so for the rest of the day today I'll be doing the screenshots for 11 and this one. Yeah, I know, no screenshots again sorry, sigh, I just wanted it out. (Got both now.)  
> My Blood, Ellie Goulding

The sound of snow crunching under his boots was louder than he expected, and also, somehow, quieter. He made his way towards the trees, following some instinctive pull to somewhere. Ezio could hear it, around the sound of some strange, endless roaring noise, the screeching and singing that he heard in magic realm. For a moment, he wondered if he should follow the sound.

Something told him not to. He didn't, instead turning another direction. There was nothing but blackness, but if he squinted, he could barely make out what he _thought_ were trees, or should be, vegetation. He looked down at his feet, finding black boots with rather the stiletto heel, a black cloak swirling around him, black fur around his neck. Ezio raised his hands. His nails were painted black, black jewellery on one hand. He had to admit, he liked the effect. There wasn't snow under him, that he could see, but he could hear it as he walked.

Someone giggled behind him. He turned around, peering into the blackness. Swirls of slightly less black, perhaps a dingy, dark brown, coiled within it. The giggle returned, in a different place. He turned just in time to see a fluff of white hair disappear into the darkness.

"Wait-" he called. His voice echoed. The roaring grew louder for a moment, before the volume dropped back down. It almost hurt to listen to. Not physically, in his heart. Like it was a scream of agony.

The giggle sounded again. He didn't bother turning this time. "Who are you?"

There was more giggling. The roaring softened. "Come," a voice whispered, but Ezio could only tell that they were young, whoever it was. Ezio wondered if he should be following voices that came out of darkness, that acted like no darkness he'd ever seen before, but something told him he didn't have a choice.

He was here for a reason. And he'd be here until that reason was dealt with.

" _Come_ ," the voice repeated, louder. He could tell where it came from, somewhere in there beyond the black, in that twisting coil of darkness that seemed sentient and _alive_ , somehow. He really shouldn't be walking into sentient pockets of darkness, but alright, today we're living on the wild side.

Ezio moved forward, the crunching sound of snow returning, and stepped into the twisting wall of shadow. He walked on, darkness on all sides, only the occasional giggling of whoever, or _whatever_ , it was he was following, and the snow beneath him, audible. The sound of the snow crunching steadily turned from crunching into a clicking of heels on what sounded like stone. He glanced down again. There was nothing under him but blackness, and little flickers of light that looked like they might be stars.

It was a good thing he wasn't afraid of _heights_ , or that would really fuck him up.

The giggling suddenly stopped. He felt like _he_ should stop, so he did, watching the darkness ahead of him. A young child, pale blue skin, frizzy white hair, and no face, stepped out of the shadows. "She comes," a voice said, and he _knew_ that it was the child, but the voice came from everywhere and nowhere at once.

She?

The child disappeared back into the shadows, leaving Ezio with his maelstrom of thoughts and questions. He looked around. Strangely, he wasn't scared. Like he _knew_ this place, somehow. Ezio knelt down, tapping whatever it was he was standing on. The stars jerked around, like they were mere glitter suspended in water, and the tapping had disturbed them. That was familiar, too. He'd been here before, but he didn't remember when.

"In the time before you had a name," a feminine voice answered his thought.

Ezio blinked in surprise and looked up. A dusky skinned, violet eyed, white haired woman stepped out of the shadows this time, the darkness seeming to melt off her, and also create her, at the same time. His eyes narrowed. Keish - no. That wasn't Keisha. It _was_ Keisha, but it _wasn't_.

"I see," Ezio answered. He had no idea what she was talking about, but he didn't know a lot of things, right now. "And where is this?"

"You'll understand," 'Keisha' answered, stepping around him. "It doesn't matter, just now. I came to warn you."

"I think in this instance, all due respect, I came to you," Ezio said.

'Keisha' looked amused, turning around to look at him. "You always were my favourite," she said. "Morgyn could quite easily fall to the darkness in his own heart, and quickly. I believe that only you can stop it."

Ezio's gaze narrowed. He thought about it, for a moment. Sure, Morgyn did have a notable darkness. Ezio didn't think it was any stronger or more significant than anyone else's. _Everyone_ had darkness in their hearts. It was up to them to keep the light in their heart shining brightly enough to keep it from taking over, and Morgyn had never proven incapable of that much.

His gaze fell to the darkness below, and as they rose again to meet 'Keisha's gaze, he caught sight of a cluster of lights, moving in tandem in the darkness. The cluster was moving away. Almost unconsciously, he started to follow them, but then stopped. Something told him not to. Was it her, that told him such things? Ezio glanced at her.

She simply arched one eyebrow a hair.

He looked away, and noticed his breath hanging in the air. Then, there was a sharp sting in his fingers. He raised his hands. Frost was spreading across his fingers. Ezio was freezing, here. Still, it didn't scare him.

The frost was his.

"L said almost the same thing," Ezio said.

"I'm sure she did," 'Keisha replied, moving around him. Unlike he did, she made no sound when she walked. "You two were born together for a reason, Ezio. Not all is as it seems. Magic realm may be in more danger than I first thought, than anyone can imagine."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Ezio asked.

"A storm is rising," she answered. "And _you_ are nosing into things that are not any of your business, to be frank. Still, there is a destroyer awakening. I suppose what you do in this instance is your decision, even if I don't _agree_ with it."

Ezio's eyebrows furrowed together. "Wait, what's a destroyer?"

'Keisha' rolled her eyes. "Someone that can cause great change. Destroyers are neither inherently good, nor inherently bad. Simply, they have potential to become either one. Which they become is ultimately up to them, and the influences they have on their journey. The future is uncertain, rife with conflict and hardship, and I foresee that things will become much harder before they get easier."

Ezio blinked. That was all? "That sure sounds like life alright."

"No, worse," 'Keisha' answered. "The future is yet to be decided. This destroyer has not chosen a side, and may still become either one. I feel that you can influence how things turn out."

Ezio snorted. "And what on earth makes you think that?" He could feel the frost spreading up his arms, now.

'Keisha' looked up at him, her eyes meeting his. "I believe this destroyer to be Morgyn," she said. "No one has more influence with Morgyn than you do."

Ezio released a sigh. "Great, now my twin might be going crazy." As if he didn't have _enough_ to deal with in his life.

"Everyone's going crazy," 'Keisha' said. "All the time. It's just that most of them die before they get there."

That was strangely not comforting.

"It wasn't meant to be," she said.

"How do you do that?"

"We _are_ in your soul," 'Keisha' said. "I can read your mind here. I know you better than you know yourself, here, and if you're smart, so do you."

What? Never mind. "Creepy, nice." Ezio nodded slightly, looking around. "Wait, I'm sorry, are we talking about _Morgyn's_ darkness, and not going to address… _mine_?" he asked, gesturing at the wall of twisting darkness.

"That's not _darkness_ , dear," 'Keisha' answered. "That, is something entirely different. And it's not yours."

How was that even possible? "It's not mine."

"It is a memory," 'Keisha' said. "A memory, long buried by time, and many, many deaths, that your soul believes is important to you, now. You don't have much time left, here, so I will keep this brief. I don't understand its meaning. I didn't live those lives you lived. The destroyer knows things that others do not, is strong, and has great influence. People tend to be drawn to, and very much like, a destroyer. Like all things in this life, destruction is merely a tool. It is how one uses it that makes it good or bad. You must guide Morgyn the right way, or he may destroy _everything_."

Ezio began to ask what made her think that, but as soon as he opened his mouth to speak the words, he sat bolt upright in bed, breathing heavily and hard. As he struggled to catch his breath, he noticed it still hanging in the air, staring at the little puff of vapour. Instinctively, he turned down at his hands, catching sight of the frost receding, and disappearing from his fingertips.

Distantly, he heard a child giggle, and he wondered if he'd ever find a spirit that gave him messages without nearly _killing_ him.

* * *

"You _do_ actually like roses, right?" Jackson asked.

Ezio snorted, scooting around to rest on Jackson's chest. It was nice, just listening to him breathe, sometimes. Knowing that there was someone else there, even if maybe things weren't always the best between them. "I like whatever you want to get me," Ezio said.

Jackson snorted, arching an eyebrow. "You don't have _any_ preferences at all?"

"Well, I like purple things," Ezio said. "But the point isn't the flower itself, Jackson. It's what the flower represents."

"Uh-huh." Jackson didn't get it.

"That you're _thinking_ of me, silly," Ezio said.

"I knew that." He didn't know that.

Ezio was still on bed rest. The dream he'd had that night had alarmed Drake a little, too. His hands were cold, his heartbeat had slowed down, and his windows had frosted over for no reason. Drake, Jackson, and Morgyn thought he'd lost control of his magic in his sleep. Ezio wasn't ready to talk about it, so they could keep thinking that, if they wanted. It was easier on him. It meant they didn't ask questions that he wasn't ready to answer, questions that maybe he didn't _have_ answers to.

"Well, I'll stay a couple days longer," Jackson said. "That way, you can feel a bit better and we can spend a little time together before I go, and you can see me off."

"Really?" Ezio asked.

"Sure," Jackson answered, smiling. "I wanna be sure you're okay, anyway. I know Morgyn can handle it, I know. I'm just worried about you."

Ezio smiled quietly, turning his head down to nuzzle closer. Jackson snorted softly, reaching up to run his fingers through Ezio's hair. Maybe Ezio was just worrying about nothing. Morgyn's paranoia had just made _him_ paranoid, too, that was all. So what if they fought sometimes? Ezio and Morgyn fought all the time, too. No one was telling him _Morgyn_ was hurting him, or telling Morgyn that he was hurting the blond. It was ridiculous. They just had to work things out, that was all, and maybe that was hard to do because Jackson was never here, but Ezio understood that.

There were just some things he couldn't be involved in. He knew that.

"Ez," Jackson said, quietly, resting his head against Ezio's. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" Ezio asked, gaze turning up towards his face.

"The other night, when I hurt you," he said. "I was just tired, and I lost my temper, and that's not an excuse, I know that. I'll do better."

Ezio smiled, his gaze turning down again, following the wrinkles and folds in Jackson's shirt. "It's okay."

"No, it's really not," Jackson said. "I shouldn't be hurting you."

"It's fine," Ezio reiterated. "I've lived through worse than that, it just scared me that's -"

"Worse?" Jackson asked. "Wait, has someone… Ezio…" Jackson shimmied downward, making their eyes meet.

It was strange, and it almost made Ezio's heart hurt, to see the concern in his eyes. "A long time ago," Ezio said. "That was… such a _long_ time ago, really, it's -"

"Oh, god baby I'm so sorry," Jackson said, reaching up to cup Ezio's cheeks, leaning forward and kissing his forehead. "I'm sorry, so, so sorry, that was probably so terrifying -"

"No, it's not like you knew, and anyway, it's fine -"

"Not fine," Jackson argued. "… is that why you're so weird in bed?"

"What?" Ezio asked. "I'm weird? I didn't know that, I'm sorry -"

"No it's - I didn't mean it like that, don't change anything," Jackson said. "Better yet, forget I said that."

"But -"

"Shh, it's okay." Jackson moved closer, wrapping his arms around Ezio. "I didn't say anything. You're wonderful just the way you are."

Sometimes, Ezio wasn't sure what he felt, for Jackson, about him, he wasn't sure what it was he wanted. And then the Jackson that he'd met, all that long ago in Caster's Alley by chance, showed up again, and he remembered. He remembered how glad he was that Jackson was in his life, how much Jackson seemed to adore him, and all the things Morgyn said against him didn't matter anymore.

"How did we get here?" Ezio asked, quietly.

Jackson snorted softly, thinking. "I don't know, really," he said. "But I feel like the luckiest man in the world."

"Stop it," Ezio said, glancing away and pretending he didn't feel the heat spreading across his cheeks.

"You're so damn cute when you do that," Jackson said. "You're right though, I'm the luckiest man in the universe."

"Oh _come on_ ," Ezio said.

"No, how about in the multiverse? There are other universes, right?"

"Well theoretically but you can't be lucky to get me."

"And why not?" Jackson asked.

"I'm just a nameless nobody from France, Jackson," Ezio said.

"You're Ezio Ember," Jackson answered. "That doesn't sound like nobody to me. And you're mine either way."

"Yours huh?" Ezio asked. "Maybe you're mine."

"Oh, is that it?" Jackson asked, his eyebrows raising. He scooted down a little again, reaching over a poking Ezio's side.

"What are you doing -" Ezio asked, squirming away.

"I just remembered you're ticklish -"

"No I'm not -"

The argument was lost, as Jackson tickle-attacked, and Ezio's laughter was all that was heard. Ezio squirmed towards the foot of the bed, attempting to escape him, and almost wriggled right off onto the floor. Jackson caught his arm and pulled him back up, and then went right back to his tickling. Ezio grabbed one of the pillows, and smacked Jackson in the shoulder with it.

And then, quite suddenly, Ezio started gasping for air, and curled up. Jackson frowned, leaning over.

"Ezio, baby, what happened?" he asked. "What's wrong?"

Ezio didn't answer, at first. Jackson slid off the bed, pulling Ezio up and lying him down, then took his wrist and felt his pulse. It'd gone erratic and messy.

"Okay, that was too much exertion, I'm sorry," he said, kneeling down on the floor. Ezio was still breathing strangely, but after a few moments of consciously trying to control it, Ezio managed to calm it down.

"It's okay," Ezio said.

Ezio said that, but Jackson felt like all he could do anymore was hurt him.

"Hey, I just need to rest some more, okay?" Ezio said, taking his hand. Jackson looked upset.

"I know," Jackson said, but he didn't look too reassured. "I'll go downstairs for a bit," he said. "You rest, okay?"

Ezio groaned.

Jackson sat up, and kissed his cheek. "You need to get better, babe," he said. "And I need to not hinder you from getting better and resting. I'll be back later." Jackson stood, kissing Ezio's knuckles, and then gently setting his hand down on the bed. He turned, and went down the stairs.

One bad thing about running from it. Jackson had no idea how to deal with it.

* * *

That was a lot of suitcases. Ezio wasn't surprised by it, though. Jackson would be gone for a while, even though he'd been to Sulani probably ten or fifteen times, if Ezio was any good at keeping track (he probably wasn't). Mostly, these places were just names that didn't mean anything to him. He'd never seen any of them with his own eyes, and sometimes Ezio wondered if they really existed or not. There was no reason for Jackson to be making these places up. Unless, of course, for some reason, he didn't want to stay here.

Lilith's words echoed in his head. How many times did Jackson have to see Selvadorada, before Ezio understood it wasn't Selvadorada he left for? There were definitely times when it seemed like Jackson didn't want to be here. Times when Ezio thought he was doing his best never to spend too much time around him, but he always thought it was just _Morgyn_ getting to him.

Maybe that was just what he told himself to make himself feel better.

"Are you sure you can't stay longer?" Ezio asked.

"Sorry, baby," Jackson answered, pulling his clothes out of the closet. "I've already pushed it back as far as I can."

Ezio was quiet for a moment. "I miss you, when you're away."

"I miss you too," Jackson said. "But it'd be a big waste of money, and a waste of time, I've had this trip planned for weeks, you know that."

Yeah, Ezio did know that. But instead of answering, he just looked down at the sheets.

Jackson released a sigh, shuffling over to him, and taking both his hands. "Ezio, you know if I could, I'd just take you with me. There's a nice waterfall we could disappear in together. Beautiful, clear water, you can see down forever and then it all disappears in a muddle of blue. It's beautiful."

Ezio smiled for a moment, then took his hands back, and stood up, walking towards the door. "It won't ever happen," he said. "Jackson, I'm not getting better. I don't think I ever will."

"What makes you think that?" Jackson asked.

"Drake can't stop it as easily," Ezio said softly, stopping and staring at the wall through the stained glass. "I'm getting _worse_." And someday…

Jackson released a breath, standing back up and coming to stand behind Ezio. He didn't say anything for a while. "You're really a downer sometimes, you know that?"

"I'm just realistic," Ezio said, his head turning to the side, to look at Jackson through his periphery.

"That's mighty convenient, though, isn't it?" Jackson asked.

"What is?" Ezio asked in return.

"I should stay, huh, because if I don't, you may be gone when I get back," Jackson said. "You know, it all just seems really convenient."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Ezio asked, his eyebrows furrowing.

"Look, I'm just saying that you have an awfully accurate habit of having some real damn heavy news to drop on me about when it'd be useful for making me feel like _shit_ to walk away from you."

Ezio was quiet, for a moment, staring at Jackson like he couldn't believe Jackson had just said that.

"And sometimes, it just feels like you're going through the motions of _pretending_ to try stopping me, and I gotta wonder if you want me here at all," Jackson went on.

"What, you _want_ me to stop you?" Ezio asked.

"Damn it, Ezio, I want _you_."

Ezio turned around to face him, and released a huff. "Jackson, let me ask you this," he said. "Why did you ask me out?" What was it that Jackson _saw_ in him, anyway? Come to think of it, another great question was, why did Ezio _say yes_? Because it was times like these, when Ezio's emotions were running high and he didn't know what he felt, that he wondered that. And maybe those weren't things someone should be wondering about their boyfriend.

Jackson rolled his eyes. "I figured, if I let you get away, I was gonna regret it for the rest of my life. I was probably right."

"And why did you think that?" Ezio asked.

"What is this, an interrogation?" Jackson asked.

Ezio didn't answer, just stared at him, his arms crossing over his chest.

"Have you looked in a mirror recently?" Jackson asked, instead.

Ezio looked away, just slightly. Now that he was thinking about it, when Jackson had compliments, talked about things he liked about Ezio, they were usually surface-level things. So what was he really attracted to, just his body? Obviously _that_ wasn't going to last forever, considering it was _dying_.

"For someone that claims to want me so much," Ezio said, "you sure have a real damn shitty way of showing it." Ezio turned around, reaching out and pulling the door open.

Jackson shifted behind him, reaching over him and closing the door, effectively trapping him between him and the door.

"Let me leave, Jackson," Ezio said.

"I'm talking to you," Jackson answered. "You don't get to walk away from me."

He was doing it again. Just like everything he ever said, that wasn't true either. He wasn't sorry, and here they were again. Ezio shoved the panic down. "There's no point in talking about this right now," Ezio said, his tone calmer than he felt, but if one listened, the slightest shaking in his voice might be heard.

"Funny that too," Jackson said. "Every time we start talking about something _important_ , you run away. What the hell are you really running from?"

"Nothing," Ezio said. "Getting too angry at each other simply doesn't solve anything and I need time to think."

"I didn't _say_ you could have time to think," Jackson answered. "We're talking, you don't get to just walk out on me."

Ezio's eyebrows furrowed further, his voice raising slightly. "And you don't get to make my decisions -"

"And you don't _raise your voice to me either_!" Jackson snarled, grabbing Ezio's shoulder and making him turn around long enough to backhand him.

Ezio loosed a shriek, slammed into the door, and then hit the floor, the panic alighting in his eyes. He rolled over, starting to scramble across the floor to the balcony. Jackson caught him around the waist, shoving him onto the floor and pinning him down.

" _Get off me_!" Ezio barely got the words out before a burst of black shot up from the floor. Drake, his eyes a brighter glow than normal, reached down, grabbed Jackson by the back of his shirt and threw him into the bathroom door, forcing him to let Ezio go.

Drake turned around, standing between them. Ezio scrambled up off the floor, tucking himself behind Drake, and Jackson snarled in annoyance, one hand sparkling with magic.

"No!" Ezio threw his hands up instinctively, and Jackson's hand froze to the door; then, the ice shot across his chest, firmly affixing him to the wood.

The cold caught Jackson off-guard. He startled, looked up at Ezio. He'd frozen him to a _door_ , and then he saw it. The blood leaking down Ezio's chin from his lip.

Damn it. He'd done it _again_.

No one moved. No one said anything. None of them even really breathed, but Ezio saw it, the regret in Jackson's eyes, and he felt bad about freezing him to the door. But if he hadn't, Jackson would've attacked Drake, and - Ezio glanced over at Drake. His eyes were the _brightest_ shade of ice blue Ezio had ever seen them be, almost white. He could see the stiffness in the lines of his body, the way his muscles were contracted, ready to spring on a moment's notice.

Ezio had never seen him so angry.

"If I ever," Drake said, his tone low, and almost a snarl, "catch you anywhere _near_ Ezio again, understand that I will kill you."

Ezio sucked in a breath, glancing between them.

Jackson held Drake's gaze, for a long moment, and then looked down at the floor. "Unfreeze me."

Ezio glanced at Drake. Very minutely, he could see Drake nod once, and Ezio raised his hands, and pulled the magic back. The ice receded, breaking into tiny little sparks of light that faded away. Jackson stepped closer, looking at Drake. Drake met his gaze, one arm reaching behind him to take Ezio's wrist and make sure the caster _stayed_ behind him. For a long moment, Ezio thought for sure one or the other was going to lunge.

And then, just like that, Jackson released a snort, turned to the door, and pulled it open. Without another word, he stalked off into the hallway, and presumably, down the stairs. As his footsteps faded, Ezio squeaked, and released a sob. Drake turned around, gently wrapping his arms around him, as Ezio broke apart into tears.

"It's okay," Drake said, softly. "You're safe now."

Yes, Ezio was safe, he thought, clinging to Drake's shirt and burying his face in it like Drake was the only thing keeping him from physically falling apart. But nothing would ever be the same again.

* * *

This was disturbingly familiar, Ezio thought. He sat in a chair, holding still while Drake dealt with the blood from his lip. Jackson had managed to split his lip, and now that it was over, all Ezio could feel was regret that it'd turned out that way, that he'd reacted like that, that Drake had gotten involved at all. He shouldn't have done that. And Ezio was quite sure, that if they sat down and talked it out, it'd be perfectly fine. They just needed to calm down a little bit, that was all.

Ezio sniffled quietly. He'd been crying off and on, even after the blinding panic had subsided, and frankly he didn't know why. He'd lived through so much worse than _that_ , that was nothing. There was nothing to be so damned upset about, he was just being a selfish jerk over it. Jackson was right, there were a lot of times when things seemed to line up in strange ways, and maybe there wasn't anything for that, but Ezio shouldn't have reacted that way. Jackson's concerns were valid. They could've had a conversation about them, something constructive, but just like Jackson said, things got serious, and Ezio ran away from it. It wasn't fair for him to ask Jackson to stay and then turn around and be the one that ran away. No wonder Jackson lost hise temper, Ezio was being completely unfair and kind of a jerk.

Grey eyes flicked over to look at Drake. Ezio could still see it, in the way he moved, his posture, even as he was incredibly gentle cleaning the blood off, that Drake was still very pissed off. It scared him to see it. Ezio looked away. He didn't understand _why_ Drake was so angry, it didn't make any sense to him. Maybe he was just mad that Drake had needed to intervene on his behalf, _yet again_ , because Ezio always needed help. Two hundred years later, you'd think by now Ezio would be able to fight his own fights, but he couldn't.

It was pathetic.

"You're really mad," Ezio said.

"I'm not mad at you," Drake answered, his tone weirdly calm and soft for how tense he was.

"You should be," Ezio answered.

"Why?" Drake asked.

"I needed you again." It was always Ezio that needed Drake. He shouldn't be surprised. Things had been that way since France, and despite his best efforts to try and change it, Ezio still needed him, still depended on Drake more than was fair. Sure, he had Morgyn now, too, and Ezio would always need Morgyn the same, but Morgyn was one thing. Here Drake was, hundreds of years later, still dealing with the stray dog his uncle had dragged in one day. And maybe the worst part was that Drake seemed to be okay with it.

It was _always_ Ezio that needed Drake. Drake didn't need him.

Drake paused a moment, looking at Ezio, though Ezio's head was bowed, gaze on the wood floor. Drake wasn't sure what to say to that. But then, maybe the truth was best, here. He tried to be honest with Ezio, anyway. "I lived through this kind of thing once," Drake said. "A long time ago. I couldn't do anything back then, not enough. I'm not as helpless now, Ezio. And I will not live through that again, especially not from someone that's meant to love you."

Ezio looked up at him, and then back down at the floor. Drake went back to dealing with Ezio's injury. He'd found Ezio's injured wrist along the way, and wrapped it in a support.

"I never did convince myself that he loved me," Ezio said. "I just hoped that maybe someday he could."

Drake almost groaned for the irony of that. Jackson had said something similar about Ezio, but Drake wasn't going to tell Ezio that. The younger man had a habit of seeing the best in everyone, and Jackson would be no exception. He'd seen it at France. Ezio would come up with rationalisations, make logical sense of these things, find a way to put all of the blame on himself, and he would carry that blame right back to Jackson and pretend that nothing had happened.

Jackson may not have been a bad guy, but he was a terrible boyfriend, at least, to Ezio.

"I meant what I said, Ezio," Drake said quietly. "If he comes anywhere near you again, I will kill him."

Ezio's eyebrows raised in distress. "Drake, no," he said. "He didn't mean it, it was an accident -"

"That was _not an accident_ ," Drake said, his tone sharper than he intended. "You do not _accidentally_ backhand your boyfriend into a glass door and pin him down."

Ezio recoiled slightly, but then remembered that this was Drake, and he was not, and likely never would be, afraid of Drake. He had strong feelings about this, that was all. "I… Drake I messed -"

"It was not your fault, either," Drake said, a bit calmer. "Ezio, no one makes someone hurt someone else but themselves. It is nothing more than his own mind that drives a man to evil. You had _nothing_ to do with it. You just happened to be there."

Ezio stayed quiet, but he felt the sting of tears, and his heart squeeze, and before he could stop it, a sob escaped. "Why is it always me?" he asked, between the sobs. His legs pulled up onto the chair, and he folded into himself, but Drake reached out and loosely pulled him into his arms.

"I don't know," he said. "Because you're a light, Ezio, full of compassion and generosity, and corruption is drawn to it, whether to try and save itself, or to destroy things that are good to make itself feel better. But don't ever think that is your fault. They want to tear you down, because they will never be what you are. Don't let them take your light."

Ezio squeaked against him. "Please don't tell Morgyn," Ezio said. "You almost killed him, but Morgyn will hunt him down."

Drake sighed. "I won't tell Morgyn. As long as he doesn't ever come back."

* * *

Ezio stepped out of the shower, wrapping a towel around his waist and sliding the shower door closed. Today was the first time he could manage one of those standing on his own, and it was embarrassing to need help with things like a shower, things he should be perfectly fine managing on his own. But there were a lot of things that Ezio should be able to manage on his own that he couldn't.

He picked up another towel, holding it against his face, and then set it on his hair and rubbed the water out. As he looked up at himself in the mirror, he caught sight of the bluish bruise on his lip. That sure did leave a mark, didn't it? So far, Morgyn hadn't seen it, but eventually, Morgyn wouldn't be busy anymore, and would come in to see how he was doing. What was Ezio supposed to say? Well, maybe he could say something about smacking himself in the face with something on accident. Ezio generally wasn't a very good liar. Morgyn would _probably_ see right through it, but it didn't matter. By the time Morgyn thought to get pushy about it, Jackson would be long gone, off to Sulani, or wherever he was actually going.

He tried to imagine it, in his head, this Sulani place. Jackson said that the trees were tall and the sand was bright, and soft. Bushes and bunches of exotic and brightly coloured plants scattered across the beaches, the coral striking under the clear water. The skies were the palest blue, the sun bright and warm, and the people were friendly and helped each other. Ezio thought it sounded simultaneously like heaven, and like it would be far too warm. Ezio had a low tolerance for warmth, but he could stay in the snow and ice forever.

He remembered, then, the dream of the darkness and the cold. The woman he'd spoken to had said that they were in his soul, and he still didn't know what that meant. Though she had explained the technical definition of what a destroyer was, Ezio wasn't sure he fully understood.

How was he supposed to keep Morgyn from doing _anything_? Morgyn wasn't the sort of person someone thought to _control_ , by any means. Morgyn did whatever it was Morgyn wanted to do, and everyone else simply dealt with it, whatever the effects happened to be. Even if, somehow, he _could_ control Morgyn, Ezio didn't think he'd want to. He loved Morgyn for who the blond was, not who he thought Morgyn should be.

His lip was bleeding again. Ezio released a sigh, looking at it in the mirror, and then he pulled the towel off his hair, set it on the counter, and turned around to open the medicine cabinet on the wall. As he did, several black sticks fell out of it and clattered to the floor. Ezio made a face, kneeling down for a moment to pick them up. Morgyn's eyeliner had apparently found its way into Ezio's bathroom, and for the life of him he wasn't sure - ohhh, no, now he remembered. Morgyn had ended up clinging to him one night because of a nightmare instead of sleeping in the dolt's own room.

Ezio smiled softly, at that memory. He didn't know what he'd do without Morgyn. Maybe he'd be a very different person, because it'd be like the other half of him was gone. Certainly, back in France, after Morgyn had gone, Ezio had started to turn into the cold and distant person that his magic's default element would suggest he was. Then, he and Drake had made it to magic realm, and reunited with Morgyn, and it was like suddenly he saw the sun again.

He stood back up, setting the medicine he was after in the first place, and Morgyn's eyeliner, on the counter. He'd take the pencils to the blond later. As he looked up at himself in the mirror, to deal with the blood his lip was leaking again, for just a moment, he was staring at someone else in the mirror where his reflection should have been. He sucked a breath in, but it was gone as quick as it came, and he blinked rapidly. He was used to spirits making him hallucinate, but, now that he thought about it, the eyes looking back at him were… his own.

Ezio frowned slightly, one hand reaching out and touching the mirror. Of course, nothing happened, but as he stared at his own eyes in the mirror, the more sure he was. But they were darker, around the lid, dusted in silver, his lips painted black. He tried to remember that split second flash, and the black cloak, fur trim, and black painted nails came to him. He looked like that in the dream. Was that what he'd been wearing? Black lipstick and eyeliner?

Caleb wore eyeliner, sometimes, and Caleb looked good in it. Actually, Ezio thought he was kind of cute. After a moment, though, Ezio loosed a "Pfft" sound. Ezio wasn't terribly cute, actually, that was Morgyn. Ezio was the quiet one, the unassuming one in the back that wasn't remarkable one way or another. He didn't turn heads, or light up any rooms. Most never noticed he was there at all. The one that turned heads and lit up rooms was Morgyn. Morgyn was drop-dead stunning.

Ezio was just a poor imitation of Morgyn.

He shook his head, turning away from the eyeliner pencils, and turning to look at the mirror. This blood wasn't taking care of itself.

Jackson should be leaving for Sulani either tomorrow or the next day. If Ezio hurried about it, he might be able to catch him in the Alley before Jackson went to Sulani. They could work things out, and, if he had to, he'd freeze Morgyn and Drake to something, maybe each other, until they calmed down and talked about everything.

Ezio didn't want to give up on love. He didn't want to give up on Jackson, so he wouldn't.


	13. A Series of Blurs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, hello, here we are, the church scene. Feel free to lose your mind over it, just do it somewhere else, because, quite bluntly, I don't care. c:  
> I was actually raised Christian, my mother was Catholic and my father Baptist I believe, but I myself am a Kemetic pagan (I got you with random ancient Egypt trivia shit, particularly mythology), though I don't consider myself religious so much as spiritual.  
> Morgyn and Ezio were raised Catholic, most likely, which I assume the closest Simsy equivalent would be Jacoban, but Ezio never leans on it because frankly he doesn't need it. He finds his answers internally. Morgyn is the opposite, and needs outside input and external ideas to work things out, and so something like religion is very attractive to Morgyn. This is not the last religious theme we'll see, either, because Morgyn never quite makes it to being fully Jacoban, but never lets it go, either.  
> This chapter actually has three theme-songs: The Hardest Thing, 98 Degrees; Halcyon, Ellie Goulding; and Someday You Will Be Loved, Death Cab for Cutie. I named it after the latter, because I feel like it's the most fitting, but The Hardest Thing is Jackson > Ezio, and Halcyon is Ezio > Jackson.  
> Yes, we are now free of Jackson. Rejoice. He kind of surprised me this chapter with his precise level of self-awareness, though, and how well he does actually know Ezio.

This was a little bit ridiculous. Morgyn didn't believe in these kinds of things. They defied logic, at least the logic that Morgyn understood, but at this point, the blond had nothing else to turn to, either. Humans, after all, had a tendency to accept defiance of logic, if it made them feel better. It seemed, Morgyn would be no exception. If nothing else, the point of this sort of person, their role in society, was to guide people. And damned if Morgyn couldn't use a little guidance.

The blond released a breath, looking up at the illuminated cross on the outside of the church. It seemed like a peaceful place. The building wasn't small by any means, though it featured a centre courtyard, the building wrapping around the side. There was a short tower to one side, floor to ceiling windows. Morgyn distantly remembered the churches of 1700s France, and remembered them being far less impressive. The world had certainly changed over the years since Morgyn had been gone, but it wasn't like Morgyn didn't know that. The blond came out on occasion, for certain things.

There were still many things Morgyn didn't tell Ezio, and there were reasons for that, of course.

For a long moment, Morgyn simply stared at the place. The sign out front of it called it Saint Mary's. Distantly, Morgyn could hear the sound of children playing, but wasn't sure where it was coming from. The blond drew a breath in, and then marched across the street, following the walkway to the door. Morgyn stopped outside it, looking up at the illuminated cross. Weren't witches supposed to explode into flames upon entering a church? Then again, Morgyn _thought_ that was evil beings, not really witches, but then the church always figured witches were evil, right? Whose morality did that go by?

Ugh, that was stupid. Morgyn shook slightly, deciding to ignore those thoughts, push them out of mind, and then the blond reached out, pushed the door open. Morgyn would never admit it, but the blond's breath was held as Morgyn stepped across the doorway threshold into the church. There was a slight echoing _tap_ as Morgyn's heels touched the wood floor, and nothing. Morgyn released the breath, letting the door go. It silently closed behind the blond, as Morgyn wandered inside, looking around. Somehow, this place felt peaceful and inviting, not strict and cold like some of the churches Morgyn had ever seen.

Maybe this was stupid… there was another illuminated cross on the far back wall. Morgyn watched it for a moment, and then walked towards it, settling down in a seat towards the front. The blond never mastered how to pray. It'd always seemed like a waste of time and energy, when one could _do_ something instead. Everyone always said you had to pray to get into heaven, but they never told you what to say when your life went to hell.

Morgyn's arms wrapped around the blond's frame, watching the candlelight flicker beneath the cross. Flowers and plants were scattered around, the pulpit's Jacoban banner waving slightly in a breeze Morgyn couldn't feel. And then, someone sat down next to the blond, watching the cross. Morgyn glanced to the side, finding the priest sitting there. The blond turned back to the cross. Neither said anything, for a long moment. Somehow, the priest managed to soothe some of Morgyn's frayed nerves, just by being there.

"You seem conflicted about something," the priest eventually said.

Morgyn snorted softly. "My brother's dying," the blond said. "A hundred years ago, they'd say it was Watcher's will, that it was how things were meant to be and there was nothing to be done about it, but pray for his soul and have faith that it was enough. I'm not the praying type, I think."

The priest smiled. "Some people aren't," he said. "Sometimes, I think Watcher is like a parent. The Watcher's design and will is that we learn and progress, and we must face challenges that force us to think about things in a way that we begin to solve the unsolvable. Everything happens for a reason, after all. Many wonder, if Watcher loves everyone, then why is there suffering in the world? You don't grow and learn by someone doing everything for you. There's a saying, Watcher helps those that help themselves, and I think it says a lot about how much can be done when we stop wallowing and panicking, and _do_ , instead. Watcher will help, but you must take those first steps yourself."

Morgyn glanced at him, for a moment, and then turned back to the cross. The lights flickering gave the impression they knew something Morgyn didn't. Morgyn wasn't sure what to make of that impression. But maybe the priest was right. Maybe it was an obstacle that Morgyn was meant to overcome somehow. Certainly, Morgyn didn't intend to mention the magic, but it was possible that the blond was intended to figure out how to fix it with magic.

Morgyn didn't know where to start.

"What if you don't know where to begin?" Morgyn asked.

The priest was quiet, for a moment, and then tilted his head slightly. "Follow your heart," he said. "That's where Watcher speaks to us, often so quiet we have to be still to hear it."

Morgyn snorted softly, one leg crossing over the other. "You know, I have a friend teaching me how to listen to my heart," the blond said. "I'm not very good at it."

"Humans are potential," the priest said. "Sometimes you need to do something for a long time before you get good at it, but you _can_ do it."

Morgyn was quiet again. Then, the blond's head tilted slightly. "My heart tells me something strange, sometimes," the blond said.

"How strange?" the priest asked.

"I feel, sometimes, like there are expectations, because I'm female. But I don't feel like I'm female, or that I can meet those expectations," Morgyn answered.

"I see," the priest said. "Do you feel like you're male?"

"Sometimes," Morgyn said. "Other times, I don't really feel like either one."

The priest leaned forward in his seat, resting his arms on his legs. He was quiet for a long time, gazing at the cross on the wall, and then said, "I know what I'm _supposed_ to tell you, but I don't feel like that's the right answer. The teachings don't talk about the complexities of gender identity directly, but it is clear enough that your biological sex is meant to indicate your gender identity. But I believe that the Watcher doesn't make mistakes. Mistakes are something people do. In believing that, I have to figure that there's a reason that you are this way. There's a reason that you feel like that, and it is part of the grand design, even if it seems counter-intuitive to it for some. I'm not Watcher, so I don't know. No one really understands Watcher's design and I think no one is meant to. But if I had to guess, maybe you're meant to learn something. Or maybe, you're meant to _teach_ something."

Morgyn was quiet, for a long moment, considering that. It sounded much better than anything Morgyn had ever come up with, and maybe the priest was right. What it was that Morgyn was supposed to teach, _that_ Morgyn didn't know. But he was right about the notion that maybe no one was meant to understand, either, just trust that Watcher understood.

"Thank you," Morgyn said. "That makes more sense than what's been in my head the last few weeks."

"That's what I'm here for," the priest responded. "If you're interested, we have mass every Sunday and Wednesday at nine. You're welcome here."

"Am I?" Morgyn asked, looking at him. He was kind of cute, if you were into priests. Morgyn couldn't say the blond was.

"Of course," the priest answered. "Watcher loves all of us, and perhaps Watcher gave you a journey that I don't understand, but it doesn't mean anything. We can get along, even if we walk very different paths. I think that's the best way to honour Watcher. To just spread love and compassion, and this world so desperately needs more of it. We are not here to judge, I feel. We are here to grow, and create love."

Morgyn smiled. "Maybe I will come." Yeah, maybe Morgyn would.

* * *

He was trying not to think about it. Jackson was gone now, hadn't come back since Drake had growled at him, and Ezio had waffled on his conclusions multiple times. Jackson made a mistake, Jackson didn't make a mistake, Jackson loved him, Jackson didn't love him, Ezio should let him go, Ezio should go talk things out. It went on and on and somehow, nothing that came to mind felt right. Ezio was confused, probably. But Ezio wasn't good at dealing with things like this, because he didn't know if anything was his own fault, or if, perhaps, Drake was right, and he just happened to be there.

As it was, Morgyn wasn't here today, and Drake let him end up in his pile of books on the floor. He'd brought up some more of his books from storage, because he thought he _may_ have some books that would help. He was, of course, sitting down with the leather-bound mystery book, trying, once again, to unravel its secrets. They were not terribly forthcoming. It wasn't like Ezio expected them to be.

The things Keisha had said in that dream the other night, he wondered what it meant. Some of it was difficult to make sense of for him, but he still didn't fully understand what a destroyer was. Nor did he have the faintest idea how to make Morgyn do _anything_. Actually, if Ezio got too insistent about it, Morgyn might become more stubborn. Morgyn was a shining example of how force merely inspired more force. Ezio may not like it, but trying to control Morgyn too directly would never in a thousand years work. Then again, Ezio had a hard enough time living already. He didn't exactly want to end up living for Morgyn, too. The blond needed to maintain autonomy, or one or both of them was going to go insane, and Ezio figured they didn't have very far to go.

Morgyn was, and had always been a free spirit. It was thanks to him, probably. Their parents, Ezio barely remembered them, but he did remember that they had expectations, and at the time, Morgyn was much better at following them. Ezio could always tell, though, that Morgyn was utterly _miserable_ that way, and had made a notable effort to give Morgyn whatever freedom he could. It was nice, watching Morgyn blossom and grow outside the little confines everyone always tried to keep Morgyn in. Morgyn was a square peg, and those confines were a rounded hole.

Ezio didn't mind the sudden changes. Morgyn started thinking independently more frequently, and proved to have a rather brilliant mind, when the blond had the space to apply it. And the best part of that realisation was watching Morgyn have the same one, start testing boundaries and seeing just how intelligent the blond was. It really was like watching a flower bloom, or a tree grow.

He didn't understand Morgyn's destiny. But to be fair about it, he hardly understood his own, either.

Ezio released a sigh, shoving the book out of his lap and onto the floor, falling backward onto the wood. Grey eyes stared up at the ceiling. Maybe he was looking for answers in the wrong places. Maybe he wasn't meant to understand it at all. Then again, he had a hard time believing that this book _didn't_ have something it wanted to tell him. Simply, it seemed to have its own rules to this game they were inadvertently playing.

That was the hardest thing, with these enchanted books. They played games with rules they most likely made up on the spot.

"I don't get it," he said, speaking mostly to the air. "What is it you want to tell me, anyway?" He seemed to be having no luck in figuring out what this silly book wanted with him. And yet, neither would it leave him alone.

Something flashed across from him, and Ezio sat up, catching sight of the mystery book's cover shimmering with weird designs it didn't have on it before. Then, the book opened on its own, the pages flying by, to land on a specific one. Ezio made a face, but he sat up the rest of the way, taking the book into his lap. The pages it'd stopped on were in Simlish.

 _The Council of Elders_ , the page began, _on which one from each of the five great magic families sat, acted as the ruling body for witches in ancient times, when the people began to come together in larger and larger groups, and tribal settings were no longer the human way of life. From the Council of Elders was born magic realm, and the realm's Sages, tasked with protecting magic realm, witches, and protecting the All, from which magic realm draws its strength. The five great magic families each originated in one of the world's major civilisations. Lee, of the Chinese Zhou Dynasty; Eisenstern, of the Nordic Vikings; Crowley, of the Goidelic Celts; Goth, of the northern European Germanic tribes; and Bachelor, rooted in Egypt._

_As magic began to grow in infamy, and witches rose in number, the number of those that used magic for ill also grew, and in time, the people began to fear that which they did not know. Witches, once beloved, were becoming hated and ostracised, and, eventually, were rejected violently. The Council of Elders, in desperation to find somewhere safe for witches to practise and preserve magic, combined their magic together to create the All, which became the centrepoint of magic realm, the core that holds it together._

_Descendants of these five bloodlines have a stronger connection to the All than others, and when a destroyer awakens that is also a spellcaster, often, they enjoy a similar stronger connection to the All, knowledge of things that they should not know, and a gift at inspiring and uniting people._

_Fear that destroyer who is born of the families, and commands magic with great skill, for the chaos will call their blood, and the pull is difficult to resist. Fear that destroyer born of the families who resists the pull of chaos even more._

* * *

The bruising was worse. Ezio wasn't surprised by that, or by the fact it hurt more than it had the day before. He did his best to minimise its appearance, thanks to help from Morgyn's sixty thousand bottles of foundation and concealer, and then spent another three hours messing with his hair and deciding on what to wear. It wasn't like it mattered, and if he took too long, then he'd miss Jackson before he left for Sulani.

Ezio quickly fixed his hair, and then scurried out the door, and down the stairs. Drake was busy doing something else, so as long as nothing went terribly wrong, he shouldn't even notice Ezio was gone. He made his way out the door, down the pathway that led to the portal that would send him to Caster's Alley. Jackson's favourite place to hang out was Caster's Alley. He had a lot of friends that spent time there, and until he could leave, Ezio thought it was most likely that he'd go there.

As he stepped out into the Alley, he was a bit relieved to see that Caleb was working the stands, again. He wouldn't admit, even in his own head, that he was worried how this would go, but he was. He paused, a moment, looking around. He deliberately ignored Caleb trying to catch his attention, and focused on finding Jackson. Soon enough, he caught sight of a shimmer of gold. He fiddled with his hair one more time, took a deep breath in, and walked over.

Before Ezio had a chance to say anything, Jackson looked up at him, and loosed a groan. "Somehow, I knew this was going to happen."

"I just want to talk," Ezio said.

"I know," Jackson answered, "and that's the problem. Ezio, there's nothing to talk about."

"There's a _lot_ to talk about," Ezio argued. "Look, I don't want to just give up on you. On _us_."

Jackson stared at him for a moment, and then released a sigh, closing his eyes. His head tilted downward, and his weight shifted from one leg to the other. How was he supposed to get Ezio to understand? No, that was a stupid question, wasn't it? Maybe the only way was the one thing Jackson had never been able to bring himself to use their entire relationship.

Honesty.

Jackson looked back up at Ezio. "You need to go," he said.

Ezio blinked, and then shook his head. "I'm not going. I came to fix this, and I intend to."

"No. Ezio, no. Look, as much as I wish, more than anything, that I had you back, that I could do this over again and do it _right_ this time, I know that is a pointless wish. I love you, Ezio. And in loving you, I realise that I need to let you go."

Ezio's eyebrows furrowed. "Jackson, that doesn't make any sense," he said. "It was just a couple times, some misunderstandings, you just lost your temper -"

" _Damn_ it Ezio, _no_ ," Jackson interrupted. "No, I… I get it now, what I've been running from this whole time. That feeling that I'm going to lose you, before I'm ready to, no matter what I do, to something I can't control, can barely understand. I can't… Ezio you're _dying_. I can't ask you not to be dying anymore, you can't stop it anymore than I can, that's not how it works. And every time this happens, you have an episode and we start talking about it, I get frustrated, and angry, and it has nowhere to go but at you. Maybe somewhere in there, I started acting out because I just wanted to control _something_ in all this, and that's not fair, to you or me. I can't keep doing this, Ezio, please understand, I can't keep hurting you, and I _will_ , if I stay."

Ezio's eyes narrowed, and despite how hard he tried to fight them, the tears welled up and blurred his vision anyway. This wasn't how this was supposed to go. He didn't know what he'd been expecting, but this wasn't it. Maybe he'd thought they'd just have a talk, and everything would blow over. Ezio would have to fuss with Drake and Morgyn a little, but everything would work out in the end.

"I - I don't -" Ezio blinked a few times, looking down. "It doesn't matter, Jackson, I just -"

Jackson reached over, gently pressing a finger against Ezio's lips. "Ezio, _please_ ," he said. "I wish I didn't know you were going to say that. You don't have forever. You can't keep settling for what's good enough, okay? You can't keep accepting what's merely not as bad as it _might_ have been. Out there, somewhere, is someone that'll love you the way I know now that I can't, until you don't know what to do with it all, and then love you even more. Someone that can set aside the frustration and the pain and the fear, and keep holding your hand even as things get harder. I am not that someone, Ezio. And you'll never see that someone if I'm blocking your view."

"Jackson, please don't -"

"Hey," Jackson whispered. "Someday, you'll hardly even remember me. I'll be just a bunch of blurry memories, faint words, and vague feelings that don't make any sense anymore, and honestly, I want that for you. I want you to forget me. You'll be happier for it, I think. I've not been very good at this boyfriend thing." No, he hadn't.

Ezio didn't answer, right away, turning away and pressing the heel of one hand to his head. Jackson sighed, softly, reaching over and wrapping his arms around him. It seemed strange to be comforting the guy he was breaking up with, but Ezio was awfully emotional. Jackson didn't say anything, right away, simply held him. He was going to miss Ezio, but then, he'd been gone so much, it wasn't like that was new. He'd get used to it. Ezio would, too.

He leaned back slightly, pressing his lips to Ezio's hair.

"Why can't I ever do this right?" Ezio asked, in between crying.

"No," Jackson said, "no, don't think that, Ezio. It isn't you, really it isn't. This? This was all me. I'm the one that can't control my own anger. I'm the one that can't figure out how to put you before my own selfishness. It's not you."

Ezio was quiet for a long moment, Jackson just holding him. And for that long moment, Ezio wondered if this was what Jackson should've been with him, and wasn't.

"Hey," Jackson said, looking at his wrist watch. "I have to go, okay?"

"Okay," Ezio answered, letting him go.

"I'll probably never see you again," Jackson said, smiling sadly. "So, for what it's worth, I hope you get a lot more out of life than you expect you will, and that what is left treats you kind." Jackson shifted slightly, catching Ezio's lips for just a brief second. Ezio kissed him back, for that split second. "And maybe pay a little more attention to how Drake looks at you."

Then Jackson turned, heading for the portal, and then he was gone. Ezio breathed for a moment, trying to get control over the tears. He looked up, finding Caleb watching him. The vampire gestured to ask if he should come out, and Ezio shook his head. He'd be going back to headquarters in a moment, anyway. It was only a few more moments, before he raised his hands, wiped away the tears, and followed Jackson back to the other island. He sniffled as he trudged his way back to headquarters. No one was there to see it, so it didn't matter.

At least, he didn't think there was, until he saw the black shoes. He paused in his movement, grey eyes raising to meet faintly glowing, icy blue. Drake didn't ask anything. Ezio didn't offer anything. Instead, Drake looked at him with concern, and Ezio moved over and clung to him. In the end, Jackson would go his own way, if that was what he wanted, and Ezio couldn't fairly stop him. All he could do was try and pick up the pieces, and move forward.

* * *

Ezio was in his room, now. Undoubtedly, he'd probably spend some time alone for a while. That was how he dealt with hurt; he pulled inward, and shoved the world out for a while. Drake wasn't unlike him, and understood it, even if he wished, in a sense, that Ezio wouldn't do that. It was hard to help when Ezio shoved him out, but Drake also recognised that it was a necessary part of Ezio's healing process. Ezio was every bit as much a solitary creature as Morgyn was not.

Speaking of Morgyn, the blond was missing sometime after noon today, and it took Drake some time to remember Morgyn had mentioned going to the normal world. Drake looked up from his book at the clock on the wall. It was relatively late, and Drake was starting to get concerned about it. Perhaps it was for the best, though. Morgyn's absence meant that Ezio had some time to recover before Morgyn was asking a thousand questions. Drake wondered what Ezio would tell the blond, but probably just enough to answer the questions without giving anything away.

Drake looked back down at the book. Something felt wrong, though, but he wasn't sure what he was picking up on. Once in a grand while, he'd find that someone practicing magic in the realm would go slightly awry, enough for him to sense that something was off. He wondered if that was what was happening. L was covering Morgyn's students today, until the blond came back from the other world, and Drake could see a few things being set on fire that L couldn't handle.

He'd wait until he heard screaming to go looking around for the source of the disturbance he was sensing. That in mind, he looked back down at the book, relocated his place in it, and went back to reading.

The candles in the centre courtyard flickered strangely. The soft, constant gentle breeze outside strangely stopped here and there. The sounds drowned out and dimmed. Drake stopped reading, eyes glancing up toward the doorway. Something was _definitely_ wrong.

And then he heard it, the loudest, most piercing scream of agony he'd heard in a long time. Drake's head snapped up. It sounded like Morgyn.

Drake set a bookmark into his book, closed it and then immediately stood up and burst into blackened mist. As he reformed nearer to the sound, he found Morgyn fallen over in front of the portal that led to Glimmerbrook, screaming incessantly in pain. Drake, immediately, wasn't sure what was wrong. Obviously Morgyn was in pain somehow, but he didn't scent anything wrong. There was the notable electric tang of magic, and there was stray frost on one of Morgyn's sleeves, but that shouldn't be enough to cause this sort of a reaction.

"Morgyn," he said, kneeling down. He dared not touch the sage. "What happened?"

Morgyn's expression attempted to level out, and Morgyn started trying to make noises that were not screams. Unfortunately, these sounds didn't make it to being fully formed words, let alone sentences, and Drake was still at a complete loss as Morgyn lost it again and went back to screaming. The blond curled up in a ball on the ground, streaks of purple and blue energy shooting _everywhere_ in completely random patterns around the sage.

"What the fuck?" came a feminine voice behind him.

Drake turned to look at L. "I don't know," he said. "Morgyn doesn't seem to be able to tell me. Do you have any ideas?"

L knelt down beside him, holding one hand out towards Morgyn. Her hand alighted with a soft blue glow. As she did so, the purple and blue streaks, which smelled strongly of magic, reached for L's hand. L snapped her hand back, and then held it out again, this time further away. Her eyebrows furrowed, and she looked confused. "Morgyn's dying from magic overload," she said. "But that doesn't make any sense."

"I don't know, that makes sense to me," Drake said.

"No, Morgyn's not in charge state," L explained. "By all logical right, if Morgyn's not in charge state, then the idiot shouldn't be _dying_ from _overload_."

Drake arched an eyebrow. "Okay, you're right, that doesn't make sense." It didn't help them figure out how to _fix_ it, however.

"What's even more confusing is, this feels like it's been ongoing for a while," L went on. "How is Morgyn still dying and not already dead? It doesn't take long to die from overload, maybe a minute if you're unlucky."

That was a good question, too. Drake frowned slightly, thinking about it. He reached for Morgyn, too, cautiously, but the streaks of purple and blue weren't as drawn to him as they'd been to L. That _did_ act like magic overload. It was drawn to magic, and humans. It was more strongly attracted to him than the Vatores, as the magic in his blood was active, but it was still notably less interested in him than non-vampiric spellcasters.

Kassander and Sandalio would know what to do, here, but they didn't have the time to find them. Instead, Drake shook his head, and turned to look at L.

"Go get Ezio," he said. "Ezio might be able to figure out what to do. If nothing else, Ezio's Morgyn's twin, might be able to make more sense of Morgyn's stunted communication than we can. _And_ make any serious decisions on Morgyn's behalf." If they had to do something _drastic_ to fix this, Drake wanted Ezio to know what they were doing.

L pulled a face at him, but she nodded. "Okay," she said. "I guess that's the most logical thing to do, sure. Just… stay here I guess, I'll be back."

L stood up, turning on one heel and scurrying as quickly as she could without tripping back into headquarters, and presumably up the stairs to Ezio's room. Morgyn's screaming was so loud, Drake expected Ezio to meet her out in the courtyard, perhaps. And then they could figure out what to do with this mess.

* * *

What was that sound? Ezio jerked awake from his nap, stretched out slightly, and then sat up. Someone was screaming, and his sleep-hazed mind wasn't quite registering it entirely. Sometimes people exploded a potion or blew themselves into a wall doing magic the wrong way. Screaming wasn't anything to be too alarmed about, around here, but the screaming sound didn't stop. Actually, it was quite persistent, and that was a bit over-dramatic for a simple potion explosion.

Ezio ran a hand through his hair, shaking his head. Then, listening to it, he realised why it made his heart drop.

The screaming was Morgyn.

Immediately, Ezio got up, scrambling out of bed. In his hurry to make it into the hallway and down the stairs, he slammed into the door, fumbled with the doorknob for a moment, and then left the door open as he shot to the staircase. Halfway down, he met L.

"What happened?" he asked.

"I don't know," L replied. "Drake doesn't understand it either, and Morgyn's in too much pain to answer. Ezio, I think you'd better come see this."

She didn't say it, but Ezio could sense the insinuation he'd need to figure out what to do. Ezio didn't like that, but neither was there anything for it. Instead of arguing, he simply nodded, and headed out the door. L turned and followed him as he passed her.

"Morgyn just showed up and started screaming then?" Ezio asked.

"As far as we can tell," L said.

Ezio nodded once, pulling the door open. Morgyn was lying outside the portal, Drake not far away, screaming off and on. Ezio's heart hurt just seeing Morgyn in that much pain, but he stayed quiet, his eyebrows drawing together, and stepped closer. He started to reach for the blond, but Drake grabbed his hand.

"Don't," he said. "The energy will be drawn to you."

Ezio glanced at him, and then back to Morgyn.

"M-m-mag… Magic…" Morgyn whispered.

Magic? Ezio looked confused for a moment, and then held a hand out. A snowflake formed above his palm, and at the spark of magic in his hand, the energy streaks shifted and moved for his hand. Ezio sucked in a startled breath, his other hand raising and trapping the streak in a spherical barrier. The other streaks of energy were drawn to it, as well. Ezio tilted his head at it. If it was so interested in magical energy, then it was presumably doing what magical overload would do?

Morgyn's screaming stopped; that had clearly made the pain dim, but it was still doing something. Ezio frowned.

"It still hurts?" he asked.

Morgyn nodded.

"If it's attracted to magic, I presume it's burning through it," Ezio said, holding his hand out. It began to glow blue. "Morgyn, what happened?"

"Ff… vampire…" Morgyn said. "Potion."

Ezio looked confused again, but that _was_ an answer, he supposed. Vampire and potion; Ezio supposed that meant Morgyn had come across a vampire that had a potion. Had that potion done this? That would make logical sense, but on the other hand, vampires didn't _create_ potions. Either this was a hybrid, like Drake was, and there were a number of those in the world, as Ezio understood, or there was a spellcaster doing something they shouldn't be.

The semantics of why this vampire had a potion didn't terribly matter. The important part was that this was a prolonged type of magic overload, and it was, presumably, burning through all of Morgyn's magic. As a sage, Morgyn had a good deal of magical energy. If Ezio was guessing rightly, it could take hours, if not _days_ , for it to finally burn through it all, and then what? Ezio wasn't sure. A spellcaster was intrinsically tied to their magic, of course. If the magic energy in them depleted entirely, it was safe to assume they could very well die.

But the only way he could think of to stop it was death.

Ezio loosed a frustrated shriek. "You stupid _shitnugget_ , why'd you have to _do_ this to me?" And _today_ of all times? It wasn't Morgyn's fault. He knew that. Of course, he may be very interested in finding a certain potion-toting vampire about now, but he had to deal with this first. If the only way to make this stop was Morgyn dying, and Morgyn was dying _anyway_ … Of course, there were ways of undoing it with magic, but Ezio wasn't sure if he could _do_ them.

It wasn't like he had a choice, though, and he had to believe the spirits wouldn't be so upset about this destroyer situation if Morgyn was merely meant to die from a stupid _potion_ two days later.

"Mm… Mm'sorry…" Morgyn said.

Ezio reached over, pulling Morgyn into his lap. "I didn't mean that," he said quietly. "I don't know how else to fix this, Morgs, but one way, and I can't promise that if I do that, it'll be okay."

Morgyn didn't answer, right away, shaking incessantly in pain, and then the blond reached up and took one of Ezio's hands. "… you… I trust you…"

Ezio really wished he trusted himself. But if nothing else, he could trust the Morgyn that trusted him. Instead of answering, he simply squeezed Morgyn's hand, leaning down to tap his forehead against the blond's. "I'll try and make it okay as quickly as I can, I promise," he whispered.

Then, Ezio freed his other hand, brushed his fingers against Morgyn's cheek, and then fired an energy bolt into Morgyn's heart.

L loosed a strangled squeaking sound. Morgyn loosed one last, shuddering breath, blood slipping out of the blond's mouth, and then stopped breathing. Ezio squeezed his eyes closed, leaning over Morgyn, and rocking for a moment. That hurt. That hurt enough, he almost started crying all over again, but now wasn't the time for that.

When a person died, their soul was temporarily anchored to their body by the same thing that astral forms were, this being the astral chain. If that chain was severed, then that was true death; they could no longer be restored to their physical form. The resurrection potion and spell merely repaired damage to the body, but it was limited to repairing unnatural, sudden things. Such issues as Ezio's, where the individual had some kind of a disease, genetic defects, and old age, were all irreparable. Something like this, however, magic should be able to fix just fine.

It didn't make Ezio enjoy firing an energy bolt into his twin any more.

He drew a breath in, standing up, and taking Morgyn's body with him. He'd need that, so he intended to preserve it while he worked on making this potion. As he stood up, he caught Morgyn's eyes. The blond was an odd colour.

"Hi," Morgyn said, voice echoing slightly as only the voices of ghosts did.

"Hi," Ezio replied. "I need a death flower."

"You're going to try making the resurrection potion?" L asked.

"Yes," Ezio answered. "The only way it was going to stop was if Morgyn died and Morgyn was steadily dying anyway. I decided to embrace it, rather than try fighting it with limited time on my hands."

"You have limited time for that _potion_ ," L said, "and you've only ever made it successfully _once_. You may not be able to do it again."

"I guess I'd better figure it out then, huh?" Ezio said. He turned, then, heading back for the door, Morgyn's ghost trailing behind.


	14. Like There Was Something I Missed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So much screenshot editing. Honestly, I hate it. Also one of these screencaps kind of spoils something later if you've been watching my supplemental screenshots, so that's fun.  
> Tbh I love how this thing is like the characters think one thing and the story tells otherwise if you pay attention. Lmao There are a lot of things that the characters think that are really really wrong, ngl. But you know. They're discovering the truth right alongside you. c: Also I think this is the first chapter I've done for a while that I didn't have any typos in. Go me.  
> My Dsmbr. Mickey P., Linkin Park, Kelli Ali. God.

It was difficult to find death flowers. They were very rarely available in the potion ingredients shop, and Ezio didn't know anywhere that they grew. To find one, he'd have to rely on his death magic, and for the most part, Ezio never bothered with it. He barely knew how to _use_ it, because Ezio simply wasn't that kind of person. All the same, he supposed he was given his death magic for a reason. Ezio was a necromancer, whether he liked it or not, and maybe it was about time he started figuring out how to come to terms with that reality.

Truthfully, Ezio didn't know how.

As it was, he was grinding up the herbs that he _did_ know how to find. Drake was helping. Unfortunately, Ezio was still recovering from his last episode, and he wasn't in much shape to be standing and doing manual labour, no matter how light, for any period of time. It meant he had to take breaks rather frequently, or risk collapsing. He couldn't afford a collapse right now. Morgyn was running on borrowed time, and perhaps Drake could finish this potion, but Ezio had _promised_ that he'd fix this.

For a moment, he got distracted watching Drake. Pay attention to how Drake looks at you, huh? Actually, Ezio much preferred not paying attention to it. He didn't know if he was afraid of finding that Drake didn't like him as much as he seemed like he did, or if he was afraid of learning that he _did_ like him as much as he seemed to. Drake didn't notice Ezio watching him, so he let his gaze linger a little longer.

And then, for just a split second, Drake was someone else. A woman, darker skinned, round, dark brown eyes that seemed to see _into_ you, long black hair cascading over her shoulders like a dark waterfall. She turned and looked at him, a soft smile crossing her face, something mischievous sparkling in those dark eyes, the brim of her hat obscuring one eye. For that split second, as his eyes met hers, he forgot how to breathe, and then she was gone, and Drake was stirring the cauldron.

He blinked a few times, looked back down at the herbs he was grinding up. He quickly went back to grinding, and though he could see, through his eyelashes, Drake looking at him in curiosity, Ezio didn't look up. Morgyn wasn't getting resurrected by Ezio's daydreaming. After a moment, Ezio moved over, and dropped the ground herbs into the cauldron.

Just like it had every time thus far, the cauldron flashed, and exploded. Drake grabbed Ezio and pulled him down, shielding him from the explosion with himself. As the explosion's after-effects faded, Ezio groaned and dropped his head onto Drake's shoulder. Now he had to go find more flowers.

"Maybe you should take a break," Drake suggested softly.

Ezio shook his head. "I can't," he said.

"Come on, Ezio," Drake said. "This is the eighth one you've blown up. You might be blowing them up because you can't focus."

"Don't worry," Morgyn's ghost said, off to the side lying on the balcony, right next to the blond's body, currently preserved in ice crystals. "I'll still be dead when you get back from break, anyway"

Ezio gave Morgyn a look. No one could see or hear Morgyn except him, and it was almost enough to drive him a little bonkers. Eventually, Morgyn would be alive again, he knew that. He just had to have a little faith, in himself, in the magic. That was hard to do, right now, when he wanted nothing more than to march upstairs, hide under the bed, and pretend the rest of the world didn't exist. He knew it was stupid.

The raven-haired man breathed out, leaving his head against Drake's shoulder where it'd landed. "I guess," he said.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Drake asked. "Obviously you're a bit upset."

Ezio snorted. "No," he said. "I don't want to talk, I want to get this potion made. Preferably before I lose the ability to put Morgyn's soul back and restore the body."

Drake was quiet for a moment. "Is Morgyn here?" he asked.

Ezio didn't answer with words, instead glancing at Morgyn, down there at the base of the ice crystals. "In a manner of speaking," Ezio said.

"Is that normal?" Drake asked.

"Considering how Morgyn died, I'm going with, yes," Ezio said. "And if I fail to restore Morgyn, I'll have made a hefna."

"A hefna?" Drake asked.

"Spirits that died in violent ways, that return to earth to set things right, or simply to seek revenge," Ezio explained. "Most likely, if I can't fix this and Morgyn's astral chain severs, I'll die too."

Drake frowned. "Why you?"

"I killed Morgyn," he said.

"The vampire with the _potion_ killed Morgyn," Drake argued.

"I know that," Ezio said. "Morgyn even knows that. But hefnir don't necessarily follow reason to speak of. It's alright, anyway. I don't want to live in a world Morgyn's not in."

" _Now_ you see how _I_ feel," Morgyn grumbled from below the crystals.

Ezio sighed, letting Drake go and standing up. He fully intended to ignore that. "I guess I'll lay down for a little bit. Morgyn's chain isn't severed yet, so I guess I still have time. It just feels like a waste."

"Being able to think straight is a good idea, Ezio," Drake said, standing as well. "And I know this is important to you, I just don't want you to end up killing yourself while trying to fix this. I don't think I can make this potion."

Ezio snorted softly. Drake always said he couldn't do whatever magic thing, but he was a decent spellcaster. The problem was that he hung around the Sage of Untamed Magic and that Sage's necromancer brother. "I think you'd be better at making this potion than you think," Ezio said. "But I'll try not to kill myself doing this. For you." There were a lot of things Ezio could do for Drake that he couldn't even manage for _himself_. That was, sadly, one of them.

"God, get a room, you two," Morgyn grumbled.

Ezio shot the blond a glare, and then turned back to Drake. "I have to go find more death flowers, anyway," he said. "That could take _days_." As it was, Morgyn had already been dead for two days. That was a little bit too long for Ezio to be happy with, but no one was asking him to be happy, anyway.

"Okay," Drake said quietly. "… Is there something else bothering you?"

Ezio looked away. "Doesn't matter," he said. "I'll be back later."

Drake looked concerned, but didn't stop Ezio as he went around the vampire, and to his room. Morgyn was just as curious about it. Ezio was usually not this stiff. Granted, sure, Morgyn was dead, but he looked like something else was on his mind.

Morgyn scooted around Drake, too, and followed Ezio.

* * *

There was another death flower this way, somewhere. Ezio still wasn't good enough at relying on his death magic to be able to find them so easily as perhaps some could, but between his death magic and Morgyn _being_ dead, they eventually found death flowers. He liked to think it took less time than it should, but he wasn't sure how long this took for people that were neither dead nor a necromancer. He supposed he would _never_ know.

As it was, the flower led into Granite Falls. On the other side of Granite Falls, and Glimmerbrook, was Forgotten Hollow, where Lilith and Caleb lived, the only known place that got anywhere close to being "home" for vampires. Ezio had never been there, before, but Morgyn had followed Caleb over there once or twice. Ezio couldn't remember now, and he supposed it didn't matter. Ezio was trying not to end up moving towards Forgotten Hollow. The last thing he needed was to end up wasting more time because he got into a fight with a vampire.

Not that he'd be too upset about getting the chance to beat the shit out of the punk that'd killed Morgyn, but that was perhaps beside the point.

"You know, you're being awfully quiet," Morgyn said, pausing long enough to squint and re-sense the flower they were after. Death flowers gave off a particular, pungent and notable scent, but only if you were dead, or could sense death energy. It was weaker for Ezio than Morgyn, so Ezio mostly trusted Morgyn's sense of direction. "And I know you're _busy_ trying to resurrect me, which, interesting solution by the way, but you seem quieter than you should be."

"Not sure what you mean," Ezio answered. "… Are you sure we're going the right way?"

"Oh, I've never been sure we're going the right way," Morgyn answered.

Ezio paused, lips flattening into a line. "That's great," Ezio said. "That's… just _great_." Okay, well, so the saying went, if you wanted something done _right_ , you had to do it yourself. For someone that was _dead_ , Morgyn sure was awfully okay with this. Then again, he supposed it wasn't that tragic for them. Morgyn was already steadily reaching 300 years old. It was a lot less tragic than dying at, say, twenty something.

"Come on, the worst that happens is I kill you," Morgyn said.

"I'd say I'm not terribly interested in dying, but that'd be a lie," Ezio answered. He held his hand out, glowing that sickly green colour that death magic often was.

"Yep," Morgyn said, leaning against a tree - at least, looking like the blond was leaning against the tree, because most likely, if Morgyn tried, the idiot would just fall through it, instead. "It's kind of alarming, sometimes, to be honest. How little you care about you."

"It's hard to care when you're dying anyway," Ezio said.

"You know though, funny," Morgyn said, "you're not dead yet."

Ezio paused a moment, to shoot the ghost a very annoyed look. "No, I am not." Ezio said. The green glow became brighter, and then dimmed, Ezio moving his arm slightly to the side. It flashed again. "That way." Ezio lowered his hand, the glow dying off, and started walking that way.

Morgyn stood up properly, and floated after him. "So you shouldn't keep acting like you're already dead," Morgyn said.

"Why not?" Ezio asked. "It keeps my head from getting too big with fantastical ideas that are quite frankly impossibly silly. And then I don't have to deal with the messy fallout of getting ideas and having dreams."

"Oooh," Morgyn said. "I see. Your problem is that you're afraid of being let down. You don't _try_ for anything because you're afraid of what'll happen when you fail."

"That is not why," Ezio argued.

"Isn't it?" Morgyn said. "That's called disappointment, and everyone experiences it at some point. You can't just sit down on the stairs and decide you're fucking done, that's not how this shit works."

"And _why not_?" Ezio snapped. "This is the last bit of _my_ fucking life, not yours, I can fuck it up and waste it if I want to!"

"Because you're being _an idiot_ and you deserve _better than this_ from yourself!"

"Maybe I don't _want_ better! _Maybe_ , I want something in my life to be a little peaceful and predictable because _god_ knows you're _not_!"

"Oh, don't you blame this on me!" Morgyn snarled. "Life isn't peaceful and predictable, Ezio, it's chaotic and insane and often doesn't make any fucking sense, and it's beautiful, and painful, and amazing."

"Stop it," Ezio said. "Morgyn just _stop_ it. I don't want to think about this. I don't want to end up wanting things."

"And why not?"

"Because it's better if I don't," Ezio said. "Because sometimes you don't fucking _get_ what you want." Ezio slowed to a stop, looking down at the sunlight dappled snow. "Because I don't want to die wanting to live."

Morgyn slowed down too, looking at him with curiosity and confusion. "Why?"

"I've seen what that does to you," Ezio said softly. "I've seen what kind of monster that makes. You know, it was either very kind, or very cruel, to give the dying guy the ability to see the dead, and understand what kind of bitterness you start to feel when you die and you want to live. I don't want to become that kind of monster someday. I never did figure out what's beyond death, but I don't think it's supposed to be _that_."

"Ezio everyone dies," Morgyn said. "I mean look, even I just died, okay? You should know better than most, death isn't always a bad thing."

"It doesn't mean I won't hate it when I do," Ezio answered.

Morgyn huffed. "And why do you think you'll hate it? Because you didn't _live_. Ezio, the terrible part of death _isn't_ death itself, it's when you die as you live. I don't want you to go where I can't follow you either, but I don't want you to throw what you do have away even more. It's not having a longer life that makes it less painful when it's over, Ezio, it's putting more life into what time you have. And… and L was right, maybe you'll live longer than either of us think. You can't live afraid to do anything, when you don't even really know how long you'll make it, Ezio this is stupid, and you're smarter than this."

He knew that, yes. There was even more of a chance he'd make it longer than he expected, now, but he hadn't told Drake and Morgyn that. He didn't want to get their hopes up. He didn't want to get his _own_ hopes up. Because, as much as he hated it, Morgyn was right, and he was afraid of being let down. Of wanting to live and being denied it.

But then, for the Embers, sometimes, all they had to do was want something, and they'd find a way to get it. Ezio didn't have the courage to believe in that. Maybe he never would.

"It doesn't matter," Ezio said.

Morgyn sighed. "Ezio -"

"No," Ezio interrupted. "It doesn't matter. And I get why you feel that way about it, but unfortunately for you, you don't get to decide that what I want with my own life is invalid or not good enough. It's not up to you to decide that the way I'm living doesn't work. I like things the way they are. And I don't need you to tell me that I shouldn't."

Morgyn released another sigh. The two stared at each other for a long moment, and then the blond pointed at something. "There's a death flower," Morgyn said.

Ezio glanced at it, and then turned back to Morgyn. "I know you're coming from a place of caring," Ezio said. "But I've made up my mind."

"Alright, fine," Morgyn said.

"I might grow these," Ezio mentioned, shuffling over to the death flower. "I hate coming back out here for these."

"Maybe that's not a bad idea," Morgyn said.

"Look," Ezio started, pulling the death flower out of the ground, and standing up, turning back to face Morgyn. "I'm not ignoring or invalidating your feelings on this either."

"Aren't you, though?" Morgyn asked. "Every time this comes up, you just tell me I'm wrong and then go right back to pretending I never said anything at all. It seems to me like you're not really thinking about it. And I guess you don't have to, I just wish you would because I think you'd be a lot happier if you changed some things, that's all."

Maybe he would. Ezio didn't say anything at first, shifting his weight, glancing down at the snow. And then he turned on his heel and walked away. "Some people learn to love their chains."

* * *

Ezio dumped the crushed herbs into the cauldron, and almost on instinct by now (they were on potion attempt number fifteen), Drake held out one arm, expecting to have to grab Ezio and drop to the floor. This time, however, the potion popped softly, and then turned a silvery lavender colour.

He did it.

Rather immediately, Ezio's eyes lit up, and he reached into the cauldron with a ladle, filling it with the silvery liquid, and then threw it at the ice crystals Morgyn was still suspended in. Morgyn's ghost vanished, the red crystal pendant around the blond's neck alighting in the crystal, and then the crystals shattered.

Drake and Ezio ended up hitting the deck anyway, as ice shards flew everywhere, several crashing through the windows.

"Nice," Ezio said, his hands dropping from his head as he looked up at the glass. "You broke a few windows."

"I'm fucking _cold_!" Morgyn exclaimed, shaking the ice out of the blond's sweater. "God, what'd you do, ice me or something?"

Ezio made a face, standing up and brushing his shirt off. "You're welcome," he said. "Next time, I'll just leave you iced, you're at least _quiet_."

"Oh come on, if I'm dead, I'm not quiet for _you_ …" Morgyn went quiet, thinking for a moment, and then crossed over to Ezio and hugged him. "Thank you. I know that was hard."

"Fifteen tries," Ezio said, his arms wrapping around the blond. "That took me so many attempts."

"I know it," Morgyn said, letting go and then hugging Drake. "And thank you, too."

"You're welcome," Drake answered, sounding amused.

"So, now that you're back among the living," Ezio said, "what happened?"

Morgyn frowned, letting Drake go, and shrugged one shoulder. "I actually don't know," the blond answered. "I was going to Glimmerbrook, because I left my Glimmerstone here like an idiot, and had to take the portal home, and this vampire showed up out of nowhere. It didn't seem to be _aggressive_ , just very confused, said some things that didn't make any sense, something about someone letting them go if they find… something. And then it got agitated the more I didn't know what they were talking about, and threw a potion at me. It caused overload, somehow, but it didn't kill me immediately, and, well you know the rest."

Ezio looked thoughtful, one finger raising to rest against his chin. "Caleb mentioned Lilith was doing something," he said. "And that Forgotten Hollow's stirred up. Maybe there's something going on over there that's somehow spilling to us."

"It could've just been a random incident, too," Morgyn said. "I may have just been in the wrong place at the wrong time, little stroke of bad luck."

"Somehow, I think it's bigger than a random stroke of bad luck," Ezio said.

"You don't think Lilith had something to do with it, do you?" Morgyn asked.

"No," Ezio answered, his head shaking. "I'm just saying that Forgotten Hollow's shaken up, and Vladislaus doesn't tend to share what he knows. This could be a huge mess, and may also be a minor, segregated problem that you happened to accidentally step in. I'm not sure which it'll be."

Morgyn sighed. "Our lives _needed_ more complications," the blond grumbled. "… you know, I never noticed how many things _hurt_ randomly."

"Yeah, you'll be in pain for no apparent reason for a few hours as you get used to being in your body again," Ezio said. "Little every day pains you don't normally feel."

"And you didn't think to warn me about that?" Morgyn asked, arching an eyebrow.

"I was kind of busy, you know, _bringing you back to life_ ," Ezio said.

"Fair I guess," Morgyn said, snorting.

"In any case, maybe be careful and extra alert if you need to go back to the other world for anything anytime soon," Ezio said. "Probably for a good long while. Vampires are uh, notably long-lived, after all."

Morgyn made a face. "No," the blond said. "I'm not leaving magic realm again anytime soon, I'll just send Caleb if I need something. Blegh. Not into being ectoplasmic."

Ezio snorted. "That's fair." Ezio would have to be careful, too. On the other hand, he _wanted_ the potion-toting vampire to come after him.

He had a score to settle, after all.

"Strange that it sent you into overload though," Ezio said. "Considering you weren't even in charge state to begin with. Then again, it seemed like an artificial overload, less caused by charge state and more designed to cause an overload of magical energy by burning through it. The semantics of it were rather fascinating, and I kind of wish I'd studied it a bit longer. The effect was perplexing and interesting, because the concept of an overload caused by something _attacking_ your magical stores is in and of itself something of a paradox worthy of interest, but I didn't have the time to try reverse-engineering a potion I'd never seen used before."

"Wow, you've thought about that," Morgyn said. "It's probably for the best you didn't try reverse-engineering it. That probably would've taken a long time, and you'd have been distracted by my _screaming_ the entire way."

"Yeah that'd be a little distracting," Ezio said. Never mind that, if he took too long to make the pain stop, it was entirely possible that the sensory overload would've driven Morgyn _insane_ , literally, and Ezio thought the blond was close enough to being insane as it was. He sighed a little, glancing down. He still hadn't quite gotten over having to kill Morgyn, even if he knew it was for the best and _probably_ the only choice he'd had. He'd even fixed it, as it happened, and Morgyn was alive now.

"Hey," Morgyn said, reaching over and patting Ezio's jaw. "You did the best you could with what you had, and I have to say, you didn't have a lot to work with."

Maybe he didn't, really. He still felt like he could've done that better somehow, even knowing that, logically, Morgyn was right, and he didn't have a lot of options. He still felt like he'd chosen the worst one, and that little squeak Morgyn had made as the blond died, feeling the life slip out, that was probably going to give Ezio _nightmares_.

There was a reason he hadn't been sleeping much since then.

"I guess so," Ezio said. "The important part is that you're alive now." Maybe the rest of it could be bothered with later.

"You need rest now," Morgyn said, reaching over, hands resting on Ezio's shoulders. "You've been fighting with this potion for several days now, and you've not been eating or sleeping right. So, now it's my turn to take care of you, okay?"

Ezio sighed. "If you insist."

"I do," Morgyn said. "You spend too much time taking care of anyone but yourself."

No, it was just Morgyn. Ezio smiled slightly. "I guess," he said. "I could use a nap anyway."

"You could," Morgyn said. "I'll get used to my body's random pains, and Drake and I will deal with everything else, okay?"

"Bottle the rest of this," Ezio said, pointing at the cauldron. "It'll be nice to have on-hand."

"That's true," Morgyn said. "Okay, shoo, go take your nap."

"Alright, going," Ezio grumbled, but he did wander back into the building and to his room without much more fussing.

* * *

In the days since then, Ezio had been sleeping almost constantly. Morgyn and Drake had made sure he'd been eating, but it seemed like he woke up long enough to eat, and then went right back to sleep. It wasn't surprising that he'd tired himself out working too hard on the resurrection potion. The good news was that if anyone had need of a resurrection potion anytime soon, they had about thirty of them. Most likely, Morgyn would sell a few, because the blond didn't think they'd need quite _that_ many. It wasn't every day one of them died, after all, they tended to have a habit of staying alive.

Once again, Morgyn opted for a lack of makeup. That was primarily because the blond was feeling too lazy to bother with it today, and no other reason. Still, Ezio seemed a little happier, every time Morgyn seemed to embrace the Morgyn that wasn't entirely female, and Morgyn felt a little better for it, too, even as the blond also felt more confused. Maybe it wasn't _meant_ to make sense right away. Maybe there was still something Morgyn was missing.

In the interim, Ezio was still recovering from the last health scare, and then had spent far too long trying to save Morgyn's dumb ass, not that the blond had worded it that way. Morgyn loosed a sigh, setting the coffee pot to making anti-Morgyn-murder liquid, watching the pot hiss and spit. Not long after Morgyn set to watching the pot, Ezio came into the kitchen.

"Good morning," Ezio said. His eyes briefly fell to the cross around Morgyn's neck, but he didn't say anything about it.

"Good morning," Morgyn replied. It sounded less enthusiastic than normal, and Morgyn turned to look at him.

Ezio fell heavily into a seat, fidgeting slightly, his arms resting against the edge of the table. Morgyn watched him for a moment, and the more the blond did so, the clearer it seemed that he was upset. Ezio hadn't taken having to kill Morgyn terribly well. If the roles were reversed, Morgyn didn't think the blond would've taken it any better, truth be told. Given how much they needed and depended on each other (too much so, many would likely say), even in _knowing_ that it was meant to be a temporary condition, it was still no easy task.

In fact, Morgyn didn't think the blond _could_ kill Ezio, even if it was to save him. The blond didn't know if that said more about Morgyn, or about Ezio, and whether it said anything good or not, either.

Instead of saying anything right away, Morgyn's head tilted, and then the blond went over and sat down next to Ezio. Morgyn's head dropped onto Ezio's shoulder, gently. Neither said anything, though Ezio eventually moved and set his head against Morgyn's and loosed a sigh.

"I love you," Morgyn said quietly.

Ezio didn't answer, and that struck Morgyn as kind of odd. And then the blond caught the sound of a quiet squeak, and Morgyn's head snapped up. Ezio was crying.

"Oh no," Morgyn said, reaching out and hugging him properly. "No, Ezio why are you crying, it's okay."

What _else_ would Ezio be crying about? Everything, really. Everything was painful, he didn't know what he was doing half the time. Sometimes he thought he was running from the memories of Jean, but other times he thought maybe he was running from the little boy that'd died in France to save his twin. From the part of him that so desperately _hated_ Morgyn for leaving him behind, even though that was precisely what he'd told the blond to do. From the large part of him that didn't know how to love someone, even if that someone was himself, because the only love he'd ever known was the painful and broken kind, and the only way he'd ever seen himself was through the fractures of a deranged mind.

"It's okay," Morgyn repeated, rocking slightly.

Ezio shook his head. "You were right," he said. "About Jackson. You're _always_ right." Jackson wasn't the first. He was unlikely to be the last, unless Ezio simply stopped trying and at this point, now that Jackson had brought it to his attention, he _was_ right in that, not everyone had the ability to deal with whatever it was that was wrong with Ezio, with the fact that he was dying even as he lived. Half the time, Ezio couldn't deal with it anymore, either, and the urge to teleport himself onto a really tall building and fall off was strong just to get it over and done with. And maybe asking someone else to deal with it, without using those words, maybe that was unfair.

"What happened?" Morgyn asked. For once, the blond didn't sound accusatory, or like Morgyn was glad to hear that the blond was right. Actually, Ezio thought Morgyn sounded a little sad.

If their roles were reversed, he would've rather been wrong, too.

"We got into a fight," he explained quietly. "Jackson hit me. Slammed into the door, split my lip." Ezio felt Morgyn twitch as the anger spiked. "Drake already threatened to kill him. I think he meant it."

"I'm quite sure he did," Morgyn said, tone a little stiff.

"I went looking for him anyway," Ezio said.

"What?" Morgyn asked. "Ezio, why?"

"Because I wanted him back," Ezio said. "Because I don't know who the fuck I even _am_ without someone else telling me. But he went anyway. He said he couldn't control his anger, and he wouldn't be able to stop hurting me if he didn't go. That there's someone else that's supposed to love me. He was frustrated because of my condition, Morgyn."

"Then that's his own fault," Morgyn said.

"No," Ezio said. "I don't think it is. I think that's the fairest thing I've ever heard, probably the least irritating excuse for leaving any of my lovers has ever given me. And I can't be angry with him, because sometimes _I_ can't deal with this, either. You don't _know_ how many times I've wanted to just get it over with. What is so wrong with me that no one ever stays?"

Morgyn tisked softly. "Ezio, it's not you," the blond said. "It's them. The problem is everyone that can't see what a beautiful person you are, on the inside, what a fascinating mind you have. You're smart, you're interesting, you're not bad at conversation, they'll never find anyone like you."

Yeah, they'd never find another hindrance as irritating as he was. Ezio didn't say that, just rested against Morgyn's shoulder. Oh, how he wished something in his life, some of this pain, would make some sense. It was a silly thing to wish for, he was beginning to think.

"It's fine," Ezio said. "I'm done with dating."

"Ezio, come on," Morgyn said. "It's not a reason to give up."

"I can't," Ezio said. "I can't keep going through the heartache and hurting over some stupid boy or whatever it is this time."

Morgyn went quiet, watching him for a moment. He could change his mind later, Morgyn knew that, but the blond didn't want him to give up. Morgyn thought, only through someone loving him right would he understand what love actually was. It was times like these, that Morgyn remembered and truly realised that Ezio was so very broken, even now.

"Sorry," Ezio said, standing. "I'm just going to go read today."

Morgyn almost thought to stop him, but wasn't sure what to say, and he turned around and went up the stairs. Yeah, Morgyn had been right about Jackson.

Morgyn _hated_ it when the blond was right about that kind of thing, and this was why.

* * *

It wasn't like Drake and Morgyn _didn't_ get along. They talked from time to time, even, without Ezio present. Despite how much Morgyn had _hated_ Drake when they'd first met, things had evened out, and now the vampire might even say that the blond liked him to some extent. At least, insofar as someone could be _liked_ by the Sage of Untamed Magic.

Morgyn was friendlier than most thought the blond might be. It was like Morgyn thrived on social contact with others, and that assumption probably wasn't far from the truth. But Morgyn very rarely _liked_ someone all the same. It was different from merely getting along. Morgyn was the sort of person that everyone knew, but hardly anyone _knew_ , the sort of person that could spend forever talking someone's ear off and yet somehow never manage to say anything at all. It was a talent Drake _almost_ envied, but most of the time, only concerned him.

Still, when the blond sat down next to him in the green room, Drake couldn't help the confused, and slightly startled, glance. If Morgyn noticed it, the blond ignored it, and it was likely for the best.

Drake watched the blond for a moment, and then asked, "Are you okay?"

Morgyn was quiet at first, and then nodded. "Yeah." The blond's head tilted to one side. Morgyn still hadn't looked at Drake directly. Like the blond was afraid to meet his eyes. "Ezio broke apart on me."

"Did he?" Drake asked.

"Did Jackson really hit him?"

Drake didn't answer, but the way his muscles tensed and his body weight shifted told Morgyn everything the blond needed to know.

"Do you have any idea why?" Morgyn asked.

"From what I could tell," Drake said, "he seemed to be annoyed that Ezio told him I can't fix him dying so easily anymore."

Morgyn glanced down at the floor. That at least made sense in context with what Ezio had said about it. Ezio hadn't lied, at least, but it wasn't like Morgyn expected he had. The blond didn't know what answers Morgyn was _really_ looking for. Maybe some sense as to why and how someone could _love_ someone else, and still hurt them. Maybe some answers as to why it always seemed to be Ezio that attracted these kinds of toxic problems.

Perhaps, what Morgyn was actually looking for was how to spare Ezio having to deal with them, without turning into a controlling bitch again. In all this time, that was the only solution Morgyn had ever managed to find.

"I hate this," Morgyn said.

"Yeah," Drake said. "That makes two of us."

The two sat in silence, for a long moment, Morgyn watching the flames of the fireplace, and Drake reading something. Eventually, Morgyn took a breath in. "You're never going to tell me what happened at France, are you?" Morgyn asked.

Drake snorted. "That's not my story to tell," he answered. "Ezio needs to be the one to decide to tell you, or you're never getting told, no." Drake had no intention of betraying his trust that way, and Drake knew that there was a reason Ezio hadn't told Morgyn that particular story. In the time since Drake had met and gotten to know Morgyn, he stopped wondering why that was exactly. There was a very high possibility that knowing that particular story would destroy Morgyn. Drake knew that, at least, now he did. Ezio had known that all along, of course. There were reasons Drake trusted Ezio's judgement better than his own, when it came to Morgyn. As much as he thought Morgyn might be better off knowing the reality that Ezio dealt with, the particular pitch of the screaming of the demons in Ezio's head, Drake understood and respected that there were reasons he hadn't explained. He trusted Ezio to know Morgyn better than Drake did.

"It was worth a try," Morgyn said with a sigh. The sage was quiet for another moment, and then slid down in the chair. "I need a fifth of vodka. It's been a long week."

"Understandable," Drake said. "Though I don't think we _have_ vodka here."

"We absolutely have vodka here, if you know where to look," Morgyn said. "The only problem is finding someone I trust to drink around. Eh, I trust you, I'll hang out with you."

Drake looked at Morgyn through his eyelashes. "You're not allowed to pick anyone up."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Morgyn asked, arching an eyebrow.

"You know what I mean," Drake said. "I'm a vampire. I can smell it."

He could? Oh, dear. Well, that explained some of the strange looks he'd given the blond over the years. Old habits died hard, or something. Morgyn flushed a bit pink at the realisation.

"Have you told Ezio about that, by the way?" Drake asked.

"No," Morgyn answered, arms crossing. "And I didn't intend to."

"He will find out eventually," Drake said. "And it's going to break his heart either way. It'd be better if he learnt from you, than he learnt it when someone tried or managed to kill you, or you got sick from it, or pregnant for that matter. Not that having a baby is a bad thing, but you aren't really in a position to be having one of those." Rather the opposite, having a baby would put too much strain on the blond, given Morgyn was a Sage now, and free time for a Sage was definitely at a premium.

"I know that," Morgyn said. "I know all of that, it's just hard to let go of. I'm not even in it for the money anymore, and I left the brothel a long time ago."

Drake arched an eyebrow. "You wonder why Ezio hated Aine," he said pointedly.

"Aine didn't start that," Morgyn argued, sounding defensive.

"No, my dear," Drake answered, "but she didn't care enough about you and your well-being to find a safer occupation for you, either. And now here you are, addicted to the attention and the way it makes you feel and you can't walk away from it."

"I could too," Morgyn argued.

"Mhm," Drake said. "And when you're still a whore in fifty years, I'll try not to say 'I told you so,' but being honest, I think I will likely fail."

"I didn't know you were so judgey," Morgyn said, tone sour.

"No," Drake said. He sighed quietly, setting his book down. "I just worry about you. I like to think we've become decent friends now. I worry about my friends. You might notice I don't have a lot of them. The ones I do have are precious. I won't tell Ezio, either. But it's not safe to do that kind of work, for a lot of reasons. It's killed better than you, before, and I don't want you to be on the list of casualties. It'd destroy Ezio, too, and you know it."

Morgyn sighed, turning away. "I guess so," Morgyn answered.

"Think about it, Morgyn," Drake said. "But if you must get drunk, I will keep an eye on you."

"I probably shouldn't," Morgyn said. "I think I'll just go to sleep. See you tomorrow."

Drake gave a small smile and a nod, and Morgyn stood up and went to the staircase. Drake had a feeling he'd hurt Morgyn's feelings. Unfortunately, at times, that was the only way to get through Morgyn's head.


	15. Gaia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What is the progression of time in this fic? Quite frankly, no one knooooooooowwwwws...  
> Gaia, Blackmill

Hospitals, Ezio had discovered, had a particular feeling about them that no other location inspired. It was a strange feeling, as he sat in the waiting area, watching the wall for the most part. Occasionally, he'd glance out the window at the snow. It was falling softly to the ground, in swirls of white, and watching it fall was keeping his nerves in check. Ezio always did love the snow.

Ezio smiled to himself, and then the door opened. "Sorry about the wait, Ezio," his doctor said, shuffling over to him and handing him a bag. It rattled.

"It's okay," he said.

"This is your prescriptions slip," the doctor went on, handing him a slip of paper. "You'll need this to get your prescriptions entered into the database of whatever pharmacy you go to. I got this first month filled now for you out of our stores, so try them, okay? And if they help, or they don't, you tell me either way, alright?"

"Okay," Ezio agreed.

"This is the list of them and what they're for," and the doctor handed Ezio _another_ slip of paper. "Just in case you forget. And we'll see how things turn out for you, okay? I'll see you when you come back for your next check-up."

"Thank you," Ezio said. "Take care."

The other man shuffled away, and Ezio released a breath. Visiting hospitals was a new thing, but it turned out that he _did_ want answers for what was wrong with him, if modern medicine had them. Ezio went quiet, turning down to look in the bag of rattling medicine Dr. Sommer gave him. They had been over the medications five or six times now. Ezio knew which ones were which, could recognise a few by their shape and colour. Some of them he needed to take regularly, others were for specific, emergency situations, designed to help when Drake couldn't.

He should tell Morgyn and Drake. He should explain what these all were, and what they were for. He knew that, at least, because when he was in too much pain to think straight, or he lost consciousness, it'd be useful for them to know what to do. Ezio was still afraid to rely on this too much. It could very easily fail him, he knew that, and maybe he was being overly cautious. He'd rather be overly cautious, however, than not cautious enough.

Ezio took a breath in, gathered his things, and stood up.

"Have a good day," the receptionist said, as he headed out the door.

Ezio paused. "I don't need to do anything, do I?"

"Nope," the receptionist said. "Dr. Sommer may need you to fill out some paperwork the next time you come in, I think he wants to put you on assistance, but for right now you're part of the subsidy programme. If you need any help getting those prescriptions filled later, just give us a call, okay?"

Give them a what? "Okay," Ezio answered. He'd ask Lilith what a call was supposed to be, it'd be a bit less embarrassing to admit to Lilith that he had no idea what that meant. "Thank you, by the way," he said, pausing one more time.

The receptionist smiled warmly, and Ezio stepped outside into the snow. The cold still didn't bother him too much, smiling slightly to himself as a slight breeze kicked up and sent the snow swirling.

Ezio, so far, had not been bothered by anyone. There were no signs of stray, errant vampires with a potion collection anywhere around, and Ezio couldn't help but wonder if that incident was a mere fluke. If, perhaps, Morgyn was right and it was a matter of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. It felt bigger than that. He could sense it, in the dusklands, the natural order of things was disturbed. Something had shifted out of balance in one of the worlds, and now they were all imbalanced. Finding the _cause_ of such imbalance was going to prove highly difficult. Still, Ezio had a feeling it was serious, for both vampires and the spirits to be so shaken up as they were.

Everything would make sense eventually, or at the very least, he hoped it would. As it was, he was sort of winging it and hoping things came together eventually. First of all, he needed more information about what was going on. It might be a good idea to head to Forgotten Hollow and see what he could figure out, but perhaps not right this second. He was still somewhat weakened, and if he simply got himself killed, that wouldn't solve anything.

On the other hand, being dead was useful for unhindered exploration. Tempting.

Ezio shook his head, finally leaving the clinic porch and walking down the stairs. Across the street was Harbour Health Club, a gym and spa combination that of course he had to pass by every time he came here. Dr. Sommer had suggested some light physical activity to help strengthen his heart muscles, anyway. There was no reason why he couldn't follow that advice, even if it seemed somewhat counter-productive to him. There were times when he could hardly get out of bed, but he assumed that pushing it wasn't the goal. Simply, he was probably meant to nudge it, just enough that those instances became less common. He wasn't sure what would be safest for him to start with, but perhaps he could find someone that did.

With that in mind, he started towards the doors, scurrying across the street as quickly as he could without slipping on the ice. As he got closer, however, he noticed a middle-aged looking man with dark hair and eyes outside. He was doing _something_ , Ezio had never seen it before, and Ezio slowed to a stop to watch him. It almost looked like a dance to Ezio, but it was unlike any dances he'd ever seen before.

After several moments of watching him, the man came to a stop, and then looked up at Ezio.

"I'd ask if you were interested," the man said, "but I think it's safe to say you do."

He had an interesting accent. Ezio couldn't place that, either. "Yeah," Ezio said. "I'm sorry, I got a little distracted. I was going into the health club but I saw you."

"It's called heihuquan," the man said. "It means black tiger fist, and it is a martial art, related to the Chinese Shaolin arts."

Oh. Was that supposed to mean something to him? Ezio simply nodded.

The man laughed. "The Chinese Shaolin arts are simply combat styles that were developed at the Shaolin temple, a Buddhist temple in the Henan province of China. It is said that all martial arts under heaven originated with Shaolin. Shaolin has great influence in the martial world."

"That was a combat style?" Ezio asked.

"Oh sure," the man answered. "Actually, heihuquan is one of the most external styles in the Shaolin canon. It means it focuses very heavily on external, physical factors, as opposed to internal ones, such as mind coordination and the leverage of the relaxed physical form rather than the tensed one. Most of an internal style's teachings are about honing your mind and spirit, and uniting them as one with the body. It's all very spiritual and fancy sounding, and I doubt there's any true difference in execution."

Ezio tilted his head. That sounded kind of neat, if one was asking him, but of course, this man wasn't _asking_.

"Your energy seems a bit twisted up, though," the man said, squinting.

"Is it?" Ezio asked. That probably shouldn't be surprising, either.

"Or something," the man said. "I'm Glenn."

"Ezio," was Ezio's response. "It's nice to meet you I think."

"Do you want to learn?" Glenn asked.

Ezio thought about it. "Sort of," he said. "My doctor recommended fitting physical activity in whenever I can, something that isn't too intensive."

"Well, some of heihuquan is very physically intensive," Glenn said. "Practitioners of Shaolin, they jump around like popping corn kernels, anyone not used to that kind of thing will get winded and quickly, but we can start with some fundamentals, and take it a little slow. When was the last time you did anything physical?"

Ezio simply looked at him.

Glenn sighed. "Alright, we have to start back there with the _very_ basics, and build up some strength and physical conditioning first. Come on, come stand over here," he said. "We'll get this figured out and you'll be in decent shape in no time."

If he said so… Ezio tilted his head, but he set his things down on the sidewalk, and moved to stand where Glenn told him.

* * *

The last few days had been strange. Ezio was just as quiet as he usually was when he was upset, but now he seemed to go outside a lot more. Often, Morgyn caught him outside by the stream in the back of headquarters, first thing in the morning, doing something that vaguely looked like dancing. Morgyn wasn't sure what it was, but it seemed to give him a strange sense of peace. Morgyn was okay with anything that gave Ezio a bit of peace, no matter how strange it was.

This morning was no different from all the others. Morgyn stood on the balcony, leaning against the railing and watching Ezio across the grounds. Ezio had gone somewhere, come back, and started doing that, and Morgyn wasn't sure what to think of it. Should the blond be concerned? It wasn't like Morgyn had _asked_ about it or anything. The most concerning part was probably his silence. Morgyn didn't expect him to take having to kill the blond very well, but things should've evened out a little in the time since then. It almost seemed like he was taking it harder and harder as time went on, but then, he was a much more introverted person than Morgyn was. Maybe there was something else on his mind, and Morgyn simply wasn't privy to his thoughts.

Morgyn simply watched, as he went through whatever routine he had decided he was meant to follow. His balance was way off, even Morgyn could see that, but every time he almost lost his balance, his eyes sparked with more determination, and he went through it again. It was always fascinating, watching him fight with himself that way. His anger was dealt with in a similar way, too.

Morgyn got angry and turned it on everyone else. Ezio got angry and turned it on himself.

"He's at that again?" a voice asked.

Morgyn glanced towards it, finding Drake not far. "So it would seem," Morgyn answered, looking back at Ezio. "How long has he been doing this?"

"Almost a week now, I think," Drake answered. He has trouble with bits and pieces of it, but it doesn't seem to be a notable issue. He's getting through it anyway."

Morgyn went quiet, watching. They were raised farmers, of course. Morgyn was likely going to spin fabrics and make preserves for however long the blond was intended to live for. Ezio would've taken over the farm, cared for the livestock and the fields. Fate had other ideas for them both. Still, the way they had been raised meant that Ezio had a stronger build than he looked like he should. Most likely, all this work was doing was reminding his muscles they knew how to do certain things.

Morgyn smiled a little, watching. "He looks strangely happy," the blond said.

"Of course he does," Drake said. "He's only ever been free like that. You can't change other people. But you can change yourself, and make yourself whoever you may want to be. The concept's the same here. He may not be able to stop anyone from doing anything, but he can become the kind of person too strong to be brought to his knees by other peoples' decisions."

Morgyn glanced at Drake, and then looked back at Ezio. It sounded silly, when it was worded that way, but Morgyn knew what he meant. You couldn't always change things, but you could change how you thought about them, how you reacted to them, and whether someone else could easily hurt you or not. Ezio was the sort of person that fought with words, first. But sometimes, you needed something a little stronger than mere words.

"It doesn't look too straining," Drake said. "Maybe whatever he's doing is helping his heart."

"That's dangerous," Morgyn said, frowning. "He could hurt himself that way."

"Of course he can," Drake answered. "Merely breathing too deeply can hurt him sometimes, though, Morgyn. Don't you see it? He can control this. If and when it becomes too much, he can stop, or he can say, I'm going to keep trying, just a bit less hard. It's why he loved dancing so much. Because when he danced, he was free."

It was a strange thought. Morgyn didn't have much of a concept of what freedom was, though, but that was probably because Morgyn had never had a reason to develop one. It was what it was, and Morgyn didn't think about it too hard. It was interesting that it had a specific form for Ezio, but then it also made sense. Morgyn _pretended_ not to have any idea what happened at France, but the blond knew. If prancing around the yard made him feel better, then who was Morgyn to judge him?

The blond _did_ worry, though. Ezio might've been calmer than Morgyn, but he was still an Ember. He was still a de Lorraine. And Embers and de Lorraines, they were terrible about pushing their limits just a little bit too far, pushing _themselves_ a little bit too hard.

"I'm just curious where he got this idea and learnt this," Morgyn said. "He doesn't usually leave magic realm."

"If you're worrying about him getting hit with that potion," Drake said, "you know him. He'll probably go _looking_ for them, eventually."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" Morgyn asked.

"Sometimes, facts aren't meant to do anything but be facts," Drake answered. "Someone made him kill you. You didn't think they'd get _away_ with it, did you?"

Morgyn huffed. "I _was_ kind of expecting Ezio to have a little more sense than I do, yes."

"There's a very big difference between _knowing_ you shouldn't do something and deciding you should play it safe, and knowing the risks and deciding they're worth it," Drake said, one eyebrow quirking upward. "Ezio takes risks, sure, but he does seem to know _exactly_ what they are, and decide they're worth it. I wish he _wouldn't_ , but he is still an Ember." Asking an Ember not to do stupid things, particularly when it came to each other, seemed to be rather the futile situation.

Morgyn's arms crossed over one another.

"You can't in good conscience ask him not to be himself, Morgyn," Drake said. "And as much as I wish I could change his mind, it's his decision. I understand he will do what he thinks is right, no matter what I want. I cannot invalidate his personal agency and claim to care about him at the same time. Neither can you. All either of us can do is be here, and hope that if he needs either of us, he'll ask for us."

* * *

"Are you okay?"

It seemed strange that this would be the first thing out of Caleb's mouth, but then, Morgyn should've figured that rumours would have circulated. Who knew what Caleb had heard by the time the rumours got to Caster's Alley? By this point, Morgyn could've turned into Cthulhu and destroyed half the remaining islands of magic realm. It wasn't like Morgyn paid attention to the rumours. It was usually safer that way.

"Fine enough," Morgyn answered, one hand resting on a hip. "What'd I do?" It was interesting to know.

"Well, first, you got sick, and then you died, and then Ezio brought you back to life," Caleb explained.

Morgyn snorted. "Actually, that's pretty accurate for fifteenth-hand knowledge," the sage answered. "Close enough." Morgyn didn't think explaining the whole situation to Caleb, primarily given they didn't even know all the details themselves, and they'd lived through it, was a good idea. Ezio was still out there by the stream every morning, moving around in ways that were like and unlike dancing, and Morgyn still wasn't sure what he was doing. It seemed harmless, though, and Morgyn wasn't going to tell him what he could and couldn't do.

Unless it had something to do with terrible boyfriends. Morgyn was okay with never having to deal with another of Ezio's terrible boyfriends for the rest of their lives. That he'd given up on dating was still somewhat sad. Morgyn hoped that he changed his mind later. Then, Ezio had to learn how to love himself, more than he needed to learn what it was like to be loved by someone else the right way. Morgyn knew that.

"Well, I'm glad you didn't stay dead," Caleb said.

Morgyn snorted softly. "Yeah, so am I. Though it was certainly educational." An educational experience that Morgyn had little interest in repeating, that was for sure.

"I uh, I brought you this," Caleb said, handing Morgyn a carnation flower, the end wrapped in a water-soaked paper towel.

"Oh." Somehow, Morgyn hadn't been expecting that, but then the blond didn't know why not. Caleb was like that. Morgyn smiled softly, reaching out and taking the flower. It was a beautiful, bright yellow colour. Morgyn liked yellow, but mostly red. "It's beautiful."

"It reminded me of your hair," Caleb said.

Morgyn laughed. "I'm sure it did," the blond said, resting it in one of the cups on the table, just for now. Morgyn would get it a proper vase later. "So, how are you?"

"Oh, you know the usual," Caleb said. "Lilith's still spending more time at Vlad's manor than ours, but that's alright. I work a lot anyway. Which is funny I guess, working the stands at Caster's Alley isn't my job."

"But you do end up doing it a lot," Morgyn said.

Yeah. Caleb would never admit the reason why was partially because Caleb wanted an excuse to come by headquarters sometimes. (He said he didn't like the freaky-deaky portal things, but he managed.) "Yeah, I guess I'm too nice for my own good sometimes. Lilith says that a lot."

Morgyn snorted. "You are," the blond said. "But it's a good thing, really. People could use to be a little nicer, and I think only kindess makes more kindness."

Caleb looked a little bit confused. "So, you like me being a marshmallow?"

"Sure," Morgyn answered. "I don't know if you noticed or anything, but, I'm kind of an asshole. It's best that we weren't _both_ assholes." Morgyn didn't think they'd get along as well as they did if they were both assholes. Those tended to have a habit of trying to out-jerk each other.

"I'll try not to drastically change," Caleb said.

"Good," Morgyn said.

"Did you seriously die?" Caleb asked.

"Yeah," Morgyn answered, waving a hand dismissively. "Ezio probably knows, but the spirit world's a bit of a mess right now, as it turns out."

"Ezio would know that?" Caleb asked.

Morgyn arched an eyebrow. "He's a necromancer," the blond said. "Of course he knows."

Caleb stared at Morgyn for a moment, his features screwing up into confusion and bewilderment. "Necromancers are _real_?"

Morgyn snorted. "Of course they are," the blond said. "The stories humans come up with have root in reality. Maybe it's a little _messed up_ reality, sometimes, but still. Necromancers are the bridge between the dawnlands, or the world of the living, and the dusklands, that of the dead. They live halfway in one world, and halfway in the other. Spellcasters can affect the dead, to an extent, but not quite the same one as necromancers. They can sense the dead in a way that others can't, can learn to understand them, because they exist to help the living and the dead both find peace with inevitability."

"That… sound like a pain in the ass," Caleb said.

"I hate it," Morgyn said. "It hurts him in ways that just living doesn't. There are days when he can't tell himself apart from them. Times when he's just upset and there's no helping it because the sadness is coming from a ghost." Morgyn snorted. "When we were younger, he thought it was fun that he could see them, but then he started to hallucinate things, see their memories in his head. They weren't so fun, anymore, after that." Maybe the reason he couldn't come to terms with living was because Ezio had never really come to terms with dying, either. He'd accepted neither that he was, nor that death was part of his life either way.

Morgyn wondered, sometimes, if the reason Ezio could see them was because he was meant to join them early, and act as a bridge from the other side, but Morgyn tried not to think about it too much. It wasn't like Morgyn had any trouble fighting fate itself if it was for Ezio. People said they were too attached to one another, too confused and lost without each other. Maybe that was true. Morgyn didn't know. But when Ezio had been the only person the blond could trust for two hundred years, yeah, you got a little attached. Maybe some people would think it was wrong and unhealthy.

They didn't understand. The good news was, they didn't have to, either.

"That sounds kind of jarring for a kid," Caleb said.

Morgyn shrugged. "I think it'd be jarring for most anyone. This is why I say, he's stronger than I am. I don't mean sheer power, but probably that, too. I mean he can stare things down that would make me turn around and run. I mean he can stand back up while I'm still trying to remember which way the ground is." Morgyn smiled. "Don't tell him, cause I think it'd just embarrass him. But Ezio's my hero."

Caleb smiled. "You know, I kind of had a feeling he is."

"What gave it away?" Morgyn asked.

"Probably the way you talk about him," Caleb answered. They both went quiet, and then Caleb cleared his throat. "Is there anything I can help with, by the way?"

"Nah," Morgyn answered. "Well, I don't think I'll be going back outside magic realm for a while, so I may need you to help get a few things here and there, if you're up for that."

"Yeah, sure," Caleb said. "Uh. Anyway, I should probably go back to work now. I'll see you later then?"

"Yeah," Morgyn said, nodding. "Have a good day."

Caleb turned around and headed back down. Morgyn wouldn't know for sure, but it seemed like he walked with a little bounce in his step as he went.

* * *

His morning routine had changed dramatically, but already, Ezio was feeling better. Glenn had to change things a little bit, so that he could learn the basics without killing himself with it, but whatever he was doing was working. Ezio was a bit out of shape now, but he was getting better, a little at a time.

Ezio had to go back to the clinic from time to time already, so it worked out, and while he was out there, he'd stop by the health club, spend a little more time working with Glenn and learning heihuquan, and then he'd do most of his practicing on his own. Then, when they met up again, Glenn would watch him do the routine, give pointers, and teach him the next one. All the while, Ezio was getting stronger, and he felt stronger every day that passed, too, found things that used to be difficult becoming easier.

He'd done his morning routine, spending time out there listening to the stream and waterfall while practicing the routine that Glenn had taught him, and then he went upstairs to wade through the towers of books.

It still felt like he was right on the precipice of discovering something about this book, but since the story about the Five Families, he'd not learnt anything else. Incidentally, he remembered the pages where the information about the families was, and it wasn't in Simlish anymore. It made him think that he was only able to read what the book wanted him to read, and nothing more. He didn't dare ask it if that was how it worked.

Instead, he spent his time studying not the _language_ in it, but instead the images. Some of these were old Norse carvings, which Ezio had identified by the runes beneath the images, things he could find originals for in other books. There was more mention in these books, associated with these carvings, of a people called the vanir, but it wasn't clear what the vanir were. There were mentions of several gods that were in the Norse mythology books, and some of these gods were called vanir.

Mostly, what he didn't understand was how any of this had anything to do with him, or with magic realm. It was possible the vanir had something to do with magic realm's founding, but that was if you believed in gods in the first place. Of course, that delved into the possibility that what they called gods now were called something else a long time ago. The gods of many other cultures were mere humans at one time that ascended to the status of a god. The existence of the concept of a person being able to become a god in the first place suggested that gods weren't as complicated or special as people had long believed by this point.

Ezio tended to like the gods that were once human. It made it feel like greatness was something that was attainable, rather than something one was born with.

As he flipped through the pages of another book about Norse mythology, he heard footsteps, and then a light tapping on his door.

"Come in," he answered, half distracted.

Morgyn pushed the door open, closing it quietly, and then shuffled over to sit down on the other side of Ezio's book pile.

"I brought you tea," Morgyn said.

"Oh, thanks," Ezio said, glancing up at the blond.

"What are you doing?" Morgyn asked, setting the cup down.

"Trying to figure out what the fuck a vanir actually is," Ezio answered.

Morgyn's head tilted to one side. "A vanir?"

"They've been mentioned in this book a few times," Ezio said, gesturing at the leather-bound book on the floor. Today, its cover was blank. "The vanir seem to be important somehow, but I'm not sure how or what they even are. They're part of Norse mythology, and there are gods that are called vanir, but I still don't entirely know what they are."

Morgyn arched an eyebrow, looking at the book. "This is the book you were trying to translate?" Morgyn asked.

"Yeah," Ezio said, nodding. "It's being a bit of a pain."

"Can I?" Morgyn asked, gesturing at the book.

Ezio shrugged. "If it lets you."

Morgyn reached for it, taking the book in both hands. It didn't seem offended by that, so Morgyn flipped it open. The words were entirely indecipherable. If Ezio was making any sense of this at all, it was somewhat impressive on its own. "You can read this?" Morgyn asked, one hand tracing the designs on the side of the pages.

"Some of it, yeah," Ezio answered. "That specific page, no. Actually, turns out a page I could read before, I can't now. It seems to be changing the languages it's using whenever it feels like it."

Morgyn blinked, glancing up at Ezio, and then back down at the book. "All of it is unreadable to me."

"Of course," Ezio said. "It probably doesn't want you to know what's in it, just me, or something. I still haven't figured out its deal." That was fine, though. He'd figure it out eventually. Or at least, he hoped so, because if he spent the rest of his life studying this thing, and never made any sense of it, that'd be something. Maybe not a good something, either.

"Ezio, you know some of these books were enchanted by people that weren't very _good_ people," Morgyn said.

"I know," Ezio answered. "But the spirits think I need to read it, too." Ezio didn't make a habit of questioning the spirits. That was probably a bad idea over the long term, but so far, it hadn't ended terribly, at least.

Morgyn frowned, but didn't say anything at first. It was Ezio's choice whether he answered this thing's call or not, and the blond was trying to remember that Ezio could make his own decisions. Still, Morgyn worried. Ezio was notably more gullible than Morgyn was, in many ways. Far less so in other ways.

"Just be careful, okay?" Morgyn said.

"I know," Ezio replied. "Hey, it's really just curiosity at this point. And there's nothing in our libraries about the five families or anything. Maybe this thing's got some answers for some questions."

"And maybe it's lying to you," Morgyn said.

"I know that's possible. I just think it's worth it."

Morgyn sighed again. "Alright," the blond said. "I'll trust you, then. What'd it have to say about the five families?"

Ezio smirked, but he started explaining. The five families were where it all had begun.

And maybe they'd be where it all ended.

* * *

Ezio had gone by Caster's Alley to see what Caleb knew. The answer seemed to be virtually _nothing_ , at least nothing of any use to Ezio. Aside from the mystery book, of course, there was still the curious case of Morgyn going into overload because of a _potion_.

Ezio still owed some vampire a good hard punch in the face. With rings.

He fell into a chair, thinking. He had no way of finding this vampire anyway, unless he asked the spirits for help, and Ezio was very much against that idea. Spirits, like most creatures in the world, never gave anything for free. They expected something back, and while helping the spirits of the dead cross over was part of Ezio's job as a necromancer, sometimes they demanded very _interesting_ things. Sometimes they were just interesting. Other times, they were impossible.

The door behind him opened and closed. Ezio didn't bother turning around.

"Long day?" Drake's voice asked.

"Yeah," Ezio answered. "Just thinking about stuff."

"Like what?" Drake asked, moving around him and sitting at the chair beside his.

"I have a lot of questions about that potion," Ezio said. "Why a vampire had it, what the purpose of it was, why Morgyn… The list goes on."

Drake went quiet, thinking. "I can think of any number of potential answers for any of those."

"I know," Ezio said. "I can too. It feels important somehow."

"You tend to know these things," Drake said. "Your intuition's rarely ever wrong. Maybe you should listen to it."

Ezio released a sigh. Sure, his intuition was good. He did have a slight issue figuring out where to start with this, however, especially as he'd need to be careful not to get caught by the same thing that'd taken Morgyn down. They had resurrection potion on tap, now, but that wasn't the point. Of course this was perhaps moot, because if he came across the same vampire that had taken Morgyn out, then he was taking that mother fucker down, even if it took him down too. Nobody hurt Morgyn without answering to him.

But he had nowhere to start, nothing to go on besides that this felt big. It'd seem that this situation, and the one that had the spirit world stirred up, were two different things, but he didn't _feel_ like that was right. In fact, it almost seemed that one of these things was happening in response to the other.

"I don't know where to start," Ezio said. "All I know is that it feels important, like it's related to everything else somehow. If I think about it, sit here and be still, and _focus_ , I can almost see the entire row of Dominoes, lined up and ready to fall over. The details are blurry, and I can't make them out, but there's that sense of anticipation and dread anyway. Like the world is holding its breath."

Drake head tilted to one side. "I suppose that doesn't help you any, no. What else is going on?"

Ezio shrugged. "The spirit world is disturbed. They keep talking about some destroyer that's supposed to be awakening, someone that can enact great change, but what that means I don't know. One of them at least thinks the destroyer in question is Morgyn, and I'm supposed to guide Morgyn the right way and make sure we don't get another bad destroyer. I can't make Morgyn do _anything_ , so that's not helpful."

Drake blinked. "That's no small order," he said.

"No, it's not," Ezio agreed, tone rather bland. "I don't want to say I can't do it. I don't know that I can't. But Morgyn's not exactly the easiest storm to change the direction of. If Morgyn decides to go the wrong way, then I can't stop the shitnugget no matter how much I try, and I know that. All I'd be able to do then is bunker down and hope there's enough left to work with when Morgyn's done." And the reality was that there may not be. Ezio didn't know.

"Try not to think about the far future too much," Drake said. "Maybe somewhere along the way, things will start making sense and you'll understand what's going on a bit better, but this probably isn't very good for your anxiety."

"I know that," Ezio grumbled, sliding down in his seat.

Drake smiled. "And try and be careful, alright?"

Ezio smirked. "I'm always careful, though." Well, maybe in _some_ universe, he was careful. Perhaps not _this_ universe, however.

Drake, bless his heart, snorted softly, and looked at Ezio like he'd made a good joke.

"Yeah, I know," Ezio said, sitting back up. "I am awfully terrible at being careful. I like to pretend that I'm not." It made him feel a little better, or something. It worked well enough for him. Of course, this was why Ezio very rarely got onto Morgyn's case about not being so careful, because Ezio had no room to talk about it. Quite frankly, Morgyn had _probably_ gotten it from him. From that little boy that had died at France.

"I just don't want you to come back screaming next, Ezio," Drake said quietly. He wasn't so sure he could handle that. Morgyn _probably_ couldn't kill him, and Drake _thought_ he could. But he wasn't exactly jumping for joy at the possibility of finding out in real time. He'd much rather that one remained a mystery.

Ezio knew that. Being able to kill Morgyn like that, Ezio kind of wondered what was fucking wrong with him that he _could_. It'd worked out for the best, but that he'd done it almost entirely without hesitation made him feel like it was a sign of something fundamentally wrong. People shouldn't be able to do that, he didn't think. It wasn't like he'd ever asked anyone that would have an answer for that.

"I know," he said. "I won't do that to you." If worst came to worst, his mind had thought about the varying ways of offing himself before, and Ezio _was_ rather creative. He was just creative in the unconventional ways. Like creative in how to suicide, it'd seem.

"Thanks for that, at least," Drake said. "But still, be careful instead."

Ezio decided not to point out that being _careful_ not to run into the same vampire Morgyn did was nowhere on his list. He _wanted_ to find that mother fucker.


	16. Moonsong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm super excited for the new patch and Eco Lifestyle tbh. Like I don't think I've been this excited about a patch since the staircases.
> 
> I will also mention that after the interlude between TML and TMA, we will be getting the book cover reveal for OFAF, and then I will take a break for a while because I need to go through the outlines for the other books and make sure it's sensible and just tidy up a bit, tighten things up, do some more character and relationship development because I like that shit, etc.
> 
> As I mentioned on Tumblr, there've been some relationship changes that will alter how TMA goes, along with a few other small tweaks and changes that will affect how it progresses this time around so the rewrite of TMA will be very similar, but not go exactly the same. So overall it will feel very familiar, but we'll spend more time on certain things, like character and relationship development, and because of how the relationships are set up with TML, some things will have to change, we've also got new characters involved, and yeah.
> 
> Honestly the original TMA is kind of embarrassing to me now because I know I can do stories better than that but I was winging it for the first... like five chapters I think, and then got hit with this idea for a huge saga and it was like great okay, now I have to make this make sense from what I already have. And I tell you, it was messy and not at all my best, so, I am really happy to be redoing it.
> 
> I can't wait for chapter 22. 18 will also be amazing. And I'm SO excited for pretty much all of Calling Me Home.
> 
> Moonsong, Adrian von Ziegler.
> 
> I highly recommend this human's music, it is some of the most amazing stuff I've ever heard. I can't really pick any favourites but Moonsong is a good place to start; Crann Na Beatha is also great. I also love all of Saga. There will be more of Adrian's songs in OFAF, I'm sure. Probably also an Antti Martikainen or two.
> 
> As an aside, there is a slight symbolism in how Ezio is most often, in photo edits of the Embers, the one in front of Morgyn, despite the fact that Morgyn is the louder of them.

His eyes had always been that colour. Ezio remembered when they first met, back at France, and he'd turned a corner and nearly smacked into Drake. The first thing Ezio had noticed was how beautiful his eyes were. They were the same colour as Jean's, but Drake's were different. Somehow, they seemed warmer. Jean's were like ice, but Drake's had always been more like the midday sky, bright and almost too much.

Ezio smiled a little to himself, settling down on the couch next to him. Drake was reading something, unsurprisingly, but Ezio didn't mind. Just being around him was enough.

After a moment, though, Drake turned to look at him, and smiled. Ezio couldn't help but smile back, a little brighter than before.

"Do you have a minute?" Ezio asked.

"Of course," was Drake's response.

Any time Ezio asked for his time, Drake always had the time to give, no matter how busy he was. It was such a constant that Ezio hadn't ever really thought about it too deeply, maybe because he was afraid to. Maybe Morgyn was right, and Drake _did_ feel the same. That thought was scary, too, and there were so many reasons as to why, he didn't know what to do with them all. It was one thing to know those reasons, but it was another thing to make some semblance of sense of them. To go through them in your head, and filter out which ones couldn't possibly be right, and which were possible, which were _likely_.

He'd come for a reason. Ezio went quiet, looking down at his lap.

"Is something wrong?" Drake asked.

"No," Ezio answered, glancing up at him. "No, I just… I'm not as good at words as you are."

"I'm not really good at words either," Drake said. "In stories, maybe, but stories and reality are two different things. What's easy on paper isn't easy in person, most of the time."

Ezio snorted. He could say that again. He wasn't sure how to word this. That was one of the hard things about talking about things like this. Even if you knew, in your head, what you _should_ say, it was sometimes difficult to get the words to come out.

"I love you," Ezio said, abruptly. "I have for a long time. Probably since France, if I had to guess." Drake wasn't the first person to be kind to him, just the first in that house, at a time when Ezio needed the kindness the most. Sometimes, he wondered if he really loved Drake, or if he just loved the idea of him.

Maybe the answer was both.

Drake looked surprised, and then smiled. "I love you too, you know. Probably about as long."

Ezio wasn't surprised by that. Somewhere in his heart, he'd always known. Maybe that was why Ezio continued to run from it. Because he didn't know a love that wasn't broken or painful, and he didn't want that for him and Drake.

"I don't know how to love," he said. "And I don't want to hurt you because I don't know how to love." What if things didn't work out? Meaning well and trying to do things the right way, it didn't always mean that things turned out okay. That was the most painful kind of hurt, even. To know that you were trying your best, and find that your best still isn't good enough.

Drake reached over and took his hands, gentle as he always did, softly pressing a kiss to his fingers. "I know things won't be perfect," Drake said. "But love can conquer anything. You're still the best thing that's ever happened to me, the only good thing in my life. I don't imagine that will change."

Ezio released a puff of air, closing the bathroom cabinet door, and turning back around to face the mirror. "That's part of the problem," he mumbled under his breath. Love can conquer anything, huh? And how many fairy-tales had Ezio been reading recently, anyway? He didn't have time for silly daydreams, anyway, he reminded himself, glancing up at the bathroom mirror. His hair was a post-shower mess, but his lip had fully healed, finally.

He straightened up a little, looking at himself in the mirror. Fortunately, he hadn't hallucinated anything recently, and it was just himself staring back. For some reason, however, he didn't feel right today. The more time he spent learning black tiger, the fatter he got. (Morgyn and Drake would tell him he isn't _fat_ , it's muscle, and there's a difference, but he didn't have the build to be too muscular; he just looked fat if one asked him.)

As he stared in the mirror, though, he couldn't say what it was that felt wrong. One hand raised, a finger trailing down his nose. He really did look _so_ much like Morgyn. It was hard to imagine they weren't identical, for how similar they looked. If Morgyn was more masculine, Ezio wondered if they'd look even more alike. He supposed they'd never really know. Sometimes, he looked in the mirror, and he saw Morgyn. Other times, he wasn't sure what he saw.

That poor imitation of Morgyn that he was, he guessed.

Ezio drew a breath in, turning away from the mirror. He had things to be doing today, and he could spend the time on neither silly daydreams, nor comparing himself to Morgyn in the mirror. He moved around and got his shirt on, but then set his hand on the bathroom counter. His finger pushed against something, and a wooden clatter sounded.

Ezio looked down to find, once again, several of Morgyn's eyeliner sticks on the floor. He'd meant to give those back, and had forgotten. If they were still here, though, and the blond hadn't asked about them, it was unlikely Morgyn really missed them. He wondered, though… barely, he remembered the vision, what he'd seen in the mirror that day. It wasn't like Ezio could replicate that, exactly. But he could get kind of close.

Gently, Ezio set his glasses back onto the counter, and uncapped the eyeliner.

* * *

No one said anything about the single line of eyeliner over either upper eyelid. Ezio didn't expect anyone to, save perhaps L, but she seemed more amused than anything. Of course, anymore, L seemed amused by essentially everything. Ezio tried not to think too much about it, because L was an enigma to him, and he was already trying to figure out the leather-bound book. He didn't need to be trying to figure out a _girl_ , which he'd never had much chance of understanding in the first place, too.

Ezio was flopped over on a couch, reading as always he was. Drake was in the chair across from him, Morgyn not far, both also reading something. For Morgyn, this seemed less like a need to read something, though certainly that was welcome enough, and more of an interest in taking a break from trying to teach. Overall, Morgyn wasn't a _bad_ teacher. As time went on, the blond got better at it, as well. Morgyn was learning. Ezio thought that those Morgyn was meant to be teaching were also teaching the blond a thing or two, about patience, perhaps.

There was a comfortable silence in the room. No one said much, but none of them needed to. Ezio could feel one or the other of them glancing at him from time to time, though.

"What?" he finally asked.

Morgyn glanced up, and then looked at Drake for a moment. Drake looked notably confused.

"Nothing?" Morgyn said, sounding as confused as Drake looked.

"I can sense it," Ezio said. "You want to say something. So say it."

Morgyn sighed, closing the book the blond was reading and setting it on the table. "I'm worried."

"About what?" Ezio asked.

"You know as well as I do," Morgyn said, "someone doesn't just get over something like what happened with Jackson. But you've said absolutely nothing about it."

Ezio notably stiffened. "There's nothing to say."

Morgyn released a sigh, looking a little upset. "Ezio, you don't have to pretend you're fine with us."

Yes, he did. Ezio knew what Morgyn meant, but things were more complicated than that. He couldn't stop. By now, maybe a large part of him had _forgotten how_ to stop, because he'd hit the ground running from it all, and if he slowed down, then it'd all catch up.

And maybe he'd never figure out how to pull himself back together again, because he wasn't sure how he was together in the first place. Maybe he wasn't. Maybe he just _looked_ like he was.

'I'm fine' was the biggest lie Ezio had ever told.

Even in realising that, he also knew that he couldn't afford to be anything else. When you lived your whole life running, it was hard to know how to do anything else, and for Ezio, it was hard to care much. He did what he had to do to survive. To hell with anyone that judged him for it.

"I _am_ fine, though," Ezio said.

"Ezio, no one walks away from a fight like that completely emotionally unscathed," Morgyn said.

"Maybe I did," Ezio argued.

"Then how do you feel about it?" Morgyn asked.

Ezio snorted. "I don't want to talk about it."

"If it was fine and it didn't hurt you, you wouldn't refuse to talk about it."

"Morgyn," Drake said. It was meant as a warning.

Morgyn sighed, looking away at the wall. "You drive me crazy, you know that?"

Ezio snorted. "I figured that out, yes."

"I worry about you," Morgyn said. "Because even as you scream you're fine and everything's okay, your eyes whisper that you're drowning." Morgyn had figured that one out a long time ago. The blond worked the same way.

"You're seeing things," Ezio said. "And maybe projecting a little bit. Honest, I'm fine. Things went badly, and I wish they hadn't, but they did. It's not like being upset about it is going to change anything, and Jackson was right. I don't have forever. I can't be spending the time on things like this, being upset over things I can't change."

Morgyn frowned. "Ezio, that's not how it works."

"Isn't it? It works for me," Ezio said. "And maybe that's what really matters. I know you don't like it. But I wasn't asking you to like it."

"You can't expect me to be okay with you destroying yourself," Morgyn said.

"How is ensuring I can stay functional and not turn into a blubbering useless mess destroying myself?" Ezio asked.

"You guys," Drake said, releasing a quiet sigh, "calm down. The last thing anyone needs is you two getting into a fight. Morgyn's not saying how you deal with things is wrong. Just that maybe it's not the best for a long-term solution. Yes, you keep yourself functioning, but at what cost, Ezio?"

Ezio went quiet, glancing down at his lap. Then, he stood up, and walked away, out to the hall and presumably, the staircase.

Morgyn released a sigh, sliding down in the chair. "This is getting ridiculous."

"Ezio is just as stubborn as you are," Drake said.

Morgyn snorted. "I know," the blond replied. "I get it from him." Ezio was always the stubborn one. He was the immovable object. Morgyn learnt how to be stronger and tougher from him. Neither of them ever figured out how to be weak, though. Morgyn never figured it out, and Ezio never had a chance to.

Maybe that was something they'd have to fix eventually. As it was, if they ended up being too strong for too long, eventually, they'd break.

Morgyn had no more idea where to start than Ezio did.

"I can't stop him," Morgyn said. "I can't stop him from locking all that pain in there. He doesn't talk to me, when it matters, about things that matter. He still sees me as Rose. I don't think he ever stopped."

"I don't think that's right," Drake said quietly. "I think he's just decided that, you're more precious to him than he is to himself. Sometimes it's like he's trying to save himself, by saving you."

"That isn't how it works," Morgyn said.

"I know that," Drake answered. "I'm sure even he knows that."

Morgyn released another sigh, fingers fidgeting slightly. "He's always saving me, Drake," the blond said quietly. "Why can't I save him?"

Drake didn't answer immediately. Then, he tilted his head. "Because," Drake said. "He doesn't want you to."

* * *

He'd done this routine so many times by now, that he thought he could do it in his sleep. Not far away, Glenn watched, his face expressionless as Ezio ran through the motions.

As tough as it was, Ezio had taken to black tiger very easily. It was, in many ways, like dancing to him, and there was a time when he loved to dance, too. Black tiger would soon enough be no different, and when his body could handle it again, maybe he'd go back to dancing. Even if only to remember what it was to feel free again, though this was certainly very close.

Ezio came to the end of the routine, and Glenn smiled. "You're getting very good at this," he said.

"Am I?" Ezio asked, breathing.

"You are," Glenn said. "How do you feel?"

Ezio thought about it, and then took a breath in. "Stronger, I think," he said. "My heart doesn't flutter as much anymore. Walking down the stairs doesn't wind me occasionally anymore."

"That's a definite improvement," Glenn said. "I don't think you'll ever be able to _fight_ with black tiger, but you're sure doing a great job of _looking_ like you can beat somebody's ass."

Ezio snorted. "Should I be glad for that?"

"Sure," Glenn said. "I have noticed you have a slight problem with trying to too strictly command where the energy goes. Your job is merely to be a receptacle for it. Don't fight with it so hard. Follow it, instead, go where it guides you."

Ezio looked puzzled.

Glenn snorted. "Watch," he said, and then he moved into stance, and started to go through the same sets Ezio just did. Immediately, Ezio saw the difference. Glenn's sets were more fluid, moving from one to another like they were all part of the same chain of movements. Ezio's were stiffer, and he had a notable pause between each set. As if he was thinking about it too hard.

As Ezio watched, though, he eventually started to move in time with Glenn.

Glenn glanced at him as they went, from time to time. "Loosen your shoulder muscles," he said. So Ezio did. Then, Glenn gave him another tip, and Ezio listened. As they went, Ezio's movements became more and more fluid, like Glenn's were, and took less effort. He could certainly make his life a lot easier if he learnt to follow the flow and use his momentum to an advantage.

"When we are done," Glenn said, "and I have taught you all I can teach you, you will not have learnt black tiger. You will have learnt something _like_ it, but not quite. Something more tailored to you. I suppose, we will have invented something of a new style together."

Ezio snorted. "We can call it mock black tiger."

Glenn laughed. "No," he said. "I will call it tiger heart. Huxinquan has a nice sound to it."

Ezio arched an eyebrow. It did have a nice ring to it, he had to admit. It was weird to think that they were essentially developing an entirely new style just for him. He wasn't sure how he felt about it. Mostly, he tried to put it out of his mind.

As they went along through the sets together, Ezio eventually frowned slightly. "Is there a way to let things pass through you, like the energy does, without it hurting?"

Glenn seemed surprised by that question. He didn't respond right away, and they went back to going through the sets together in relative silence. Ezio began to wonder, after a few minutes, if he should've kept that question to himself. Glenn didn't seem to have an answer.

And then he took a breath in. "Many things in life will hurt in some way," he said. "That is the way of things. That is the way of _life_. It isn't the things that hurt that matter, it is what we do with the hurt."

Ezio looked confused again, but he didn't ask.

Glenn smiled. "Turn it into something else, Ezio," he said. "Emotional energy isn't some mystic thing. We've known what to do with it our entire lives. You can't destroy anger, or pain, or sorrow, but you can turn that anger and pain and sorrow into something else. Channel it into willpower, into something constructive, into growing beyond it."

Ezio was quiet for a few moments, thinking that over. He had a point. Ezio knew, probably better than most because of the emotional transfer between himself and spirits, but he knew that emotions had energy. Like most energy, it wasn't inherently one thing or another. It could be turned into something else. That was how magic worked, even.

"I don't know if I can ever grow beyond it," Ezio said. "Sometimes, there's so much, I can't think straight. Figuring out how to channel it into something else when I barely know who I am in the middle of it may be harder than it sounds."

Glenn snorted. "Hasn't anyone ever told you?" he asked. "Your mind is your most powerful tool. What you think can either make or break your ability to do anything at all. You can't think to yourself, I don't know if I can do this. Of course you can't, when you're thinking like that. Everything can be overcome, in time, and the pain is there to teach you something. Learn from it, don't shut it out, and turn it into something else."

Ezio wondered what his pain was there to teach him. If he had to guess, not to trust annoying, French barons that spoke through their nose. Ezio tried not to think about that time, too. It was easier not to, easier to keep moving, and yet every time he turned around, he was making the _same mistakes_ and ending up in the _same situations_ , and maybe there was a reason why. Maybe he hadn't learnt whatever it was he was meant to learn.

"What if you don't know where to start?" Ezio asked.

Glenn glanced at him, and then turned back away. "You should be asking your heart that," he said. "The heart always knows, what to do, what's right for you, even if the head doesn't know."

Ezio frowned a little. As much as he made fun of Morgyn for not knowing how to listen to the heart, Ezio wasn't so good at it either, sometimes. He was used to ignoring it, at the very least, suppressing it at worst, to make sure he was always standing when Morgyn couldn't. It went back to that not knowing any other way of operating, not knowing how to be weak. Maybe he'd never figure that out, but he had a feeling he needed to learn how.

Jean had broken the boy in him, and if Ezio didn't figure it out, he'd break the man he'd become, too.

"Come on," Glenn said. "Let's start on the new sets." Glenn went quiet, as they slowed to a stop, and faced each other. "Ezio," he said, "if you want something to change, you've got to want to change it."

And that was the crux of the problem, wasn't it?

Ezio did not want to change.

* * *

Despite having gone outside magic realm many times since Morgyn had been hit with that potion, Ezio still had yet to run into that vampire. It was beginning to get a bit grating, but he should have imagined things like this wouldn't be easy. If he wanted this vampire, it was looking more and more like he had to go hunt them down. Ezio wasn't _quite_ up for hunting. On the other hand, since when did _that_ ever stop him?

Ezio made his way into headquarters, nodding at Simeon as he passed the sage by on the way up the stairs. Morgyn was up on the balcony, he'd seen that coming in. He nudged the door open, shuffling out. Morgyn was reading something, sitting in a chair. Apparently, Ezio had good timing, because no one was bothering Morgyn at that exact moment.

Morgyn looked up at him. "Hi," the blond said quietly.

Ezio didn't answer, instead moving over to Morgyn, sitting down on the wood floor, and rested his head in Morgyn's lap.

Morgyn looked surprised, but put a bookmark in the book, and set it down. "Are you okay?"

Was he okay? The real question was, had Ezio _ever_ been okay? Because it was looking, more and more, like the answer to that was no, he'd never been okay. Simply, he was very good at pretending he was, but he was getting terrible at _that_ , too.

"I don't think I am," he said quietly.

Morgyn's hands gently rested on Ezio's hair. "Do you want to talk about it?" the blond asked.

"No," Ezio said. "Yes. I don't know. Maybe."

Part of the problem, of course, was Ezio still didn't know where to start. And there were some things Ezio never said, not to Morgyn, because those were things that, if the blond knew them, would break Morgyn's heart. Ezio never said any of them to Drake, either, because Drake was there for most of them, and really didn't need to be dealing with Ezio's pain over it this long after.

Or maybe they were just excuses that he kept telling himself to justify never facing it. As if that was some way to live. Like if he ignored those things long enough, maybe they'd go away, and yet here they were, 200 some odd years later, and it all still hurt, every time this happened and he was reminded of how _stupid_ he was.

That was what he did, though. He cut pieces of himself out when they became too painful, smothered them until they didn't make any noise anymore, and then pretended they were never there at all.

But maybe you couldn't live by killing bits and pieces of yourself.

Morgyn didn't say anything. Instead, the blond gently ran fingers through Ezio's hair. There were pains in him that Morgyn couldn't fix. Pains that, maybe, would always be there to some extent, scars that would never fade. Morgyn had accepted that a long time ago.

It didn't make it any easier, to watch him slowly falling apart, knowing there was nothing to do about it. And maybe, Ezio needed to fall apart, to understand that he couldn't keep living this way.

"I'll always listen," Morgyn said, "no matter what it is you want to say. You're always here when I need you. I want to be here when you need me."

Ezio didn't respond, but then he made a strange noise, and Morgyn leaned over to find him crying.

"Oh, Ezio," the blond said, sliding off the chair to sit on the wood with him. Ezio moved, clinging to Morgyn like the blond was the only thing that mattered.

"I just want it to stop," he said.

"Want what to stop?" Morgyn asked.

"Everything," Ezio answered. "The pain, the doubt, the voices in my head that aren't me but sound like me, and yet never have anything nice to say, I want to be able to think and breathe again, I want to do things without being afraid of anything. I don't want to _live_ like this anymore." He'd told himself no one was ever going to make him feel like Jean did again.

And yet so many had, over the years. Jackson had gotten rough with him, and for just a moment, Ezio was that sixteen year old helpless boy again.

Morgyn didn't answer, just yet, instead the blond's arms wrapped around him, and rocked just slightly. Very softly, Ezio could hear Morgyn humming, a song their mother used to sing them, when they were very young and the wolves howled too loudly at night. Those were so much simpler times, and Ezio missed them.

Strangely, the melody helped. Ezio started to calm down, after a few moments, and then a little while later, he hiccuped, reached up, and brushed away the tears.

Morgyn smiled quietly, reaching up and helping. "I'm proud of you," the blond said.

"What for?" Ezio asked.

"I know it's not easy to talk about that. And you did," Morgyn answered. "Thank you."

Ezio snorted. "I don't know why you're thanking me."

"Ezio," Morgyn said, "I've been out here, hoping you'll let me in, even just a little bit, for over a hundred years. I want to know these things. I want to know this you."

Ezio looked down at the floor.

"You said it yourself," Morgyn went on. "Everything you've ever done was for me. It's my turn. I'm not going to judge you. I won't see you differently."

"That isn't why," Ezio said.

"Then why?"

"I don't want to hurt you," Ezio explained. " _Because_ everything I've ever done was for you. And I don't want you to think that it's your fault somehow."

Morgyn sighed, reaching over and taking Ezio's hands. "You don't think watching you fall apart this way, and being unable to fix it, hurts too? I don't need you to protect me anymore, Ezio. I need you to be here with me. And I definitely don't need you to protect me from you."

Ezio's eyes met Morgyn's, for a moment, and then he looked back down at the wood.

"I went to see a doctor," he said, rather abruptly.

"Wait, what?" Morgyn asked. "A doctor? Like, a doctor-doctor?"

Ezio snorted softly. "I don't know any other kind."

"Ezio, you know doctors sell poison and pretend they're remedies -"

"Things are different now," Ezio interrupted. "A few hundred years ago, yes, that _was_ how it was, but now they've learnt more, they understand things better. They know what's wrong with me. And maybe they also know how to fix it."

Morgyn's gaze narrowed in uncertainty. " _Maybe_ how to fix it?" the blond asked.

"It's experimental," Ezio said. "In a way, it always is, because everyone reacts to medicine in different ways. Everyone's body chemistry and whatnot is different. It may not work for me, but maybe it will work for someone else. I've got a small number of medicines I'm trying, and we'll go from there."

Morgyn eyed Ezio for a few moments longer. "And when were you going to tell me?"

"I'm telling you now," Ezio said. He hadn't meant to tell Morgyn that anytime soon, actually. It seemed somewhat important, and maybe Morgyn was right, and shoving the blond out of his life wasn't going to help anything, unless he wanted to feel isolated. It would certainly help with that.

"What's that thing you're doing?" Morgyn asked. "In the mornings."

"Black tiger," Ezio answered. "It's a combat style, learning from someone else. Dr. Sommer suggested I find a physical activity, to get myself back into better physical shape. Glenn's changing it a little, as we go, so that it's less strenuous. I'm doing _better_ , Morgyn. I haven't had an episode in several weeks now, that's a record."

"I know it," Morgyn said.

"I think this may actually help," Ezio said. "I'm not asking permission. I'm just telling you."

Morgyn drew an uncertain breath in. "Okay," the blond said. "If you believe in it, I'll believe in you."

Ezio smiled. Things really were that simple, weren't they? If he believed, so could Morgyn.

* * *

After going through the new morning sets outside by the water, Ezio had come back upstairs, and meant to be going through his mystery book. Today, however, seemed to be a terrible day for focusing on anything, because he didn't seem to be able to do it. Every time he tried to focus, his mind wandered off to something else.

It was just as well. The book was silent, just like it'd been for the last several weeks, and Ezio wasn't any closer to discovering its secrets than he'd been before. At this rate, it felt like he'd never figure it out. Maybe he wasn't meant to. Maybe he was just meant to be interested in the chase.

He sat in bed, his arms on the headboard, his chin resting on his hands. Sometimes, there were little sparkles of light in the sky, that he thought _might_ be the moving star cluster that he kept seeing. He hadn't seen it recently. He still wondered if it was even there at all, or if what he was seeing was a mere trick of the light.

Who knew how anything in this place worked?

He was debating going downstairs and playing chess or something. Usually, that helped his mind start focusing, but maybe he needed a break, too. He probably did, really. He'd probably spent a little too much time researching this or that thing, and he was still hurting over Jackson and his little stunt.

It was funny, how he told Jackson that it didn't matter, and they could figure it out, but it did matter, and they probably couldn't. Ezio didn't tend to like it when people made him feel like that. It was a difficult feeling to describe, but most of them were.

As he debated the chess game, he felt something shift. It was interesting to him, how he always felt it when Lilith or Caleb came here. He wondered if Morgyn felt it, too. Morgyn was the sage, after all.

He stood up, shuffling out the door and down the stairs. He met Lilith in the entryway.

She seemed different, somehow. Maybe a little stronger.

"Ezio, it's nice to see you," she said, holding her arms out.

Ezio smiled, taking the offered hug. Lilith was like their sister, sometimes. But she had to be so active a sister for Caleb, it made sense most of what she did had a sister-like streak to it. "It's nice to see you too," he said. "How have you been?"

"Alright," Lilith answered. "Vladislaus and I are training a lot. I got so busy, I don't even know what day it is."

Ezio snorted. "That makes two of us," he said. It was December. That was all he knew.

"How are you?" Lilith asked.

"Alive," Ezio answered.

Lilith gave him a look.

Ezio sighed. "Jackson and I broke up," he said.

"Oh… Oh I'm sorry," Lilith said.

"Nah," Ezio said, shrugging. "It was for the best, I think. Drake threatened to kill him anyway, and I think it was less of a threat and more of a _promise_."

Lilith went nearly cross-eyed. "Wait, _Drake_ threatened him?"

"Yep," Ezio said.

"Oh gosh, what'd he do?" For _Drake_ to threaten you, it had to be something pretty terrible. Actually, Lilith could only imagine… "He didn't hurt you, did he?"

Ezio didn't answer, but the way his eyebrows rose and he shuffled slightly uncomfortably answered for him.

Lilith released a breath. "Are you okay?" she asked.

"I'm better," Ezio said. "But I don't think I'm going to be okay for a little while longer."

"That's understandable," Lilith said.

"He said that he was frustrated, because I'm dying. At the time I thought it was something we could've worked through, but in hindsight, that was probably just wishful thinking."

"Yes, probably," Lilith said. "That was for him to figure out how to work through, not you to work through for him."

"I know," Ezio said. "I went to a doctor, though."

"Did you?" Lilith asked. "How did that go?"

Ezio smiled. "I'm on medication now. On the way home, I found someone practising martial arts, and now I'm learning it, mostly for the exercise, but it's fun too. Oh, hey, what's a phone call?"

Lilith blinked. "Um, a phone is like a box with numbers on it, and there's a part at the top that comes off," she explained. "Then you press some numbers, and it connects to another phone, it's called a phone call. You talk through the part that comes off at the top, and the person on the other phone can hear you."

Ezio's eyes went a little wide. Lilith laughed slightly. "Humans have learnt sorcery," he said.

"Not quite," Lilith said. "It's technology. It turns what you say into an electrical signal, and then sends that electrical signal across phone cables. Then on the other end, the phone picks up the electrical signal, and turns it back into sound you can understand."

"That's actually really cool," Ezio said. "Technology is weird, but cool."

Lilith laughed. "It is. For such short-lived idiots, they sure can get weirdly innovative."

"Hey, out of curiosity," Ezio said, "Morgyn was attacked and killed by a vampire, and I'm wondering if you know this vampire."

Lilith looked concerned. " _Killed_?"

"Oh, I brought Morgyn back to life with a resurrection potion," Ezio said. "Morgyn's okay."

That was good then. Lilith looked a bit relieved, and then shrugged. "What's this vampire look like?" she asked.

"Morgyn said they're female, black hair, dark skin, and white eyes," Ezio said.

Lilith made a noise. "Sounds like someone I know," she said. "But no one's seen her in… well, a good long time, actually. Her name's Kat Cave, and the last I heard of her, she and her friends got caught up in a little misfortune and Kat didn't make it out of it."

Ezio's eyes narrowed, his head tilting to one side. "That implies she died," he said.

"I know it did," Lilith answered. "Because I'm fairly certain she did."

"Then what is she doing throwing potions around?" Ezio asked.

"Isn't _that_ a question," Lilith replied. "Wait, potions?"

Ezio nodded. "Morgyn was hit with a potion," he explained. "It sent the idiot into magic overload. Well, not exactly. The semantics of how the damn thing worked don't matter here. The point is, it was a potion."

"Vampires don't _do_ potions," Lilith said. "It sounds like there's someone else involved in this, and it seems like it's probably a spellcaster."

"Hybrids exist," Ezio said.

"Of course they do," Lilith replied. "But they already feel segregated and judged, do you really think one would want to pit the vampires and spellcasters against each other like this has the potential to do?"

"Sure," Ezio said. "If one of them became angry enough, I can see them blaming both sides for their own misfortune. And if I say so myself, they wouldn't entirely be wrong."

Lilith released a sigh, glancing away. "This could be a serious problem," Lilith said. "It almost sounds like there's a spellcaster raising dead vampires for… some reason." Lilith's words trailed off. As Ezio looked at her, he could see something clicking in her head, but whatever conclusion she came to, she didn't share.

"I have to go," she said. "I'll talk to you later, Ezio, and be careful."

Ezio barely had the chance to answer, before she turned around and went back through the portal to Glimmerbrook. What did she just realise? He did wish she'd given him something a little more substantial to _work_ with, but, he had a name. By itself, that name _probably_ wasn't going to help him any, but he'd been surprised before.

Lilith was right, though. If this Kat Cave was dead before, and suddenly wasn't, _and_ happened to have a potion on-hand that proved to be very deadly to spellcasters, then _someone_ was fucking with something they shouldn't be.

Even if he _didn't_ already want to find this vampire, he'd _certainly_ want to now, even if only merely to find some answers. He was right, and this was very likely to be much, _much_ bigger than just Morgyn.


	17. Strange Highs and Strange Lows

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, sorry for that sudden hiatus for a week there. I have intense, terrible pain from time to time, and it causes me to be basically completely useless for a while, anywhere from 3 days to a week, sometimes almost two weeks, it depends. That was one of those nice episodes, but I AM BACK! Not from outer space! Props if you get the reference!!
> 
> So this will be the first chapter that uses only one image, and going forward, I believe I will be continuing to only use one image per chapter, maybe two at times. Honestly, I'm not a very visual person, I'm not going to lie, so visual mediums are difficult for me to understand and utilise to greatest effect. I just don't get it, so I feel like it's always lacking somehow even when it's not, and I'm never happy with anything I come up with visually. It's... kind of a messy brain shit thing, so I won't get into the long of it, but it's much less stressful for me to just take a screencap here and there, even if they're not really relevant, and use them as chapter header/intro images.
> 
> This is Strangelove, by Depeche Mode. Interestingly, I write much easier on this when I'm listening to 80s stuff.
> 
> Next chapter will be a really good one and I hope you guys enjoy it as much as I'm going to enjoy writing it, I've been looking forward to it for EVER. Lol

Another day, a little more eyeliner than before, and surprisingly, still no one had said anything. Earlier that morning, Ezio had passed by L, and she'd given him an interesting look, but hadn't said anything, either. Ezio was never terribly skilled at reading other people's moods or expressions, particularly not L's, as her varying looks seemed to all have a different meaning, depending on the day. He had long ago given up making sense of her. It was likely much better for his blood pressure.

Drake was working on another book. Ezio was reading one, occasionally listening to the sounds of Drake scribbling away over there. Ezio had to wonder if there was a quicker way of getting your words out, but it wasn't like he had any brilliant ideas.

Ezio slid further down in his chair, lying across it somewhat sideways, brushing black waves of hair out of his way. His hair had a habit of being unnecessarily unruly, but Morgyn's was certainly worse. He could take mild comfort in that.

If he'd expected either Drake or Morgyn to completely lose it over the eyeliner situation, it would likely have been Drake. They were _all_ from a much different time, of course, but Morgyn didn't have a gender and had been fighting with that reality their whole lives. Drake, on the other hand, was a totally different story. He had no reason to be so accepting of it, but then, he did have a habit of being accepting of _Ezio_. Most of the time, Ezio tried not to think about it. It was much easier that way, but he did figure out, a long time ago, Ezio seemed to be able to do very little that was wrong in his eyes.

Ezio couldn't say it wasn't true the other way around.

"Are you okay?" Drake asked suddenly.

Grey eyes flicked from the book to look up at Drake. "Yeah," he said. "Why wouldn't I be?"

Drake shrugged. "I don't know," he answered. "You just seem a little restless over there."

There were times when, how much attention Drake paid to him was nothing new or interesting. And there were other times when it was somewhat befuddling and mind-blowing. This time was one of the latter times. He was always a little bit embarrassed to be reminded how much attention to him Drake paid, and this time was no exception to that, either.

"Just trying to figure some things out, that's all," Ezio said, smiling.

"If you need to talk, you know I'll listen," Drake said.

Ezio knew that. In some ways, it was almost a problem. Drake was always spending way too much time on him, if one asked Ezio. No one had directly asked him, however, and that was likely for the best.

"I know," he said. There were simply some very complicated things having a war in his heart, but that was nothing new. The war came and went. Battles were fought, won, and lost at what seemed like random, but it was merely following the patterns of his emotions. Those, too, were in constant flux.

Many made the mistake of thinking that only _Morgyn_ was the chaotic one of the Embers. Ezio was just as chaotic. He simply hid it better.

"Sometimes, I wonder if you do," Drake said.

Ezio laughed. "Ouch," he said, still smiling slightly. As valid as that was, it still managed to be a little bit of a blow. Drake meant well, Ezio knew that, and he tried not to take it too personally. Drake was right, at any rate, and Ezio could use to remember that he did have people to talk to. Still, Ezio was not Morgyn. It was Morgyn that most needed the external feedback. Ezio looked internally.

"I know you're a quiet person," Drake said. "And I don't want to push you, I just worry about you a lot."

Ezio knew that, too. He released a sigh, his eyes narrowing slightly in sadness. "A lot of the time, I just need to figure things out myself, first. It's hard for me to talk about things I don't have words for, and I can't find the words if I don't think about it on my own."

Drake sighed. He understood that, but he also understood that it was a good excuse to make others stop looking at it, and eventually, forget it. Drake wasn't sure how he felt about that, but he also knew that he couldn't make Ezio talk to him, no more than Morgyn could manage it. As frustrating as it was, it was also reality.

"Well," Drake said, looking up at him, "is this just a thing, or do you think you're more of a she?"

Ezio blinked in surprise, and looked confused. That was what Drake had come away with? Then again, Ezio supposed that was a logical thing to wonder, given Morgyn was moving wildly between genders at the moment. They weren't _exactly_ the same, but they had enough similarities that it was logical to presume that, in light of Morgyn's gender issues, Ezio might realise he had one or two. The good news, he supposed, was that he didn't seem to.

He shook his head. "No," he said. "I think it's just a thing." Occasionally, there would be days where he felt weird, in a way that was hard to explain even to himself. On those days, being called 'he' was annoying, but it was a fleeting, surface-level annoyance, not a deeper one, and within a day or two, the feeling went away again. Life went on, he stopped being annoyed by being gendered male, and, truthfully, he tended to eventually forget that it had ever happened at all. At least, he forgot until it happened again.

"Okay," Drake said, "I was just making sure."

"Thank you," Ezio said. "For caring enough to ask, I mean. Weird that you would, though."

Drake shrugged one shoulder, looking down at the floor for a moment, before looking back up at Ezio. "I can't tell you how you feel," he said. "Only you can say that. And I don't want to hurt your feelings on accident." And that, really, was as complicated as it needed to be. The point, of course, of pronouns and labels were to enable someone to communicate to others how they felt and who they were. Identity was important to a lot of people, and communicating that identity was, too. Like most things rooted in language, they were intensely unfit for the purpose a lot of the time, but as time went on, people invented new words to describe the world around them. Labels and pronouns would be no different.

Ezio smiled. "I guess that's true," he said. "If I ever change my mind, I'll let you know. You'll probably be the first one I tell."

"I'd figure Morgyn would be first," Drake said.

"Sometimes Morgyn knows things without me saying anything," Ezio said. "It matters more with you, somehow. Maybe because you care."

* * *

The pages were still changing. Thus far, Ezio couldn't figure out any sort of pattern to which pages he could read when, so it did seem as if the book almost had a mind of its own. Ezio wasn't sure he was comfortable dealing with a book that seemed to have a mind of its own (Morgyn was right about there being books here enchanted by people that weren't very good people). What he'd said to Morgyn was correct, however. He had no other leads, and this may be the only way he could get answers about anything.

All the same, he did recognise this was an inherently dangerous situation to find himself in. He didn't know how much of this book was the truth, what its goals were. One thing Morgyn didn't think of that _he_ certainly had was the possibility the _spirits_ he was dealing with weren't good ones. There were plenty of malicious spirits. He'd dealt with more than his fair share of them.

Today, however, there was a passage that he could read in this mysterious book. This time, it wasn't in Simlish, so he was having a little bit of a tough time making sense of it. Unconsciously, Ezio tilted his head to either side, cracking his neck, and then went back to rifling through books, comparing glyphs. It was all a mess to him, but he was making a little bit of progress.

The portion that he'd managed to translate was talking about some kind of an ocean. Ezio _thought_ , an ocean of stars, or something to that effect, though he had the feeling that 'stars' was a figurative reference to something else. The word was spelled slightly differently, depending on where it was in a sentence, which he'd never personally seen in practical linguistics before. Perhaps whoever had written this wasn't trying to be terribly practical about it.

Then, the passage went on to speak of something being born in this ocean it was talking about. If he was translating the next bit of the passage correctly, the ocean was where this something was born, and where it went when it was gone. That was the word for 'die,' he thought, in this language, but something being born somewhere and then returning to it to die was a strange concept to him. Things tended to simply die. Unless this wasn't a physical death and more of a metaphysical one. Or, perhaps, even metaphorical.

This book was more complicated, and temperamental, than Ezio had been expecting. It was either testing him, the information it had to impart was dangerous as all get out, or he was going to end up selling his soul to some evil spirit by the end of this.

Just so, in the background, he could hear the soft melodic calling. The song that seemed to harmonise with something in him. It was almost always going, anymore, though it was usually quiet enough, now, that he could rather effectively block it out. He still wasn't sure what to do with it. He thought about mentioning it to Morgyn, but the blond was already worried about him enough as it was.

Still, black tiger and his medications were working decently for keeping him stable. He'd needed to change a few medications he was taking, because they had undesirable side-effects, but the fact he was up and moving at all was kind of amazing unto itself. He wasn't stupid, though often he wished he was. Likely, Ezio had been on a fast track to finally dying, and without being fully aware of it, Lilith had saved his life, just by handing him a card with an address on it.

He should thank her, later.

The chiming melody grew louder, for a moment. Ezio sighed, setting the book down in his lap. The passage he was working on translating had moved onto talking about some kind of substance that, if he was translating correctly, had birthed magic. Or birthed fairies, and then fairies birthed magic. Or maybe it was the other way around and the fairies birthed magic first and magic had created this substance.

This language was _confusing_.

"Yeah, I hear you," he said, under his breath, to the chiming melody in the sky. He never did figure out a specific direction that it was coming from. It seemed to be from everywhere, and yet nowhere at all, at the same time. That in and of itself was unprecedented. Between the chiming melody, and the mystery leather-bound book, Ezio was sure dealing with a lot of those unprecedented things these days.

Then, he felt it. The sense that something was watching him. Ezio immediately scrambled to his feet, his muscles slightly protesting the sudden movement, and bolted across the space to the window. Ah, yes, there it was, staring back at him in the inky blackness and swirls of colour and scattered pinpricks of light that made up the sky. The cluster of stars that moved as one.

Ezio reached down into his pocket, pulling a notepad and a pencil out, and quickly, he tried to sketch the shape of the cluster of stars onto the page. If he stood up and found a window quickly enough, upon feeling like something was watching him, most often, he could catch sight of the cluster of stars. He still didn't know what it was, if it was some kind of a creature, or if it was just a trick of the light, or something else entirely.

He glanced down, trying to figure out if the shape he'd sketched was remotely right, but when his grey eyes looked back up at the cluster of stars, it was gone again. Ezio leaned over to one side, seeing if he could find it, wherever it'd gone, but there was no sign of it. Every time he saw it, and it was gone again, he wondered if he was hallucinating. He did that, from time to time.

Ezio looked back down at the notepad, at the shape that he'd sketched. As he gazed at the sketch, he thought it almost looked like a bird of some kind. An invisible bird seemed improbable, but he was a spellcaster. He was a witch. Many things in Ezio's long life were improbable, and yet, existed all the same.

* * *

So few things made any sense that Ezio was beginning to wonder if anything had ever made sense. It felt like things had always been a little messy and convoluted, even if Ezio didn't fully understand why or how, and neither did Morgyn. It was easier to ignore it and go on with life when neither of them had any idea how messy and broken everything was beneath the surface. The spirits were still stirred up, intensely enough that, if Ezio wasn't careful, their residual emotional energy could keep him awake until dawn through sheer close proximity. And by close proximity, he meant not very close at all.

L was starting to act a little weird. If Ezio was guessing correctly, she was incidentally channelling some of that residual emotional energy the spirits were giving off. She seemed unaware of it, however, which was new for her. L was always wildly aware of it when she was channelling a spirit or several, but this one seemed to slip right through her fingers.

Something big was happening, Ezio knew it now.

Still, fretting about it wasn't going to solve anything. He tried to remember to take breaks from the mystery book, to distance himself from the whispering that was constantly in the shadows and the singing that never seemed to stop anymore. It was almost enough to give him a constant _migraine_ , but Ezio tried not to focus on it. It wasn't like it was going to _go away_ , if he ignored it, but he was hoping that it'd at least become easier to deal with.

"Ezio?" a voice said.

Ezio looked up from his book, finding Drake looking at him with concern in icy eyes.

"What?" Ezio asked. "Did I say something weird?"

"No," Drake answered. "You're just really jittery."

"I'm not jittery," Ezio argued. "I'm just fine."

"Ezio, your leg hasn't stopped moving in probably ten minutes," Drake said blandly, pointing at Ezio's leg.

The black-haired man looked over at his leg. It was, indeed, jittering. Wordlessly, Ezio put his leg down. "Sorry about that," he said.

"That's not why I said something," Drake replied. "What's wrong?"

And, as usual, there were too many problems for Ezio to keep track of. He didn't know where to begin explaining anything in his head, what he should explain in the first place. Maybe it'd be best to simply keep it all to himself, like he always did. The nervous energy did need somewhere to go, however, and maybe the easiest way of giving it an outlet was to talk about it.

Ezio didn't know what, exactly, was bothering him this time, though. It could be a combination of several things, rather than one in particular. He wasn't sure what to say.

"I don't know," Ezio said, completely honestly. Obviously, _something_ was, though.

A flash of blond hair and blood flickered through his mind. Ah, no. Now that he was thinking about it, he knew what was wrong. It was probably the same thing that had made him dive head-first into anything _but_ thinking about that.

Ezio blinked, head tilting down slightly. It felt like a personal failure that he wasn't over it, this long after. He still had nightmares about it, like some kind of stupid child that couldn't let go of anything.

He didn't want to think about it. He certainly didn't want to admit it to Drake. "Nothing," Ezio decided to say, instead.

Drake frowned. He knew better than to take Ezio's 'nothing' statements at face value. They more or less _never_ meant nothing. More likely, it was something that Ezio didn't want to face or deal with, or didn't know how to. The problem was, avoiding something generally didn't _solve_ it. Drake didn't want to push. But if he didn't, it was very likely that Ezio would destroy himself with it, whatever it was. On the other hand, if he pushed too far too quickly, Ezio would just shut him out. He did know how to, unfortunately, but there wasn't anything for it.

"Are you sure?" Drake asked.

"Of course," Ezio answered, without thinking. Of course it was nothing.

"You're lying," Drake said softly. "I can smell it."

Ezio sighed, closing the book he'd been trying to read. "You know, that's just a _little_ bit creepy."

Drake snorted. "I can't control it," he said. "What's wrong? I don't want to push you, Ezio, I really don't, but you can't keep doing this to yourself."

"Doing what?" Ezio asked.

"Holding onto it only hurts you in the end," Drake said. "I want to help. Let me help you."

Drake had only been doing that helping him thing for far too long, if one asked Ezio. No one had, but still, he thought it. It was always Ezio that needed Drake, not the other way around, and at this rate, maybe it'd always be that way.

"It's nothing," Ezio repeated. "You don't have to worry about it."

"I think I do," Drake said calmly. "You're jittering, picking at your nails, you wake up screaming sometimes, Ezio, look, it is okay not to be okay."

Was it? Ezio didn't know how to not be okay. He didn't have a choice back then, and maybe he had one now, but the habit was hard to kill. Things were hard enough without him breaking apart at every turn, he certainly didn't need to make it worse. All the same, bottling it didn't make anything better, either. Sooner or later, he'd explode, just like a lot of things did under pressure.

He'd thought he should work on this talking thing, but there were some things that were still too raw, too close to his heart, for him to easily talk about. Being the strong one would always be his first instinct.

His body had decided he was weak in other ways, and he couldn't stop it. But this, though, he could control.

He shook his head. If he wasn't okay, then what was he? That wasn't something he wanted to bother thinking about and wading through, not now. Sometimes, if he tried hard enough, he could almost convince _himself_ that he was okay. So what if it wasn't viable in the long term? He didn't have a long term, anyway.

It was so hard to switch his thinking.

"If I'm not okay, I don't know what that means," Ezio said. "And I don't think I'm ready to figure it out."

Drake sighed. It seemed to him that Ezio was figuring it out, a little at a time. But sometimes, it was a lot easier to go along with something, than it was to explain that it was wrong. Instead, Drake stood up, holding his hand out.

Ezio looked up at him in confusion. Drake moved his hand a little closer, and finally, Ezio reached up and took the hand Drake had offered. Gently, Drake pulled Ezio up onto his feet, and loosely wrapped his arms around him, in case Ezio decided that he didn't want the contact.

Ezio tensed up, slightly, at first. And then he released a breath, relaxed slightly into Drake's arms, and returned the embrace.

Slowly, steadily, Ezio relaxed. The knot in his chest that had started to twist up began to loosen. Somehow, it did help. Drake had a way of making everything seem okay, even when it felt like Ezio's whole world was falling apart.

* * *

"Jackson sure went away quickly, didn't he?" L said.

Drake simply glanced at her, and shrugged one shoulder. L was awfully nosy sometimes, when she got it in mind that she needed to know something. Simultaneously, she seemed to simply _know_ things more times than Drake was comfortable with. Of course, it always seemed to be _intuition_ more than simply knowing things. Drake tried not to think about it, so technically, he could be wrong, he supposed.

L was an interesting person, and by interesting, Drake meant that he never understood her. She was just as chaotic, sometimes, as Morgyn. They _were_ chaotic in different ways, ways that Drake couldn't easily put words to. Ultimately, he let that train of thought go. It didn't matter, he supposed.

Of course, by now, he'd learnt that L never came up with anything _out of the blue_ like it so often seemed she did. Likely, whatever she said, they were ideas that had been bouncing around in her head for a long time before she spoke them. L was kind of as an iceberg to him. She seemed small, and shallow on the surface, but there was a _lot_ hiding below that surface.

"I suppose so," Drake said. He was putting books back onto the shelves. (Ezio didn't have to anymore not because everyone suddenly remembered to do it on their own.)

"That was awfully noncommittal," L said. "It's no secret you were never fond of Jackson. Or _anyone_ Ezio has ever dated."

Drake wasn't _that_ obvious, was he? Maybe he was. The vampire shrugged. "Jackson had issues, and that's all."

"You can't convince me with that," L said, sounding amused. "What really happened there?"

If he didn't tell her, Drake was _quite_ sure she'd never let it go. L didn't have friends or anything. Come to think, she never seemed to go anywhere, either. Drake wondered about that from time to time, but he figured it wasn't really his concern. If one of the sages wanted to live here permanently, then who was he to say she was wrong to do so?

However, neither did he want to discuss this with _her_ of all people. That was, perhaps, a little unfair. She'd never been terribly unkind to him, despite being rather unkind to almost everyone else.

"I may have threatened to kill him," Drake said absently, kind of hoping she didn't notice what he had said.

L, unfortunately, did notice, and laughed. "I'm sorry, did you say _you_ threatened to kill him?" she asked.

Drake simply gave her a withering look in response.

Strangely, L sobered up. He was _serious_. That was almost too much. In hindsight, however, L understood why. If her hunch was correct, Jackson was hurting Ezio. Love made people do some quite stupid things. Threatening to kill someone was so high up the list of possible reactions to something like that, it was almost strange L hadn't seen this coming.

"I see," L said. "I'll keep an eye out and help make sure he doesn't come back, then."

Drake nodded once. "Thank you." She didn't have to help, and he appreciated the assist. It wasn't as if Drake trusted _Ezio_ to tell him if he'd come across Jackson. Perhaps Morgyn might, but Morgyn didn't always know, either.

"You really do love him, don't you?" L asked, her tone soft.

Drake snorted. Of course he did. Drake probably loved Ezio more than was logical, in ways that he shouldn't. Truth be told, Drake hadn't focused too much on his convoluted feelings for Ezio, because things were difficult enough for them both. Drake didn't need to go complicating their lives, and making Ezio deal with yet one more thing that he couldn't handle. It wasn't the thing itself, perhaps. It was the combination of everything put together. Very easily, one more small thing could be the tipping point, the thing that threw everything else out of balance. Drake didn't want to do that to Ezio.

"It doesn't matter," Drake answered. "He deserves better, and I'm not better, it's that simple."

L snorted, rather loudly and derisively. Sometimes, Drake thought maybe _she_ wasn't entirely female, either. She had some weirdly masculine mannerisms sometimes. "Here's a question for you," L said. "Have you ever asked _Ezio_ if he thinks you're not better?"

Drake blinked. "Why would I do that?" That would require informing Ezio that Drake loved him in the first place, which, as he'd just established, was a bad idea.

L sighed, loudly. "Sometimes, Drake, we don't _want_ better," she said. "We want a specific person. Better and good enough have no meaning in things like this, because those are subjective things that hold very little weight. Have you asked him what he wants?"

Drake's gaze cast to the floor. He stayed silent.

L took a drink of tea, leaning against the kitchen counter as she was. Then, she set her teacup back down on the counter, and crossed her arms. "You may be surprised," L said. "But don't take away his voice because you're afraid of what that voice might say."

"I've already accepted that he likely doesn't feel the same," Drake said, his tone wry.

"That's not what I meant," L said.

"Then what did you mean?" Drake asked.

"I meant, that you're afraid of what it means if he _does_ feel the same," L explained. "Like this, you can go on with nothing changing too drastically, with things exactly the way they are. It's an easy existence, being his friend and nothing more. If he feels the same, however, then you have to decide if the risk of it driving you apart is worth the opportunity to become more. The interesting thing in all of this is that you two already function as if you were married. You always have. You fill a role and are someone that no one else can fill or be. You mean things to him that no one else ever will, not even Morgyn. And I think that scares you, as much as you enjoy it, too."

Drake frowned. Sometimes, L was a little bit _too_ perceptive.

L picked up her tea, raising her eyebrows in a pointed manner. "Don't invalidate what Ezio may want simply because it is easier that you remain not good enough."

Drake didn't say anything, simply watched her walk away in silence. His eyes cast to the floor, and he wondered when he became so easy to read.

* * *

Morgyn had wanted him around, in case the blond needed his help. So far, however, Ezio didn't see a reason for him to be present. Morgyn was working with Elise quite fine without him. Incidentally, better than he would, right now. There was still all of that energy burning like fire just under his skin, like something he couldn't get out of him, nervous energy with nowhere to go.

When Jackson first said it, that the anger had nowhere else to go but at him, Ezio didn't understand. There were plenty of other things to direct anger towards, plenty of ways to express and burn off that anger, he'd thought. Ezio could have learnt to bear it, because that was a weight that was there because of him. The least, he figured, he could do, was help Jackson stay standing under it.

And when the pain in his own heart fused with the lingering threads of anger and resentment he still carried, the result was something that he still didn't quite understand, but was much closer to understanding.

The nervous energy finally came out. He stood up, slammed a foot down on the balcony floor, and sent ice _everywhere_. Elise squealed and slipped, hitting the ice. "What the…"

"Ezio?" Morgyn asked, one hand reaching for him.

He snarled in response, pulling one hand up, balling it into a fist, and shattering the ice. That hand then swept at the air and threw all of the shards at Morgyn.

Morgyn's eyes widened. "Ezio, what the fuck!" the blond squawked, darting behind one of the cauldrons, and pulling Elise along.

"Fight _back_ ," Ezio said, through clenched teeth.

"No," Morgyn answered.

"Fight back, or I give you no choice," Ezio said.

Ezio would, too. Morgyn frowned, thinking. If the blond refused to stand and face him, then there was a fairly good chance that he would end up catching Elise up in this mess. After a moment of deliberating, the blond turned to Elise. "Stay here," Morgyn said.

"Okay," Elise answered.

The blond stood up. "Are you sure you don't want to talk?" Morgyn asked.

"There's nothing to talk about," Ezio answered. He didn't even know what he was so _angry_ for, he just knew he was and he really wanted to freeze Morgyn to a wall.

"Duelling grounds," Morgyn said, and then raised an arm and disappeared.

Ezio's eyes narrowed, and then he too, raised an arm and disappeared, reappearing not far from Morgyn. It took only a moment's hesitation, and the Ezio twisted around and threw a barrage of ice crystals. "Fight me like you mean it!" he hissed.

Morgyn's eyes widened again, and the blond disappeared with a slight _pop_. A moment later, the blond reappeared across the grounds. "I always do!" Morgyn said. One arm shot out, firing a blast of flame. Inferniate tended to be stronger for Morgyn, and unfortunately, Morgyn had a habit of trying to overwhelm opponents, rather than using a notable sort of strategy. It had always worked before, however, and Morgyn had no reason to change anything.

Ezio frowned; it was just like Morgyn to try that sort of thing. He reached downward, towards the ground, with both arms, and yanked upward. A wall of ice rose between them, thick enough to block the Inferniate blast. Ezio then punched at the air; the ice wall shattered into another barrage of icicles, and then Ezio disappeared, reappearing behind Morgyn. Lazily, Ezio threw a bolt of lightning.

Just in time, Morgyn disappeared, too. The icicles and the lightning crashed into one another, and Morgyn reappeared behind Ezio. "Ezio, please, I don't want to fight you, not like this." He wasn't being as careful as he usually was. Morgyn could see the rage in the lines of his body, but didn't understand why it was there. Who said what? It didn't matter - quickly, Morgyn threw a streak of purple energy.

Ezio grunted in annoyance, raising a hand and firing another stream of energy in response. The two streams locked together, neither overpowering the other.

"You're such a chaotic, destructive personality _anyway_ ," Ezio said. "You're enjoying this and you and I both know it." Ezio didn't imagine that would be different merely because it was _Ezio_ on the other end. The blond always did seem to enjoy their sparring sessions.

"You're my _brother_ you idiot!" Morgyn answered. "I don't want to hurt you! And you can't duel very long anyway, you're going to have to slow down eventually!"

"We'll see about that!" Ezio replied. The energy streams buzzed and hissed, and suddenly grew too much for either to handle. The streams exploded where they met, throwing both Embers in opposite directions. Morgyn flew right off the island. Ezio went hurtling towards the cherry tree, but disappeared just before he could hit it.

Just as Ezio reappeared, Morgyn popped back up not far away. It seemed they thought a lot alike, teleporting to the same place like that. Ezio snorted slightly, throwing an arm out and tossing an ice bolt.

Morgyn loosed a surprised squeal, dropping under the ice bolt as it shot across the grounds to embed in a tree. Morgyn looked up at him, and then green eyes narrowed, and Morgyn reached up, aiming at Ezio's nose, and shot a jet of fire.

Ezio noted the movement, and then disappeared, popping up behind Morgyn and slamming one foot down onto the stone. Ice shot up under Morgyn, throwing the blond across the grounds again. Morgyn hit the cherry tree Ezio had almost hit, and then crashed into the dirt.

This was almost ridiculous. They were relatively evenly matched, and neither of them was going to win this, most likely. Still, that wasn't the point. Winning was never the point. Maybe for Morgyn it was.

Morgyn sat up, eventually pushing up off the grass. The sage needed a plan, because Ezio was stronger, overall, and smarter, and Morgyn knew better than to think the blond could hold much of a candle to him. With neither of them able to gain a notable upper hand, they'd simply go on forever, until one or the other of them burnt out, and unfortunately, Morgyn thought it'd be Ezio that did first. Morgyn didn't want to find out the hard way those little pills of his couldn't handle this.

"Ezio, there's no sense in this," Morgyn said. "Just calm down and we'll talk it out."

Ezio rolled his eyes. "The point isn't _winning_ ," he said, and then slammed his boot into the stone. Ice shot across the grounds towards the tree, and then burst upward into spikes.

Morgyn's teeth ground together, and the blond stood up and disappeared. With all this teleporting all over the place, they were liable to both end up with a constant sense of vertigo. Maybe the only way of getting Ezio to stop this was going to be giving him no choice. Morgyn frowned, but threw out an arm, and a magical chain went out with it.

A startled blink answered. Ezio wasn't expecting a binding spell. He glared for a moment, and then reached up, grabbing said chain, and shot ice up the links and Morgyn's arm. The blond gasped and squeaked in surprise as the ice spread up towards Morgyn's shoulder.

"You're gonna have to do better than this," Ezio said. "I said fight me with everything you've got." Ezio yanked on the chain, pulling it to the side. Morgyn went with it, but the blond kicked off the cobblestone, raised an arm, and as Morgyn came down, the sage released an electrical charge.

That was almost clever, Ezio thought. Morgyn _was_ smarter than this, and liked to pretend otherwise. But it was easier that way, because then no one had expectations, and Ezio knew that expectations were at times a crushing, weighty reality. Ezio couldn't quite move out of the way of that; barely, it hit him, just enough to send one arm into a spasmodic fit for a second.

Morgyn realised, about there, as Ezio's teeth grit together and he slid backward on the stone, what the blond had unleashed. Morgyn almost went to apologise, but a large ice spike killed the words before they'd left Morgyn's throat.

The longer they went on, though, the less anger there was in Ezio's body. It was helping him start _thinking_ again. Yes, Morgyn had been this angry before, a few times, too. The blond frowned, but raised a hand and threw an energy bolt, dicing the ice spike in half. Either half of the spike crashed behind the blond, and Morgyn called a burst of fire where Ezio stood. The black-haired caster twisted out of the way, and Morgyn followed him across the stone. Ezio narrowly missed one, jerking his arm away from it as it shot upward.

Strangely, Ezio threw a burst of flame of his own, but at the _ground_. It was too late. By the time Morgyn realised what Ezio was doing, the blond had slammed into the stone under them and slid a few feet. For a moment, Morgyn's head went blank from the pain, and then the sage's teeth ground together, and Morgyn's hands wrapped around Ezio's wrist and shot off another electrical discharge.

It didn't last long, but long enough; Ezio jerked backward as soon as the charge had stopped and his muscles unlocked. Ezio waved a hand, aiming upward. A circle of ice formed under Morgyn. The blond barely had enough time to release a gasp, as the ice rocketed upward towards the sky and formed a solid pillar of ice around the sage.

Encased in the pillar, both of Morgyn's hands began to glow, as did the crystal around the sage's neck. The pillar exploded outward, and Morgyn stepped out of its remnants, immediately throwing a stream of flame in Ezio's direction.

Ezio returned fire with an energy bolt. It crashed into the flame, both exploding. And then Ezio threw a rapid-fire volley of energy bolts. Maybe one of them would hit.

Morgyn stepped backward, raising an energy shield, blocking most of the bolts. Some of them spun off in random directions, destroying the nearby scenery. The blond then threw one energy bolt back, and then a streaking arc of lightning.

The energy bolt met another of Ezio's, the two exploding. The lightning came from behind it, and Ezio disappeared in a burst of light, and reappeared behind Morgyn. Ezio then raised a boot and kicked the back of Morgyn's legs.

The blond almost immediately dropped. And stayed down. The exhaustion, now that Morgyn was down, began to set in. Ezio put up more of a fight, and gave Morgyn more trouble, than the blond was expecting.

As Ezio stood over Morgyn, he blinked once, and then released a sigh. He was angry at _himself_ , it turned out, and that shouldn't have been surprising. For reaching a point where he had no choice but to kill his twin. But it wasn't as if he had a choice. It was either that, or watch Morgyn suffer and die, and not be able to fix it.

With a death that violent, Morgyn's ghost would've been next to _impossible_ to reason with, and Ezio would've likely ended up dealing with something he didn't think he could deal with. Reasoning with the spiritual monster that his twin had become while also trying to deal with his own grief and pain would _not_ have ended well.

It was a completely necessary choice. And Ezio felt like a monster for making it, no matter how good his intentions had been, even as the memory of making it hurt him.

Ezio didn't attack again. Morgyn glanced up at him. "What was that?" the blond asked.

For a moment, Ezio considered explaining. He decided he didn't want to. "It was nothing," he said.

"You _froze_ me," Morgyn said, voice raising, standing up. "I think that's a little _beyond_ being nothing!"

"Just let it go, Morgyn," Ezio replied, turning and heading for the portal that led back down. He was winded, and needed to sit down.

"Ezio, obviously it's important," Morgyn said, following after him. "Please, let me in."

"I said it's _nothing_!" Ezio hissed. Ice crackled under his feet, and then shot across the island, encasing all of it in ice.

Morgyn sucked a breath in, coming to a stop. Ezio also slowed to a stop. For a moment, neither said anything, surveying the ice. It wasn't perfectly clear by any means, but it was thick, and vapour rose from it.

"Ezio," Morgyn started, "you're a _lot_ more powerful than I thought you were."

Ezio snorted softly. "No, I'm not," he said, and headed for the portal.


	18. Wolf Blood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Three chapters left until 22~ I'm so excited!  
> Yeah, sorry, I really kind of suck at action/combat scenes, so, I'm terribly sorry you guys keep having to read them. This should be the last one in TML, at least.  
> We're getting very close to the start of TMA, I can't wait. I was a very mean Watcher today, and I froze everyone's needs bars with MCCC and made them experiment at the cauldron constantly to raise their spellcasting XP where it's supposed to be. ... which is hilarious because I could've just used MCCC to level them, but ayyyyye.  
> Wolf Blood, Adrian Von Ziegler. This is Ezio's battle theme. Btw, check out Peter Crowley's version, it's brassier and more battle-y. Someone else also remixed them both together, that is also epic af.

Gently, Ezio set his teacup down at the table. In the kitchen, Drake was washing the dishes, and Morgyn was most likely picking back up with Elise (and apologising incessantly). Ezio had decided to keep to himself, for at least a little while. The anger was still there, and likely, it'd stay there. He knew that Morgyn was right, and holding onto it was a rather silly thing to do. There was no point in holding onto it.

But there were times when it felt like the only thing keeping Ezio moving was his own rage. Even as he knew it wasn't ideal a solution, it was the only solution he had, sometimes. And maybe that was partially his own fault, but it was what it was. Maybe he was still at the point where moving, no matter how or why, was the important part. He could figure out the semantics of how he kept himself moving later, when just getting up and doing anything wasn't so difficult anymore.

These days, his motivation was primarily aimed at finding this Kat Cave person. Ezio didn't care why, quite bluntly, Kat had killed Morgyn. All he needed to know was she had, and Ezio wouldn't have _been_ in a position to have to 'fix' it by killing Morgyn in the first place if it weren't for whatever Kat wanted. More accurately, if Lilith was to be believed and Ezio had never had a reason to doubt her, whatever Kat's puppet-master wanted.

Unfortunately, if someone was using necromancy in a way it shouldn't be used, that meant this was _his_ problem, and whether he liked it or not, he'd get dragged into it sooner or later, even if it wasn't now.

Turning the anger internally wasn't going to solve anything. It was debatable whether turning it on Kat Cave, who was liable to be just as much unfortunately dragged into this as they were, would fix anything either, but it was better than any other idea Ezio had so far. If nothing else, _someone_ needed to figure out what was going on. Someone playing with the balance between the spellcasters and the vampires was dangerous to leave alone.

Something crashed in the kitchen. Under his breath, Ezio could hear Drake curse. Ezio sighed. It seemed, first of all, he'd need to figure out what was wrong with Drake. The vampire rarely ever got this upset. Ezio thought he knew, most likely, what it was that he was upset about, but the point, sometimes, wasn't _knowing_ what was wrong. It was talking about it.

"Are you okay over there?" Ezio asked.

"I'm _fine_ ," Drake said, but it certainly didn't sound that way.

Ezio decided not to argue with him about his own feelings. Instead, he shrugged, and went back to the book he was reading. It was one of those Norse mythology books he had lying around. One way or another, he was going to figure out what a vanir is, and what it has to do with any of them.

Before he could get too absorbed in the book, however, there was a slight clanking sound. "You did it again," Drake said, softly.

Ezio looked up at him, confused. "Did what?" he asked.

"You promised me you wouldn't," Drake answered, turning around. "You used to do it all the time, because it was the only way to temper Morgyn's anger sometimes, and you were the only one that could handle the force of Morgyn's rage. I accepted it then because it really was the easiest thing to do when Morgyn was angry, and it wasn't hurting anything. And then it nearly killed you one day."

Oh. _That_. Ezio had nearly forgotten that day. That was the last time Ezio had ever gotten into a duel with someone else, until yesterday.

"You _promised_ you'd never do that again," Drake said.

Ezio's gaze fell to the table, for a moment. "What I _promised_ was," Ezio said, "that I wouldn't hurt myself like that again. I'm not stuck in bed right now. Everything's fine."

Drake stared at him, for a moment, and then slammed the cabinet door closed. "That's debatable," he said.

"I feel fine," Ezio answered. "I mean maybe I took a risk, but it's not like it was random or I didn't think about it."

"Really?" Drake asked. "From what Morgyn tells me, you practically lunged out of nowhere, with no warning. That doesn't sound like you thought about it."

Ezio sighed, closing the book and setting it down on the table. "What do you want me to tell you?" he asked. "I'm fine enough to be having this conversation with you. I didn't hurt Morgyn too much, even didn't manage to hurt Elise much either. The exercise was probably good for us both. I can't think of a single way it didn't turn out okay."

"Forget it," Drake said, closing one of the drawers, and walking away.

Ezio released another sigh. It wasn't like Ezio could say that he was never going to do that again. The fact of the matter was, he probably would, someday, because he _could_ handle it now, and Morgyn was… Morgyn, never mind his own anger issues. He'd never admit to having those, of course, but he did. Anyone that knew either of the Embers could likely guess as much.

And for just a moment, Ezio wondered why it mattered. He wondered why this kind of thing was so distressing for Drake that he'd get so snappy like that. Drake never got snappy at him. Then, he remembered what Morgyn had almost said, some time ago, when the blond had insisted that Drake already loved him back. The idea was difficult to fathom, but if that _was_ where all this was coming from…

Ezio couldn't say it was impossible. Actually, he supposed if anyone was going to fall in love with his dumb ass, it'd be his best friend. Morgyn was right. Drake was in love with him.

* * *

"I haven't worn that since the sixties," Ezio said.

Morgyn laughed, setting the shirt in the blond's hands down on the floor. "I remember the last time you wore it," Morgyn said. "It's hard to believe that was so long ago."

"Yeah," Ezio said. "Feels like it was a few days ago, sometimes. Other times, it feels like a lifetime ago."

Morgyn smiled slightly, and then started folding the pile of clothing on the floor. They were going through Ezio's clothes, and he was being kind enough to give some away to Morgyn. A lot of things didn't fit him anymore, anyway. If Morgyn wanted something that wasn't frilly and overly feminine to wear, Ezio's clothing was a decent place to start.

It wasn't like Morgyn _didn't_ have money. The sage could simply run off and _buy_ new clothes. The blond simply didn't want to explain where the money had come from just yet.

"I'm still not sure about just taking your clothes like this," Morgyn said.

Ezio snorted. "Hey, it's not like I'm wearing them. My fashion sense has changed a little."

"I've noticed," Morgyn said, giving him a rather pointed look and glancing at his lips. Today, thanks to him borrowing Lilith's lipstick, they were painted black.

Ezio went quiet. "You're discovering who you are," he said. "And so am I."

Morgyn smiled. "Yeah, I've noticed." The blond went quiet for a moment, and then said, "you look nice by the way."

"Thank you," Ezio answered. "You do too, for what it's worth."

"Is this ever going to stop being weird?" Morgyn asked.

Ezio shrugged. "Someday," he said. "When we've figured everything out and sorted through how we feel, and life makes sense again."

"It feels like that time will never come," Morgyn said.

Ezio could certainly understand that feeling. Emotions were difficult to begin with, and something like what Morgyn was dealing with would be somewhat confusing. It was all more complicated than it needed to be, but it was good that Morgyn wasn't trying to run from it, like the blond had been doing ever since France.

Most of it was Aine's fault. Ezio believed that if Morgyn hadn't ever tried adopting Aine as a parental figure, the blond wouldn't have suppressed the Morgyn that wasn't male or female, and wouldn't have lived a lie for so long. It was what it was, Ezio supposed, because there was no changing anything. Things had turned out the way they'd turned out.

Ezio was just glad that Aine was gone now, and Morgyn could _think_ now.

"You can have this, too," Ezio said, handing Morgyn one of the jackets on the bed. "I haven't worn this since 1942."

Morgyn laughed, adding it to the pile of clothing the blond was taking. "You know," Morgyn said, "you're the only one that understands, besides L."

Was he? Ezio thought others might understand too, if they bothered to try. Morgyn also couldn't _possibly_ be the only person to have ever felt the way Morgyn did. There had to be others with similar ideas and feelings out there. _Finding_ those people might be a little more difficult, but if anyone could do it, Ezio believed it'd be Morgyn. The blond was magnetic, had the sort of personality that others were drawn to without understanding why they were. That was one of Morgyn's super-powers.

Ezio didn't feel like he had any super-powers of his own. He was just really terrible at paying attention to his own limits. Strangely, though, he also found that, if he really believed, there was very little he couldn't do. He supposed that might be a super-power.

"It's not like I understand," Ezio said. "It's just that, I want you to be whatever it is you need to be, and I don't want to be in the way of you being whatever that is. I don't have to understand how you feel. I just have to accept Morgyn, whoever that may be."

Morgyn didn't answer right away, folding clothes in silence instead. "You've always been like that," the blond eventually said. "You don't question _anything_ , you just roll with it. I've never understood why."

Ezio smiled. "I've always known that to be what it means to love someone."

Morgyn smiled back, slightly.

Ezio scooted across the bed, reaching down to take Morgyn's hands in his. "I'll never tell you you're wrong, you know?" he said. "If you believe in something, then I'll believe in it too. Even if it sounds like the dumbest idea I've ever heard in my _life_ , I will _always_ support you. I'll always be here for you, in any way I can, for as long as I can."

Morgyn looked down at their joined hands, and squeezed slightly. "Ezio, I know you probably don't want to hear this," the blond said, "but, I want to be here for you, too. I can't do that, if you won't let me."

Ezio sighed. "My problems aren't your -"

"Aren't they?" Morgyn interrupted. "You're my brother, my _twin_ , and I care about you. You're my best friend. I don't like to see you hurting. It hurts me, too. To see and know that you are in pain and not be able to do anything about it, it hurts you too, doesn't it, when it's me?" Morgyn's head shook slightly, gaze casting downward again. "I know it won't be easy. I know it'll take some time, before you stop shutting me out instinctively. I know. But I want to get there. I want to get to the day where you can talk to me without lying or pretending things are okay. I can be patient with you. I need you to be patient with yourself, too."

Ezio looked away. It always felt like a waste of time, trying to fight his instincts, because those instincts had served him well thus far, and maybe the effort simply wasn't worth it. Ezio didn't know what the right answer was. He sighed quietly, looking back up and meeting Morgyn's eyes.

"I know," he said. "I don't know how to be. I remember to fight it and talk for a day or two, and then I go right back to burying it all, and it feels like a waste of time and effort. I hate it. I know what you mean, when you tell me it hurts you, but I don't know how to stop."

Morgyn smiled, sitting up and hugging him. "You stop a day at a time," Morgyn said. "And sometimes you'll mess up, but you're only human. Let yourself be human."

* * *

Eventually, Ezio had learnt that he needed to stretch out first, _before_ practising martial arts for the day. It was much easier on him, and served as a proper reminder to his body that it _did_ know what it was doing. He took it slow, much slower than was probably necessary, but if it kept him from hurting himself, he figured that was for the best.

Ezio didn't _feel_ stronger, not in the traditional sense. What he felt like was _normal_ , and that in and of itself was a strange thing to realise. He hadn't felt normal in… well, in a very long time. He supposed the semantics didn't matter. The point was that he felt normal for the first time in a long time, and it was strange to get used to.

It was ridiculously early in the morning, as always it was when he woke up. Ezio had been a morning person for most of his life; there was a lot of work to be done on a farm, and the earlier you got to it, the earlier you could be done with it. Of course, it usually took until the end of the day to be done with it, even with him starting at five in the morning, before the sun was even up.

Here he was, nearly three centuries later, and he still woke up at the ass-crack of fuck that.

He was reaching the point in this particular set where Ezio didn't have to _think_ about it to do it. His body just knew what to do, and it did it on its own. It was almost a mindless task, something he didn't need to think about, but that wasn't quite right. He was thinking about it, just perhaps not entirely consciously. Ah, that was a strange phenomena to make sense of, even only in his own mind.

Ezio felt it again, though. Barely, in his subconscious, he registered the feeling of being watched. Ezio slowed to a stop, and out of the corner of his eye, he saw it. It was gone quicker than he could reach his notepad, however, and was gone. Every time he saw that thing, he wondered what the hell it was even more than he was wondering before. Someday, he'd figure that thing out.

As he gazed at the sky after the cluster of stars, he noticed Drake off to the side. Considering how their last conversation had gone, Ezio didn't think it was a good idea to talk to him. Instead, Ezio turned back around, and went back to his place. If nothing else, his legs could use stretching out. The same as he'd been doing so far, he wore thick eyeliner today, his lips blackened. No one said anything about _that_ , either, barring that momentary mention Morgyn had made. At this point, Ezio was just _confused_.

Instead of worrying about it too much, though, he decided to simply go with it. As he reached towards his toes, Drake fidgeted slightly.

"Doesn't this bother you?" he asked.

Ezio glanced at him. "The exercise?" he asked.

"Yeah," Drake replied.

"It did at first," Ezio answered. "I think my body had to remember it has muscles for a reason, which is a strange thing for it to need to remember, I guess."

"You'd figure it'd know that on its own," Drake said.

"You'd apparently be very wrong," Ezio answered, snorting softly.

The two of them fell quiet. Drake settled down in the grass after a moment or two. Ezio had been expecting this to be a little more awkward than it was, but he supposed, no matter how much they bickered, in the end, it hardly meant anything.

It didn't invalidate Drake's concerns, though.

"I can't tell you I won't ever do that again," Ezio said. He could worry about what to do with the knowledge that Drake was _probably_ in love with him _later_.

Drake sighed. "I know," he said. "You kind of lose your sense when it comes to Morgyn."

"Actually, that was my own anger," Ezio said.

Drake looked surprised. "Was it?"

Ezio slowed to a stop, standing up. "It turns out I was angry with myself," he explained. "For reaching a point where I had no choice but to kill Morgyn."

"Ezio, that wasn't your fault," Drake argued.

"I know that," Ezio answered. "It doesn't make it any easier."

Drake went quiet, drawing a breath in. He moved up onto his knees, scuttling over closer to Ezio, and sat back down. "Is that what the nightmares are about?" he asked.

Ezio nodded mutely. Of course, the more times he woke up with the impression of how much darker Morgyn's blood was compared to the shirt the blond had been wearing, the less it bothered him. Either that, or he was shutting down on it. That was always what he did, when he couldn't deal with something. He cut it out, and smothered it until it didn't make noise anymore.

He wasn't proud of the choices he'd had to make, or the way he'd had to live. But he'd survived. You did what you had to, to survive.

"You know," Drake said quietly, "I think I'd be more worried about you, if killing Morgyn didn't bother you in the slightest."

Ezio glanced at him, one eyebrow arched upward.

"Morgyn means the world to you," Drake said, shrugging. "Anyone that knows anything about you two knows that. Even if you _knew_ that you could bring Morgyn right back, I imagine it'd still hurt, it'd still be upsetting. And if it wasn't, that can't mean anything very good."

Ezio supposed that was true enough. He didn't like to think about it, even as he was using the anger that he felt over it as a driving force for finding that stupid vampire. He had no idea where to begin still. But he thought, _maybe_ , Forgotten Hollow may be a good place to start. And from there, he may get lucky and be able to figure out where she was, and ruin her day.

Or at least, that was what he figured he'd do, in his head. Even Ezio sometimes had rather grand delusions, apparently. No, more likely, he'd do nothing at all, except live his life, and maybe, someday, he'd let it go.

"I know you're after her," Drake said. "The vampire that killed Morgyn, I mean. I know you are. I won't ask you not to, that wouldn't be very fair. I know some part of you needs to. But please, _please_ , Ezio, try and come home."

* * *

By now, he knew where he was going. The snow had fallen on the world like a cold blanket, but Ezio barely felt it, as he made his way through the streets. He knew the way back to Glimmerbrook from his doctor's office like he knew the back of his hand, by now. He had a thousand things to do today. The mystery book had told him a little more about the ocean of stars, but it didn't quite make sense yet. From the ocean came souls. Everyone had a little bit of the substance that was also born of the ocean in their hearts.

But what was it? That Ezio didn't know, just yet. He was, however, determined to find out.

As he walked, he slowed down somewhat, watching the snowflakes come down from the sky. Each one was in a different pattern. There were, theoretically, no two snowflakes that were exactly alike. Ice was a beautiful, and strange, thing, even Ezio didn't fully understand it and how it worked, or how exactly it could end up with so many different variations of the same thing. Snowflakes were tragic, as well. They were created uniquely and died alone a short time later.

Everything in this life was so fleeting, but it seemed like the inability to hold onto anything was what brought people together.

He could hear, somewhat distantly, the sounds of children screeching in elation. Ezio smiled to himself, and then decided to follow the sound of their playing. He ended up winding around building blocks in a nonsensical manner, it felt like, but the sounds grew louder. Ezio turned a corner, and found the source; there were quite a few children playing with a jungle gym in the shape of a boat. Ezio could see an older kid pretending to be some kind of a sea monster.

He smiled, settling down on a bench to watch them.

Ezio used to want children. That had changed, when his heart started acting up. Even if he simply adopted instead of having his own children, there was still the issue of whether or not he could keep up with a child. They tended to have a lot more energy than Ezio did these days. He'd hate to ask someone else to help him, but he knew that he'd need it. Morgyn likely wouldn't mind helping out, but the blond was one of the sages, and had more important things to deal with.

If he wasn't sure he could handle it, Ezio didn't think he had any right to try anyway.

For now, though, he supposed it wouldn't hurt to come by here from time to time and watch the kids. Most of the time, his memories of France were vague, dim, and fuzzy, but once in a while, he could remember something from that time rather clearly. He distinctly remembered climbing a tree as a teen, and Morgyn attempting to do the same thing, only to fall out of it. Ezio never did climb another tree again, after that one.

He glanced at one of the nearby trees. Looking at it, he could think of how to climb it, several different ways. And then, his gaze fell to the snow on the ground, and he turned back to watching the children. Maybe he _could_ handle it, now, climbing a tree. But he hadn't done it in so long, it'd be just his luck to get part way up the tree, and fall out of it. Then, he'd have to explain to Morgyn and Drake that he'd just _fallen out of a tree_ like he was ten.

The kids ran around screaming, playing a game of tag, it looked like. Ezio watched them run around, smiling softly. Some of the kids were building snowpals and making snow angels together. The world was a much simpler thing when you were a child, or at least it should be. Ezio kind of missed those simpler times, but there were some bonuses to being an adult, too. Not nearly enough bonuses, if one was asking him.

As he watched them, though, he felt someone watching him. No, come to think of it, he'd been feeling that since he'd come out of Dr. Sommer's office, it simply hadn't registered. Ezio glanced around, trying to find who, or what, was watching him without being too obvious about the interest. He couldn't find them, however. They were hiding rather well.

Then, he noticed what _else_ he sensed, and that was _vampire_.

Ezio stood up, then, turning on the balls of his feet and walking somewhere else. It didn't matter where else he went, he simply needed to go anywhere else but here. If he ended up in a fight with a vampire, he didn't want to do so anywhere near the kids. He wasn't sure where else to go, honestly. His understanding of where anything was in San Myshuno was rather slim, but he supposed he could just go in a random direction. All that mattered was that he was away from this area. Preferably, he'd be far away from other people in general before the vampire came out of hiding.

What he didn't know was if the vampire was going to follow him. Just because said vampire had been after Morgyn, it didn't mean she'd be after him, too. As he thought that, however, he could sense the vampire moving, and following him.

He supposed it was time to put some of that anger to good use, then.

* * *

It didn't take long to find somewhere relatively secluded. Ezio had somehow managed to turn down relatively abandoned streets and lead away from where most of the other people were. If any of those still in vicinity of him and this vampire had any sense, they'd scatter, too. He'd done what he could for them. The rest was up to them.

As soon as he came to a stop, however, he barely had any time to turn around before the vampire stepped out of the shadows. She cackled in a very unnerving manner, her hands balled into fists, eyes wild.

"Where is it?" she asked.

"Where is what?" Ezio asked in turn.

"The All," she answered. "We need to find the All."

What would a vampire need the All for? That was an interesting thing for a vampire, a very dead vampire, to ask about. He could sense it. Someone else's necromancy was what had brought Kat Cave back here. He could also sense some other spell, but he wasn't quite sure which one it was. It had the distinct electrical feeling of untamed magic, however, but that didn't tell him very much by itself.

"Why do you want the All?" he asked.

Kat hissed in annoyance. "You don't ask questions, you don't, _we_ ask questions, where is it, _where is it_?!"

"I don't know," Ezio answered. "And not to be cliche about it, but even if I did, I wouldn't tell you and whoever is controlling you."

"Controlling us, no one is controlling us," Kat spluttered. "We will find the All, with or without you!" Kat raised her hand, and threw it at the air. A slight distortion in the air shot across the space between them. Psychic energy; vampire magic didn't work very much like spellcaster magic. It was mostly invisible, and had the ability to cause mental damage, inducing confusion and forgetfulness.

He'd need to be very careful how many of her psychic hits he took.

Without thinking much about it, Ezio flung his arm out too, a streak of flame following the motion. The flames crashed into the psychic energy bolt, and right behind it, Ezio was already flinging energy bolts of his own. None of them were terribly powerful, but they _were_ very rapid.

Kat had obvious trouble keeping up with those bolts, but the vampire ducked out of the way of several, throwing psychic energy at a few others.

Ezio's eyes narrowed. He didn't know for sure that this was her, the same one that hit Morgyn with that overload potion, but she certainly _looked_ like she fit the bill. Morgyn hadn't mentioned she was out of her mind, though. It was possible there were more of them, vampires that had been raised from the dead and put into service for someone.

He didn't have too much time to think about it, before Kat launched at him with her claws out. Her fingers had metallic armouring over them, ending in very sharp points.

Ezio's eyes widened, and he immediately disappeared in a burst of light. Kat hit the asphalt, and Ezio reappeared behind her, throwing a barrage of icicles.

The vampire scooted rapidly backward, and then threw a psychic blast at him.

Quickly, Ezio rose an ice barrier, stopping the first blast, but then Kat threw another, and another, and the ice shattered, the force of it throwing him backwards. Ezio slid across the asphalt, stopping. She was already charging him again, and Ezio hissed in annoyance, pushing off a building and sliding right under her. As she went over him, Ezio waved a hand and threw the shards of the ice barrier after her.

She turned around, and threw a bottle at him. There it was. A potion bottle. This was the mother fucker that killed Morgyn.

Quickly, Ezio disappeared again, reappearing off to the side; the potion bottle crashed into the side of a brick building. "You did it," he said, his tone low. " _You_ made me _kill my twin_!" All the rage he'd felt before came flooding back, but now it had somewhere to go.

Bursts of blue and purple energy snaked around his arms, as Ezio purposely built a magic charge, and then slammed his boot into the ground. The earth shifted violently, wrenching upward, spikes erupting in a wave.

Kat's eyes widened, and then she threw a burst of psychic energy at the ground. The force of the explosion sent her skyward, and she flipped right over the wave of earth spikes. Kat landed behind it, and then threw a burst of psychic energy, and another potion right behind it.

Ezio quickly threw a bolt of energy back, neutralising the psychic blast, and then a second one right after it, in attempt to hit the bottle and shatter it.

Oh, it shattered it alright, but he hit it too late. The potion shattered right next to him, and the contents hit him anyway. He could feel it splatter across his shirt. This was going to suck.

For a moment, Ezio went perfectly still, and then the pain started up. He grit his teeth. He couldn't let this weaken him, not right now. He had to get home, preferably alive, and not screaming. He'd told Drake that much. He wouldn't come back screaming next.

It _was_ a magical overload, he was right about that. His muscles started violently spasming and seizing, and he had no idea how someone had managed to prolong this. Of course, the real question was, how did he win this? Ezio was already toast; he'd gotten hit with the damned thing, and now he was in unending overload state, and he had no choice but to die, but he needed to figure out what to do with her.

He didn't scream, but he did unleash a very annoyed-sounding hiss.

"Heheh, you fall anyway," Kat giggled. "Just like the blondie. You're stronger, though. Tougher to take down."

"So I've heard," Ezio said, through gritted teeth.

"The All is in magic realm, no?" Kat asked.

"I don't have any idea what you're talking about," Ezio said.

"Don't play stupid," Kat answered. "You're too cute to be dumb."

Ezio snorted.

What all did he know about magic overload? It was as if too much magic was trapped inside you, and overload was what happened when it violently exploded out of you. But magic attracted magic, after all; so when the body stored too much magic and lost control of it all, more magic was attracted to you. But where did that magic come from? It couldn't come from nowhere.

When you overloaded yourself, the magic was simply your own. If this potion truly replicated a magical overload, then maybe it created one in the same way.

That meant this was _his_ magic. Maybe, he could control it, then.

Ezio set his jaw, his nostrils flaring as he fought his way through the overload, and moved one arm. He waved his hand, trying to get the magic to go where he commanded it to go. The tendrils of purple and blue swirled around his arm violently, and the pain level suddenly spiked.

He did scream that time, though he tried not to, and clamped down on it as quickly as possible.

He wasn't going to control it _that way_ , that was for sure.

"I do try," Ezio said, through clenched teeth.

Kat giggled. "We can go through all of the powerful spellcasters," she said. "Until there are none left to defend magic realm."

He had to wonder about that. Of course, spellcasters were rapidly dwindling in number. There weren't nearly as many of them as there had been, once. Even back in the 1700s, there were dozens more spellcasters than this. The five families had died out, spellcasting blooded out of other lines, and now there were so few of them left.

Maybe someday, there really _wouldn't_ be anyone left to protect magic realm.

In his mind's eye, he could see the sparks of Morgyn's overload springing for a snowflake above his palm. It was attracted to magic, but it was also attracted to living people. He could sit there and debate the semantics of Kat's being alive or not all night and probably still not come to a conclusion, but she _was_ the only other 'living' thing around besides him.

That was how Ezio was going to control this.

He didn't know if he could do it. If he teleported… but that would probably - then again, he was dying anyway. The worst that happened was, he died. At some point, you had to just let caution go. When you didn't have anything else to lose, there was nothing to second guess your decisions for.

Ezio focused, pooling the magic together, and then teleported the short distance between himself and Kat, appearing right in front of her. He reached out with both hands, wrapping them around her neck. The magic went _everywhere_ , thrashing angrily against the snow below them, flowing from one of them to the other. Kat frantically reached up, scratching at his hands, trying to force him to let go.

He only squeezed harder.

"If I am going to die… I will _take you with me_ ," he snarled.

Kat screeched an unearthly wail, her eyes alighting with the glow of magic, a vibrant, angry orange-yellow. As she clawed and scratched at his skin, streaks of blood slid his wrists, dripping into the snow beneath them. Maybe a few minutes, and she stopped fighting him, and burst into blackened ashes in his grip.

Fortunately, Ezio didn't have to figure out how to make his hands let her go when his muscles were having so much trouble relaxing. Ezio stood there, for a moment, watching the ash swirl around at his feet. He hoped she found some sense of peace.

"You always were a thorn in my side," a voice said.

Ezio's head snapped up, finding an impossibly pale, black-haired woman standing in the snow, several feet away.

" _Aine_ ," he hissed.

"So nice to see you, too," Aine replied.

"Are you the one messing with the vampires?" Ezio asked.

"So what if I am?" Aine asked. "You can't prove it's me, and trying to convince anyone that it is me will only end in them smiling and patting your little head. You never did like me. Who else would you blame?"

Ezio unleashed another extremely _annoyed_ hiss.

"You know," Aine started, "it's almost like you've forgotten you're one of us, and not them. That's the issue with Embers. One of you thinks you're a boy, and the other thinks he's a vampire."

Ezio hissed yet again, and shifted his foot. Ice shot across the ground towards her, and then burst into an ice spike.

Aine disappeared, and reappeared further back. "You're going to die anyway," she said. "I won't do you the favour of speeding up the process."

When Aine disappeared that time, she didn't come back. Ezio dropped into the snow, panting heavily. His heart had started to hurt some time ago, but he still needed to deal with this overload potion. The easiest thing to do was going to be dying, and going back to magic realm for the resurrection potion he'd already made. First, he needed to die.

His eyes looked up, staring through his lashes. Forgotten Hollow. _Lilith_.

Though it took work, he grit his teeth, and forced himself to stand.


	19. Born to Walk Alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea what my updating schedule is anymore. My autism is acting up really bad or something. I keep bouncing between playing the OFAF save, the Goth legacy one, and then randomly I'll bounce over there to fiddling with Morgyn's hair mesh. And then the June patch busted the default eye replacements I was using so I spent some time figuring out how to fix those. It wasn't fun. All the while trying to update OFAF on some kind of a regular schedule, oh and I have a class final I'm putting off like crazy lmao. I'm not good at adulting.  
> Also, seems my instinct to wait before buying Eco Lifestyle was the right one because it's hopelessly busted for a few people. >>  
> This one's song changed a few times, but it's now Here I Go Again, Whitesnake. The next few chapters may be shorter than the other ones, tbh, because we're kind of winding down here and just wrapping up. Aine also ruined my plans last chapter, she wasn't meant to out herself that early, but okiedoke I guess. I'll roll with it.  
> I'm sorry, I feel like these latter chapters are crap. 19, 20, and 21 are really just necessary filler until 22 and I think I'm writing them that way too, sorry.

The pain was blinding. He had no other expectations for this mess, and the pain wasn't surprising. What _was_ surprising was his ability to think any sort of straight, but Ezio supposed, he may not be thinking straight, anyway. It was hard to tell, for him, how long he'd been limping from one side of San Myshuno to Forgotten Hollow, how many short transportalates he'd managed along the way. At some point, distance and time had started to become meaningless. It was hard to breathe, and difficult to move. Things like distance and time were pointless things to focus on.

Ezio took it one step at a time. It was likely going to be the only way he could manage to do this without going insane _himself_ , but his pain tolerance was a little higher than Morgyn's presumably was. It wasn't the first time he'd been in a prolonged state of pain, though Ezio liked to forget that time.

If he managed one more transportalate… either he would _finally_ die, or he'd make it to Forgotten Hollow. It was right up there, in the mountains, but he was fairly sure that if he tried to walk it, he wouldn't make it. His best bet here would be managing to transportalate up there, and either outcome he got would be an acceptable one.

He'd told Drake he wouldn't come back screaming next. It may seem stupid to anyone else, but he was keeping to that.

So he set his jaw, his features screwing up in concentration for one last transportalate. The world swirled around and darkened, and then he was staring at a street light. Moths buzzed around it, making slight _clinking_ sounds. A sharp pain tore through him, and he fell to his knees.

He'd made it, though. He'd made it to Forgotten Hollow. The problem now was managing to get Lilith's attention. Caleb _might_ work too, but he probably didn't have it in him to kill Ezio, either, even if it was for the best. Not that Ezio figured it'd be terribly easy for _Lilith_ to manage, either.

Grey eyes glanced up at the street light. He had an idea. First, he needed a Vatore. And, for the first time since he'd first tried controlling the overcharge, Ezio unleashed a loud, unearthly shrieking sound. The sound bounced off the buildings and made it sound louder than it was. The worst that happened was, he got a different vampire, but even that might be useful enough.

"- idea why he's - what is that?"

"Magic charge, I think."

"Don't they tend to die when they lose control of it like that?"

"Semantics that don't matter right now, Ezio," Caleb's voice said. "Ezio, what do we do?" Obviously, the black-haired man was _not_ okay, and asking that seemed like a stupid thing to do in this instance.

Tired grey eyes looked up at Caleb. Lilith knelt down beside her brother, looking worried. "Kill me," Ezio said.

"Oh no," Caleb answered, shaking his head. "I can do a _lot_ of shit if you ask me to, but that? Can't do that. Lil, can you do that? Cause I can't."

Ezio tried not to shriek in annoyance and frustration, but the temptation was most certainly there.

Lilith looked distinctly uncomfortable. "I think so," she said. "I don't really want to, the only way I can think of doing it is to drain you."

Ezio didn't answer, right off, breathing heavily. His eyes turned up to look at the streetlight. "Break it," he said.

Lilith followed his gaze to the streetlight above them. She was curious, tilting her head. Break it, huh? She wasn't sure about that either, but maybe he had a plan she couldn't think of. With that in mind, she stood up, and threw a bolt of psychic energy at the lamp. The glass immediately shattered, raining onto the asphalt under it.

Ezio raised a hand, and yanked at the air. One of the shards of glass shot towards him _very_ rapidly and buried itself in his chest. The spellcaster loosed a strangled shriek, in time with Caleb's, eyes squeezing closed, and then he released a breath and fell. Caleb instinctively reached out and caught him, but Ezio was already gone.

"What the fuck!" Caleb squeaked, clinging to Ezio like if he held him tight enough, he could bring him back. The sparks and zaps of colour faded as the magic charge died away.

Lilith reached over and rested a hand on his shoulder. "You know spellcasters," she said. "Death doesn't mean anything to them."

"That _really_ doesn't make me feel any better!"

Lilith released a sigh. "Morgyn did the same thing," she said. "And Ezio brought Morgyn back. That's what you said, isn't it?"

"That's what _Morgyn_ said," Caleb grumbled.

"Well, there we go," Lilith said. "The biggest hurdle in this was someone managing to kill him. It isn't like anyone was jumping to volunteer. Well, maybe _somebody_ was, but nobody I know."

Caleb didn't answer right away, instead still clinging to Ezio like he could bring him back that way. Caleb's grey eyes looked up at Lilith. "What do we do now, then?" he asked.

Lilith took a breath in, and looked up at the street lamp. "I think now we just wait," she said. "And maybe take care of him until he brings himself back. We've done our part. The rest is up to Ezio."

It'd seem Caleb didn't like that answer, either, but Lilith stood up, reaching down and tugging on Caleb's arm. He eventually sighed, and stood up too, shifting his grip on Ezio. As much as he didn't like Lilith's answer, she _was_ probably right, and the rest of this was up to Ezio.

Thing was, Caleb never knew Ezio to be terribly good at taking care of himself. He'd just have to hope that not upsetting Morgyn was a good enough motivator to fix this, because it wasn't as if Caleb could fix it for him.

* * *

The in-between was a space that rested between one dimension and another. Ezio knew it to exist between the dawnlands, where the living resided, and the dusklands, where the spirits of the dead went, with the in-between acting as both a bridge and a buffer, keeping the two together, but also apart from each other. During certain times of the year, the dawnlands and the dusklands came closer together, and necromancers such as himself could always reach the dusklands to an extent all year.

It meant that he was familiar enough to recognise the in-between when his soul awakened in it.

The in-between was also the space that spirits used to travel around the living world, rapidly going from one place to another with minimal effort. He could sense the dozens of other spirits in the in-between, some that he recognised the feel of, and some that he didn't.

He almost got a headache, from how angry some of them were.

Ezio looked around, trying to get an idea of where in the in-between he was, and then, turned around and found Keisha. As it hadn't been before, he knew it wasn't _really_ her. Whatever spirit this was sure liked taking her form, though, perhaps because it was one that he'd recognise. Presumably, it'd also be a form that he was relaxed around.

It made him a little nervous, actually.

"Well," 'Keisha' said. "Imagine you ending up here, of all the places."

Ezio snorted. "It happens when you die that you end up here," he said.

"You're not _quite_ dead," 'Keisha' answered. "You and I both know that."

"The semantics of my level of deadness seem… unimportant," Ezio replied.

'Keisha' snorted softly. "I have to warn you again," she said.

"About what?" Ezio asked.

"Do you remember what I told you the last time we spoke?" 'Keisha' asked. "You know, the warning that you seem intent on ignoring?"

Ezio rolled his eyes. "I'm not _ignoring_ it," he said. "There are more important things than the darkness in Morgyn that may or may not be any greater than anyone else's, and besides, if you know us so well, you should know that trying to restrict or command Morgyn _at all_ only ends in the shitnugget fighting harder. There are ways of doing what you want, and _how_ you want them done just isn't on the list. Morgyn's _my_ twin. I suggest you leave that one to me."

'Keisha' looked slightly amused, but Ezio could see the offence in her eyes all the same. Though she didn't want to admit it, he was right, and she knew it.

"The book," 'Keisha' said. "Morgyn told you it might be dangerous."

"Of course," Ezio replied. "And I decided to ignore the idiot, too. I _know_ it might be, but sitting around waiting for answers to fall into my lap was never my style."

"What if they're the wrong ones?" she asked.

"It wouldn't be the first time I made a mistake, and was wrong about something," Ezio replied.

"There are things in that book that I don't think you're ready to know," she said. "If you keep down this path, keep shoving your nose into these things, you're going to end up face to face with something you may not be able to fight. Discretion, Ezio, is the better part of valour."

Ezio went quiet, thinking. Even with _her_ it was hard to pin-point her motivations and what her end-game was. Was she telling him these things out of the goodness of her little heart, or was it more because his nosing into the book's mysteries were messing with her own agenda? That was hard for him to say. Either one was a distinct possibility, but he'd known from the start of this that he'd have to tread carefully.

Spirits were not to be trifled with, and enchanted, temperamental things that changed on a whim generally weren't either. Fortunately, Ezio wasn't Morgyn, and _did_ have _some_ ability to think ahead.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

'Keisha' was quiet a moment, and then answered, "The real threat we must face doesn't lie in a book, Ezio. And I fear the next time you're here, it may just be to stay."

Ezio snorted. He wouldn't deny that possibility, but he figured, if he was to have such a short existence, what was the harm in trying to find some sense of meaning to it? This book, it might be something only _Ezio_ could figure out. It may also want him to believe that.

"There are secrets, Ezio," 'Keisha' said. "Secrets and misconceptions and _lies_ , that have been kept for _centuries_. You are getting dangerously close to unburying them, and I don't think you're ready for it. Unburying those secrets, it could destroy you. It could destroy _everything_."

Ezio's eyes narrowed slightly. "Secrets have never scared me."

"And you're a fool for it," 'Keisha' replied. "The very foundation of magic realm rests on this bed of secrets, and now you want to go unravelling it. And what would that mean, then, for those that depend on magic realm, and its existence?"

"The vortex threatens magic realm fine enough, this is nothing new," Ezio argued.

"Oh, but it is," 'Keisha' answered. "These are shadows and secrets that have no precedent and you won't know what to do with. That threaten the very existence of magic realm, that threaten _your_ existence, and Morgyn's. Nothing is as it seems in magic realm, and if you tear down enough walls, everything comes down! Can you destroy it, then? The only thing the spellcasters have that is _ours_?"

Ezio went quiet. Grey eyes cast down to the nothingness beneath them. Whatever it was that he was unburying, it seemed to be making some of the spirits nervous. He wasn't sure if he liked that idea. Spirits that felt nervous and threatened could be rather dangerous ones.

A spirit had never scared him before.

"Will you stand in my way?" he asked.

'Keisha' released a sigh, visibly deflating. "I am not that kind of spirit," she said. "I am a _guide_ , not a barricade. I will not stop you. But I will continually tell you that you're a reckless fool."

Ezio smiled. "All the best are."

* * *

He was late. He was so late, and Morgyn didn't know what to make of it. The blond was pacing around by the bridge upstairs, Drake not far away reading a book, and somehow the vampire was managing _not_ to fall apart. Of course, Morgyn was never terribly good at controlling the blond's own emotions, and that much had yet to change. L was trying, of course, but that was likely to be something that took some time.

Occasionally, Drake would glance up from his book at Morgyn, look like he wanted to say something, and then go back to being quiet. Morgyn and Ezio both thought easier when they were moving and burning off nervous energy, Drake knew that. Still, Morgyn hadn't stopped pacing for at least half an hour, and Drake was starting to worry about Morgyn tiring out.

Ezio was never gone this long. It was _very_ concerning, but Morgyn was trying to be patient and trust in his ability to take care of himself.

"Did he at least tell you where he was going?" Morgyn asked.

Drake looked up at the blond, and shook his head. "No, he didn't say anything."

Morgyn loosed a huff. "He's not like this," the blond said. "Are we _sure_ he went to the normal world? Maybe he's somewhere in magic realm."

"Where else would he _be_ , Morgyn?" Drake asked. "It's either here, Caster's Alley, maybe up there in the observatory, but I really doubt that one."

" _I don't know_!" Morgyn snapped. "I'm just. I'm just worried."

Drake sighed, closing the book he was reading. "Do you want me to go out there and find him?"

"No," Morgyn answered, returning to the blond's pacing. "Maybe. I don't know."

Drake loosed another sigh.

"He never leaves magic realm for very long," Morgyn said. "I'm just having a hard time dealing with it, that's all. It's probably just fine. He's stronger than us both, really." Morgyn really did believe that. There was no reason _not_ to, given Ezio battled the blond very rarely, but when he did, he always won. Morgyn was sure the blond wasn't going easy on him; he was just that difficult to take down.

Of course, it was possible Morgyn was going easy on him _unconsciously_ … whatever, it didn't matter right that second.

"He'll probably be okay," Drake said. His own paranoia was going a mile a minute, but faced with Ezio or Morgyn's panic tended to make it be quiet long enough for him to be the reassuring one. _Someone_ had to be, he guessed.

"I know," Morgyn said, groaning. "But in the meantime I'm having a bit of a panic, and I'm sorry you're stuck with it."

"It's alright," Drake said.

"No, it really isn't," Morgyn argued. "I'm trying to curb it somewhat, I promise, it's just pretty hard."

"I know," Drake said. "I'm a mess, too."

"Really?" Morgyn said, pausing in the pacing long enough to arch an eyebrow at him. "Could've fooled me."

Drake laughed. "I never said I wasn't good at hiding it."

Morgyn smiled, very slightly, and went to respond, but the sound of glass shattering interrupted. Drake sat bolt upright, and both of them scrambled towards the sound. It came from Ezio's room.

Morgyn shoved the door open, and then loosed a startled squeak, scurrying across the room to kneel beside Ezio. The shattering had been a potion bottle breaking, but that didn't make any sense to Morgyn. Unless he'd…

"His heart's going haywire, but I'm not sure why," Drake said, sitting down beside him to work on calming it.

Morgyn's head snapped up, looking around, and then the blond stood up, rummaging through his side table drawers.

"What are you doing?" Drake asked.

"Finding his medication," Morgyn replied, distracted.

"When did he get medication?" Drake asked, bewildered. That was news to him.

"A while ago," Morgyn answered, digging through the drawers. The blond pulled out a small vinyl bag of bottles, and dumped the bottles out onto the floor, picking them up one by one and checking the labels. Morgyn knew what the right one was, but finding it was - aha! Ezio had told the blond how to handle this particular medication, but Morgyn read the label, three times, anyway, probably because the blond was nervous and didn't want to mess it up.

But, Morgyn followed the instructions, and what Ezio had said about it, to the letter, and within a few minutes, his heart rate started to even out, his heart skipping fewer and fewer beats until it was even like it should be. Morgyn released a breath of relief, settling down on the floor beside Ezio.

Drake looked up at the sage. "What was that?"

"Medicine," Morgyn answered. "Things are a bit different out there now, I guess. Medicine actually _works_." And if it hadn't, Morgyn had no idea what the blond would've done. Prayed a lot, or something. "I'll tell you what they're for later, or Ezio will, one of the two."

Drake shook his head. "Not sure I can handle that right this second anyway," he said. "He's not entirely out of the woods yet, just stable."

"I know," Morgyn said. "He'll need to be on bed rest for a while, I think."

"Most likely." But it was a good thing, at least one of them knew what to do with the little bottles that rattled, and could calm his heart down. That was easier and quicker than either of their magics had ever been with this. Drake wasn't sure if he was glad for that, or resented the little rattling bottles. For being better at this than he was, and not existing _sooner_.

Drake shook his head again, readjusting Ezio in his arms to get him off the floor, and into bed. Morgyn took one of Ezio's hands as Drake set him down.

"I suppose we wait, now?" Drake asked.

"Unfortunately, that's all that's left," Morgyn said, reaching over and brushing Ezio's hair out of his face. "I really want to know what happened."

"He smells like vampire," Drake said. He glanced at Morgyn. "And like magic charge."

Morgyn cursed.

Drake snorted. "You didn't expect he wouldn't go after her, did you?"

"I'd hoped he wouldn't be able to find her," Morgyn said.

"You know he's practically a blood-hound when it comes to you," Drake said. "It'd be impressive, if it wasn't so worrying."

Morgyn sighed, playing with Ezio's hair. "At least she doesn't seem to have done much damage," the blond said.

Drake reached down, picking up Ezio's hands and looking at his wrists. There were injuries down his arms from something sharp. The vampire frowned. "Yeah, not very much. But enough."

Morgyn stood up, walking over to the shards of glass on the floor from the broken potion bottle. The bits of label that were still on the glass suggested this was one of the resurrection potions.

She'd hit him with that overload potion after all. That could be dangerous. Ezio's heart likely wouldn't have taken that well. Morgyn waved a hand, fixing the bottle. Ezio could die from this anyway, and all Morgyn could do was hope that he pulled through this.

* * *

If Ezio had to imagine what getting hit with a freight train might feel like, should you not die from it, it was probably a little something like this. His head hurt something _fierce_ , and he had very little interest in opening his eyes and dealing with the day. That was probably a personal failing, but he didn't see an issue with it right this second. Ezio's chest still hurt, somewhat, but it was a distant pain, something he could easily get over on his own.

He just needed time. As always. His awareness slowly came back, like it was molasses being filtered through a cheese cloth, but he was soon aware of something holding one of his hands. One eye peeked open, finding Drake holding his hand and reading a book. Ezio couldn't help smiling at it, releasing a puff of air at the scene.

Drake's eyes immediately flicked up, and he put the book onto the side table. "Hey," he said quietly. "How are you feeling?"

Ezio snorted. "Like I got hit with a freight train," he said. "How long have I been out?"

"A couple days now," Drake answered. "Morgyn was in here earlier."

"That's a while," Ezio said. "Sorry, I wasn't expecting to pass out immediately like that." In hindsight, though, Ezio wasn't sure why not, because that would've made the most sense. The fight with Morgyn the day before, then the fight with Kat, building a _charge_ on _purpose_ , and then the prolonged state of overload, it was no wonder his body wasn't at its best. He supposed there was time to kick himself in the ass later. He didn't regret it.

"What happened?" Drake asked.

"I found the potion-toting vampire," Ezio said. "… Drake, Aine's behind this. And I need you to believe me when I say that. I think she's misusing her necromancy, raising vampires and probably plenty of others and commanding them. I killed this one, but I don't think that's the end of this."

Aine? Drake frowned, but he had no reason to doubt Ezio's words. As much as Morgyn and plenty of others liked to think that Aine wasn't much of a threat, Drake and Ezio knew better. She was already misusing her necromancy before she'd left magic realm.

"Ezio, you know you can't handle Aine by yourself," Drake said.

"Bullshit I can't," Ezio answered. "I could take her twisted ass down no problem, unless she went using necromancy on me, that might be a problem, never fought another necromancer before. That's not the point, the point is, _watch me_."

"I'm not going to watch you die because you're having a really long arrogant moment," Drake said, quite flatly. "Let me help you."

"You're a _vampire_ and you want to help with that?" Ezio asked. "Have you lost your mind?"

"Now you know how I feel, all the time," Drake said.

Ezio started to argue, and then, found that he couldn't. Instead, he released a breath, and dropped his hand onto the bed. Arguing that way, they'd never get anywhere, and he knew it, as much as he would much rather argue about it all. Drake meant well, he knew that too, and at the moment, maybe Ezio _couldn't_ take Aine by himself.

Ezio needed _Morgyn_ on his side, but he didn't know if that would ever happen. Morgyn still had a very romanticised idea of Aine in the blond's head, and needed to let go of it before Morgyn would listen to anything that painted her in a negative light. It was hard to accept it, when the people you trusted and wanted to believe in let you down. It wasn't like Ezio didn't understand. He'd just always hoped, a little, that Ezio would be more important to Morgyn than Aine was. Then, he supposed that was partially his own fault, for not being here when Morgyn needed him. For not being strong enough to deal with Jean on his own.

That was a failure he'd carry for the rest of his life.

"I'm sorry I'm a mess," Ezio said.

Drake snorted softly, patting his hand. "I accepted that about you a long time ago," he said. "You were like that even back then. It's quieter, now, you hide it a little better, but it's always been there."

Ezio smiled a little. "You shouldn't worry about me so much," he said. "You're probably really lucky you can't age anymore, or you'd be wrinkly by now from the stress."

Drake snorted again. "Please," he said. "Someone has to worry about you, because you don't worry about _yourself_ nearly enough." At least, he didn't if one asked Drake, and usually, no one did. He'd still thought it many times now.

Ezio couldn't help the laugh at that. Drake was right, and he knew it. Ezio still didn't understand why Drake was still here. He could've gone and made a life for himself somewhere else, without the crazy Ember twins making his life harder and messing with his blood pressure. Yet for some reason, here he still was. Maybe that was something that Ezio would never really understand. Maybe, he wasn't meant to.

"You're right," he said. "All of my concern about myself seems to have gone to Morgyn."

Drake glanced down at the floor. "So it would seem," he said. "But you know, if Morgyn loses you because you decided to take something that was never your fight to spare Morgyn having to… I don't think Morgyn would ever really come back from that."

Ezio's gaze softened, thinking about that. Drake was _probably_ right. Yet, it wasn't as if this _wasn't_ Ezio's fight. Of course it was. No one threatened Morgyn without answering to him, let alone _killed_ the idiot.

When you lived for a reason, it was difficult to act outside of it. Ezio lived because Morgyn needed him to. Because Morgyn didn't know how to be alone, and Drake didn't know how to be without Ezio. And maybe that wasn't a good enough reason to live, to most, but it'd done fine enough for Ezio, so far. He _was_ still alive, after all.

"I'm tired," Ezio said softly. "That's annoying."

"So sleep," Drake answered.

"I don't _want_ to…" He said that, but he was already drifting off, still holding Drake's hand. Unconsciously, Drake's thumb started to rub circles on the back of Ezio's hand. And when his breathing evened out, and his muscles relaxed, Drake stood up, gently putting Ezio's hand down, and pressed his lips to Ezio's hair.

"But to be honest," Drake said softly. "Even if you did start thinking about yourself more, I'd probably still worry about you."

At least he knew that, he supposed.

* * *

Morgyn had some reservations.

In the first place, the vampires randomly gaining _potions_ that were specifically designed to emulate the effects of magical overload (it was and was not a true magical overload, Morgyn figured), and then _using them_ , knowing that the spellcasters had whipped their asses before, seemed highly unlikely. It was more believable that there was something _making_ them turn on the spellcasters, but Caleb didn't seem to have any more idea what was going on than Morgyn did. Ezio wasn't sharing, either, and Drake seemed to know _something_ , but neither was he talking.

Some made the mistake of underestimating how much Morgyn could figure out. Aine was one of those that did, and it'd cost her the position of sage of untamed magic. Morgyn had chased her out, albeit a little reluctantly. But Aine wasn't one for talking, and Morgyn wasn't one for bullshit, and while that hadn't been Morgyn's plan, that was how it turned out, and the blond would do it again in a heartbeat.

The All choosing _Morgyn_ to replace her seemed a bit strange, if one asked the blond, but nobody had asked, and Morgyn hadn't explained where Aine had gone or why, let alone how _weird_ it was that the All had chosen Morgyn as the new sage. As far as anyone knew, Morgyn had no more idea what had happened than anyone else. It was safer that way, because Morgyn wasn't sure if the blond could explain what was going on enough that anyone understood and _believed_ it.

Well, Ezio would. Ezio believed everything Morgyn said, just like Morgyn always believed everything Ezio said. It helped that he was rarely ever wrong. Ezio was also a very kind person, even tempered for the most part. People trusted him, because he spoke respectfully and calmly, and rarely ever spoke wrong. Morgyn was exactly the same way. The blond trusted Ezio for a lot of the same reasons, but also because Ezio was the other half of the blond. Nothing could override that.

Morgyn sat at the dining room table, taking a coffee break. The blond silently drank some of the coffee, set it down on the table with a light _tap_. Morgyn was beginning to wonder if the blond chasing Aine out of magic realm hadn't incidentally incited a fight for revenge, or something. If Aine was going to do that, though, it'd make more sense to be after Morgyn.

On the other hand, if you messed with one Ember, you tended to get the other one. Ezio was also the stronger of the two, and it would be logical to take Ezio down first, only it was Morgyn that Aine found first. Either one needed to be taken out, so perhaps Aine thought she'd taken them both out. That _could_ feed into Morgyn's favour. If Aine was behind this, and thought both Morgyn and Ezio gone, they'd be quite a surprise later on.

Of course, Morgyn had no way of _proving_ this was Aine, and it'd be a better idea not to say anything to anyone about that reservation. Aine was respected here, and Morgyn was getting there, but the blond was not quite her level yet. For now, focusing on gaining that respect, so that one day, when Morgyn said it was Aine, people would believe it, that seemed like a better idea, certainly more constructive.

Morgyn needed _Ezio_ on the blond's side. Working together on this would behoove them both. They'd always been stronger together. That was a _strong_ accusation, though, and Ezio was all about things making sense. Morgyn would need something besides just a _hunch_.

The blond's head shook slightly, and Morgyn took another drink of coffee, setting the cup back down. As green eyes turned hazy, staring at the liquid in the cup, someone else settled down across the table. Morgyn looked up. Drake smiled slightly.

"How is he doing?" Morgyn asked.

"He's a little better," Drake answered. "He ate a bit ago, and he's gone back to sleep now."

"That's good," Morgyn said. "Hopefully he stays okay, and doesn't suddenly take a nose-dive."

"So far so good," Drake said. "He's stronger than he looks."

"I know," Morgyn said, pausing to take another drink of coffee. "He's just not invincible, and it feels like he keeps forgetting this. Why does he do this?"

Drake snorted softly, reaching across the table and patting Morgyn's hands. "Because he loves you," he said. "No matter what else is going on, if you two are on bad terms or not, he loves you."

Morgyn looked down at the table. "I know you're right," the blond answered quietly. "It just feels like a bit much."

"Nothing will ever matter to him as much as you do," Drake said. "You should know that. Even if he has to go down doing it, I don't think there will ever be a time when Ezio does not defend you. That's how it goes."

Morgyn sighed, scooting down in the blond's seat. "It sounds so simple when you say it that way."

"Isn't it?" Drake asked. "It's not like there are any complicated explanations for this. He just values you many, _many_ times more than he will ever value himself." And that wasn't his fault, really. Jean had done that, if Drake had to guess. Jean had nearly destroyed him, and Drake hadn't made much of a dent in the damage he'd done, even now, many years later. It was unfortunate that Ezio still had to suffer for Drake's mistakes, but he supposed thinking that way wouldn't get anyone anywhere. It generally didn't, tempting though it may be.

Morgyn was quiet for a long moment, and then sighed again. "I just wish he could see himself the way I see him," Morgyn said. "The way _you_ see him."

Drake snorted. "I'm fresh out of miracles, too, Morgs."

Morgyn took a breath in, looking amused. "Of course you are. Though you seem to work them on Ezio all the time."

The vampire stood up, shrugging. "They only look like they're miracles."


	20. All You Ever Wanted Was Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "All I wanna say is that, they don't really care about us."  
> Everything's exhausting. I'm just utterly drained, by life mostly. The state of the world right now is tough, and I am a person of colour, though I am multi-racial and pass as white. When people see my last name, you know, they make snap judgements sometimes, and I used to have issues with people being broadly racist because they had no idea what I am. Times like these are really hard for me because basically I never know what side to be "on," you know? Am I allowed to talk about my experiences as a white-passing person of colour? Or is everyone going to just be like "shut up you're basically white"? I don't know. It's rough. The white people see me as coloured, the coloured people see me as white. Story of my life.  
> Anyway, we're all probably tired of that crap. The whole world imploded and rose up in protest, and it's sort of touching to see everyone united in something for once, if REALLY messily, but it's also so exhausting. The good news, I guess, is that I did finally take my class final and I am free of school until August.  
> Random trivia for those that don't know, you would say Aine as awn-yah. It is the name of an Irish goddess of the summer, wealth, and sovereignty, love and fertility. Curiously, in more recent times in county Limerick, she's remembered as queen of the fae. I was *going* to do something with that, it was in the early outlines, but I decided to drop it because, frankly, Celtic mythology is in fact quite done to death, so even though I'm Irish, we're going to pretend that never was a thing.  
> Ikr, Irish and Mexican and I've got some Pinoy and Samoan, Native American, Latvian, Thai, Nigerian... I'm just a mess. I have blood from everywhere but Australia and New Zealand, but I am mostly Mexican, Samoan, and Latvian, so I guess I'm just a Mestizo. You ever wonder how people end up this mixy-mixy? Cause I'm really wondering what kind of crazy drunken orgy made me. (I know that's not how it works, it's just more amusing.)  
> I stg I do intend to update Tell Me a Tale eventually. Someday. I've just not had enough time or the mental fortitude for it lol I barely have enough for OFAF.  
> This is Low, by Coldplay.  
> By the way, if anyone's interested in a Sims 4 based RP site, you're welcome to reach out to me. I'm done hiding. Simprovise is making a comeback.  
> The next chapter is the last one in TML. We're almost done with this first part. c: Then, onto TMA take 2!

Outwardly, Morgyn probably seemed perfectly fine. It was far more useful, in this instance, if Morgyn did _not_ panic, and thus far, the blond had done okay not doing so. The blond could accomplish a lot more if Morgyn didn't have a complete meltdown. Internally was another story. The freak out was absolutely happening internally.

This meant that Ezio wasn't safe from whatever it was that was after Morgyn, either. Of course, there were reasons for that, and Morgyn knew those reasons, even if the blond didn't _like_ them. The unfortunate reality was that Morgyn had no way of shielding Ezio from this. He could get far more stubborn than even Morgyn was, when he put his mind to it, and Morgyn had a hard time fighting it.

This meant, that if Morgyn wanted to keep Ezio out of harm's way, the only thing to do was destroy this threat before it got too big. And the problem with _that_ was, the vampire problems were very likely to be diversions. If, as Morgyn suspected, Aine was involved, the only way to _end_ this was going to be taking Aine down. Could Morgyn face Aine, right now? Maybe. And maybe not. And Morgyn couldn't, _wouldn't_ , rest Ezio's life on _maybe_. Ezio meant too much to the blond.

There had to be another way.

As Morgyn often was, now, the blond sat at the dining room table with a cup of coffee in hand. The blond was utterly silent, but there was no one there to listen to Morgyn's panicking anyway, and still, it served no purpose. The sound of heels clicking against the stone floor seemed to be determined to change that.

L silently slid into the seat across from Morgyn. The blond glanced up at her, in curiosity and confusion. L was still helping with that emotional regulation thing, and Morgyn's fight with personal identity. It seemed strange she'd want to put herself into this, too.

The two were silent, for a short time. L cleared her throat.

"How is Ezio doing?" she asked.

Morgyn looked down at the wood of the table.

"Is he doing that badly?" L asked, looking concerned.

Morgyn released a sigh, looking back up. "He comes and goes," the blond said. "It's almost scarier than if he was just consistently not doing so well. This constant back and forth is getting emotionally draining."

"I can only imagine," L said.

"He killed the vampire that did it," Morgyn said.

L frowned slightly. That was _good_ , of course, but L didn't think that would ultimately solve anything. This was _bigger_ than some errant vampire. She could feel it. _Proving_ that, on the other hand, might be more difficult. Unlike the others that tended to spend time in magic realm, however, L was the crazy lady. She didn't _have_ to make any sense. No one expected her to, anyway.

"I don't think we're out of the woods yet," L said, "even if he _did_ kill the problem vampire."

Morgyn went quiet, for a moment, one finger rapidly tapping against the coffee cup. "Unfortunately, I think you're right about that one."

"Of course I am - wait, what?" That was a first. Morgyn _never_ agreed with L, particularly not when it came to vague conspiracy theories.

Morgyn sighed. "It's just, this smells a little too strongly of spellcaster," the blond explained quietly. "Vampires don't do potions."

"No," L said, "they don't." L was quiet a moment, and then asked, "Do you have any ideas? This could be almost anyone."

Morgyn glanced at the wall. "The vampire asked both myself and Ezio about the All," the blond said. "I can't imagine why."

L's eyes narrowed. "I can't say I can either," L answered. No one knew where the All was, not even the Sages. The idea, of course, being that if the Sages didn't know _where_ , exactly, in magic realm the All was, they wouldn't _accidentally_ give away its location either, by being too defensive of a particular place. And by now, none now lived that remembered where it was. If you listened, with your heart, with your _magic_ , you could sense it somewhere out there, though. It was hard to believe in things that one had never seen or experienced, but every spellcaster could feel the All's existence, to some degree. Some more so than others.

"I can only imagine what use a vampire has for the All," Morgyn said. "I can't say for certain which spellcaster this is. I have my theories. But even if I was right, being right wouldn't be helpful. I can't find this spellcaster on command, so it's best to simply stay alert, and hope that Ezio messed up their plans enough they retreat. Either that, or they get too bold and make a disastrous mistake." Either one would work, honestly.

L snorted. "And how are you holding up?" she asked.

Morgyn gave the woman a slightly befuddled look. Then, the blond supposed that L was very good at reading Morgyn's emotions, no matter how well the blond thought to have hidden them. Most of the time, they weren't as well-hidden as Morgyn believed. The blond wasn't very good at it yet.

"You can try and pretend that you're not freaking out, but I can see it," L said. "That's your panic face, you know."

One of Morgyn's eyebrows raised. "My face is fine," Morgyn said. "I'm not even making a face."

"No, you're definitely making a face," L said.

Morgyn turned back towards the wall. The blond was very well-aware that, no matter how much Morgyn tried, saving Ezio from this mess was going to be impossible. Even if, by some miracle, Morgyn managed it, Ezio would inevitably dive back into it. Of course, it didn't make a difference, which one of them was stronger than the other. They were, either way, stronger _together_ , and maybe the only thing to do in this instance would be to work together.

That didn't tend to work with Ezio, however. Ezio was unfortunately something of a lone wolf. There were scars in him that Morgyn could never heal, and maybe neither could Drake. It was all the more obvious, in times like these, when he walked alone.

"I can't stop him," Morgyn said quietly. "I can't stop him from getting himself too involved in this mess, and what if next time he doesn't come back?"

L's gaze softened, and she reached across the table to take one of Morgyn's hands. "You can't stop him from doing what he wants, either," L said. "And yes, sometimes, his decisions will hurt him."

"It's not _fair_ ," Morgyn said.

"Nothing in life is very fair," L answered. "But you cannot claim to love him, and also seek to control him. That's not what love is."

* * *

The sudden shift in magic realm was stronger, this time. Ezio suddenly sensed _both_ of the Vatores, and this wasn't surprising. He _had_ kind of died in Caleb's arms. Actually, even _worse_ , he'd killed himself in Caleb's arms. (He should apologise for that.) Ezio still felt weak, so he'd have to wait for them to get to him. Caleb was _probably_ half there for him, and half there to talk to Morgyn, anyway. It was obvious. Caleb at least had gotten himself a crush on the blond, Ezio knew that. If Morgyn didn't know that, it'd be kind of surprising.

On the other hand, even if Morgyn knew, maybe the blond wouldn't know what to _do_ with it. It wasn't like Ezio had any better idea. His attempts at having relationships with other people had turned out _real_ splendid.

He took a breath in, scooting around in bed. Then came tapping on the door, and Ezio smiled a little. "It's open," he said.

The door unlatched, and Lilith came in, followed by Caleb. "Hey," she said. "How are you feeling?"

Ezio snorted. "Not great," he answered. "I've had better days. I think I've had worse ones, too. Can't think of any off-hand, but, it sounds right."

Lilith laughed quietly. "I'm glad you fixed that," she said. "I wasn't really sure what to do if you hadn't."

"Thanks," Ezio said. "For letting me suicide on you."

"You owe me for that one," Caleb said. He moved around Lilith and held his hands out, which were holding a bouquet of flowers. They looked like daisies. "But I do hope you get better. What's wrong, exactly?" he asked.

Ezio shrugged a shoulder. "The strain from fighting with Kat, I guess. I'd had a fight with Morgyn a few days before, too, which probably didn't help either, never mind the prolonged exposure to an overload charge. At least I'm conscious. Thanks for the flowers." Ezio raised a hand, magic pooling at his fingertips, but Lilith reached out and grabbed his hands.

"No no," she said. "No magic right now, okay?"

"… Oh, right." Yeah, Ezio supposed that was a bad idea.

"I'll go get these in a vase," Caleb said. "And make you something healthy to eat, too. May as well since I'm here anyway."

"You don't have to," Ezio argued.

"I know," Caleb replied, heading back for the door. "But I want to." And that was as complicated as that needed to be.

Caleb pulled the door open and went back downstairs, and Lilith settled down in a seat. The two of them were quiet for a moment, and then Lilith took a breath in.

"So, it _was_ Kat after all?" she asked quietly.

"I think it was," Ezio answered. "I've obviously never met her before, so I may be wrong. But she fit the description you and Morgyn gave me."

Lilith breathed in. "This can't be good," she said. "Someone raising dead vampires? I don't imagine they're just being friendly."

"No," Ezio answered. For a moment, he went quiet, and then looked up at Lilith. "Aine showed up, after I'd killed Kat."

Lilith's eyebrows furrowed. "You can't be serious."

"Unfortunately, that's what I saw," Ezio answered.

Lilith loosed a breath, her hands raising to cover her mouth as she slid down in the seat. "I don't think we can _handle_ Aine," she said.

"Not now," Ezio said. "But someday, I think we can."

"Are we going to have the _time_ to become strong enough to handle her?" Lilith asked. It was all well and good that their power could grow, of course, but if they didn't have the room to do so before Aine made another move, then it didn't mean anything.

"I think so," Ezio answered. "She hasn't shown any interest in directly facing either myself or Morgyn. But then, if she comes here, Morgyn's strongest here, now."

That was true. Sages were nigh invincible here in magic realm, thanks to the All's passive benefits. Trying to face Morgyn here would also likely end in L and Simeon interfering, and while Morgyn was technically stronger than both, they were very good at what they did. Sheer force wasn't either of their styles, but it didn't need to be. With Simeon and L behind the idiot, Morgyn could very likely take Aine down, and the thing was, Aine would know that.

There was a reason, of course, that L hadn't mysteriously disappeared like Keisha had.

"Does Morgyn know this?" Lilith asked.

"I haven't mentioned it," Ezio answered. "Morgyn's likely still got an idea of Aine in mind that I can't quite fight."

"You might be surprised on that one," Lilith replied. "Try it. Just once. And if Morgyn refuses to believe you, then, don't push it. But I think this is something you two need to talk about."

Ezio released a sigh, scooting down. "I'd rather pretend it never happened," he said. "I wish Aine wasn't that terrible. I wish Morgyn could keep that idea of her. And I wish this wasn't happening." Unfortunately, he couldn't change anything, only move forward with what he had. Right now, what he had was a bunch of crappy cards. And a distinct inability to breathe sometimes.

"I wish all of that, too," Lilith said. "You know, you can sit this one out. You don't have to be involved in this mess. Caleb and I, and Morgyn, L and Simeon, we can handle it."

Ezio snorted. "No," he said. "I can't just _sit this one out_. Because we don't leave Morgyn alone. Because where Morgyn goes, I go. Because magic realm is _my_ home too."

Lilith made a face, and sighed. "You're awfully stubborn sometimes."

"Only sometimes?" Ezio asked.

Lilith couldn't help the laugh. She supposed he had a point, there. He was usually quite stubborn indeed, but that was part of what made Lilith like him. She was awfully attracted to much louder personalities than her own, because she was always looking for someone that was more like the person she wished she was.

* * *

As he was alone in the kitchen, it was quiet, save for his cheerful whistling as he got the stove lit. Ezio needed a very specific diet, one that was even more clear now that he'd seen a doctor and gotten science-backed guidelines to work with. They were fairly simplistic restrictions, guidelines that Caleb could very easily work around and within.

It wasn't as if he thought Ezio wouldn't be eating very well. Morgyn and Drake took his diet very seriously, even if Ezio didn't. It was just that Caleb liked to feel useful, and this was one of the things he could do. He was even fairly good at it.

Neither of the Embers were very good at taking care of themselves. That seemed to be something that didn't run in the family, but rather took its time getting to know them both quite well. As distressing as it was, Caleb had learnt to simply go with the flow of it, because getting upset about it would merely serve to be upsetting.

Amid him working on making something, he heard footsteps behind him, and then someone hugged him. Caleb looked down at the arms wrapped around his waist, and then looked behind him. He could just see the blond waves at his back. Caleb sighed softly, and then reached down and detached Morgyn from him, tugging the blond around in front of him.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Everything," Morgyn answered. "Ezio _died_ , Caleb, and he still might because of the strain it took to kill that vampire, and… I just don't know how to deal with this. I didn't, at first, thinking maybe it'd just go away, and I had other things to worry about but it didn't go away. It got worse, maybe. I mean what if he _does_ die, how am I supposed to - what am I going to -"

"Morgyn, no," Caleb interrupted. "Don't think like that. He's stronger than he seems, he is, and he'll get through this."

Morgyn went quiet, blinking rapidly, and then the blond's head shook. "We keep saying stuff like that," Morgyn said. "Just to get through this one more time, and someday… that won't be true. I don't know that I want to keep saying that and lie to someone by sheer chance, even if that someone is only me."

Caleb released a breath, taking hold of Morgyn's hands. "He killed the vampire that did it, though," Caleb said. "Something like this may never happen again."

The blond's head shook. "No," Morgyn said, looking down at the floor. "This isn't over, I can feel it. L agrees with me."

Caleb made a face. "L never agrees with anyone," he said, confused.

"I know," Morgyn answered. Morgyn's green gaze flicked up to meet Caleb's grey eyes. "You be careful, too," Morgyn said. "If whatever this is is after vampires, you're a vampire too, and my best friend. Those are kind of dangerous things to be, at the moment."

Caleb snorted. "Don't worry about me," he said. "I know it doesn't seem like it, but I _can_ take care of myself."

"I think I'd worry about anyone about now," Morgyn admitted. "It's hard not to, when it feels like everything's falling apart and nothing's going right, and Ezio's still a - a - I don't even know what to call him… a self-sacrificial idiot or something."

Caleb laughed, and then attempted to smother it.

"What?" Morgyn asked, one eyebrow raising.

"It's nothing," Caleb said.

"No, what?"

Caleb tilted his head to one side, and then sighed. "It's just, you two are a lot alike."

"What's _that_ supposed to mean?" Morgyn asked, hands resting on either hip.

"It means… if the roles were reversed, we would be in this _exact_ situation, just which of you is in bed would be switched."

Oh. That was probably true, yes. Certainly, Morgyn couldn't argue with it, and instead simply gave Caleb a very unamused look.

Caleb tried not to laugh again. "Hey, anyone that knows you two wouldn't be surprised by it," he said. "And there's nothing wrong with loving each other that much." Perhaps they could both use to figure out who they were _apart_ , but that was maybe none of his business. "And it is also okay to be upset."

Morgyn took a breath in, looking a hair distressed for a moment. "Is it?" the blond asked softly. "Because it feels like one of us should be the strong one. It's not going to be Ezio."

"No," Caleb answered. "But I think that only counts when you're _around_ Ezio."

"I'd figure that'd be annoying and troublesome for you," Morgyn said.

"I like the Morgyn that has feelings," Caleb answered quietly.

Morgyn smiled, for a fleeting moment. And the tears welled up in green eyes. "I'm not ready to lose him," the blond whispered. "Not like this." Perhaps, not ever, in any way. And yet, times like these, Morgyn felt the crushing pressure of how close Ezio kept getting to dying, and how little the blond could truly do to stop it. It remained, even now, an enemy Morgyn had no idea how to fight. "I have this constant need to fix it, to do _something_ , and I _can't_." It was driving Morgyn about nuts.

Caleb's expression fell, just a bit. He supposed, something like that, it would bother the blond a good deal. Morgyn didn't do very well with waiting things out, the blond was an _action_ sort of person. Yet, there was no other choice, and it was doubly upsetting given that Ezio was _extremely_ important to the sage.

Caleb decided not to say anything. Instead, he moved over, wrapping his arms around Morgyn, and simply held the blond. For a moment, Morgyn seemed confused, blinking rapidly, but then the blond leaned into the contact. Eventually, Morgyn's arms wrapped around Caleb's waist, and even though neither of them said anything, they spoke just fine. Neither needed words.

It was surprising when Morgyn realised the contact wasn't unwanted, nor unpleasant. The blond was the sort of person that was outgoing and energetic, loved talking to people and seeing new faces, but still kept everyone a certain amount of distance. Letting people too close too quickly was a recipe for disaster, and perhaps a consistent migraine.

Caleb had never been at that distance, now that Morgyn was thinking of it. And for some reason, this realisation failed to scare the blond. It should. Of course it should. Yet the only thing going through Morgyn's head was how nice his hair smelled.

* * *

One thing Ezio had noticed, Drake had gone jumpier and more defensive than Ezio had been expecting him to. As it was, he hardly left Ezio's room, and when he did, it wasn't for very long. Ezio wasn't sure how to take that. Of course, in hindsight, that sort of reaction seemed like the only potential reaction Drake could have had. Of course he was being jumpy and defensive. Ezio had almost died, theoretically still could.

If their roles were reversed, most likely, Ezio would be doing the same thing.

As it was, Ezio spent a lot of time sleeping. He got up in the morning, ate, took his medication, and then went back to sleep. Occasionally, he woke back up, spent some time talking to Morgyn and Drake, had a shower here and there, ate some more, and slept again. These days were boring, truly, but it was better that he was bored than he was dead. (Well, he could argue with that assessment, but he wouldn't.)

Soon enough, Drake came back, settling back into his chair. Ezio rolled over, and reached out to take his hand. Drake looked surprised, but he didn't argue any. Probably, he found it about as soothing to be in contact with Ezio as Ezio did.

Neither said anything, for a long time. Nothing needed to be said. The only thing Ezio needed, he felt, was to know Morgyn and Drake were there. Even when they disagreed with each other, they did still care about each other, and that was the important part. No matter how much they might argue and fight, they still had each other's backs. Ezio didn't know what he'd do without that kind of support. He'd likely be a very different person.

"Are you feeling okay?" Drake asked.

Ezio grumbled a bit. "Still tired," he said. He paused a moment, as his breathing messed up somewhat. Drake moved to stand up, but Ezio held his hand up, and a few moments later, his breathing went back to normal.

"It still startles me when you do that," Drake said.

"I know," Ezio answered. "I'd say you get used to it, but, maybe you never will. It's been long enough, one would figure you'd have done it eventually."

"One would be wrong, I suppose," Drake said, looking amused.

They went quiet, again, and Ezio thought of things he _could_ be doing, right now, if he had the ability to stand on his own. There were always things that he thought perhaps he might _want_ to do, only to find that he couldn't, for one reason or another, though it usually had something to do with his illness. There was once a time when he wondered if someday he'd get better, and overcome it. He could always ask Drake to turn him into a vampire, he knew. Drake would, and it should stop his illness from affecting him. Ezio didn't think he'd ever be able to _stop_ being a vampire, but that was very difficult anyway.

He didn't know if he could live that way. If staying alive was worth the trouble of feeding on something as horribly impractical as _plasma_. Everything goes away, someday. Even people. It was sad, and yet, it was also very good. Nothing lasted forever, not the good things, and not the bad things. No one knew what came after. Even Ezio didn't know. But he didn't think that, whatever it was, it was any worse than what was here.

No creature on earth was more cruel and terrible than a human.

Ezio shifted around again. "How are you?" he asked, softly.

Drake looked at him like he'd said something wildly preposterous. Ezio supposed, in his mind, maybe he had. "You should worry more about yourself," Drake said.

"I asked about you," Ezio answered. "I wouldn't ask if I didn't care."

Drake snorted softly, and then shrugged one shoulder. "Worried," he said. "But I'm always worried about you."

Yes, Ezio had indeed noticed that. It was concerning for a few different reasons, but he supposed the only time Drake wouldn't worry about him is when Ezio was gone. That was almost depressing to think about, so, he didn't. That was the kind of person Drake was. A little bit paranoid, particularly when it came to Ezio.

He could go around in his head about how he still didn't understand Drake and his weird attachment to him, but he'd done that plenty already.

"It'll be okay, yeah?" Ezio said.

"You know," Drake answered, "whenever someone says that, it's decidedly _not_ okay."

Ezio snorted. "Come on, I just need some rest time, and it'll be like nothing happened at all."

Drake eyed him through his lashes, for a while, and then snorted. "You didn't come back screaming," he said, "but I don't think I'll forget that all the same."

Ezio released a breath. "You can't protect me from _everything_."

"I know," Drake said. "But you can't protect Morgyn from everything and still you'll try."

"That's not very fair," Ezio argued.

" _You're_ not terribly fair," Drake said.

Ezio sighed, closing his eyes for a moment. "I don't want to argue with you, right now," he said. Both fell quiet. Ezio supposed that wasn't very fair of him, either. If one of them was too busy chasing after Morgyn and trying to make sure the blond didn't get into too much trouble, it stood to reason someone _else_ needed to follow the other Ember around and do the same. Still, Drake wasted a lot of time doing that, if one asked him. No one asked him, of course.

Besides, he didn't tend to like it very much when someone questioned how he lived his life. As if it was wrong somehow. No one knew what it was like to be him. No one knew why he made the decisions that he made. Sometimes, even _he_ didn't understand.

That was probably a personal failing, really.

"That wasn't very fair," Ezio said. "I'm sorry."

Drake shook his head. "No, you're right, really. I just - I can't help it, not easily." Ezio was now, and had been for a long time, the most important thing to Drake, just like Morgyn was the most important thing to Ezio. Drake supposed, if he explained that way, Ezio would understand, but Drake was afraid of saying anything. Of losing the easy relationship they had with each other now, and making things more awkward than they needed to be.

Even if this was as close as Drake ever got, it was good enough.

* * *

He hadn't touched the mystery book in a long time. Other things had been on his mind, of course, but Ezio felt like he was getting closer to uncovering _something_ , and it was important. Of course, he wasn't sure if that was his own feelings, or the residual influence of the spirits that were paying far too much attention to what he was doing. Sometimes, it made him a little nervous, but mostly, he brushed it off.

He had things to do, and whether the spirits approved or didn't approve of it, for whatever reason they had, it was no business of his. Those were _their_ problem, not his.

In the meantime, he had translating to do, and the book was as temperamental as it ever was. Ezio stared at the page he was on, written in that particular language he could and could not understand, and then glared at it. This game was fast becoming grating, and yet he was very aware there wasn't much for it. He had to play the game, or the book wouldn't tell him what it had to say.

It was still debatable if what it had to say would even be useful, but these were questions that he figured out the answer to some other time. In the interim, translating this paragraph seemed like a better idea. It was talking about the ocean of stars again, but the word it was using where 'stars' should be was different this time. If he was guessing right, it was better translated as 'noise.' This was apparently an ocean of noise. Of course, there were suggestions in other texts in this book that the term for 'chaos' was 'noise' in this language.

An ocean of _chaos_?

Ezio wasn't sure how accurate that translation was, but he started to read the passage with 'chaos' in place of 'stars.' In the time before time, there was nothing but the ocean of chaos. Everything that is, that was, and that ever will be, was formed of the ocean of chaos, when primordial elements, that of frost and fire, collided in the ocean of chaos, and from their union sprung existence, and _magic_.

And from magic, came the elder races, the vanir, the aesir, the pixies and sprites and woodland nymphs, the elementals, the genies, and the dragons. And, one day, from the chaos sprang humans, and they were the most notable children of the ocean of chaos. So unpredictable and random are they, the ocean of chaos is attracted to them, and they to it. Humans call to the chaos, and chaos calls to humans, that someday they will be reunited as one.

Strands of the ocean of chaos began to leak into existence, but all that exists, when coming into contact with chaos, is instantly erased, melted back into the pool of stars, to be made anew as something else. The vanir, seeing this as a threat to existence and the world that the mortals inhabited, a threat to _life_ , locked away the ocean of chaos from the rest of the universe, in hopes of putting the mortal realms' eventual end off for as long as they can, that life may flourish, for at least a short time. It is said that this is why mortals don't live very long; their soul is eventually drawn back to the ocean of chaos, to start again.

Ezio's gaze narrowed at the page. It cut off, the language changing, after that, but he could _feel_ that there was more to that story. He cursed under his breath, setting the book down and leaning back against his pillows, stacked against his headboard. This damned thing remained temperamental, but he shouldn't be surprised.

He wondered, however, what the ocean of chaos had to do with anything he was dealing with. Why the spirits seemed to want him to know about it so much. As he wondered, he could hear them whispering from beyond the shadows. Their words were indecipherable, at first. As he listened, though, Ezio started figuring out what they were saying, because the words became more clear.

' _You will lose yourself_ -'

' _Lose yourself to the chaos_ -'

' _You will_ -'

' _Power corrupts_ -'

' _Just like we did._ '

' _Lose yourself_ -'

' _Power always corrupts._ '

' _And it will always corrupt_.'

Ezio's eyebrows furrowed together, a distinct frown crossing his face. Of course, power often _did_ corrupt, but Ezio didn't believe that it always did. Some managed not to fall to the temptation of having power. Some managed to continue not to _want_ power. Ezio didn't think that he ever would.

 _Unless it was for Morgyn_ , a voice whispered, in the back of his mind. And the startling part was that he couldn't argue with the voice in his head, not this time. It was quite right, and he knew it.


	21. If This All Came Down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, my dears, you have survived to the end of Tell Me Lies. Congratulations. Next up, we do the interlude between TML and the rewrite of Throw Me Away, and then I probably drop off the planet for six years and come back and rewrite TMA. LOL  
> Okay, I hope not that long, but yeah I've done it before, sad to say. I do love this story and I will see it to its end, however, I promise.  
> Oblivion, Thirty Seconds to Mars, one of Ezio's favourite songs. Next I break everyone's heart. c:  
> Once again, chapter 22 is the story's ending, 36 years later. Then, we go backward a year, and go through the explanation of that ending. So you will probably be confused, it's okay. I may have that up tomorrow because they've been DYING to write it since probably the middle of original TMA, ngl.
> 
> I lied. 22 is literally almost done, gimme an hour.

He was still constantly tired. By now, Ezio had gotten accustomed to being constantly tired. That was his life, being constantly tired. There were still many questions on his mind about that ocean of chaos, and what it had to do with present events, because, he knew the spirits wouldn't _insist_ on something so intently if there was no reason for it. There was _something_ important about it that he was meant to learn or come to understand. It took a lot for a spirit to influence the material world. They didn't do it just because.

The reasons why continued to be elusive, however. Likely, until he either figured it out for himself, or the spirits felt like telling him what he was supposed to be learning, he wouldn't know. Some part of him wondered if he _wanted_ to know. Maybe this was something that he was better off not knowing, but then, it seemed silly to refuse to learn something that could prove very useful later on. He'd be very disappointed in himself if he refused to use this opportunity, and ended up in a bad situation later because he didn't know something he should.

It was quiet downstairs, thankfully, and today he'd made it down. Ezio had somewhat sprawled across a couch, reading whatever books he could find. Since the last stint with the mystery book of leather-bound goodness, Ezio hadn't bothered with it. The darn thing hadn't seen fit to allow him to read anything else, anyway, and he still needed to focus on recovering.

He thought about taking Lilith's advice, and talking to Morgyn about Aine. Ezio didn't want to ruin the idea of her that Morgyn had. In that case, he'd be the terrible one, but if she ruined her own image… Of course, there was the troublesome possibility that leaving her alone too long could in and of itself be dangerous. He had no idea what she was up to, and if they left her alone too long, she could turn very deadly.

The thing with Aine was, she might _seem_ kind of stupid, but she was about as intelligent as he was. If he didn't play his cards right, she could end up outsmarting him. Ezio would have to stay on his toes the entire way, or this would end in disaster. Well, that was nothing terribly new.

The peace was broken, as L came into the room, holding two cups of steaming hot _something_. Judging by the scent, Ezio was going to go with, it was most likely tea. She set one cup down on the side table, then gently picked up Ezio's legs, sat down on the couch, and rested them on her lap. She then handed Ezio the other cup. It smelled strongly of mint.

"What's this for?" he asked, taking the cup.

"A good excuse to come talk to you," L answered, carefully picking her cup back up.

Ezio looked surprised; then again, he _was_ talking to L. She tended to be blunt, yes. "What about?" he asked.

"I was just wondering if you've figured out who _you_ are, or have you been too busy focusing on Morgyn that you have no idea?" L asked in turn.

Ezio made a face. He supposed that was a fair thing to wonder. He did spend a lot more time worrying about Morgyn and Morgyn's problems than himself and his own. That was because, Morgyn's problems were exponentially easier to deal with, even if only because many of them had no solution.

L released a short sigh. "Of course," she said.

"I have an _idea_ ," Ezio said. "Maybe a few ideas. I just haven't had the time to mess with them much." That much was to be expected, given Morgyn was having a gender crisis. Or had been _having_ a gender crisis. For the most part, it seemed to have taken care of itself. Morgyn was starting to come to terms with not being entirely female, albeit very slowly, but it wasn't as big of a deal anymore as it'd first been.

Ezio had expected a little more fight out of it. Because Aine had spent a _very_ long time suppressing the Morgyn that wasn't female, much to Ezio's annoyance. The point was, Morgyn didn't know how to be anything else. Ezio was proud of the blond, for making it even this far. It was further than Morgyn had gotten before, that much was sure.

"I'm glad you're starting to figure it out, at the very least," L said. She paused a moment, taking a drink of tea. Ezio did the same. "Of course, self-discovery, self-invention, these are the same thing, in some sense or another. You can be whatever it is you decide you want to be."

Ezio snorted. "It's not that great, I don't think."

"The greatest things in life began with the smallest of steps," L answered. "It may seem insignificant now, but later, it will prove much greater. Sometimes, Ezio, our lives are the sum of small things."

Ezio gave her a look, but then shook his head slightly. "It's not like I'm going to suddenly start wearing skirts or something."

"I don't know," L answered, smiling. "You'd look good in one, I should think."

"The fact that you didn't have to think about that worries me," Ezio said.

L didn't say anything to that, simply smiled again. "Well, for what it's worth, you should keep pursuing whatever it is you are. Or whatever it is you want to be. Both, perhaps?"

Ezio took another drink of tea. "It's not all that great," he said. "I haven't been suppressing myself for the sake of keeping the peace or anything like that. I'm just a bit late to the party, that's all."

"Haven't you been?" L asked, her tone serious. "I think you could also use to learn to listen to yourself."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Ezio asked.

L didn't answer with words, instead simply giving him a look. She then scooted out from underneath his legs, took her teacup, and sauntered off out into the hallway, leaving Ezio a bit befuddled, and with perhaps a few internal questions.

* * *

Something was not quite right. Ezio tilted his head one way, then the other. He wasn't sure _what_ was wrong, just that something was. His eyes were lined in black, a slight dusting of silver across his eyelids, and his lips painted black, but something still seemed off.

It was going to bother him. As he stared at himself in the bathroom mirror, though, it didn't start making any more sense than it had made before. This was going to bother him.

Knocking on his bedroom door distracted him. Grey eyes turned from the mirror to the door, and he reached over and pulled it open. "It's open," he called into his room.

"Hey, sorry to bother you," Morgyn's voice came, the bedroom door opening. "But I-what the hell are you wearing?"

Ezio tensed up slightly at the blond's words. "Does it look that bad?"

"No! Yes. Wait, I don't feel like that question is fair," Morgyn said. "It's fine. … it's just, maybe red's not your colour."

Ezio glanced down at the shirt he was wearing, loose fitting, red satin, and lined in white lace. Then, he looked back up at Morgyn. "You think so?"

"Yeah," Morgyn said, closing the door and crossing into the room fully. The blond turned towards Ezio's closet and started going through his clothes. "You're much better suited to darker colours, it kind of sets off your eyes. Also makes you look more tanned than you are, which, by the way, I'm incessantly jealous of." Morgyn was just saying.

Ezio stepped out of the bathroom, flushing a slight bit pinkish. If Morgyn said so. Ezio, of course, didn't really understand why.

"Your skin's hopelessly pretty," Morgyn said. "You have no idea how many acne outbreaks I've had to fight in my life and you come along with this gorgeous smooth skin with no effort at all, yeesh… One of us got the short end of the puberty stick."

Ezio laughed. "Morgyn, puberty was centuries ago," he said. "That's even a plural."

"I know," Morgyn said. "Doesn't mean I'm not still jealous _plural_ centuries later. Now, let's see what we've got here…" The answer seemed to be, not much. Men's clothing didn't tend to come in _colour_ , but in Ezio's case, that wasn't a bad thing. It was an issue for _Morgyn_ , but not Ezio. And Morgyn just wanted a few nice burgundies and maroons to work with. Was that too much to ask? Preferably not frilly or lacey or silky. That was too much to ask.

Eventually, however, Morgyn squeaked in excitement. "Wait wait, I found something that'll work!" the blond said, and then Morgyn popped out of the closet and handed Ezio a bundle of black and navy blue.

Ezio looked at it, but then took it. "Are you sure?" he asked.

"Don't question your twin's sense of aesthetics," Morgyn said. "Go on, shoo. If nothing else, I've been more fashionable than you since plural centuries ago."

" _Hey_ ," Ezio grumbled. He did, however, turn around, and tug his shirt off.

Morgyn squeaked, and turned the other way.

"It's just my _back_ , Morgyn," Ezio said, amused.

"I know," Morgyn said. "It's just awkward, a little."

"If you say so," Ezio answered, fiddling with the black and navy shirt and getting it on.

Morgyn huffed slightly, glancing over one shoulder. Incidentally, the blond caught sight of the lines of black on Ezio's back, before turning around. "What'd you get that for, anyway?" Morgyn asked.

"Get what?" Ezio asked in turn.

"Your tattoo."

Oh, right. "It's a Seal of Solomon," Ezio answered. "Surrounded in stars and such. It's got mystical meaning to non-magical people, but I got it more because it was pretty."

"Didn't it hurt?" Morgyn asked.

"Nope," Ezio said, smirking. "It was nuzzled on by kitty cats."

"Oh haha," Morgyn said, making a face at the wall.

"You're the one saying silly things," Ezio argued. He got his shirt on, though, and turned around. "Is that better then?" he asked.

Morgyn turned around, too, and head tilted slightly. "Yeah," the blond said. "That's much better, I think at least. It takes some work to look good in red, don't feel too bad."

"You look decent in red," Ezio said.

"Yeah, and, I can't really tell you _how_ ," Morgyn answered, giggling.

Ezio went quiet, for a moment, and then rocked back on his heels. "You know Caleb loves you, don't you?" he asked.

Morgyn blinked, head tilting to one side in surprise. "I hadn't thought about it," Morgyn answered.

"Why not?" Ezio asked.

Morgyn shrugged. "You can't question my love life, or lack thereof, until you figure your shit out with Drake."

"I've _figured my shit out_ , as you so _eloquently_ put it," Ezio said, moving around the blond to rummage around in his closet. "Things are just difficult. It's not so easy as saying, and now we're going to suddenly be lovers." They had history, and that same history that bound them together also had other, curious affects. Ezio wasn't stupid, though often he wished he was, and he knew that Drake held it against himself that he hadn't been able to stop Jean.

Of course he hadn't. He was only a few years older than Ezio, and Ezio was sixteen at the time, plus he was a bastard son. And all the same, sometimes Ezio looked at him, and saw Jean. While that wasn't fair, it was what it was. It took them so long to become friends, too, and Ezio didn't want to lose his friend along the way, either.

"You know," Morgyn said, fidgeting slightly, "I think I could love Caleb back."

"So do it," Ezio said, raising an eyebrow.

"We're more complicated than that, too," Morgyn said. For a number of reasons, starting with how awkward that'd be and sometimes Morgyn came home smelling like another man, and something told the blond Caleb wouldn't be terribly _thrilled_ with that. It happened less and less frequently, now, but it still happened.

"See?" Ezio said, glancing over his shoulder. "You can't just figure it out and suddenly kiss and live happily ever after, life isn't a fairy tale." And thank the stars for that one, fairy tales were _terrible_.

Morgyn snorted softly.

"Ugh, I need something besides suits, and you could use some things that aren't frilly," Ezio said. "Hey, want to go clothes shopping later?"

Morgyn made a face. "Sure, I guess."

"Only problem I guess is the money," Ezio said.

Morgyn was quiet a moment, and then head-tilted to one side. "I've got money," the blond said. "Don't worry about it."

"Oh, really?" Ezio asked. "You're sure you don't mind? I can figure something out."

"You're my _brother_ ," Morgyn said, smiling. "Of course I don't mind."

"Thank you, seriously," Ezio said, and ducked back into the closet.

And Morgyn was weirdly struck by how he didn't ask any questions, didn't demand to know where the money had come from, just trusted in Morgyn.

* * *

Sometimes, Ezio missed the breeze, but there never was one here. He walked along the stone fence, around a bed of flowers, and Lilith walked along on the fence, trying to keep her balance. She thought, sometimes, that she wanted to get into the fashion business. Ezio wasn't going to discourage her, but he didn't think she'd be able to stand it. It was fast-paced and exciting, but too much so for her.

"You look good these days," Lilith said, looking over her shoulder at him. He was in all black, his eyes lined in kohl and lips painted black. It was becoming Ezio's new normal. No one batted an eye at it.

"Thank you," Ezio answered. "It's mostly thanks to you. I probably wouldn't have had the nerve to try it if you hadn't been dark coloured for years already."

Lilith giggled. "Glad to pass it onto you," she said. "You and black are one of those heavenly combinations, you know? You can just _feel_ nature being happy with it."

"I wouldn't go _that_ far," Ezio said.

"I would," Lilith replied. "Actually, I believe I just did."

Ezio looked amused, his features scrunching up. "Hey, how's Caleb doing?" he asked.

"Okay," Lilith answered, her tone drawling somewhat. "Rather well considering _some_ spellcaster came and suicided in his arms, of course. It could've gone worse." Lilith couldn't think of how right this second, but, it could've gone worse. Well, no, Caleb could've been truly traumatised by it, and he hadn't been. He took it in better stride than Lilith would've expected of him. Caleb was getting better at handling stress and shock in constructive ways. She was very proud.

"Yeah…" Ezio said, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck. "I wanted to tell him I'm sorry about that, but he left before I got the chance to."

Lilith snorted. "That's how Caleb deals with that sort of thing constructively," she said, holding her arms out as she balanced on the fence. "I'll tell him to stop by so you can talk to him properly."

"Could you?" Ezio asked. "I'd appreciate that."

"Sure, not a problem," Lilith replied. "So, what's next for you? What are you going to do about Aine? Did you talk to Morgyn?"

"I haven't," Ezio said. "I don't want to ruin the idea of her that Morgyn has. Even if it'd be for the best, you know, it's hard to shatter someone's beliefs like that. It's hard to be the one whose beliefs are shattered that way, too."

Lilith tilted her head to one side, humming thoughtfully. "You mean, you don't want to hurt Morgyn."

"Yeah," Ezio said. "I guess that's it. We shouldn't be hurting each other, you know?"

"Oh, I understand," Lilith answered. "I feel the same way with Caleb. He's even very easy to hurt, in many ways, it makes it more stressful than it maybe should be. The thing is though, sometimes the only way to learn something is through hurt. And that's not fair, necessarily, no. But it is a reality."

Ezio released a sigh, looking away. Some things had to hurt, he did know that. It didn't make him _like_ it, but he did _know_ it. It wasn't like Ezio made a habit of causing Morgyn unnecessary pain, but this would likely be one of the things that were necessary. If Aine was after the All, like Kat asking about it implied she was, then she could do almost _anything_ trying to find it.

Aine would know, of course, that the Sages had no more idea of where the All was than she did. She'd been a Sage once, of course. But that simply meant that her goals were liable to be something more akin to…

"Hey Lilith," he said.

"What's up?" she asked.

"If you wanted to find something, but you didn't know where exactly it was, just in a particular room, what would you do?" Ezio asked.

Lilith blinked in surprise, but then shrugged. "Rip apart the room, probably. If it's in there somewhere, no sense wondering where it is."

Of course. One didn't find things by just wondering where they were. So most likely, Aine would want access to magic realm. How on earth she thought she was going to get _that_ , that Ezio didn't know. If he had to _guess_ , however, he was going with, she was going to end up threatening the Sages, or at least Magic Realm. Getting to them might be a little difficult, because they never left magic realm, and at this point, Ezio thought that was for the best.

Of course, trying to tell Morgyn what to do would end in disaster. It would be best if he simply didn't say anything at all. And with any luck, leaving it alone, it would go the course it should on its own.

At the very least, it'd go the course it was _meant_ to.

"For now," Ezio said, "I think I'm keeping my head down. I don't want to be the one that condemns Aine. I always am. For once, I'd rather not have to explain anything or try and make some sense of where I get my hunches. I'm sick of doing it."

"That's fair," Lilith said. "But it could be a set back, too. The longer magic realm goes not knowing who their enemy is, the less time they have to prepare for it."

"As if they'll be sitting on their laurels the entire time," Ezio said. "Magic realm will be getting stronger just the same as she will. And I guess we will see which of us ends up strongest and most intelligent."

Lilith snorted. "I'm not sure that's how that'll work out."

"I'm willing to bet it is," Ezio said.

"Your lives?" Lilith asked.

"If I wasn't willing to bet our lives," Ezio replied, "we'd be having a very different conversation."

Lilith _almost_ wondered about that statement, but then, Morgyn was more important to Ezio than his own life was. Yes, they would be having a very different conversation, indeed.

* * *

There were times when the candlelight wasn't enough to read by. In times like those, Morgyn simply created a contained, small burst of _inferniate_ , above one palm, and held it, using it for light. It probably wasn't very practical, but Morgyn was proud of the ability to manipulate an _inferniate_ in such a manner. Ezio was a master of _chillio_ , and Morgyn had mastered _inferniate_. What a pair they made.

Today was one of those days when the blond had to create a burst of _inferniate_. Morgyn was about a third of the way through this book. Of course, it was the three hundredth time the blond had read the book in question, but, who was paying attention to such silly things? Not Morgyn.

One niggling little annoyance remained, however. No matter _how_ Morgyn laid the book down-in the blond's lap, on the side table, on the couch armrest-eventually, blond waves fell into Morgyn's face. This was an annoyance, because every time it happened, Morgyn had to vanish the flame long enough to brush the blond back, and then recreate it to be able to see again.

By the fifth or sixth time, and truly, it was amazing Morgyn had found the patience to make it _that_ many times, the blond screeched softly, shoved a bookmark into the book and set it on the table, and then stood up. Morgyn shuffled over to the desk against the wall, rummaging through the drawers. Somewhere in there was a metal ring with a bunch of hair ties on it. Given Morgyn's hair fell halfway down the blond's back, it made sense to have a number of hair ties. Actually, most of them were collected over time. Some were borrowed from other people, and never given back for one reason or another.

Incidentally, though, it wasn't the ring of hair ties that Morgyn found. The blond squinted into the drawer, in thought, and then head tilted to one side. Then, Morgyn looked up at the mirror on the wall, reached up, and pulled all the blond waves up. It didn't look _bad_ … just strange, that was all. Morgyn thought that it'd be something to get used to, but something that Morgyn _could_ get used to.

And maybe it'd be less _annoying_ to take care of.

Morgyn took the scissors in the drawer, turned on one heel, and marched into the bathroom.

There was so many blond tufts of hair on the bathroom floor by the time Morgyn was done, it seemed like it'd never be gotten off the floor. When was the last time Morgyn's hair had been cut, anyway? The sage vaguely remembered wanting to grow it out, but, in hindsight, now, Morgyn had no idea why. Maybe because that was what women _did_ , they had long hair and were elegant and graceful and pretty, but Morgyn didn't feel like the blond was _any_ of those things. Morgyn was the type of person that giggle-snorted, literally, at stupid your mama jokes.

It looked weirder than Morgyn had anticipated. The blond simply stared at the results in the mirror. Something was off about it, but Morgyn wasn't real sure what.

"Hey Morgyn," Ezio's voice came, from the bedroom, and a knocking sound.

Morgyn glanced down at the counter. "Come in," Morgyn said, then took a breath in, and then headed out into the bedroom.

Ezio opened the door, coming in. "Do you happen to-" and the words died on his black-painted lips.

Morgyn couldn't help the fidget. "It looks weird, doesn't it?"

"No," Ezio said. "No, it looks really great."

"You're not just saying that, right?" Morgyn asked.

"Hey, I will do a lot of things for you," Ezio said, "but lie to you about how your hair looks isn't really on the list. It is a little uneven though, where are the scissors?"

Morgyn wordlessly handed them to Ezio. He took them, and then pulled Morgyn back into the bathroom. The bathroom floor was already littered with bits of blond ha, may as well keep it to the bathroom.

"I'll fix it here really fast," Ezio said, reaching up and snipping little bits and pieces that were out of place.

Morgyn was quiet, while he worked on it back there. The blond looked up at the mirror, watching him work. Incidentally, Morgyn noticed that, they looked even _more_ alike, now. Some part of Morgyn was glad for that. The blond always _wanted_ to look more like Ezio, and be more like him, and act more like him, and know how to say the right things like he did, and…

Ezio was Morgyn's hero. He'd never know that, because Morgyn would never tell him.

"You're not mad, are you?" Morgyn asked.

Ezio glanced up at the mirror, meeting Morgyn's green gaze with confused grey eyes for just a moment. Then, he looked back down at Morgyn's hair. "Why would I be mad?" he asked.

Morgyn shrugged a shoulder, glancing at the wall. "I just. I look more like you, now," Morgyn said. "And, I don't know. I figure that's a bad thing." They already _did_ look a lot alike, and maybe Ezio wanted an identity that Morgyn wasn't part of, in any way.

All Morgyn heard back there was the scissors snipping, and a quiet release of breath. Ezio eventually stopped messing with Morgyn's hair, however, running his fingers through it and getting the loose bits of hair out of it, and then styling it to one side, like his was.

Grey eyes met green in the mirror again. Black painted lips turned up in a smile. "No Morgyn," Ezio said. "You look more like you now."

Somehow, his words made Morgyn's heart twist, and the blond suddenly couldn't see straight. Morgyn turned around, arms wrapping around Ezio. Ezio silently moved to hug Morgyn back, one hand reaching up to pet the blond's hair.

Morgyn had no idea what the blond would do without this idiot.

* * *

These dreams with spirits in them were starting to grate his nerves. Probably, the worst part was, he'd only had _one_ of them, thus far. At least, that he remembered. He could hear the little girl spirit, giggling in the twisting darkness, but this time, he didn't need the child's guidance to get where he was meant to go. Somehow, he just _knew_ , this time.

He glanced down at his hands, his fingers spreading out. Bits of frost began to snake across his skin, but he didn't let it bother him. It was debatable, if the frost could kill him or not. He couldn't honestly say that he cared if it did.

He followed the pathway, walking into the swirls of sentient darkness. It seemed weirdly pleased, to him, and he wasn't certain how or why. Then again, if it was a memory, as the spirit that was here had said, it probably wanted something from him. Being remembered might be what that something it wanted was, but Ezio couldn't say for certain.

How was one meant to remember something that happened in a completely different lifetime? That was for someone smarter than he to figure out, at the moment.

As he came upon a landing, making his way through the darkness, 'Keisha' came out of it, into view. He stopped beside her, but she was staring at something beyond the darkness. He followed her gaze, but all he could see was more darkness.

"Of course," 'Keisha' said. "It doesn't want you to see beyond it."

Ezio glanced at her, from the corner of his eye. She had aged somewhat, since the last time he saw her, and he had to wonder why. He wasn't sure he had the time to ask that question, so he didn't. "What did you want to talk about?" he asked, instead.

'Keisha' snorted. "So business-like," she said. "You'll make a lovely corporate drone someday."

He wasn't sure how to take that, making a face, but he said nothing about that.

"One last warning," 'Keisha' explained. "And then I will leave you to live your life, in relative peace. At least, from me. But first, why have you _really_ not told Morgyn about Aine?"

Ezio's eyes widened, slightly, and then narrowed in thought, casting to the side. Eventually, he shook his head, looking back up at her. "I don't really know," he said.

'Keisha' took a breath in. "I see," she said. "Do you want to know what I think?"

"Yes," Ezio answered, immediately.

"I think, it's because Aine is the only person or thing that could possibly drive a wedge between you and Morgyn," 'Keisha' said. "She almost did, did she not? She almost turned Morgyn against you. It's almost a miracle she didn't. I wonder why that is?"

"I don't know that, either," Ezio replied softly, gaze falling to the glass-like structure under them.

"Do you know what the All is, Ezio?" 'Keisha' asked.

Ezio looked confused, but shrugged one shoulder. "The All is the source of spellcasters' magic," he said. "Where magic comes from, and where it must return." Wait, hadn't he heard that somewhere before? Ezio's eyebrows furrowed, his head tilting to the side.

"I would suggest," 'Keisha' said, "that you start there. Learning to understand what it is you're protecting is a good start for anyone. And there are things about the All that you don't know, that perhaps you should. Ezio, the All is where everything begins. And you will be where it all ends."

That was not cryptic whatsoever, no. He looked even more confused, and then grey eyes narrowed. "Who are you, exactly?" he asked.

"Ah, yes," 'Keisha' said. "I suppose that _would_ be a question you'd like an answer to. You may call me Makana, and the best way of describing my role to you is calling myself your spirit guide."

"I didn't know I had one of those," Ezio said.

"Everyone does, my dear," Makana answered. "It's just that most people can't _see_ theirs."

"I guess that's a damper," Ezio said, tone drawling lightly.

"They told me you would be a bit of a handful," Makana said.

"They?" Ezio asked, arching an eyebrow.

"Mm," Makana shook her head, "don't worry about that right now. You're freezing again."

Ezio glanced down at his hands. The frost had made it all the way to his neck, and he hadn't noticed.

"What is this?" he asked.

"It's not important just now," Makana said. "There is a storm coming. As I told you, it began with the All, and it will end with you, but you and Morgyn must be united against it, or you will both fall to it. Remember what you mean to each other, Ezio. Stand together, or you will lose everything. Already, you are losing things, little bits and pieces slipping away forever. I cannot stop it. Only you can do that. Ezio, some of what you're losing are pieces of yourselves."

Ezio's eyes widened, his mouth opening to ask what she meant, and then she was gone, and he jolted awake in his bed. He sat up, more out of instinct than anything, and he could feel the sharp, stabbing pain in his fingers as the frost receded. He released a breath, the vapour hanging heavily in the air, two breaths, three. The vapour faded away.

 _Some of what you're losing are pieces of yourselves_.

What was that supposed to mean? No, maybe he knew what that meant, in his heart, even if his head wasn't ready to face it, just yet. He sat, breathing, for a time, and then stood up, moving his covers out of the way. Quietly, he pulled his bedroom door open, closed it behind him. Drake looked up from his desk, and went to stand, but Ezio shook his head. Drake sat back down, and Ezio scurried around the bridge, pulled Morgyn's door open and then closed it.

The dolt was taking up the entire bed, but Ezio managed to shove Morgyn over to one side, and then settle down beside the blond. Instinctively, Morgyn snuggled up against him, and somehow, everything felt right again.

He just needed to be near Morgyn, that was all. And whatever it was that Makana was talking about, it could wait until morning.


End file.
